What if you know the dancer is in a relationship? Do you still get dances?

It did when I was a newbie. Over time, you come to realize it's a business and it's all just a fantasy. I know at one club I used to regularly visit, the married strippers gave far better service than the single or unattached ones.

You've been a member for 7 years and that still bothers you?

Don't kid yourself despite what they may tell you they're all married or in some type of a relationship The ones that aren't are BETWEEN relationships

Their SO don't care there strippers as long as they bring home the $$$ so why should you

Here's an ugly reality even if the club is non-extras some have fucked or sucked dick just prior to coming to work

Hmm, most of the customers are in relationships also. Just the way it goes. I will say that I have seen a few dancers whose significant other drives them to work and they kiss their kids goodbye before they enter into a club where extras or really good dances are about to occur. I sometimes think about that.

I seaparate my two worlds completely. Most - if not all - dancers do. My partner and I have an understanding that what happens as a part of business is exactly that... business. We can logically and emotionally set this boundary because you don't want it to overlap.

I have dated security, waitresses and bartenders... from the club... and that is one of the worst combinations possible. The two are separate physically too!

Have I ever kissed my boyfriend and then sucked another man's cock 30 minutes later? yes... if you want to be in my world, that is how it has to be...

Dating a stripper is not for everyone...

Live the illusion.... do not worry about the reality. If you want reality, have your wife do a lapdance for you.... if you want illusion, come to the club and tip me well.

I don't think like that. I'm quite content to get dances or more from strippers in relationships. I don't go into strip clubs looking to engage in romantic relationships with the girls, I go in for physical relationships.

Realistically, if you're dreaming of getting entwined into a relationship with a stripper I don't think her having a SO or not will play a significant factor. In either case, unless she's a terrible stripper, she's involved with many other guys just like you in the club. Adding one more guy she's involved with outside the club doesn't really change the odds much. They're very low in either case.

If you want to continue with the same fantasy, I can tell you that I've had a few strippers get dumped and kicked out by their boyfriends who've come and stayed here for a while. Some level of romantic intertwinement occurred in those cases, I put forth very little effort as it wasn't something I wanted, but who knows, had I tried it's possible something could have happened.

@RTP I'm pretty sure I know the dancer you observed. LOL.

Don’t care

Don't care and won't even know unless they bring it up and I cannot change the subject.

I'm in a relationship. Kiss and caress my wife every day. Makes my life good.

I like my favorite dancers. I hope they have a relationship that makes their life good.

With those thoughts out of the way, let's fondle those wonderful tits while you wriggle that sweet ass on my lap.

I don’t bring it up and try not to think about that.

If I do think about it, I realize that if they do happen to be single, they’re probably too crazy or a bad crazy/hot ratio (HImYM scale)

Also I noticed I get along way better with married women irl (their guard is down or something)

I just assume that everyone is in a relationship. I’ve never had a stripper have a problem with the fact that I’m married with grown children, so why should I care if she’s in a relationship? The reason I go to strip clubs is because I want to have a 2hr love affair in the club and then go home without any entanglements.

Never had any fantasy about being in a relationship with a dancer. If she doesn't mind giving dances, or even extras, while she is in a relationship why should I?

I have had a lot of cfs leave dancing, at least temporarily, because they got into a serious relationship and my ATF permanently left when she got engaged. To me, it should be up to the people in the relationship to decide if giving dances, or performing extras, is OK in their relationship and as I customer I just assume if she's in the club she is there to do her job and make money.

Don't care.

I'm well beyond that degree of club fantasy.

If Salma Hayek becomes a stripper, and I become her regular, yes, I might be jealous of her SO. Because I'm not so much older than her. But, I've only ever gotten dances with one stripper who wasn't too young for me. (She was older than me actually.) So (with that one exception) I couldn't be their SO even if I were single.

When you get friendly with a stripper, obviously it bothers you the stigma they face. Which can cause issues with her relationships, other work she wants to do, etc.

You should just assume that they all have SOs, lol. Because most of them do.

It doesn't bother me in the least. I have less than zero interest in dating a stripper. Been there, done that and it sucked. I'm perfectly happy paying to buy the milk that I don't have to own the whole damned cow, lmao.

And to be clear, I do a lot more than dance with my favorites. I've lost count of how many times a girl has talked about her family in the club and, a few hours later, been bent over a bed in my hotel room. Most of the time I leave a present for her to bring home. How a girl handles her marital issues are none of my concern.

They certainly can be fun!

I don't want to know about a dancer's SO or family. Often a dancer will volunteer such information, and I'm not like devastated by it, it just spoils the fun a bit. It's like, when I'm watching Game of Thrones, I don't need to know the details of how they CGI'ed the dragons, I just want to pretend like those dragons actually exist.

My CF and I have done hours ITC and recently a overnight OTC. And after all that time, I still have no idea if she has a boyfriend or kids. Nor do I want to know.

As GGB says, one has to "Live the illusion..."

🤠 I Would Just Look @ Da' Stripper Dat' She & Her Man Has Heart Ta' Share Her Body With Me!

I don't think I am communicating this correctly, this has zero at all to do with a real relationships it's that this person is invested with someone else even if they are just dating or married.

That stops my brain from even dreaming about it.

@nixsur Let me jsut say it again..

Live the illusion.... do not worry about the reality. If you want reality, have your wife do a lapdance for you.... if you want illusion, come to the club and tip well.

Doesn't deter me. In fact it can be a little bit of a turn on getting extras from a dancer that's in a relationship. Even more so if it's on the regular.

A little bit of a sidebar but I had a regular with a full menu who was in a relationship. Claimed her boyfriend loved hearing about her club exploits and got very turned on.

I'm still not understanding what your dream or fantasy is or how her relationship status interferes with that. If you're not talking about a real emotional relationship, what difference does her emotional investment in someone else make in your fantasy?

I'm not a qualified mental professional by any means, but my amateur analysis makes me think you very much are fantasizing about a genuine emotional relationship with the stripper. And it's her unavailability that destroys that fantasy for you. You're just not being honest with yourself and or us about it.

If it's purely physical, I can tell you from my pretty considerable experience that a stripper being in a relationship does little to nothing to preclude her from hooking up with customers. More often than not, the strippers I'm hooking up with have SO's. I may even prefer the ones with someone to get home too. They are somewhat more reliable in their scheduling, less apt to over stay their welcome, and every bit as enthusiastic.

^ 👍👍

my amateur analysis makes me think you very much are fantasizing about a genuine emotional relationship with the stripper

@Dolfan, I'm not the OP, but I feel very seen with this comment. Sure thing, I'm fantasizing about a genuine emotional connection. Now, the operating word here is 'fantasizing', I'm well aware the surface level that she's working and our connection only truly extends as deep as my wallet. But because it's a fantasy, I choose to pretend otherwise.

I'm not in OP's camp in that knowing a dancer has an SO would prevent me from getting dances. But, when she volunteers this information, it's definitely spoils the fun for me, at least a little bit.

It's funny for me to read comments from guys saying that hearing about a dancer's SO ruins things for them. It does the exact opposite for me, especially if he's a live-in, because it tells me that she has yet another mouth to feed. There's nothing better than a highly motivated dancer when one is exploring OTC opportunities. 😉

@ClubFan81077

Yes and Yes. Sure, they can lie but that's not the point.

@RonJax2

Exactly. It spoils the fun a little bit. It's not like I'm trying to marry every dancer I see but it'd fun to have a fling. That's a bit more difficult if there in a relationship even if they're married but still having fun on the side.

@Puddy Tat Good point.

I usually ignore @rickmacrodong's bullshit, but in this case I've got to call it out.

You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I will concede that many strippers will say they are single because they know many guys want to hear that and that Icey is full of shit, but the rest of your points are complete and total nonsense.

Strippers in relationships in my experience are substantially more likely to show up on time and ready to go for OTC engagements. If anything, they're similar ITC too, but I have almost no problems with strippers not delivering ITC so I can't say they're substantially better than single girls since there really isn't really room for them to be much better. On the odd occasion they do have to cancel, they are infinitely more likely to tell me than the single girls who think its fine to just ghost.

As far as hang ups go, again that's total nonsense. I've seen zero correlation to girls in relationships having any of the sort of limits you're talking about. If anything, again my experience is the total opposite. They'll happily kiss me all night long and I'm the one bringing up wearing condoms cause they're inclined to go raw.

That said, I'll go back to ignoring your dumb ass comments again.

attempting to being a dancer's bf/main fling is one of the hardest endeavors any man can tackle. if anything targeting the dancers that are single is going to way harder than those that are not. you could ponder to yourself, or ask the girl herself, or do both as to why she's not seeing somebody. it can range from no interest to having a rotation of 3-4 fwb side dicks.

in this hobby, while not thinking about all of this single or not nonsense, try and keep it simple. right club, right girl, right time, and the right amount of cash in your pocket.

My job is to listen to people's stupid relationship crap every fucking minute of every day. Its a boner killer at hundreds of dollars per hour. The idea I would pay to listen to it is beyong absurd.

Dolfan said "I usually ignore @rickmacrodong's bullshit, but in this case I've got to call it out.

You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

That's not news to him. He's a troll who routinely posts ridiculous points/arguments to stir shit and get attention.

And today it worked.

To get back to the root of this question, I have one other point to make.

My CF stripper, who works/worked at Hong Kong club Tijuana is passionate about the issue of human trafficking. We had a recent conversation where I was asking her whether she thought there was women being trafficked at Hong Kong. Her answer, "By the club, no, but by their boyfriends, all the time."

To hear her tell it, lots of girls are in this game because they've got a controlling significant other. I'm certain this is true of strippers in the US too.

I'm sure we can assume these are the minority of dancers with boyfriends, but they exist, and what's more, I don't know how you'd tell one from the other that easily.

Either way, for me, as soon of the topic of her boyfriend comes up, it brings out my own obnoxious inner white knight (who I recognize needs to be beat down.) This is yet another reason to avoid the topic entirely.

Why do people assumethat if a dancer has someone at home that its a guy? One of my longime dancer buds at Desires has someone at home, a lovely lady.

Man,

I'm still surprised some people still don't get what I'm saying... Like I know I'm not gonna hook up with the dancer. That's not the point, the point is that option is open doesn't matter if my odds are freaking zero. The only way I'd think differently if it's some super model that I really like, she's type with the vibe, she's a pro and does stuff on the side.

And I'm sure some assholes are terrible and pimp out their girlfriends. Guys being awful is nothing new.

If a dancer is in a relationship IT’S NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Period, end of discussion. If she chooses to share details of that relationship with me when we’re talking, fine, I’ll listen attentively. I have talked with dancers about their kids (one is a soccer mom and her tales of keeping up with her girls schedules are sometimes hilarious), but at the end of the day what she chooses to share is her business.

As @grrlgonebad points out above, she’s selling a fantasy. The only relationship I should be concerned with is the one we have for the time we spend together in the club. Take it at face value, don’t overthink it, and enjoy it while it lasts.

Maybe we should flip the question, what if the dancer knows you’re in a relationship, should she perform for you?

It doesn't matter if she is in a relationship. She is there selling dances.

It does not matter if you are in a relationship, you are there buying dances.

What matters is if she wants to dance for you, and you want to pay for dances from her.

@CMI, you're right. I bit; I fed the troll. My bad.

@nixur

Your first question was “Am I the only dude that thinks like this?”

After getting 60 responses with experienced mongers and at least one dancer telling you how they approach your factual scenario in a different way, you then say “I'm still surprised some people still don't get what I'm saying.”

They get it. You don’t seem to understand you got a shit ton of responses answering your original question “yes, you’re the only one who thinks that way.”

That said, I’ve had dancers’ relationships impact my mongering. A couple of examples. I had a long time regular who cut off our ITC activities while she was dating someone. I respected her choice and we picked up again once the the relationship flamed out. I had another semi regular who I didn’t have feelings for beyond just respecting her as person, but she’s had a hard life overcoming addictions and personal tragedy to get herself on the right track. I saw on social media that she was with a guy she loved. I stopped doing stuff with her in the club around the same time but I’m not sure the latter was a result of the former. But maybe I’m your one example of a customer letting a dancer’s relationship affect my mongering? Her real life relationship has ended but I haven’t gone back to her though I’m open to it.

I like the last comments by uniquename and 25 posted above.

I've been getting dances with my favorite for something like 8 years off and on. She's had boyfriends come and go during that time. And honestly her dances are better when she's single. They aren't bad when she's in a relationship. But she also holds something back.

@Hank Moody

I mean this in an nice way is English your first language?

Did you actually read the comments because if you do you'll find that I am not the only one that thinks that way and there some folks who think I am that guy that's secretly trying to get with dancer. For the third time I ain't but if clubs is showing their dancers on their Instagram, I see one I fancy but I find it's plastered with her SO I struggle to find that appealing.

@rickmacrodong

I'm sure it's possible but that's not my jam. To each their own though.

@twentyfive Touche, fair point.