Homer Simpson
Comments by Homer Simpson
discussion comment
21 years ago
Clean and Sober
Well I know of 3 different strippers who DO have at least 2 kids from different fathers. As a matter of fact this one girl has 2 daughters - one black and one white.
The black girl's father was arrested last year for "pimping" and the white girl's dad is a known drug dealer. Just goes to show you that some of these stripper's have great taste in men.
discussion comment
21 years ago
niceass
Hey! niceass! glad to see that you're still here!
discussion comment
21 years ago
JimJazz
PLEASE!! Do NOT date a dancer!
I know personally that it will NEVER work out!
As you all know that dancers will ALWAYS have multiple sexual partners both male & female. Also your bank account will slowly disappear...... Trust me get an escourt - it's 10 times cheaper than going out with a dancer.
discussion comment
21 years ago
Kingpin
Actually I've gotten A LOT of sexual pleasure in Montreal & Toronto strip clubs! Here is a list of "favors" I've received for only $10.00 bucks:
1)Hand Job.
2)Blow Job.
3)Tit Suck.
4)Lap Dance.
5)Kissing on lips - which I refused, since I didn't know her.
6)Heavy Petting.
7)Sexual Hugs all over.
8)Tried to give me "face" but alas I refused again - I've got to know her.
9)Had 2 well known Porn Stars dance for me at the same time (Debi Diamond and Barbra Dare.
10)Offered penatration with condom - again refused since I didn't know her.
So NOT all strip clubs are rip-offs.
discussion comment
21 years ago
JungleMan
Take your buddy to Montreal, for a great sexual time.
Almost all the girls who work at the strip clubs here will do ANYTHING for $10.00! Give them $20.00 and they WILL perform sexual hardcore favors. Trust me.....
But PLEASE don't ask them out for dates, thats when it becomes a WASTE of time. For late hour fun just call an escort - should only cost you $160.00 Canadian money for 90 minutes.
discussion comment
21 years ago
Toplessdancer
Toplessdancer asked - "Do certain customers have a problem with a girl's trade"? - ANSWER: No! ALL men NEED strippers!
Question #2 - "Have you ever been hurt by one or two strippers"? - ANSWER: No, however I have been "ripped off" by them while they were in their "druken state".
Question #3 - "Have you ever been to a stip club"? - ANSWER: Yes! Since the tender age of 17.
Question # 4 - "Why do some of you men hate us"? - ANSWER: No man hates a stripper, sometimes they just get a little pissed off at them when they bother you all night long for free drinks.
Now, IF I may I'd like to ask YOU Toplessdancer a few questions.
Question # 1 - You stated that you "tend to pick customers over others" - Why? Are you looking for a "old fart sugar daddy"?
Question # 2 - You stated that "due to many bad experiences you've encountered" that you dont trust men?
Were you ever asked to perform a sexual or fetish act to a customer?
Question # 3 - Do you hate men? The reason why I'm asking this question is due to the fact that many dancers have told me that they were abused by their fathers, uncles and priests!! Any truth to that? Or is this some sort of "stripper folklore tale"??
Question # 4 - Do you feel working at a strip club may have turned you against society or turned you into a bisexual?
Hope these questions weren't too hard - if you'll answer them at all.....
discussion comment
21 years ago
Kingpin
I tell ya Kingpin, I DO enjoy your posts! Ladies and wannabee customer boyfriends please keep on mind that NO MALE who has the courage to express his opinion is a "hater". We ALL love to go to strip clubs for a "quick fix". Now over the years I've seen some friends of mine actually falling in love with dancers! - think the term you ladies use is "mark". Now thats cool to each his/her own. As a matter of fact I've spoken to many dancers and they admitted that they have a certain dislike for "regulars" or men in general. The point I'm trying to express here is that never take a night out at the club too seriously. Just enjoy the ride.
Oh! and Kingpin you forgot 3 more "dancer lines" in your previous post - they are:
1)"I'm only doing this job cause I love people and dancing". TRANSLATION: "I'm really doing this job to support my drug addicted boyfriend and my drug habit too".
2)"I can only dance and have fun is when I'm drunk"
TRANSLATION: "I can't control my substance abuse problem".
3)"I never do $10.00 contact dances" - TRANSLATION: "Yes I do but it's $20.00 a dance".
You know if everyone on this board would be more honest then MAYBE we can all learn something.
I'm not putting down people like Yoda, Lover, Wiseguy or Toplessdancer just stating my lousy 2 cents.
discussion comment
21 years ago
JimJazz
Kingpin - open up a strip club in the Montreal area.
Many French girls here are willing to do anything for money! NO BS....
discussion comment
21 years ago
Homer Simpson
Okay niceass, here is a TRUE story from the Montreal Daily News 01/11/04 - this true story is also dedicated to J23 - here we go:
"Stripper's Revenge" - By. Scott Saxon.
Virgilio Maldonado first noticed the trail of blood the moment he arrived for work at an Alton, Texas construction site.
Maldonado followed the trail to a machete lying next to a detached penis!!
"I thought maybe it was people hunting and that it was part of a rabbit", Maldonado said. Then his son came along and told his dad exactly what they were looking at.
About the same time Maldonado made his find, a man bleeding from his groin stumbled into the Alton Police Department. He was rushed to hospital.
As Virgilio Maldonado was flalling down a passing cruiser, doctors were calling the police station to ask if anyone had found a penis recently!!!
The penis was brought over to the waiting doctors, and re-fastened to poor Oscar Hernandez, its rightful owner.
According to police, Hernandez was at a strip club with his favorite dancer that he had known for 3 years. It seems that Hernandez was short of $ 40.00 out of his usual $300.00 fee paid to Lise Hartwell aka "Jill". The dancer was so angry that Hernadez didn't pay her the full amount, she chased him outside holding a machete that was already in her purse!! And the rest is history.
"Jill" the stripper was arrested for "Attempted Murder". Her trial is set to begin on Feb.24/2004
discussion comment
21 years ago
Homer Simpson
Hey niceass!
It's very comforting to see a familar poster on this ever changing board. And not to mention Yoda & Kingpin.
Just one big happy family........
discussion comment
21 years ago
niceass
I love it! Great article!
One thing for sure - looks like those people are REALLY "in the crapper"!!
But all kidding aside niceass, the reason for my absance on the board these past couple of months was just plain boredom on my part. In other words I need a change in my personal life. So quit my present job, got a new job, got married, went to Africa to save the elephants, joined the Peace Corps and became a "Born Again Christian".........NOT! HAHAHAHAAAA!! BUT really just took some time off to regroup and enjoy life in general. Thats all......
discussion comment
21 years ago
niceass
You know niceass, I once saw a restuarant sign in Spartanburg, SC. It said "Nothing says Thai Food like "Hung Thong"!
Eat at Thung? Either way, I'm not going near the buffet.
discussion comment
21 years ago
Homer Simpson
And please don't forget 'disenhorny"!!
Speaking about horny niceass - "Why did the stripper have lipstick all over the steering wheel"? Answer:
"She tried to blow the horn"..........
discussion comment
21 years ago
Aceshigh
Jesus Christ! I can't believe you guys!
Here I'll make very simple:
1)Pick the girl you want.
2)Go to the VIP section or booth.
3)Get as many dances as you want or afford.
4)Pay her.
5)Then leave.
Trust me I'm sure she can make it on her own while walking back to the stage area. As for 'lap dances' - it depends which area or country you live in, certain States have different laws or rules. I'm sure that even Mr. self-rightious niceass would agree, if he can 'free' himself with all the free porn he has on Net File.
discussion comment
21 years ago
Homer Simpson
As always J23 you've proven to everyone that you're a "class act". The 'only' Hell for me would be a visit to your club and watch your stage show. As far as little Dexter is concerned thats HIS problem. A word of advice take it easy with the "meth"......
discussion comment
21 years ago
RomanticLover
What????
You would NOT survive the Montreal Strip Club Scene. At $10.00 a song (even if you're not in the VIP area or just plain "talking") those girls would 'clean ($$$$$) you out'
discussion comment
21 years ago
RomanticLover
Hey C&S!
Actually Quebec dancers compared to American dancers are "sharks". Tney WILL use any means possible to get you "hooked" with their mind games. However I must admit that over the years I've encountered some very sexually x-rated lap dances. These French girls WILL do anything for money, no BS. They do aim to please. Here in Montreal you have to avoid the 'smart talker' dancer and go for the 'dumb blond' with the great body and lack of education. In other words avoid J23 types. I DON'T PAY FOR CONVERSATION! Trust me with $200.00 and a drunk French stripper, you will not be dissapointed in any Montreal Strip Club.
discussion comment
21 years ago
Kingpin
You know Kingpin - you hit the nail on the head!
A LOT of these guys who post here, have this 'fantasy' about being either married to a stripper OR living with one! My God! WAKE UP!! I've had these so-called 'married strippers' dance for me, and trust me they were the most 'sluttest' dances I ever had!!
Esp. the one with the 2 kids and LAZY unempolyed husband.
And besides that SAME married stripper told me that she brings home 'other' strippers to have a threesome with with hubby. Lucky guy! it must be nice to have a wife PIMPING for him!
So please Wiseguy, do't get mad and kill me or burn my house down!
We ALL know of YOUR criminal past.
May God have mercy on your demented soul..........
discussion comment
21 years ago
JimJazz
JimJazz - Block posts??
I have a BETTER idea for you.
Instead of sitting in front of your computer & reading all the posts on TUSCL, leave your mommy's basement and GO TO A CLUB!!!!!! Never mind what brillant people like Kingpin & Mouse post - after all this IS A FREE COUNTRY!
So break open your Barbie piggy bank and go to a strip joint. TRUST me - you'll feel a lot better. Ohh.... and wash your hands before you leave.
discussion comment
21 years ago
Clean and Sober
Actually the REAL 'trolls' are Niceass, Wiseguy, Jimjazz and J23.
Personally I think they're ALL the same person....
Again people PLEASE go out to clubs and masterbating to free porn! - "you'll go blind".......
discussion comment
21 years ago
JimJazz
Ahhh come on you can do BETTER than that!
Say something dirty like "Oral Roberts".....
discussion comment
21 years ago
niceass
Actually I heard a rumor that Wiseguy now HAS this head hanging next to his other prizes like deer, goat, bear and moose heads that he MURDERED during a savage hunting trip. Oh please Wiseguy!, DON'T kill me..........
discussion comment
21 years ago
rocker1954
Wake up Rocker!!
Can't you see that she wants a "sugar daddy" or another common term "Mark".
discussion comment
21 years ago
RomanticLover
Why don't YOU report him - "TROLL"