Posts by reverendhornibastard

This is a common mistake. I’ve made it repeatedly. For most men it’s almost a reflex. “Nobody messes with my woman (or women)!” The average guy’s attitude is, “she remains mine until I say otherwise!” It really doesn’t matter whether you…

I can’t remember who it was, but someone said the best test of a man’s character is to shower him with good fortune. I was tested in this way. I flunked the test with flying colors. I think…

The company’s security department always counseled that if we were ever confronted by muggers, we should cooperatively hand over our wallets, watches and cellphones. “NEVER put up a fight,” we were told. “It’s not worth it. Your muggers are likely…

I met Putri (pronounced “Pooh-tree”) in 1996. She was standing alone late at night in front of a disreputable bar in an even more disreputable part of Jakarta. Putri looked out of place. She appeared frightened, bordering on frantic. I…

I don’t consider myself an exceptional male specimen. I am not exceptionally tall. I am not unusually handsome. I’m certainly not memorably suave, debonair or romantic. My pecker is, so far as I know, of average…

I know of four instances where I was nearly killed or at least where I could have been badly injured. I wonder how many other close calls I’ve experienced without ever realizing it. 1. Bombing at the J.W. Marriott -…

I just completed another vacation with Mrs. Hornibastard #3 and our two low center of gravity mooches with deplorable personal hygiene habits. This time we stayed in the USA so there was precious little dysentery and no nude frolics in…

My twins have each owned their own iPads since they were 4 years old. It will come as no surprise to you that they have each become adept at using their iPads over the last 6 years. Surprisingly, using…

I don’t consider myself terribly picky about women, but I do have standards. Some qualities (or lack thereof) can absolutely kill my budding interest in an otherwise attractive woman. STUPIDITY: I don’t care how sexy a girl is,…

I have known many, many poor people. After 15 years living in developing and third world countries (Indonesia and Angola) and 20+ years traveling frequently to many other destinations that our deeply sensitive leader, President Turdbucket, calls “shit-hole countries,” (Pakistan,…

I’m rich. Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and all of the rich and famous people you’ve ever heard of wouldn’t consider me rich. Compared to them, I’m very poor. But viewed from the perspective of the choice-limited, chronically cash-strapped circumstances my…

When my twins were still in strollers and we were living in Singapore, if we were out shopping or just out for a walk on Orchard Road, Mrs. Hornibastard #3 often took our daughter in one stroller and I took…