Reviews by valuedicks
Submit a ReviewFirehouse Cabaret
5782 Portland Rd NE
Salem, OR 97305
I Survived the Firehouse’s Geriatric Showcase
Went to the Firehouse on a Thursday night because I wanted to see what else Salem had to offer in terms of talent and LORD HAVE MERCY…
I paid my $5 cover, got my little ID…
Nov 25, 2025, 3:04 AM
Last Chance Saloon
7650 Checkerboard Rd NE
Gervais, OR 97026
I Accidentally Visited a Gang Hideout With a Pole
This was my final stop on my accidental horror movie tour of Oregon strip clubs and THANK GOD. I don’t think my soul could’ve handled one more Oregonian “gentlemen’s” club establishment.
This place was somewhere…
Nov 25, 2025, 2:23 AM
Spyce Gentlemen's Club
210 NW Couch St
Portland, OR 97209
I Braved Portland’s Zombie Apocalypse for This Review
Spyce. Wednesday night. Downtown Portland. Parked somewhere on the street because that was the only option but holy hell. Downtown Portland after dark felt like side questing in a zombie game. Every 10ft there was…
1 commentslast: 3 wks ago(valuedicks)
Nov 20, 2025, 7:53 PM
Sugar Shack Gentlemen's Club
3803 Commercial St SE
Salem, OR 97302
I Saw Fat White Girls on Stage & Questioned Life Choices
Decided to swing by Salem, Oregon on a Tuesday night because my strip club tour isn’t just about Portland. I wanted to see how the “smaller” areas stack up in talent.
Spoiler: they don’t.
$0 cover.…
Nov 19, 2025, 11:46 PM
Stars Cabaret
1550 Weston Ct NE
Salem, OR 97301
Stars Cabaret: The Sugar Shack Apology Tour Stop
After being disappointed by Sugar Shack I decided to check out Stars Cabaret. $0 cover. Club was surrounded by lower budget motels but surprisingly the area didn’t scream “mug me here”. Points for civility I…
2 commentslast: 3 wks ago(blahblahblahs)
Nov 19, 2025, 11:07 PM
Casa Diablo Original Blood
2839 NW St Helens Rd
Portland, OR 97210
Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #5: Hairy Kitties & Public Orgasms
Hit up Casa Diablo in Portland on a Monday night because my Portland strip club tour requires me to see the infamous spots even if my soul might leave in protest. Cover? $0. Bonus points:…
1 commentslast: 3 wks ago(Assegai12)
Nov 18, 2025, 10:57 PM
Acropolis
8325 SE McLoughlin Blvd
Portland, OR 97202
Portland Strip Club Tour #4: Full Nude Acrobatics & Mystery Smells
Hit up Acropolis on a Monday afternoon because apparently it’s a Portland rite of passage to try their steaks. No cover.
Outside looks like a dirty circus tent. Inside wasn’t better in the slightest. It…
2 commentslast: 3 wks ago(FrustratedInTheUS)
Nov 18, 2025, 4:43 PM
Club Rouge Beaverton
8687 SW Hall Blvd
Beaverton, OR 97008
Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #3: Cirque du Titties
Stopped into Club Rouge in Beaverton on a Sunday night around 9pm because my Portland strip club tour demands consistency even if it means driving out to the suburbs. $10 cover, ID check, light patdown.…
Nov 17, 2025, 11:31 PM
Columbia Strip
605 N Columbia Blvd
Portland, OR 97217
Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #2: I Came, I Saw, I Wanted a Tetanus Shot
I hit Columbia Strip on a Saturday night because my Portland strip club tour must go on even if it kills me. Pulled up around 11ish. No cover and immediately understood why. The outside looked…
2 commentslast: 3 wks ago(gSteph)
Nov 17, 2025, 2:36 AM
CaBaRet II
17544 SE Stark St
Portland, OR 97233
Portland Strip Club Tour Stop #1: The Latina Olympics
Pulled up to Cabaret 2 in Portland on a Friday night around 10 something. Parking lot was packed.
Cover was either $5 or $10. Simple ID check and pat down.
The entrance is down a flight of…
2 commentslast: 3 wks ago(valuedicks)
Nov 17, 2025, 1:24 AM
Spearmint Rhino
725 Hennepin Ave
Minneapolis, MN 55403
The Minneapolis Strip Club Tour Ends
Friday night. $20 cover. Last stop of my Minneapolis strip club tour before work drags me to another city (stay tuned).
Layout: As soon as you walk in there’s cocktail tables with stools on the…
Aug 16, 2025, 6:57 PM
Dream Girls
12 N 5th St
Minneapolis, MN 55403
Stop #4: The Great Soda Shakedown of Minneapolis
Came through on a Thursday night. $20 cover. They scanned my ID then immediately hit me with “You gotta buy a $15 NA beverage.” Choices: water, energy drink, or soda. No alcohol, no juice, not…
Aug 15, 2025, 8:41 PM
Seville Club
15 Glenwood Ave
Minneapolis, MN 55403
$10 Cover to See the Cast of “Bones: The Musical”
Wednesday night. $10 cover to get in. The place is in a prime location surrounded by bars, restaurants, and drunk foot traffic so you’d expect it to be loud and lively. Instead I walked into…
Aug 15, 2025, 1:54 AM
Downtown Cabaret
115 S 4th St
Minneapolis, MN 55401
No Land Beasts Detected
Stop #2 on my Minneapolis strip club tour before I head back home and compile my deeply scientific findings for the good of humanity. Tuesday afternoon I rolled into Downtown Cabaret. No cover charge. My…
Aug 14, 2025, 2:41 AM
Rick's Cabaret
300 S 3rd St
Minneapolis, MN 55415
No Land Beasts in Sight - Midwest, You’re Alright
Work dragged me out to Minneapolis so naturally I made it my patriotic duty to check out and support the local… talent. That’s how I found myself inside Rick’s Cabaret on a Monday night, $10…
Aug 12, 2025, 3:56 PM
Fantasy Girls
1095 4th St
Reno, NV 89512
Praise Be: The Land Mammals Are Missing
Entry: Monday afternoon. No cover. Usual metal detector walk through.
Inside the Cave:
I’ve reviewed this place many times and have gone over the layout before. It’s still darker than a rat’s asshole in a coal…
Aug 5, 2025, 6:32 PM
Peppermint Hippo Reno
1060 Telegraph St
Reno, NV 89502
Come For the Dancers, Stay Because a Bottle Girl Blocked the Exit
Popped into this spot on a Saturday night. Cover was $25 and apparently they do valet parking only now? I got dropped off so I can’t tell you what they charge but judging by the…
Jul 28, 2025, 4:30 PM
Men's Club of Reno
270 Lake St
Reno, NV 89501
Strip Club or Assisted Living Facility? Hard to Tell.
Pulled up on a Friday night to finally check out the elusive Men’s Club aka Reno’s last strip club on my to do list. Cover was somewhere around $30, maybe more/maybe less but I blacked…
4 commentslast: 4 mos ago(Sikdir)
Jul 27, 2025, 4:40 AM
Fantasy Girls
1095 4th St
Reno, NV 89512
Even Marisol couldn’t be bothered
Rolled into Fantasy Girls on a Friday night. $30 cover. Same routine as always.
No need to rehash the club layout. If you’ve read my past reviews, you already know the vibes. It’s Reno little…
1 commentslast: 4 mos ago(PutaTester)
Jul 27, 2025, 4:39 AM
Larry Flynt's Hustler Club
1031 Kearny St
San Francisco, CA 94133
Descended Into the Strip Club Abyss and Found Nothing
Popped into this spot on a Wednesday night because I had $25 I no longer wanted.
Entrance is on the Kearny side, not Columbus. Plenty of other clubs within walking distance to this one.
You walk…
3 commentslast: 3 mos ago(Nixur68)
Jul 11, 2025, 5:42 PM
Fantasy Girls
1095 4th St
Reno, NV 89512
The Art of the Upcharge: Moscow Edition
Hit up Fantasy Girls again. Saturday night, $30 cover, same metal detector routine. Security gave me the usual pat down. We’re honestly probably at a first name basis at this point.
Inside the Cave:
As always…
Jun 17, 2025, 8:17 PM
Peppermint Hippo Reno
1060 Telegraph St
Reno, NV 89502
$2 Tacos, $180 Soul Snatching: Do the Math
Pulled into Peppermint Hippo on a random Tuesday around 2PM. No cover (God bless America) and I came for what really matters at that hour: the $2 tacos. And let me tell you, they slap.…
1 commentslast: 6 mos ago(Jascoi)
Jun 8, 2025, 3:48 PM
Wild Orchid Gentlemens Club
515 S Virginia St
Reno, NV 89501
Stripper Hunger Games: Reno Edition
Pulled up to Wild Orchid a few Friday nights ago with the intention to just vibe, sip a drink, and maybe spiritually reconnect with a fake boob or two. I paid $30 to get molested…
3 commentslast: 6 mos ago(Rod84)
Jun 8, 2025, 2:28 PM
Fantasy Girls
1095 4th St
Reno, NV 89512
The Only Fantasy is Thinking I’ll Ever Stop Coming Here
Pulled up a few Saturday nights ago with a buddy, both of us sober enough to make bad decisions and just drunk enough to not care. Usual drill with the metal detector and pat down…
Jun 8, 2025, 1:47 PM
Fantasy Girls
1095 4th St
Reno, NV 89512
Fantasy Girls Field Report: Mascots, Maybes, and Missed Opportunities
Came in late night Saturday. $30 cover. Usual routine: security gives a light patdown, waves a wand like they’re blessing you, then you shuffle through a metal detector. Same dungeon lighting, same vaguely sticky ambiance.…
Apr 21, 2025, 3:41 PM





















