Missing early shots

I don't think your situation has a solution. It's the thrill of the hunt. It also represents one of the principle of economics: opportunity costs. Every minute spent with a particular girl is a minute you can't spend with every other girl in the club. Actually, the situation is worse than you present it, because there other factors that you _can't_ see from the tip rail...mileage, personality, etc. You might actually get your trophy dancer to spend time with you, only to find out the she is a bitch, is the only dancer in the club who restricts her repertoire to air dances, etc.

I remember a couple of years ago in Bare Elegance out near LAX, where all of the girls were of Model-type looks, so that wasn't a problem. However, the first dancer I spent time with provided ultra-high mileage. I made the mistake of thinking that this level of mileage was typical of the club. In reality, every girl I spent time with after that provided progressively less mileage. If I had known that, I would have seen girl 1 as the whole meal, rather than just an appetizer. (Fortunately, I've had evenings that went the other way).

In any event, since you lack the qualities of the diety--omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence--I doubt there is any way to avoid the situation that you described, other than time-consuming, painstaking experience of getting to know that club's dancers over time. Hopefully you'll be up for the task.

Interesting...never forget that you are the one spending the money. If you later wanted to spend on her and she ignored you for such a silly reason as you wanted to settle in, then it is her financial loss. Not yours. Also, if her "ego" is that fragile then she probably is not worth your cash.

Good luck!

If you can't handle rejection, do not go into entertainment, especially stripping. But some women believe that their looks should make every man want them when they want to be wanted. And when that doesn't happen, you get a "woman scorned."

If I'm still in "shopping mode", and a dancer that interests me stops by to ask if I want a dance, I will - unless she is irresistible to me - do as you did. But, I will probably chat her up a bit...ask her for her name, tip her a buck (maybe a $5 if I really like her), and tell her that "I will definitely want to spend some time with you a little later" That way, she is somewhat complemented, you've established a small bit of rapport with her, and asked that she return later. I've had good luck with them returning.

The moral of the story... if you are at least a little interested in her for later... don't burn any bridges. Don't just say "maybe later"... or "not right now, I'm just settling in"... or anything along those lines. Make it clear that you ARE interested.

I suggest trying to spend the first few minutes moving around... walk to the bathroom, tip a girl, get a drink from the bar. While you do this give things a quick look over to show the general quality of the girls. If the place is full of 5's and a 9 comes up to you as soon as you sit down then you might not want to wait. Get an idea of whats going on early, and don't be afraid to go after something early.

I try to always begin the evening at the bar. I find that if I sit at a table, I will very quickly be approached. In some establishments the bar is a kind of neutral zone, or at least the last place a dancer moves to. Sitting at the bar gives me the chance to shop around. This is not true in all places, but it works in some.

I recently went into a certain club for the first time in years on a Friday night and it was very busy, much busier than any club that I had recently been in. I was honestly a little overwhelmed and when I sat down I was joined by a beautiful black lady. I had limited time to spare and was really looking for an all American (white) girl next door type to have a few dances with. This brown sugar was a definate 9 and super sweet and after visiting for just a few minutes I decided it was fate and we went away for an incredible 3 song set. I am so glad that I did not shop first because this babe was magic. A part of me almost did not do it but I'm glad I did, it paid off this time but you just never know.

ho- Yes its normal to want to get the "lay of the land" first (and or last, lol). But, there are times where the 1st oppurtunity is a good one, and should be taken. With experience, if initial vibes/instincts are good, why not act on it? I've done so, & not regretted it.
In your case, I would have ignored snubbing dancer, and moved on(to other dancer, or club). If she treats you like crap on the floor, how's she gonna treat you in the VIP?
When dancer 1st approached you, did you basically get good vibes? One suggestion: Say to dancer: "I'm not ready for dances yet, you're very attractive, I appreciate you coming by, where shall I place my tip"? Ball in her court now; There are sultry, sexy, nasty, greedy, and bitchy ways to respond to that & take tip. This is a chance to gauge her. One dancer that provided "assistance & guidance" to tip got a dance right away, those who merely hold out hand or grab tip don't get any further attention from me.

I understand that for sure. When I first get there I do the moving around angle where I go to the bathroom, walk to the bar and get a drink. This gives some time to get a little bit of the vibe in the room. If I've had enough time to do this then I generally will take up the first offer (unless its someone I'm completely not interested in) just to get a feel for how my night is going to end up. I like to reward if you can say that the first lady that takes the time to come to me.

Other than that, I've definitely missed some early opps but there have also been two distinct times I remember that at the end of the night the last dance I had ended up being the girl I wished I spent the whole night with but was at the end of my funds. It's pretty much like gambling...it's not until the end of the night that you find out if you came out on top or in the hole from those choices.

If dancers are smart, I think that they will notice when a guy first comes into a club & give him time to adjust to his surroundings. Even favs of mine have just stopped by early to say "Hi" and let me know that if I need anything from them to just let them know later. The lack of early pressure is always appreciated by me. I know it's frustrating when you're trying to get some dancer's attention & they just won't budge, but it's really their monetary loss...so screw 'em!

By passing on early shots to settle in and let your eyes get adjusted to the darkness, you will never know if you really missed anything. In your case, since she never bothered to come back, you probably did not miss anything. I agree that the smart dancers will let you settle in first. I have had dancers come up to me, introduce themselves and tell me if they can do anything for me, to let them know and then leave. That is smart.

Of course, with my favorites, that is never a problem. I just say "Save me a dance" and they respond with "I'll save you two".

You cant REALLY miss a shot. One girl at my club is like famouse EVERY guy raves about her on the internet and she is extremely picky since she has regulars that simply give her boatloads of cash. Yet on tuesday nite it was DEAD. Only about 8 guys in the place. I was hanging out with one guy who had 2 friends with him. One of these friends was a TOTAL ass. Honestly everyone customer or girls thought he was an asshole. This chick avoidd him like the plague. (most girls did) So his friend tells me his buddy is rough in the LD rooms and really disrespectful. (oh he was annoying to me too but I have a high tolerence for BS) Towards the end of the nite this "highly acclaimed" girl ended up givin him a ld just to make some cash. Even though she had to call the bouncer twice. So hey on a bad nite maybe the "one that got away" will be more forgiving

I don't know if you are really missing anything if you don't get a dance from the first girl who comes along. Those girls always seem like the ones most desperate for cash. And if they were good dancers, they wouldn't be desperate for cash. That said, if the first girl turns me on, I'll let her give me the first dance.

I don't mind "rejecting" a girl early in the hopes of seeing her later, but then missing out on seeing her later. Generally, in the mongering situations that I've been in, there are either (a) sufficient hot women to go 'round; or (b) my interest is such that, I'm happy if either (b.i.) her hotness "forces" me to engage her services or (b.ii.) her unavailability "forces" me to forego her services. So I'm really "in the moment" and letting the availability decide.

What bugs me, though, is a very similar situation, and I don't think the women really know that it can happen this way.

I REALLY dislike it, when I tell a hot girl, "Come back later" in some manner, and she takes it as a total rejection. If I mean later, I say later. But sometimes when you talk with a girl, she has this thing in her head about how the guy "has to" want her now and really RIGHT now, or he isn't "playing right." So the word gets out that I've rejected two or three girls, just because I've walked in the door ten seconds ago and I can't even see through the dark, yet; and next thing I know, nobody's approaching me all night long because "he's a jerk who'll say 'no' no matter how hot he thinks you are." Girls love to over-dramatize like that. So, when I DO say "later please" I try to make clear that I mean it, and that I'm not just using that as a euphemism for "no thank you." I'll tell a girl I'm not rejecting her; give her five minutes of conversation and a free drink, if I'm hot enough for her but don't want to take her back right now. Try to secure the thought that she will return to allow me to patronize her services soon.

I think girls really misconstrue men a LOT in a club (and real life?). Their need to over-dramatize and "be hurt" costs them a good deal of cash. A cagey dancer will come back when I asked her to come back, if I ask her to come back. And I'll be honest with her -- "not tonight" means "not tonight" and "maybe later" means "maybe later tonight."

A lot of good advice here.

In my personal experience, I've always relied on 1.) being very nice, saying "no thanks, I'm good" to the mediocre girls, and "Eventually, absolutely! ...I've had along day though, and am looking to unwind a little." to the hot girls. That usually gets them to at least sit and talk, giving you a chance to see if you have some decent chemistry... and 2.) I tip *every* girl that comes around between $1-3 dollars when they are grabbing tips after a stage dance (whether I saw it, or not, and whether they are hot, or not). That alone will give you a good rep in the gossip rounds amongst the girls. Now, if they are hot, and I'm thinking maybe I'd like an LD later, I will occasionally tip $5... even up to $10 or 20 if I'm really desperate for a particular girl's attention. And when I give it to her, I wink and smile and compliment her (on her dance, her outfit, her hair, her smile, whatever stands out)... and then tell her I'd love to see her again when she had some time. They ALWAYS come back.

You can "turn them down" so to speak, but if the girl passes the "I'd hit it" test, I would only turn them down with the understanding that I would like to see them again in a little bit, and that they will be walking away with a tip in their garter.

I hate tipping girls just for the "priviledge" of talking to them while they are making their rounds in the club. The only place that I can think of where this is a common practice is Cheaters in RI, and that place is pretty much a dump.