Advice needed on how to drop a favorite dancer

dude - If you have $700 to blow on a single visit, don't worry about your reputation. There will be plenty of other dancers willing to take some of your money.

Shadowcat is right. You're the customer. Let the girls feel the guilt, if any. You're there for your satisfaction, not hers. Just go there, have a great time, and remind yourself it ain't about her, it's about you the customer.

Thanks. I agree with both of your advice fundamentally, just thinking of how to execute that in real situation. Do I tell her I'm no longer interested, or do I just play coy? Be upfront, or coy about it?

Dancers know that customers will move on to other dancers. That's why they have no real loyalty to customers. It's all part of the SC game. You are free to move on to other dancers in your favorite club. No regrets or recriminations.

When you drop $500.00 on another dancer, the word will get around. You don't have to say or do anything.

The easiest way would be to figure out when she WONT be there, I guarantee she takes days off, and go in then. That should start the transition and help to keep emotions and drama to the minimum.

And I don't mean go exclusively on those day, but even once when she's not around will help the situation.

When you go always have another stripper keeping you company. Best way to send the message without saying a word.

I have done it in the past. My old favorite kept coming around, so I had to point blank tell her that I wanted to see what else the club had to offer, no disrespect to her. She wasn't happy about it, but she got the message. Shortly thereafter, she stopped speaking to me, so we became instant strangers. I still see her now, but it's like we never knew each other...Shit happens, but it's okay, you're in charge of your money.

I don't usually go from spending a lot to nothing if they are a favorite dancer. The reason I say that is because I usually have lots of favorites and spend a little here and a little there. Sometimes there aren't a whole lot of dancers around I'm interested in and the ol favorite is about the only thing I'm interested in. I may cut back to only a couple of dances and leave it at that. However I'm not spending hundreds of dollars on any one dancer either. If that's a significant part of her monthly income, I would expect some drama or major disappointment from her. Then if it is and she gets cut off, then she may find a job somewhere else at another club and be gone for good after the drama is over and she needs money.

Dancers know this comes with the territory. I was sitting with a fav one day when she remarked "See that guy? He used to be my best customer. Came in all the time just to see me. Couldn't get enough of me in the VIP. Then one day he just stopped getting dances from me. " She said this in a very matter-of-fact "c'est la vie" tone.

Then she grabbed my arm, snuggled up to me and said, "good thing that will never happen with you, right sweetie?" I dropped her a couple months later. Oh, well.

"I agree with both of your advice fundamentally, just thinking of how to execute that in real situation. Do I tell her I'm no longer interested, or do I just play coy? Be upfront, or coy about it?"

Playing coy won't work. Given how much you spend on her, you're probably going to need to be direct in order to get her to leave you alone.

You've really got 3 choices: (1) Find a different club; (2) Go when she is not working; or (3) man up and just let her know that you're looking to explore other options.

You don't want to leave the club, so either you avoid her or you just break the news to her. Avoidance only works for so long and really jams up your options, so in my opinion your best bet is just to let her know, right out of the gate, that you would really like to get to know some of the other girls in the club.

I always try to have a backup favorite, partly in case my regular is not working, partly so I can more easily dump the regular if necessary.

rickdugan is giving the right advice. It's not easy dropping a favorite dancer you've been seeing for a while. $700 is a decent amount so she'll have a vested interest. There will be some drama and it's mostly out of your hands. If it's your favorite club, you'll have to "suffer" through it. If it's not, take the club off your rotation. I've tried the day shift/night shift change, go when she's not there thing, but it's too much hassle. You go to a club to relax and have fun with the ladies. The distractions dumping an ex-favorite dancer causes puts a damper on things. If you can't give up the club, try the direct approach. In my experience, it only works occasionally with super cool gals. And when it doesn't -- the most likely scenario -- it's still cleaner and less messy than ignoring her, etc. Good luck.

Come on BE A MAN! Go to the club, walk up the bar, grab a drink, walk over to any other stripper, disapear for some dances. DONE! Then don't look at, walk up to, or other wise associate with your old dancer. DONE! Note it might be hard to get dances from her friends at the club. But the smell of money will be a strong bait. One canstant in life, "Its always about the money", when you leave it will be on to the next customer.

I agree the direct approach is best, maybe even a phone call or text message. While I'm sure the dancers are used to good customers moving on, I would expect some chill in the air when you are in the club when she's working. I've had that happen once and I only spent $150 or so per visit. In my case I started getting dances from a dancer that my former favorite hated. Evidently that's all it took. She didn't acknowledge I existed for a few visits, but apparently she's over that now as we spent some time recently in the vip room. She actually seemed pissed that the bird dog kept coming back to attempt to spoil our fun. How ever you handle it, good luck and let us know how it goes.

Run like hell motha fucka !

Tell her she should always be working at 2AM!

“usually spend a fair amount of money on dances and VIPs (average about $700 per trip).”

I would say that is a very fair amount!!!

Hey – it’s your $$$ and you should, and have the right to, spend it to your satisfaction – It’s not as if she is with you for free. Don’t know how long you have SCed – but as others will tell you – it’s all comes down to the $$$ - don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise.

As other have suggested, there is nothing wrong, and you are in your right, to tell her how you feel. 99.9% of the time, the dancers DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU or your feelings; they only care about the $$$ you spend on them. As long as you are spending $$$ on them (especially hundreds of $s every time you see her), they will make you feel special and many of them will give you SS (see TUSCL glossary) or try to give you a guilt trip if you tell them you want to “see” other dancers b/c they don’t want to lose out on sure $$$.

One way that often gets dancers to disappear is to tell them you don’t have any $$$ - they’ll disappear so fast you’d think they had left the state.

Just Walk Away...Quickly.

if you are interested in someone else, you should tell her to get the other girl for a double dance or a double room. If you go back and you want to see the new girl you could explain it to her that you liked her coworker. You could also just tell her that you had your fun and you are looking for someone new. If she isn't crazy, she will understand either options. If you just start being a douchebag and acting weird then she will tell everyone else you are a douchebag. If you are nice about it, she will spread the word about your spending with her and you will have an array of women vying for your attention.

I hope NOT you. LOL

Lots of good advice here, thanks fellas. I'll provide an update soon, though I'm leaning towards telling her I'm broke!

You Just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don't need to be coy, Roy Just listen to me Hop on the bus, Gus You don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free

@LMT: "if you are interested in someone else, you should tell her to get the other girl for a double dance or a double room."

He wants to drop his current dancer, and your solution is to give her more attention?

Although, maybe you've got a point. kingknight, maybe you should do a double VIP with her and another girl. Then give all the money to the new girl and say something like "I had a great time. You girls split this however you like."

Then run.

Seriously, rick's number 3 is the best advice. The reaction you get may range from attempted guilt evocation ("don't you like me anymore?") to mostly rational ("OK, let me know if need anything else.") If you're lucky, she may be of the "What can I do to make you stay?" type.

Remember her side, though. She stands to lose a bit of cash if you see others, and it wouldn't be entirely rational on your part to think that she's going to let that go easily, so be prepared for a variety of tactics to get you to stay. However, if you're firm and polite, and don't fall for any bullshit, the worst that will happen is she'll start spreading bullshit about you to the other girls. Waving $700 under their noses will likely negate that tactic, though.

Lying and telling her you're broke may backfire (if you care) when you give somebody else some money. In my opinion, telling the truth, i.e. "I'd like to see some other dancers tonight," is still the best policy. You shouldn't be afraid of a little drama on her part, after, as pointed out by others, it is your money to do with as you please.

It may not be applicable to you, but I just love the expression on a girl's face when I pull out the "If my wife can handle me seeing other women, so can you" rejoinder to their possessiveness. :)

I recently faced this situation when a hot new Latina came to my club and replaced a lovely AA girl in my affections. What I did was say nothing to the AA girl, except "no thanks" a couple of times. The VIP sessions with the Latina are burned into my memory forever. Sadly, after about 8 months, she's moved on to another city (damn!). But fortunately, the AA beauty has either a short memory or just a good amount of common sense because we've been back for a couple of recent hot sessions in the VIP.

" In my opinion, telling the truth, i.e. "I'd like to see some other dancers tonight," is still the best policy"

I can hardly believe my eyes. Telling a dancer the truth & being just like ME!

"But fortunately, the AA beauty has either a short memory or just a good amount of common sense because we've been back for a couple of recent hot sessions in the VIP"

IMHO I'd say common sense from a business POV.

"Always Leave the Cage Door Open, So the Bird Can Return". This was a line of dialogue from a movie called "Rising Sun" a 1993 film. I was watching this Blu-Ray disc recently. That bit of advice seems to apply here.

@Alucard: What part of any post of mine, other than jesting ones, leads you to believe that I advocate anything but the truth. Or was this just another opportunity for you to tout your noble demeanor?

Just tell her you want more of the buffet. That you are not chasing her away, but you are not dating her, nor even married and unless she wants to step up (which she won't and I am sure you don't want), that's that.

Tell her it's business, sometimes it's walmart, sometimes it's target, sometimes it's K-mart. (She won't like this comparison, but face it, stripper relationships are discount relationships.)

"sometimes it's walmart, sometimes it's target, sometimes it's K-mart."

sometimes it's the dollar store...