Entering the mind of a dancer

avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
is something I wish I could do.

I don't make threads often, but I want to vent about this. Let me first say that I realize these girls have to put up with a lot. They have to talk to dudes they don't want to talk to and get groped during dances. So I'm well aware that to be a dancer you have to be able to tolerate a lot. That said, it's their job and they get compensated VERY well for it. I'd be willing to bet that many of these girls make more $$$ yearly than people with professional jobs without having to have any type of real job skills.

Last night, I'm at this club and as soon as I sit down, this beautiful Latina sits down besides me and introduces herself. We chit-chat a while, but while talking she was constantly on her phone texting/checking facebook WHILE SITTING with me. I understand if a dancer does this while sitting by herself, but constantly texting while sitting with a customer seems very rude and is probably not a good sales technique. To be fair, the club was very slow, but that's still not an excuse.

She sat with me for a while (mainly because the club was dead) and eventually asked for a dance, but I turned it down (although I REALLY did want a dance from her) because I just didn't like the vibe(s) I was getting from her. I can't believe I turned down a hot LATINA, but I didn't like the constant texting and on top of that, clubs in my area have super expensive lap dances (and pasties :( ), so you want to have a good feeling about a dancer before you drop $50 for two, short ass songs just to try her out.

I very rarely think about or ask myself, "Why do dancers do what they do?", but last night had me thinking about that. I don't know, I'm not a dancer, so maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But too often I see these girls do things that make me think "Why the fuck would you think that's a good sales technique/way to get a customer to buy dances from you?"



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avatar for Club_Goer_Seattle
Club_Goer_Seattle
11 years ago
GoV,

It's unfortunate that some dancers have their cell phone as their first priority in life. That was just plain rude and ignorant of her to conduct herself like that. It's good you didn't get dances from her. She probably would have paid more attention to her phone than you during that time.

I had a similar experience recently of wondering "what is that dancer thinking?" I was one of only three customers in the club (Dreamgirls at Ricks, Seattle), about 4 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon. There were about eight dancers on shift. The fourth of those that went on stage finally appealed to me. I was sitting a couple of rows away from the stage. As she ascended the stage, I moved up to the stage, tipped her, and even complimented her when she came over to schmush her boobs in my face. Another patron got up from his seat in the back of the club, walked up to the stage, and left a tip for her that was obviously a lot more than mine.

After her set she went to his seat and they chatted for maybe ten minutes. But, he didn't get any dances from her. She then headed to manager's desk off the main floor. She never came over to me. I realize that with the tip he left, she'd approach him first. But after no sale, why did she just leave the floor without coming over to me? I then headed out of the club. She was still chatting with the manager as I passed by her. I mentioned to her that I would have gotten dances from her, had she come over to me, but now I have to leave; she just said, "Oh, I'm sorry."

I'm thinking that she had to notice that I might be interested in her, yet she didn't even have the sense to approach me for dances. She lost a sale.
avatar for deogol
deogol
11 years ago
Damned if they do ask for a dance, damned if they don't ask for a dance. Sales can be so trying at times.
avatar for Prim0
Prim0
11 years ago
They are probably making enough money doing what they're doing (texting, skipping customers, etc) that they won't make a change. If they were more ambitious, they might try to improve their skills but I doubt it. As you said, it's not exactly a profession that needs much skill to get into. But as with any other job, developing skills often leads to greater rewards.

avatar for Subraman
Subraman
11 years ago
Ya, WTF are they thinking anyway? :) Sometimes, the girls are doing things based on sales profiling etc., that actually make some sense once you understand it, but are not at first always clear from a customer's point of view. And sometimes, they're just displaying some of the traits that led many of them to be strippers in the first case -- laziness, bad judgement, whatever. Yes, it would be good to read their minds so we can tell how to explain the strange (to us) behavior.

In the case of Club_Goer, perhaps she just incorrectly profiled you as not worth her time. Perhaps her whale was coming in in half an hour, and given that, she wasn't willing to expend energy between now and then on anyone who isn't a big spender, since her night is already set. 'course, maybe her memory just sucks, and she can only remember the biggest tipper at the stage, not #2, especially if you were non-descript. I know a girl who, if she gets turned down more than twice, will sulk for at least half an hour before she will approach anyone she doesn't know again, she'd rather talk to the manager or other girls before risking it again
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
Drugs can fry their brains too. Last Saturday just as I was about to call it a day, one of my regulars took the stage and I decided to get a couple of dances from her before I leave. So I went up and tipped her and she asked what I was doing and I said waiting for you. She said I'll be right over and would I buy her a Red Bull. Of course, I told her. Her dances are worth it.

When she got off stage she went to the dressing room. I thought to freshen up but 20 minutes went by and then she suddenly appeared at the table next to me buying drugs. I tapped her on the shoulder and when she turned around I pointed to the Red Bull waiting for her. She said gimme a minute. Then she disappeared into the dressing room again. To stash her buy, I thought. I waited another 15 minutes and then left the club.

She has lost one of her regulars.
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
11 years ago
I've never seen a dancer with a cell phone; it's not allowed. I'm surprised that some clubs let the girls carry one when they're on the floor. I'd make 'no cell phones outside the dressing room' a strict rule.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
11 years ago
Yeah, no cell phones on the floor would seem to be a mandatory rule. That said, in many clubs, once that rule is enacted, the girls start spending more time in the dressing room where cell phones are allowed, and the guys start complaining that the girls aren't as available -- one of those unintended consequences things. So now the club has to start patrolling and fining for spending too much time back there, which puts more stress on staff and gets the girls pissed off etc. I still think every club should have some sort of cell phone rule, just pointing out that the girls always look for ways around the rules. There's a club where I go to where the rule seems to be: no cell phones if you're with a customer, but okay to check it discreetly if you're not with a customer. That seems to have kept the girls on the floor, and the girl at my table won't check her phone, so I'm happy with it
avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
11 years ago
What pisses me off is when a stripper ignores me at the stage or gives me a shitty show after I put more money on the stage than some other guys who got a way better and /or longer show. Also when strippers pay more attention to the groups at the stage. I'll throw the same amount of money as their entire group but she stays with them longer than me. Whatever, that's just tells me to avoid them for the rest of the night or future visits.
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
11 years ago
Dancers by their nature are flighty. I does tick me off when they think that just because I would like to be with her that gives her the right to take advantage. If a girl does more that answer or check her phone I ask her to leave and maybe come back when she has time. I told a girl that was sitting with me that was on her phone I said "since what ever you are doing on your phone is more important than what we are doing maybe you could go someplace else and come back when you are do?" When she did not leave I got up went to the stage to tip the stage dancer and changed tables. She was PO'ed when she came by and a different girl was sitting with me. Another time one of the very few times I was going for OTC I met up with her at a bar down the street from her house she shared with her sister. We went back to her place and she decided that she had to take her sister to work and would be back in 10 minutes max of 15 minutes and wanted me to wait in her house. I followed her out the door seconds after she left, went to my car down the street and waited 20 minutes. When she did not return after 20 minutes I left. She called me 1/2 hour after I left wanting to know where I was and why I had not waited. I told her she said 15 min. and after that I figured she forgot about me and left. She sounded manic on the phone and demanded I come back as we had a "Date" I think she had scored with her crack dealer and had spent all her money and was looking to get some from me. I told her if she really wanted to see me I was at XYZ club and she could come there or I would call her next time in town if I wanted to see her. I never saw her again. I have no patience with BS if a dancer wants my money she will at least pay attention to me.
avatar for joewebber
joewebber
11 years ago
"And sometimes, they're just displaying some of the traits that led many of them to be strippers in the first case -- laziness, bad judgement, whatever."

so often the case
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
11 years ago
I don't want to enter the mind of a dancer. I'm satisfied just to enter her body.

avatar for shailynn
shailynn
11 years ago
The mind of a stripper...

I had a semi-long term relationship with a stripper several years ago. She was a very well spoken and intelligent girl. Sadly she thought she was a lot smarter than she was and eventually that lead to her demise. Also she would always make the wrong decision, no matter how clear the right decision was, she would make the wrong one. Some of this can be attributed to any woman in general but when it comes to the extreme as in her case, over the years it seems to be the norm with strippers I have met.
These days when I go into a club I'd rather latch onto a 7 who is personable, can carry a conversation and at least acts like she's interested in me versus the 9 that may look like a goddess but could give a fuck less about me other than how much money am I willing to part with during my time with her.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
11 years ago
Vikings: "Entering the mind of a dancer"

I prefer entering the pussy of a dancer.
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
11 years ago
@chessmaster-
If you don't know why they go to groups, you're not paying attention. You might go to a club and buy X amount of dances. If you have a group of 5, perhaps all 5 buy X amount of dances. Granted, not all of them are like that, but I've seen it where this one girl leads them to the lap dance area seemingly for hours on end. It might piss you off, but that one is not hard to explain.

As far as cell phones are concerned, I know the one club I visit regularly has a rule where you can only look at it if you are at their bar. I suppose I never really thought about it, but the fact a different regular club has a ban on cell phone use on the main floor is probably the reason they tend to go and hide after their stage sets are done.
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
11 years ago
"These days when I go into a club I'd rather latch onto a 7 who is personable, can carry a conversation and at least acts like she's interested in me versus the 9 that may look like a goddess but could give a fuck less about me other than how much money am I willing to part with during my time with her."

Me too. Couldn't agree more.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
11 years ago
Recently my favorite has started letting me into her "real" personal life. After a few times of sharing I asked her not to any longer because despite her appearances and how well spoken she is it appears that she is basically a thug who likes thugs and I want a few more CR thrills before she goes off the list.
avatar for joker44
joker44
11 years ago
Had a similar experience with a smartphone dancer. When she eventually asked for a dance I told her that I was initially interested but wasn't anymore because she was more interested in her phone than me. She protested but said she check with me later that evening. I told her not to bother. I didn't want any convo or dances from her this visit because of her rude behavior. Maybe on another visit.

In these cases it's important to clearly say why I'm not interested.

avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
11 years ago
If she checks her phone occasionally I don't see a problem. If she is more interested in her phone conversation than me, then it's a problem. I mean she would have to be on her phone the entire time for me to care.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
“…I'd be willing to bet that many of these girls make more $$$ yearly than people with professional jobs without having to have any type of real job skills …”

That pretty much answers the question IMO – most of these girls have no job skills and often times no life skills either – so not much should be expected and we should not be too surprised nor disappointed – it’s part of the SC world – it’s like been surprised or upset b/c one went to the driver’s license office (or any other inefficient gov office) and got bad service or treatment.


“…eventually asked for a dance, but I turned it down (although I REALLY did want a dance from her) because I just didn't like the vibe(s) I was getting from her …”

That was a good move IMO – the more one SCs (and reads TUSCL) – the more one develops a bit of a “SC/ROB gut feeling” that tends to raise red flags when dealing with some of these hos – sometimes one’s gut feeling can be wrong; but IME it’s often times been more right than wrong – and having to prepay $50 as you do; not worth not following your SC gut – it’s enough we plunk down a good amount of our hard-earned $$$ - it’s unacceptable to be treated disrespectfully while you are paying someone.


“…I very rarely think about or ask myself, "Why do dancers do what they do?" …”

Women in general are hard if not impossible to figure out LOL – throw in a woman being a dancer that just adds more fuel to the fire – that is why I personally prefer to keep it business and not get involved in any chit-chat or personal matters – I pay her and if she performs – I pay her some more – and if she doesn’t perform; then she’s black-listed
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
And one last thing LOL.

Just like many PLs may only see dancers as a sexy piece of meat and not a person – a lot of these dancers probably just see us as ATMs and if it wasn’t for the cash they can get from us; they would not bother to give us the time of day – i.e. many of them just tolerate us at best and they would rather not have to deal w/ us if it wasn’t for the cash – so they put in the minimum amount of effort b/c they don’t’ like the PLs nor their jobs and are just doing it b/c of the cash.
avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
11 years ago
Papi chulos last post is exactly how I feel. I've only recently started going to strip clubs on a regular basis and now I get more of a sense when the girl has an attitude or an ego and I don't fuck with them. But that's hard because it's usually the hottest strippers who act like this. But I have seen some strippers who are better than a 7(to use shailynns number) who don't act like the're gods gift to man. Maybe even a few 9s. These are the best kind of strippers to me.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
"Entering the mind of a dancer...is something I wish I could do."

Careful there, GoV You know what Nietzsche said about staring into the abyss.
avatar for ime
ime
11 years ago
once in the mind of the dancer just hope you don't start thinking like one and getting easily distracted by shiny objects
avatar for grand1511
grand1511
11 years ago
The worst experience like this I've had was when a dancer backed her ass into, started grinding hard for a good long time while she checked messages on her phone to which I simply replied "No honey, there will be no more dances for me today." Wish I had her number so I could have texted that message to her!!!
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
11 years ago
Civie girls are also guilty of using cell phones in the middle of a conversation. Must be my advanced age or lame looks, but I have noticed that women, of all ages, think nothing of hitting the phone two or three times in the middle of a conversation in a club or a dinner date.

Dancers are addicted to cell phones as a means of recruiting customers to come to the club, checking on what their friends will be doing after work, reading text messages from other part-time employers or as a crutch because they simply have no conversational skills or basic manners.
avatar for Clackport
Clackport
11 years ago
Damn GoVikings, you turned down a dance from a hot Latina? I wouldn't have. Plus you said she sat down by you and talked to you for awhile before even bringing up a dance. You should have given her a chance, she could of ended up being a fav of yours. However, I do understand that her texting while talking to you is a little annoying.
avatar for gawker
gawker
11 years ago
I used to think my ATF had at least average intelligence as I watched her negotiate drug deals, manipulate customers (and me), and deal with her fucked up life - car repossessions, apartment evictions, court summonses, etc. however as I look at her decision making process ( or lack thereof) I realize it's more than a lack of education. What I see as an easy choice is a challenge for her. She consistently makes wrong choices, deals with adversity the wrong way, and lacks the skills needed to move ahead. Research on students with special needs shows that those with grit and resilience succeed, while those lacking these attributes frequently fail. Overcoming adversity is just not in her skill set. Being a great cocksucker gets her by for now, but that, too, shall pass.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
11 years ago
Gwker have you ever seen a rat thrown in a cage with a pitbull and snake. I call it survival insticts not really intelligence.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
11 years ago
I know of one dancer who sometimes uses her phone around me but a number of times she was showing me something on her phone. I don't mind that. Whenever I get a smart phone, I might text her if I'm in the club wondering if she is there too. Maybe. She might see my text before she sees me.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
11 years ago
Unless you drop a mint dancers don't give a shit about possibly losing you as a customer because they assume that there will be plenty more right behind you. They can be awfully arrogant, short sighted and stupid. I equate trying to get into their heads would be like wandering aimlessly around in a maze.....full of cobwebs.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
^^^lol...lots of funny and great comments. I just ask them if they are sending me dirty text messages
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Many of all your comments resonate like thunder. Lopaw put it down pretty precisely-if you haven't spent lots of greenbacks on these gals, they don't know you from Adam.

These days, I don't even try to understand stripper thoughts/motives. They will do what they do.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
11 years ago
GV,with 99% of all dancers 1+1=3.Their attention span is fleeting.They often respond to the ringtone of their phone like Povlov's dog.
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
11 years ago
@chessmaster- That's how I am. I don't mind at all if a stripper checks her phone occasionaly while sitting with me. But this is the first time I've ever had a stripper constantly on her phone texting while sitting with me.

lopaw- Yeah, that's a great point. This girl was really pretty too, one of those types who can probably sell dances on looks alone.

ranukam- There have been a few times in the past where I've had a bad feeling about a dancer and how she'll perform, but I got a dance with her anyway because her beauty won me over. When I did that, I ended up regretting it big time. This time, I didn't bite. I can still give this chick another shot if I choose. Keep in mind, at minimum I gotta pre-pay $50 just to get a couple of short songs to be able to find out how she'll perform.



Lots of great comments/feedback...thanks guys
avatar for Clackport
Clackport
11 years ago
@govikings- a few years ago I was tipping this hot girl on stage a few times, she wasn't giving me any eye contact at all. I asked her for a lap dance, she told me she wanted to go talk to her friends first. I ended up waiting 15 minutes, I was a little mad and I thought the dances were going to suck. The dances ended up being very very good and she turned into my ATF.

Another time there was this really hot girl that was giving me a lot of compliments. I decided to get a couple of lap dances from her and it was a complete air dance. I was disappointed and made a mental note never to get dances from her again. I saw her again a couple of months later and she was looking so damn good. I got dances from her and this time the dances were no holds barred and she ended up being a CF.

The morale of the story is you never know unless you try.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
I'm with the general consensus here. Generally speaking, if she's not paying attention to me (and that doesn't necessarily mean sucking me off), then I'm not going to be interested in her.

I *have* commented to dancers on the subject, if the offense isn't to egregious, in hopes of fixing the problem, but it doesn't seem to work for very long.
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