Comments by FONDL (page 2)

Red wine

For the past 2 weeks I've been re-reading my collection of Bill Pronzini's "Nameless Detective" series. Prior to that I read the lastest novels of Laurie King and James Lee Burke and a recent one by Sue Grafton. Prior to that I re-read all of the Randy Wayne White "Doc Ford" books. Needless to say I enjoy mysteries. I've been re-reading all of my favorite authors this year. It's interesting to read a series back-to-back and in order - a good series is very much a continuing story which you miss when you only read one a year as they come out. And Pronzini and White have written 2 of the best.

Looks like some of us can't even be quiet about being quiet. LOL. OK, let's all think up a new stripper-related topic that has never before been discussed here.

Shadowcat, I can't figure out what you're upset about. Maybe there are some posts that I haven't seen (I have several people on ignore) but this thread, including your first post, doesn't make any sense to me. In any event, let me assure you that if you ever met Wondergirl you'd never call her a bitch, she's about as far removed from that as any girl I've ever met.

Seems to me that to ask your question is to answer it. You obviously think you're spending too much. So find yourself a cheaper club and avoid the overpriced ones.

Here's the formula I used to not spend too much: (1) Don't go very often - make clubbing a special occasion. (2) Limit how much money you take and NEVER use the ATM. (3) Avoid clubs that are over priced. (4) Don't buy private dances unless you meet that special girl who really turns you on, which should be a pretty rare event. (5) Don't drink very much when clubbing, alcohol clouds your judgment. I like to drink as much as the next guy, but to me clubbing and drinking are 2 separate and mutually exclusive events.

It's the old double standard - when an R does something like this he is condemned as the phony that he is by everyone including members of his own party, but when a D does it we're all supposed to forgive and forget. Bullshit. The man has proven that he has no morals, ethics or character. AN is right.

There haven't been any interesting topics in a long time. Maybe we've already said everything there is to say about strip clubs. Maybe we should take a break and leave the board to the flame throwers. That's what I've been doing.

I don't recall ever seeing a hot female customer in a club. The few I've seen always looked pretty butch. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I don't see why it matters. Who cares whether you're with a single gal bitching about her jerkoff BF or a married one bitching about her husband? They never seem to be getting along with whoever they're with and they always seem to on the verge of making a change. My preference has always been for a girl who wasn't in a relationship at all, but you don't find too many of those out there. Maybe that's one of the reasons I liked my ATF so much when we met - she waasn't with anyone, just an unattached party girl having fun.

I don't know of any Waffle Houses in southeastern PA. There are some nearby in Maryland though. And I agree with everything AN has said about Starbucks. You used to be able to go most anywhere, walk up to the counter and get a good cup of coffee for 50 cents or so without standing in line. Now almost everywhere you go you have to stand in line for 10-15 minutes while they make all these weird time-consuming overpriced special drinks and when you finally get to the head of the line you get to pay 2 bucks or so for a bad cup of coffee. And then there's no place to sit because the jerks who bought those overpriced fancy drinks think that gives them the right to sit there all day long with their computers. I'll be glad when all the Starbucks pack up and go back to the West Coast, then everywhere else can go back to serving real coffee at reasonable prices. I can never undeerstand why anyone anywhere ever sets foot in a Starbucks. Give me Dunkin Donuts any day - they're faster, better, cheaper and less crowded.

Lopaw, I share some of your frustrations with the present administration. But I think historians will look pretty kindly on President Bush. When the history of the first half of the 21st century is written I think it will focus on two dominant themes - the continued breakdown of civil society and the spread of international terrorism. And I think President Bush will likely look pretty good on both those issues compared to his successors. Which to me is partty scary.

Book Guy, I once wrote a poem about this which I called Emo and the Rat. It was about letting my emotional side (aka my inner child) out to play but making sure that my rational side remained firmly in control in the background. It's one of the reasons that I stopped drinking much when clubbing, because alcohol numbs that rational side and allows the emotional side too much freedom. Think of it as left brain - right brain. When I'm in a club, I let my right brain dominate because I enjoy it more that way - in fact to me that's always been the whole point of going to a strip club. But I don't turn off the left brain, it's always in the background monitoring what's going on. I happen to be unusual in that I'm right brain dominate (most straight men are the opposite) but I also have a strong left brain (eg. I'm an engineer) so I'm probably more sensitive to this kind of stuff than most guys are. I'm sure some of you left brain dominate people think this is all nonsense.

I don't think you can separate the two - I think drug use and prostitution in clubs are closely related. The more you have of one, the more you are likely to have of the other in any given club.

Polarman says, "it is not lying if you do not tell her every detail of everything you do." I agree but I also think it's largely irrelevant. It's not what you tell someone that counts, it's what you do in the first place. All of us married men made promises and took vows of one sort or another - the question is do you honor them or not? Do you honor the trust that others place in you or do you betray that trust? When you look in the mirror, do you see someone of good character or not? IMO the most dangerous lies are those we tell ourselves.

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone here that I disagree with Chandler on this one. I think it's possible to have 2 separate and parallel relationships with a girl - one professional and one personal. It won't happen very often but I think it happens. Some of these girls are very good at maintaining two totally separate lives, and it's possible to become a part of both. But I do agree with his point about being consumed by emotions - you shold never allow that to happen. Some emotional involvement adds to the fun, but to allow yourself to be consumed by them is dumb.

Ozy, I don't think there is one "best" strategy. It depends on the girl and where she works. I've seen very different strategies work really well for different girls. I also think different girls have different objectives, very few are out to maximize their income, just like very few of us are.

Rootman, there's nothing wrong with having some emotional attachment. A relationship is usually pretty boring without it, it adds spice.

I think most clubs treat drugs use and prostitution pretty much the same - they know they're going to occur, that they're part of the strip club culture, but they try to maintain some contol so that it isn't too blatant. Either one is likely to get the club shut down if it's done too openly. But both are good for business if done discretely and kept under control.

Arbeeguy, congratulatons. I thought I was the oldest fart here. I bow to your superior wisdom.

Wondergirl, I don't think I've ever seen that movie. Maybe I should sometime. Anyway this took place in a tiny hole-in-the-wall club with absolutely no glitz, just a bunch of young girls basically partying, which is my kinda place. So I doubt if there would be much resemblance to the movie. She was 20 at the time.

Eleven years ago I was just her best customer. I don't know when that changed but today she's the closest friend I've ever had. The affection is real.

My favorite line was "Hi, my name's -----, what's yours?" That's the first thing my ATF ever said to me. She was onstage dancing at the time and as I stepped up to give her a tip, she stopped dancing and stuck out her hand to shake. And except for her tall shoes, a chain around her waist, and the nicest smile I've ever seen, she was totally naked. That was 11 years ago on July 2 and I remember it as if it were yesterday. See what I mean about pleasant memories? I met a pretty Funny Girl dancing in tall shoes she smiled a smile that said hello and chased away my blues. Smile for me ... remember me and smile.

Some of you probably wonder why I still spend time posting on this site. Simple - it brings back pleasant memories.

I'm 68 and don't exactly remember my first strip club visit. I think it was when I was in the navy in the mid-1960s whan a buddy took me to Boston's old Combat Zone. After I started working and traveling on business I too added strip clubs to my evening entertainment (back in the days before laptops and cel phones etc. when guys traveling on business actually got to have some free time in the evenings.) It was an occasional thing until I started visiting the same city every week and met my ATF, then it became a weekly event for about 2 years. When she quit dancing 10 years ago I began to lose interest, and since I retired I rarely have the chance or the interest to go to strip clubs anymore. Now I get massages instead (the legitimate kind) - I find it to be just as enjoyable and a whole lot cheaper.