Reviews

40 reviews by valuedicks

Peppermint Hippo Reno

Reno, NV

The Champagne Shakedown

**Entry: Thursday & Saturday.** Combined review covering two visits within the last few weeks. Thursday cover was $15. Saturday was $25. **Inside the Club:** I’ve reviewed this place a few times already so I’m not going to waste…

2 wks ago

Fantasy Girls

Reno, NV

Business Is Slow, Asses Are Plentiful

★★★★★★★★5.7/10

**Entry: Wednesday x2** Been about a year since I’ve been here so this is going to be a combined review of two Wednesday visits over the last few weeks. Cover was $20 at 9pm both times.…

2 wks ago1

Firehouse Cabaret

Salem, OR

I Survived the Firehouse’s Geriatric Showcase

★★★★★★★4.0/10

Went to the Firehouse on a Thursday night because I wanted to see what else Salem had to offer in terms of talent and LORD HAVE MERCY… I paid my $5 cover, got my little ID…

10 mos ago

Last Chance Saloon

Gervais, OR

I Accidentally Visited a Gang Hideout With a Pole

★★★★★★★★4.3/10

This was my final stop on my accidental horror movie tour of Oregon strip clubs and THANK GOD. I don’t think my soul could’ve handled one more Oregonian “gentlemen’s” club establishment. This place was somewhere…

10 mos ago1

Spyce Gentlemen's Club

Portland, OR

I Braved Portland’s Zombie Apocalypse for This Review

★★★★★★★★5.7/10

Spyce. Wednesday night. Downtown Portland. Parked somewhere on the street because that was the only option but holy hell. Downtown Portland after dark felt like side questing in a zombie game. Every 10ft there was…

10 mos ago1

Sugar Shack Gentlemen's Club

Salem, OR

I Saw Fat White Girls on Stage & Questioned Life Choices

★★★★★★★2.3/10

Decided to swing by Salem, Oregon on a Tuesday night because my strip club tour isn’t just about Portland. I wanted to see how the “smaller” areas stack up in talent. Spoiler: they don’t. $0 cover.…

10 mos ago

Stars Cabaret

Salem, OR

Stars Cabaret: The Sugar Shack Apology Tour Stop

★★★★★★★★6.0/10

After being disappointed by Sugar Shack I decided to check out Stars Cabaret. $0 cover. Club was surrounded by lower budget motels but surprisingly the area didn’t scream “mug me here”. Points for civility I…

10 mos ago2

Casa Diablo Original Blood

Portland, OR

Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #5: Hairy Kitties & Public Orgasms

★★★★★★★★★7.3/10

Hit up Casa Diablo in Portland on a Monday night because my Portland strip club tour requires me to see the infamous spots even if my soul might leave in protest. Cover? $0. Bonus points:…

10 mos ago1

Acropolis

Portland, OR

Portland Strip Club Tour #4: Full Nude Acrobatics & Mystery Smells

★★★★★★★★★6.7/10

Hit up Acropolis on a Monday afternoon because apparently it’s a Portland rite of passage to try their steaks. No cover. Outside looks like a dirty circus tent. Inside wasn’t better in the slightest. It…

10 mos ago2

Club Rouge Beaverton

Portland, OR

Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #3: Cirque du Titties

★★★★★★★★6.0/10

Stopped into Club Rouge in Beaverton on a Sunday night around 9pm because my Portland strip club tour demands consistency even if it means driving out to the suburbs. $10 cover, ID check, light patdown.…

10 mos ago

Columbia Strip

Portland, OR

Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #2: I Came, I Saw, I Wanted a Tetanus Shot

★★★★★★★3.7/10

I hit Columbia Strip on a Saturday night because my Portland strip club tour must go on even if it kills me. Pulled up around 11ish. No cover and immediately understood why. The outside looked…

10 mos ago2

CaBaRet II

Portland, OR

Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #1: The Latina Olympics

★★★★★★★★★8.0/10

Pulled up to Cabaret 2 in Portland on a Friday night around 10 something. Parking lot was packed. Cover was either $5 or $10. Simple ID check and pat down. The entrance is down a flight of…

10 mos ago3

Spearmint Rhino

Minneapolis, MN

The Minneapolis Strip Club Tour Ends

★★★★★★★★★6.7/10

Friday night. $20 cover. Last stop of my Minneapolis strip club tour before work drags me to another city (stay tuned). Layout: As soon as you walk in there’s cocktail tables with stools on the…

1 yr ago

Dream Girls

Minneapolis, MN

Stop #4: The Great Soda Shakedown of Minneapolis

★★★★★★★★5.0/10

Came through on a Thursday night. $20 cover. They scanned my ID then immediately hit me with “You gotta buy a $15 NA beverage.” Choices: water, energy drink, or soda. No alcohol, no juice, not…

1 yr ago

Seville Club

Minneapolis, MN

$10 Cover to See the Cast of “Bones: The Musical”

★★★★★★★★5.3/10

Wednesday night. $10 cover to get in. The place is in a prime location surrounded by bars, restaurants, and drunk foot traffic so you’d expect it to be loud and lively. Instead I walked into…

1 yr ago

Downtown Cabaret

Minneapolis, MN

No Land Beasts Detected

★★★★★★★★★7.0/10

Stop #2 on my Minneapolis strip club tour before I head back home and compile my deeply scientific findings for the good of humanity. Tuesday afternoon I rolled into Downtown Cabaret. No cover charge. My…

1 yr ago1

Rick's Cabaret

Minneapolis, MN

No Land Beasts in Sight - Midwest, You’re Alright

★★★★★★★★5.3/10

Work dragged me out to Minneapolis so naturally I made it my patriotic duty to check out and support the local… talent. That’s how I found myself inside Rick’s Cabaret on a Monday night, $10…

1 yr ago

Fantasy Girls

Reno, NV

Praise Be: The Land Mammals Are Missing

★★★★★★★★★6.3/10

Entry: Monday afternoon. No cover. Usual metal detector walk through. Inside the Cave: I’ve reviewed this place many times and have gone over the layout before. It’s still darker than a rat’s asshole in a coal…

1 yr ago

Peppermint Hippo Reno

Reno, NV

Come For the Dancers, Stay Because a Bottle Girl Blocked the Exit

★★★★★★★★5.7/10

Popped into this spot on a Saturday night. Cover was $25 and apparently they do valet parking only now? I got dropped off so I can’t tell you what they charge but judging by the…

1 yr ago

Men's Club of Reno

Reno, NV

Strip Club or Assisted Living Facility? Hard to Tell.

★★★★★★★3.7/10

Pulled up on a Friday night to finally check out the elusive Men’s Club aka Reno’s last strip club on my to do list. Cover was somewhere around $30, maybe more/maybe less but I blacked…

1 yr ago4

Fantasy Girls

Reno, NV

Even Marisol couldn’t be bothered

★★★★★★★★5.3/10

Rolled into Fantasy Girls on a Friday night. $30 cover. Same routine as always. No need to rehash the club layout. If you’ve read my past reviews, you already know the vibes. It’s Reno little…

1 yr ago1

Larry Flynt's Hustler Club

San Francisco, CA

Descended Into the Strip Club Abyss and Found Nothing

★★★★★★★★5.3/10

Popped into this spot on a Wednesday night because I had $25 I no longer wanted. Entrance is on the Kearny side, not Columbus. Plenty of other clubs within walking distance to this one. You walk…

1 yr ago3

Fantasy Girls

Reno, NV

The Art of the Upcharge: Moscow Edition

★★★★★★★★★★9.3/10

Hit up Fantasy Girls again. Saturday night, $30 cover, same metal detector routine. Security gave me the usual pat down. We’re honestly probably at a first name basis at this point. Inside the Cave: As always…

1 yr ago

Peppermint Hippo Reno

Reno, NV

$2 Tacos, $180 Soul Snatching: Do the Math

★★★★★★★★★★8.7/10

Pulled into Peppermint Hippo on a random Tuesday around 2PM. No cover (God bless America) and I came for what really matters at that hour: the $2 tacos. And let me tell you, they slap.…

1 yr ago1

Wild Orchid Gentlemens Club

Reno, NV

Stripper Hunger Games: Reno Edition

★★★★★★★★4.3/10

Pulled up to Wild Orchid a few Friday nights ago with the intention to just vibe, sip a drink, and maybe spiritually reconnect with a fake boob or two. I paid $30 to get molested…

1 yr ago3