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13 years ago
Laser Hair RemovalAnd $2000 over the course of years (even with a maintenance treatment once a year) still works out to be cheaper (and probably less painful) than waxing. Don't forget that for her it was also a bonefied business expense and tax deductable.
Actually, thanks for posting this. I was lucky enough to find a depilatory that does not irritate but this would be a great longer-term solution.
Obviously -mrs m00t
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13 years ago
I like the way this guy thinks.This is mrs m00t....
1) Kudos for a well-written and thought out article. This is unfortunately a rarity today, especially in the media.
2) Amen
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13 years ago
Guide to get you want at strip clubs without surprises and disappointmentsLOL I sure as hell don't know where you are clubbing on $80. At every club we have been to, in at least 4 different states, $80 gets you two drinks and maybe one lapper with shitty tips. And if you try tipping $5 in the Chicagoland, you will be laughed out of the joint. The only time that is an appropriate amount is for the waitress who brings a round of drinks.
Do tell where you are clubbing - we will visit there and they will think Santa came back to town waaaaaay early.
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13 years ago
what has been the best air dance of your life ?Agrees with DandyDan. We experienced the haughty air dances from the Admiral ladies at XXXotica a couple of years ago. We then chose to visit a different club because we did not want to pay Chicago rates for parking. End result - a much better experience at cheaper the $. Now we see no reason to go to the Admiral even though it is in a nice historical building which we like.
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13 years ago
whats the most expenive H.J. of your life ?My first marriage. Still paying for it in emotional baggage. Should have known when a handjob was all I got after an extended oral session. Year later was not even that.....which is partially why I am now married to MRS M00tpoint.
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13 years ago
Verbally Attacked By A Dancer...and I do know how to spell losers. Just can't type. :-)
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13 years ago
Verbally Attacked By A DancerOh, and couple #3 left immediately after. As they were leaving they stopped by our table and said they saw the whole thing and had been thinking about getting some dances from her since she was couple-friendly until they saw what happened with us.
Funny thing was that if she had offered a dance or set we might have gone for that. We NEVER do VIP right off the bat with a dancer from whom we have not had at least three lap dances.
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13 years ago
Verbally Attacked By A DancerThis is mrs m00tpoint. We let it be known that we do our dances as couples except for the limited number of times that I buy a dance set for my hubby. Our fav club (Club O in Harvey) regular ladies know this. One night we were sitting in VIP as we always do and were one of three couples who happened to be in VIP. One couple was sitting with a dancer and had been for quite some time. Suddenly, out of the blue, she leaves their table and comes over to offer us a dance. We were waiting for our ATF and told her so politely and declined. She immediately became high pressure promising all sorts of female/female interaction that would most definitely be called "extras." Anyone know knows us knows we do not seek extras in the club but are not shy about pushing the boundaries a bit if all is right while in the setting. Again we declined and she returned to the couple at the table. Within 5 minutes this couple was standing at our table trying to persuade us to go to VIP with her "because she was great." We again respectfully declined and said we had two dancers who were regulars for us and we prefered to wait for one of them but thanked them for the info in case one of them was not in at some time. Let me add that we would be very unlikely to pick this particular dancer anyway because physically she was not our type at all. (OK, MY type. My hubby is more open in his physical preferences.) Within another 10 min of their departure she was back. When we told her flat out we would not be getting a dance from her and he stomped her foot, called us loosers and said we did not know how to have a good time.
The sweet part is that the bouncer witnessed her last interaction and we have not seen her since.
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...If he had only asked for an referral I don't think my wife would have even bothered to respond. But, when one asks "Is it so wrong" as a title, he is welcoming discussion. I guess he posted here because he thought he would get pretty close to unanimous support to go for it and got a surprise.
m00tpoint
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...Tx - yes, yes it is. :-)
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...Tx - yes, yes it is. :-)
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...LL -
First of all, if you thought my joking comment about the name calling was directed at you, I apologize. We may not always agree on things but usually you do not revert to childish name-calling.
Second, I agree that there is no one-size-fits-all answer for every couple. There will always be exceptions. There are two sides to every story and the truth usually lies someewhere in the middle of the two perceptions. We certainly have found that once things begin going badly each person is hurt, angry or simply does not recognize that the other person is probably feeling the same sort of things. Our defence mechanisms kick in and we start building walls to protect ourselves. It is human nature.
Maybe your situation is an exception, LL. I don't presume to know. What I do know is that I would certainly not stay in a marriage as you describe. If that truly is an accurate description (and I am not questioning your interpretation of it) then the woman you are married to is a selfish, childish and manipulative woman. Presumably the two of you cared about each other when you married. Perhaps she is a woman who, for whatever reason, sees sex as only for procreation. Maybe her mother was a crappy mother and she feels she must be a better one than she received. Again, I don't know. But I would sure as hell being telling her that we were going to get some counseling to find out. And if she refused to go, I would tell her the marriage was over.
That will probably shock my husband since he knows how much I abhore divorce. However, marriage is a partnership and one who refuses to allow intimacy (and yes, I understand sex is not the only way to be intimate but I simply cannot see a woman being intimate on any level with a man she treats as such) is not in a marriage at all in my book. It is a business arrangment. Maybe you could find a housekeeper who was interested in fringe benefits. Seems like that is more than you are getting now.
mrs m00tpoint
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...Gosh, with all the name calling and bitchy comments, one would think this is a ladies' forum.
LL - I have yet to meet a woman who "takes delight in knowing her husband can't get anything." This is mrs m00tpoint and for over 5 years I worked in a call center with over 300 women. I heard A LOT about their sex lives (believe me, women talk more about it than men do at work) and I never ever heard a single woman crowing about "having no interest in sex." Instead, what I routinely heard were, "Why isn't my husband interested in being with me any more?", a general lack of willingness of husband to perform oral, complaints about a husband who did not talk all evening and then expected sex that night, "Why does my husband jerk off in the shower when we haven't had sex for three weeks?" and a total lack of romance in their relationship. On the other hand, I also heard women saying (with a wink) "I am glad I got a close parking space because I am sore from last night", that they bought a special outfit at Lover's Lane for a weekend away, they wished they had more time off work so they could take their husband somewhere special because he works so hard and "My husband gives great back rubs. They always make me relax and I can enjoy the sex better."
Does it occur to anyone that if we sat down and talked with our SO about what we value, need and want that the desire to seek attentions elsewhere would be significantly reduced and that questions such as this would be a lot less commonplace?
mrs m00tpoint
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...AMEN Stiletto!
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...First of all, electronman, evolution simply means "a change over time." From a purely scientific standpoint, there are animals that practice sexual exclusivity and animals that do not. For those who believe the evolution theory of human life, apes fall into both groups. In circumstances where they can carry on the line by producing offspring, studies have shown they remain faithful. Where the environment indicates they cannot reproduce, or in circumstances where the male needs to offer protection to more than one female, they are usually not. Sound familiar?
I submit the same is true in human marriages. Where it truly is a GOOD marriage - the parties feel safe, secure and value each other, they seek physical closeness with each other and work together to ensure that nothing erodes that.
"people have different biological needs for food, liquid, sleep, heat and cold. We respect those different biological needs and they seldom form the basis for a marriage break up as long as one person's interest in that biological need does not infringe on the other person's rights or well being. Why should sex be any different?"
How does he know at this point what will undermine his marriage? He won't talk to his wife about it. So, from her perspective, it is not obviously a problem for him. Until he gets over his reluctance to talk about it, he should not engage is such acts. Period.
Talking generally about sex is not the same as saying, "I love you. I value our marriage and that is why I want to talk to you about this. I am feeling very aroused a lot of the time. I don't want to cheat but I really feel like I need more sex. What can we do about that?"
And, smokeshopjoe, NO "most men" do NOT cheat. In fact, numerous studies have shown that both men and women consistently over-estimate the number of married peope cheating. The mot recent CNBC pole done (accurate to 97%) says, "The reality is it's not as rampant as we think, with 28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women admitting to having a sexual liaison". The guestimates of the survey participants came in significantly higher at 58% of men believing other men cheated and 38% of women believing their counterparts cheated. That clearly is a minority not MOST.
Bottom line: those who personally cheat want to believe others do so because it helps assuage their guilt and make them feel it is acceptable.
I stand by my response. You don't know if it is "cheating" or not until you sit down and have an honest and respectful conversation with your wife.
mrs m00tpoint
Oh, and for the record, I believe my husband would actually be much harder line than I am on this. He would say the lap dances are cheating if your wife does not know you are getting them.
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...Actually, mmdv26, you hit on a very valid point. Intimacy is not sex. And, yes, the wife probably does have some pre-existing issues but it also could simply be that the sex they do have is not the type she prefers/needs and she does not have enough experience to know it. Regardless, her current marriage seems to have done nothing to foster a desire to have more sex or better sex. I suspect neither of you really knows how the other feels.
One other thought, I personally use sex sometimes when I am nerved up or need to relax. Perhaps part of the frequent urge is a self-medication to control anxiety, calm down or simply because you don't like being alone.
Anyway, I think it is apparent from your last posts that what you are really seeking isn't honesty and advice but someone to tell you that your wanting to cheat is justified. I won't do that. But probably not for the reason you think. I won't do that because sex without the emotional connection is just sex - physical release. You can do that on your own without cheating. You have a shot at having the whole wonderful thing - sex and the intimacy - with your wife. Why would anyone settle for second best when they have a chance at the full monty? I would never advise that. Second when first place is possible is just not an option for me.
I really don't think you are being honest with yourself about what you want and why you want it.
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...I disagree that you have a good marriage if you can go weeks and weeks without sex. Apparently you do too or you would not be seeking it elsewhere. Sounds to me like you opted for a business relationship. If that is the case, then you still should talk to her. Perhaps she will tell you to do what you want as long as it is on the down-low. Perhaps not. At least it would be a place to start.
Also, have you ever thought about the fact that maybe she doesn't feel sexy because you have never really helped her to feel that way? If you "like sex so much more than she does" as her husband it is part of your responsibility to help her find out why and change it.
Why should she give you a "sign?" I had a total hysterectomy three years ago. I did not feel sexy for a whole year. Do you think I did not find ways to be intimate with my husband even when I did not feel like sex? Honestly, it was damn hard work that ended in tears a lot of nights but my husband NEVER went without. And he never let me feel like less of a woman for the times I felt nothing. It took a whole year for us working at it until my body completely healed and things were back to more even keel. And it was worth every step of the way and I can tell you it strengthened my marriage and the respect we had for each other.
Good grief! No one feels sexy all the time. If nothing works for her, I say you are part of the problem too. It is a BOTH of you issue not a YOUR issue. Looking for sex outside of your marriage is the easy way out.
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13 years ago
Is it so wrong...You are going to get both sides of the aisle here. What I am going to say to you is what you probably don't want to hear. If you believe it is wrong - which I think from the tone of your post you do - then it is wrong. Likewise, if your wife would think it is wrong, then it is wrong also. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. That means that you trust each other enough to talk about things like this.
Have you tried talking to your wife about how hard it is for you to be on the road and away from her so much? If not, I suggest you do that. For all you know, she may be finding it as difficult as you. I assume by "being on the road" you mean you are not home for nights upon end and maybe just home weekends. Have you considered that you and your wife can be intimate even though you are not in the same physical place? When my husband was in Amsterdam for work we had phone sex. (And, when I got to Amsterdam ten days later we walked through the red light district together since that was something we discussed beforehand as being off limits until it was both of us.)
Whether you consider yourself the "cheating type" or not (IS there one type? I don't think so.) does not really matter as you clearly ARE considering having sex outside of your marriage or you would not have posted here. And, yes, most women would consider a BJ, even a partial one, as cheating.
You don't list your age. Nor can we really know what "all the time" means to you. Since you clearly can focus well enough to have and keep a job, that is not "all the time" in my book. I personally think about something sexy every 15-20 minutes. Does not mean that I want to have sex that often. Maybe you just need to learn to allow yourself to be sexual and think or feel sexy things without being ashamed or believing it always has to have an ending.
Anyway, mrs m00tpoint's sofa is closed for the day. Turn a copy of your insurance card in at the desk and sit down and talk to your wife.
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13 years ago
Typical viewpoint of a female investigative journalist?GMD - Agree absolutely!
Dudester - interesting about Houston. That is not the case here in Chicago. It is 50/50 here. I just checked. Doubly interesting is that here in Chicago they are also 50% Latino. And, I am certain with the exception of FOX, 100% Democrats. LOL
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13 years ago
Hot for Teacher Bill.Deogol, sorry but I don't understand your post. Are you trying to say that you believe there is double-speak and the same person would be considered an adult if they were being prosecuted as opposed to them being the "victim?" Or am I missing your point?
Alucard,the job DOES matter. I don't think anyone here is going to say they think it is a good idea or right for a HIGH SCHOOL teacher to have sex with a student. And at least most universities here have rules about teachers being involved with their students as it is. My uncle is a linguistics professor at UIC and I know for a fact that there is a condition of employment that says he can't date or engage in relations with any of HIS students. And that is at the college level where one would hope both persons involved would be able to be considered legal adults. Same as police officers, doctors and ministers.
GMD, to my knowledge the majority of policies here in IL have to do with college professors and their students. Most colleges also will not allow a professor to have their child or spouse as a student. So, no, the likelihood of that being an issue is not a reality. Can't speak to other states but even workplaces with a no-dating policy usually allow the parties to go before a board of review and explain their situation for an exception.
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13 years ago
Hot for Teacher Bill.This is mrs m00tpoint. My first major was special education. I think there is a little known fact out there that sheds some interesting light on this topic. In IL, where the age of majority is 18 as it is in most states, a minor cannot have consentual sex. In other words, if a girl (or guy) is less than 18, there is no way anyone (teacher, other student, etc) has ANY protection even if they say yes. All they have to do is change their mind later, get mad because they get dumped or just decide they want to make trouble and their parents can legally press charges. That is why I always taught my special education girls and guys that under 18 was a really bad decision.
So, point one: It is not just illegal for teachers to have sex under the age of majority it is really anyone.
Now, of course, we all know that both sexes under 18 DO have sex and not just with each other. We also know that there certainly have been cases of persons having sex with individuals who did not have the mental capacity to understand what was happening. In that case, regardless of chronological age, the person cannot give legal consent because they don't understand the implications. Gray hair does not equal being an adult. Anyone who will tell you it does has simply spent no time with persons who have emotional or mental disabilities. The law defines an adult as someone who has the ability to discern between right and wrong and understand the implications of their actions. I had a studenet in my classroom once with Fragile X syndrome. Every year he got older but regressed in cognitive and emotional abilities. Should the fact that he is now 27 mean someone should have sex with what is essentially now a three year old in an "adult male" body? I don't think anyone here would think that is right.
I agree that big government is not the answer. However, I don't think this law would equal big government if passed. In fact, it would make it easier to prosecute those who break the spirit of the laws already in place thereby providing a better and more timely use of the already allocated resources. Yes, I am a republican. About as conservative as one can get. However, there are far worse things to be spending time railing against than this proposed law. Want to have a bitch session or talk about really eroding rights, then let's discuss mandatory health care, more taxes on small businesses and trying to spend one's way out of debt. What pisses me off is that legislatures across the country are spending time on things like this when there are every day issues that impact a far greater majority of people that could really makea difference and need looked at.
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13 years ago
Favorite Bottle for BYOB clubsI bring Patron as it is my wife's favorite and makes her clothes more likely to come off. Which is really strange because she never used to like tequilla at all. But, we woud both rather pass it up for a great Belgian beer so that is usually what we bring.
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13 years ago
Typical viewpoint of a female investigative journalist?oh, and that wasn't 80 yrs ago. LOL
I think our local stations in Chicago at least are still mainly male driven. Not that their NEWS is any more accurate or different.....
Maybe it is a case of the target audience has changed?
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13 years ago
Typical viewpoint of a female investigative journalist?You don't get any hard NEWS at all, Dudester. Remember Dan Rather? He was not female. Even what is presented as news is so laden with opinion that it is sickening.
Curious as to where you get your "pretty much every single newsroom has been taken over by females" comment. Are you in the industry? My dad used to work at a local television station (he was a communicatons specialist in the Navy before he re-upped after a brief hiatus) and at least then it was a predominantly male field.
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13 years ago
Breasts In The Night SkyFarmerart, I am jealous that you could just walk out and see stars! Here we are too close to city lights to see much of anything regardless of how clear the sky.