9 comments

Strip Club "Tomatoes"!!

Jan 16, 2004, 8:19 PM

I JUST got back from my 'fave' strip club, and this NEW dancer told me this GREAT story. Here goes:

A guy walks into a strip club. he walks up to the manager and says "I need a stripper", so the manager says "alright sir, sit down and wait and I'll have one right out as soon as possible". So the guy sits down and starts eating tomatoes. The stripper comes out sees the guy eating, yells, and runs!

So he goes up to the manager and says "she yelled and ran, I need another stripper"! So the manager says "Ok please sit down and I'll have another one come in a minute". The customer sits down and starts eating tomatoes again. The second stripper comes out, yells and runs.

The customer goes back up to the manager and says "ok she yelled and ran too"! Then he says "if the next stripper yells and runs, then I'm never coming here again"! "I still need another stripper" he screams. The manager says "sorry sir, please sit down and I'll get one over here right away". The third stripper comes out, yells and runs!

The customer walks up to the manager and says "thats it I'm fucking leaving"! The manager says "well what did you do to make them all yell and run"? The customer said "all I did was sit down and eat tomatoes". The manager then says "tomatoes"???

The customer says "yeah tomatoes, the ones that were on the tray on the wall"! The manager looks down for a minute and says - "SIR THEY WEREN'T TOMATOES, THAT WAS THE WEEKLY ABORTION TRAY"!!!

Many thanks to Jenny the new dancer at the club who told me this story. Young lady your sense of humor is outstanding!!

comments (9)

Homer Simpson21 years ago

Okay niceass, here is a TRUE story from the Montreal Daily News 01/11/04 - this true story is also dedicated to J23 - here we go:

"Stripper's Revenge" - By. Scott Saxon.

Virgilio Maldonado first noticed the trail of blood the moment he arrived for work at an Alton, Texas construction site.

Maldonado followed the trail to a machete lying next to a detached penis!!

"I thought maybe it was people hunting and that it was part of a rabbit", Maldonado said. Then his son came along and told his dad exactly what they were looking at.

About the same time Maldonado made his find, a man bleeding from his groin stumbled into the Alton Police Department. He was rushed to hospital.

As Virgilio Maldonado was flalling down a passing cruiser, doctors were calling the police station to ask if anyone had found a penis recently!!!

The penis was brought over to the waiting doctors, and re-fastened to poor Oscar Hernandez, its rightful owner.

According to police, Hernandez was at a strip club with his favorite dancer that he had known for 3 years. It seems that Hernandez was short of $ 40.00 out of his usual $300.00 fee paid to Lise Hartwell aka "Jill". The dancer was so angry that Hernadez didn't pay her the full amount, she chased him outside holding a machete that was already in her purse!! And the rest is history.

"Jill" the stripper was arrested for "Attempted Murder". Her trial is set to begin on Feb.24/2004

niceass21 years ago

Homer Simpson, thatwas the sickest joke I've ever heard.

Doc_Holliday12 years ago

I guess I won't be shorting any strippers in Alton, TX...

shadowcat12 years ago

I own a machete. How the fuck do you get one inside a purse?

deogol12 years ago

There is a theory about the amount of baggage she carry's with her works both emotionally and dance wise...

JuiceBox6912 years ago

Lmfao

motorhead12 years ago

Three tomatoes are walking down the street -- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and squishes him... and says, 'Ketchup.'

Doc_Holliday12 years ago

Fox Force Five was a great show.

motorhead12 years ago

^^^

Doc :)