Missing early shots
I was in Houston @ the St James last weekend and had this happen:
I ordered a beer and soon after it arrived an attractive dancer came by to see if I wanted some company. I told her that I wanted to do some window shopping before getting some dances and to come back later. She was probably the best shot I had all night, but she never came back and deliberately ignored my efforts to attract her attention the rest of the afternoon.
This happened at Joy of Austin several months ago and it was SO obvious that the dancer was later taunting me that I had missed my shot. She later danced on stage and when I went up she had me do SE on stage! I tipped her a 5 and told her I NEEDED some dances, but she never came by later even though she was trolling the room she stayed far away from me. She was clearly snubbing me for refusing her company earlier.
In a strange club it is natural to want to sit and scope things out for 20-30 minutes before pursuing dances. Maybe I should just let them sit a little while, get them to explain the club, then tell them I will DEFINITELY get some dances in 30 minutes and to please come back then ???????????? That way it is not a complete rejection and she is somewhat invested. I hate blowing these early opportunities because these dancers are often MAJOR PLAYERS.
I could use some coaching here if any of you guys or gals have ideas on how to handle this better.
Thanks
I ordered a beer and soon after it arrived an attractive dancer came by to see if I wanted some company. I told her that I wanted to do some window shopping before getting some dances and to come back later. She was probably the best shot I had all night, but she never came back and deliberately ignored my efforts to attract her attention the rest of the afternoon.
This happened at Joy of Austin several months ago and it was SO obvious that the dancer was later taunting me that I had missed my shot. She later danced on stage and when I went up she had me do SE on stage! I tipped her a 5 and told her I NEEDED some dances, but she never came by later even though she was trolling the room she stayed far away from me. She was clearly snubbing me for refusing her company earlier.
In a strange club it is natural to want to sit and scope things out for 20-30 minutes before pursuing dances. Maybe I should just let them sit a little while, get them to explain the club, then tell them I will DEFINITELY get some dances in 30 minutes and to please come back then ???????????? That way it is not a complete rejection and she is somewhat invested. I hate blowing these early opportunities because these dancers are often MAJOR PLAYERS.
I could use some coaching here if any of you guys or gals have ideas on how to handle this better.
Thanks
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16 comments
I remember a couple of years ago in Bare Elegance out near LAX, where all of the girls were of Model-type looks, so that wasn't a problem. However, the first dancer I spent time with provided ultra-high mileage. I made the mistake of thinking that this level of mileage was typical of the club. In reality, every girl I spent time with after that provided progressively less mileage. If I had known that, I would have seen girl 1 as the whole meal, rather than just an appetizer. (Fortunately, I've had evenings that went the other way).
In any event, since you lack the qualities of the diety--omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence--I doubt there is any way to avoid the situation that you described, other than time-consuming, painstaking experience of getting to know that club's dancers over time. Hopefully you'll be up for the task.
Good luck!
The moral of the story... if you are at least a little interested in her for later... don't burn any bridges. Don't just say "maybe later"... or "not right now, I'm just settling in"... or anything along those lines. Make it clear that you ARE interested.
In your case, I would have ignored snubbing dancer, and moved on(to other dancer, or club). If she treats you like crap on the floor, how's she gonna treat you in the VIP?
When dancer 1st approached you, did you basically get good vibes? One suggestion: Say to dancer: "I'm not ready for dances yet, you're very attractive, I appreciate you coming by, where shall I place my tip"? Ball in her court now; There are sultry, sexy, nasty, greedy, and bitchy ways to respond to that & take tip. This is a chance to gauge her. One dancer that provided "assistance & guidance" to tip got a dance right away, those who merely hold out hand or grab tip don't get any further attention from me.
Other than that, I've definitely missed some early opps but there have also been two distinct times I remember that at the end of the night the last dance I had ended up being the girl I wished I spent the whole night with but was at the end of my funds. It's pretty much like gambling...it's not until the end of the night that you find out if you came out on top or in the hole from those choices.
Of course, with my favorites, that is never a problem. I just say "Save me a dance" and they respond with "I'll save you two".
What bugs me, though, is a very similar situation, and I don't think the women really know that it can happen this way.
I REALLY dislike it, when I tell a hot girl, "Come back later" in some manner, and she takes it as a total rejection. If I mean later, I say later. But sometimes when you talk with a girl, she has this thing in her head about how the guy "has to" want her now and really RIGHT now, or he isn't "playing right." So the word gets out that I've rejected two or three girls, just because I've walked in the door ten seconds ago and I can't even see through the dark, yet; and next thing I know, nobody's approaching me all night long because "he's a jerk who'll say 'no' no matter how hot he thinks you are." Girls love to over-dramatize like that. So, when I DO say "later please" I try to make clear that I mean it, and that I'm not just using that as a euphemism for "no thank you." I'll tell a girl I'm not rejecting her; give her five minutes of conversation and a free drink, if I'm hot enough for her but don't want to take her back right now. Try to secure the thought that she will return to allow me to patronize her services soon.
I think girls really misconstrue men a LOT in a club (and real life?). Their need to over-dramatize and "be hurt" costs them a good deal of cash. A cagey dancer will come back when I asked her to come back, if I ask her to come back. And I'll be honest with her -- "not tonight" means "not tonight" and "maybe later" means "maybe later tonight."
In my personal experience, I've always relied on 1.) being very nice, saying "no thanks, I'm good" to the mediocre girls, and "Eventually, absolutely! ...I've had along day though, and am looking to unwind a little." to the hot girls. That usually gets them to at least sit and talk, giving you a chance to see if you have some decent chemistry... and 2.) I tip *every* girl that comes around between $1-3 dollars when they are grabbing tips after a stage dance (whether I saw it, or not, and whether they are hot, or not). That alone will give you a good rep in the gossip rounds amongst the girls. Now, if they are hot, and I'm thinking maybe I'd like an LD later, I will occasionally tip $5... even up to $10 or 20 if I'm really desperate for a particular girl's attention. And when I give it to her, I wink and smile and compliment her (on her dance, her outfit, her hair, her smile, whatever stands out)... and then tell her I'd love to see her again when she had some time. They ALWAYS come back.
You can "turn them down" so to speak, but if the girl passes the "I'd hit it" test, I would only turn them down with the understanding that I would like to see them again in a little bit, and that they will be walking away with a tip in their garter.