Where am I at here?
HighLife2
Situation is that I've been going to this club for 10 years. The 1st 5 years, I had great ITC experience with this one girl. About 5 years ago, I'm in the club, drunk. The girl I always go with is away, and I get dances from a different girl. I explain that I want the same ITC experience with her, and tell her (stupidly and drunkly) that I get this ITC experience with... Anyway, when ...gets back, she hears what I did while she was away and I realize that she was only doing that stuff with me (or only a few people, I still don't know). The next time I see her, she tells me off and we don't speak again...until, about a month ago.
She tells me that I hurt her, and that now she doesn't trust me. She decides to give me another chance. What I can't figure out is why? Does she need the income? (about $400/month) Does she actually like me? (doubtful, but hopeful) Is she conflicted about this? The ITC is not as good as previous, but it is still better than I'll ever get from anyone else there. I've asked her about OTC. When I asked her 6 years + ago, she said maybe, but I didn't pursue much because the ITC was plenty. I asked her recently and she said she'd think about it. I pressed her about whether or not she did that with others and she gave me a look like she had. We never discussed price.
On a side note, she has told me that she likes that I'm confident, but hates that I'm cocky. I asked her what that meant, but she couldn't explain it. Most of me just wants to chalk this up to it is what it is, but I'd really like to know what's in her head.
She tells me that I hurt her, and that now she doesn't trust me. She decides to give me another chance. What I can't figure out is why? Does she need the income? (about $400/month) Does she actually like me? (doubtful, but hopeful) Is she conflicted about this? The ITC is not as good as previous, but it is still better than I'll ever get from anyone else there. I've asked her about OTC. When I asked her 6 years + ago, she said maybe, but I didn't pursue much because the ITC was plenty. I asked her recently and she said she'd think about it. I pressed her about whether or not she did that with others and she gave me a look like she had. We never discussed price.
On a side note, she has told me that she likes that I'm confident, but hates that I'm cocky. I asked her what that meant, but she couldn't explain it. Most of me just wants to chalk this up to it is what it is, but I'd really like to know what's in her head.
22 comments
You're wrong to think that you can't get another dancer to do the things that she does. If she does it and has gotten away with it for years with you, then others do too. You just have to get to know them and meet their price.
Sounds like she was pretty direct and clear how she's feeling.
It's pretty ungentlemanly to talk to about what you do (in private) with a woman to another woman. You should know better and keep that between the two of you. She trusted you to keep your mouth shut.
Like John said, there is a way to pursue extras with other dancers. But they way you did it 1. was entitled and 2. created unnecessary drama. Instead pursue each girl as if the other did not exist. Negotiate independently. Then trust is not violated.
As far as what happened, you don't seem to recognize that you put her on blast and that was wrong. Sure, she's probably doing what she does with you with others. And yes, other girls in the club are doing the same. But, that doesn't mean it needs to be out there in the open. Even in a strip club, a little discretion goes a long way. I know I dismiss girls who talk about what they do with other customers to me, since I don't want them talking about me to other customers. And I'm sure strippers do the same. A little discretion goes a long way.
That said, she most likely spoke to you again because she needs/wants the money. There's a ton of other possible explanations, including that she really does like you but in this case that seems even more unlikely than average.
Like JS said, she's not the only fish in the sea. She could well be the best/highest mileage girl there, but there's usually stiff competition for that title with new contenders emerging every day. At some point you have to decide if this particular juice is worth the squeeze.
You're welcome. ;)
"I know I dismiss girls who talk about what they do with other customers to me, since I don't want them talking about me to other customers. And I'm sure strippers do the same. A little discretion goes a long way."
I agree 100% with this sentiment.
But, would like to address one thing you said: " I realize that she was only doing that stuff with me (or only a few people, I still don't know)". Just a little bit of a check here -- you realize no such thing. You have no basis on which to conclude you're the only one or just one of a few ... no matter how many guys she's blowing, she's laying that on you to make you feel worse. Now, she MAY, in fact, be a low-volume girl who is a little choosier as to who she does what with, but nothing she says is evidence of that. Just worth having some perspective on this...
When my regulars move on, their replacements ALL know who my past girls were.I can't say, "Well I'm used to ,y and z." In my case last week, I just let her do her thing and she's now a 'go to' dancer for me!
Consider it a lesson learned. I also was a bit too chatty in the past, and it hurts.
Next time you're in the club I'd get piss drunk and tell every stripper "I've been paying Trixie $400 a month to suck my dick in VIP and she's doing a horrible job. I am screening new applicants to take her place." Don't worry you'll find a replacement.
I know of course you wouldn't do that, but you CAN find a replacement and you CAN find a girl that will give you better service.
Side note - the cocky and confident thing was just a stripper telling YOU what she thinks you WANT to hear. Every person likes to be told they are confident and even cocky, even when they really aren't, just like you tell strippers they're gorgeous and intelligent, when they really are not.
This is the funniest thing I've ever seen skibum say. I think we all can relate.
I think the fact that she's five years older may have played into her decision. She's older, probably not as hot, and having a harder time making as much money as she used to. She may be a little more desperate for cash, which is why she overcame her grudge, and went for the money. I think there's a chance she may agree to OTC eventually. Maybe not a greater than 50% chance, but a decent chance.
Once I was going to leave OTC with a stripper (we've done OTC before) after she got off. This particular night another dancer who was really close to her was talking with me and her about random stuff. My OTC stripper walks away for a few and her friend asks me how do I know her, upon which I respond "Oh she just cool, I come in here alot.". So my OTC stripper comes back and we continue talking and her friend asks can I get a ride tonight, my OTC stripper response was "I'm not going in that direction tonight.". Note, they supposedly were like road dogs back in the day.
Anyway, I think this chick is still comfortable with you, but maybe has some trust issues with you as far as y'all explicit ITC and possible OTC future. She may eventually come around to her old self, but I think you set yourself back as far as where you rated on her customer list.
"When describing the dancers mention looks, attitude, ethnicity, hustle factor. You can also go into detail of the private dances. Just be careful not to mention names if it may get your ATF in trouble."
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=6…
Yeah, you fucked-up by airing-out her dirty-laundry sorta speak - but many a stripper are supa-manipulative and will use anything they can to control a PL.
You fucked-up; but it's not the end of the world and no-reason you should not be getting what you are paying for and want - she was rightfully pissed at her dirty-laundry being outed; but I doubl she was genuinely hurt b/c *you* "hurt her feelings" - IMO I doubt she has any genuine feelings for you beyond your steady income else something would have materialized during the 10 years you were her regular - you "taking it to heart" about hurting her feelings IMO is a chump's game - yeah you should feel bad an apologize but keeping giving her $$$ and getting and not getting what you want is playing the chump's game IMO.
And IMO if you gotta ask if a stripper likes you, 99% of the time she doesn't - for her it's business,