"Dumped" by stripper friend

In the past there were times I was worried it was over but this time is the real deal.

You fell in love. That was a mistake. Don't do it again. You'll be ok

She even hinted she would be open to going to my place or a hotel from more stuff.

So you knew her for 6 years but you never saw her outside?

Of course anyone could dump you at anytime.

But if you want to know the women who dance in strip clubs you get them outside ASAP.

SJG

In My Dreams
https://youtu.be/-55rKa7fZTo?t=510

Neon. How much money did you give her? Hinting as you put it is a strategy to string you along. Maybe she did like you. Women are fickle. Men are too sometimes.

It's essential you put your dick in at least three other women over the next six weeks, drink herbal tea or some shit, and focus on yourself.

If shit didn't happen in six years, it wasn't real.

Here's a little something to commiserate to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb3rT6YD…

OP, some dancers try to get as much as possible from you by giving false promises. If you cannot get them to meet outside within 6 months, move on. 6 years is crazy waste

^True. I was doing approx $300 rooms every few months. Apparently she didnt show up at the club much the last few year being busy with work.

We only talked about meeting outside the last year or so.

Well that wasn’t a very nice thing for stripper_friend to do. Too bad we can’t tag people on this site, so we could encourage him to explain himself in this thread. Maybe we can all write a community PM?
https://tuscl.net/member.php?id=158679

Well if you want to know the girl you are banging her in your own bed and waking up with her in the mornings.

SJG

In My Dreams
https://youtu.be/-55rKa7fZTo?t=510

So roughly $1200/year? She thought you were cheap probably

Look, get laid and get over it. Been there, dine that, I've got the t shirt. It wasn't love. Admit it to yourself and move on.

Unrequited love. If she really cared she'd have shown it

Sort of silly but she fulfilled my wrestling / strong girl fetish, looked alot like this
https://www.instagram.com/thekatiearquet…

===> "I know I got too close to her but its almost like she was messing with me at the end. lol Wish I didnt spend so much money on her."

Yes you did get too close to her and she was messing with you at the end. She was probably also messing with you in the beginning and in the middle too in one way or another. you were a good source of income and I suspect that she knew how to keep you on the hook.

Consider what you paid her to be tuition. To guys this is personal entertainment (at least the ones that don't lose perspective), but to her it's just a job. Trying to use strippers to fill some void inevitably has only one outcome. The fact that it went on for 6 years is impressive - many of these girls don't last 6 months in the same club. But whether it's 6 years or 6 months, every regular/favorite arrangement has an end date, at which point one of you moves on. Enjoy it for what it is, but never lose sight of the fact that it's commercial for her.

Now shake it off cowboy and go find your new adventure. Maybe next time, if you're spending real money, you can find a girl to put your dick in before 6 years passes. Just another thought.

If you have a specific fetish like that you might find an escort who would do that to you

Looks good, but Neon, you gotta be banging her in your own bed.

SJG

I think last year I spent around 2700 but water under the bridge....

Some of that going to the club

I just wish the last week she would of just told me I cant make it or meet anymore. I would of over overpaid her for the get together.It's like she was playing mind games or something.

A GF or Wife could dump you.

But whatever, fuck them in your own bed, it makes a difference.

SJG

You were a customer and that's what she treated you as all that time. Your grief is from you thinking it was more. If it was anything it would have gone out of the club along time ago

Ok, I posted all that before you mentioned how much you were spending. Scratch almost everything I said. You probably weren't worth enough for her to make much of a serious effort at anything. Shit dude when you said "all that money" I assumed that you meant actual money. My bad.

You want her you make her understand that. Its how you do her in your own bed, and its how you treat her at all other times.

And still she could dump you.

SJG

I think I was the only customer she was seeing the last few years. She said the manager was going to remove her locker. Things kind of slowed down when covid was peaking. I wasnt a whale but was probably spending more and consistently than anyone there. The managers would let me wait in the vip section when waiting for her avoiding the tip stage.
Anyway, we ended things but me saying "lol great heel turn" she then asked whats a heel turn and i send a kiss emoji to end on somewhat good terms.

Seeing only you then she really isn't much of a stripper anymore. Should have been taking her out to dinner, and the theater, and then fucking her brains out in your own bed.

SJG

Most of the times after we did a room she left the club same time as me.

Another never ending question thread by cacaplop?

Sincere guy who is being honest about getting his heart broken. A good guy.

SJG

Neon44, what to end here. You were just a another customer to her. She might have banged with someone else from club. Nothing to discuss or complain or cry here.

She's about 5'1 and lifted weights more than me lol

"lol great heel turn"
that to me is a cool and slightly subtle way of telling her that she's a bitch.

maybe go out to some gyms and find that type of girl to "train" her for whatever it is you're looking for and pay for those meets.

hell if she's in your area why not try katie arquette herself? the worst that could happen is she whacks the top of your head with a trash can lid or a kendo stick. tip: don't ask jordyn grace - she's strong as fuck!!! she could literally pick up most men.

The fact that you somehow feel you didn't get your money's worth indicates you're drama-prone. Could just be she agrees with me. So, she ghosted instead of leveling that she's done with you. Not endorsing it, but understandable, avoiding drama is a good survival skill.

I knew a dancer who told me she could squat 300 lbs. But the only hint I can give you is she may be somewhere in Western Indiana. Sad to say, but if I heard she was dead or in jail, would not be surprised.

You've been a TUSCLer for 10-years - one would assume you'd know how these things go - as @Dugan posted, it's a commercial relationship like anything else one pays $$$ for - dancers provide a service; nothing else; they don't owe us anything more than what one pays for at the club (or w/e arrangement$ are made for OTC) - once a dancer is ready to move-on, more often than not she cuts all ties w/ her former-dancer-life.

As a TUSCLer one should know how flaky many of these girls are - we should be surprised when they follow thru vs the other way around - if she really wanted-to or needed-to, she would make sure to get w/ you; o/w you should just accept that perhaps she's not interested - you let you intentions be known and she has a way to get in touch w/ you; if she hasn't then it's for a reason.

Many dancers for some reason have a hard time saying no - IDK if it's b/c they feel they are being rude; or b/c they never wanna burn a bridge in case they may need it in the future; but it's not uncommon for many dancers to not say no when they are thinking/feeling no.

Per what @heaving posted - one would assume you enjoyed your previous interactions w/ her - so hard to see you 'wasted" your $$$ on her - if you saw her repeatedly one would assume she treated you well and that is all she really owes you (to show a good time at the club in-line w/ what you spent).

Also - many TUSCLers on here read about OTC and think it's as easy as just willing to pay - reality is that OTC has a high-failure-rate and many if not most dancers are not down with it and prefer to keep their club-life and their real-life as separate as possible.

Papi is right about OTC high failure rate. If it's really what you are after, OP, then you have to accept that and not spend years pushing for one dancer to say yes because she can drain your wallet that way. You need to qualify dancers faster.

I went into a club I'd never been into about a year ago while travelling. I spent the entire night there. While I didn't do OTC, I did an experiment. About 5 dancers asked if I wanted a dance and I said, "I usually don't play IN the club" emphasizing the IN. 3 ,sort of drifted away after that. One spent time with Mr then indicated an interest in OTC. And the other was easy and probably says yes to almost anyone. That first woman who indicated an interest probably has a 50% of changing her mind or standing me up. It's a high failure rate and you just have to be tough enough not to take it personally OP. But in your case, even if you think you've found the perfect woman, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just move on and learn from your experience.

Remember what Michael Corleone said to his brother, "It isnt personal Sonny. It's business"

They usually don't want to come right out and tell you to get lost so they make vague promises they don't keep and hope you get the hint and give up on them.

I've only been in one situation where I wasn't sure when to end it. This involved a six-year regular like you. In my case she said she was quitting. I then said, "I won't see you again". She then got an angry look on her face and wanted to know why not. I then told her, if she wanted to, we could still see each other after she quit stripping. We had dinner and talked on the phone a few times and then she stopped answering the phone when I called. I think she just changed her mind about seeing me after her stripper days were over. These girls change their mind about things all the time. I was a little unhappy but I accept that these relationships have an expiration date and I can always find new girls.

"I would of over overpaid her for the get together" did you tell her what you would pay? She might have assumed you weren't going to pay her for her time OTC

"She even hinted she would be open to going to my place or a hotel from more stuff." why leave it at a hint? that was the time to clarify what she meant and make her a solid offer.

i think we chatted about some of this years ago. am i recalling correctly?

Once they leave stripping, they often find love or something approximating love and leave us behind. We do similar

Well, IME OTC fun is not as difficult to find as some here seem to believe, especially when you have enough money to spend. But I agree that for the OP the chance of actually scoring with her was likely on par with various mythological legends. First because he didn't come across as a guy who could easily part with the cash and, second, because he was getting too emotional with the girl.

I was listening to an interview with a porn star recently. She was talking about the classic porn problem: guy can't get it up. One guy tried to turn it back on her, said he felt like she was "just performing". She kinda lost it, said duh, yeah, I'd never fuck you for free. Felt bad about later, wondered if he ever got it up again.

So, maybe for the best they just ghost on us. They may be right, that we don't want to hear about how/why they're tired of our shit. The times I've broken it off with favs, some had the sense to not ask why. But most did, so I had a very massage version of the truth, if not a straight up lie, ready for them. Maybe sometimes people ghost because they're not good liars.

From your OP it’s pretty clear you never had a stripper friend. She was a stripper and you were her customer, and she wanted to keep it ITC only.

Neon what kind of extras were you getting? Were the dances you received worth the money? If the dances in themselves were worth the money then you didn’t lose anything. Were you buying dances and spending a lot in the hopes she would eventually have sex? That isn’t how things work that would just encourage her to keep milking you. That strategy is a recipe for disaster. Simply giving someone gifts or business doesnt mean they’ll give you something in return.
You have to discuss beforehand what the terms are, and pay her for the OTC after you do otc with her. If you pay her first she could scam you.

Papi chulo why does OTC have a high failure rate? Why is it more complex than being willing to pay?

The problem is thinking that someone you pay cares for you. If you think strippers and OTC will replace a real relationship, you're going to be disappointed 99.9% of the time.

@skibum preach it brother!

Everyone getting caught up in another cacaplop thread lulz

"Everyone getting caught up in another cacaplop thread lulz" neon has been around a while and we've chatted about some local dancers, bars and this topic before, here and on another board. He is legit.

Rick you’ve talked about being a hardcore stoic and an alpha male. Since you have the easiest time getting OTC from all these girls are you sure it’s not your looks and personality that’s genuinely attracting these girls for OTC instead of the ease of obtaining OTC using money as you put it? Since strippers are more selective with OTC than escorts it could mean OTC strippers are genuinely attracted to their clients even if they’re older men?

Hookers aren't selective. You have to be really off to be rejected by a hooker

Yeah Iceydodo if a hooker dumps you for a better source of coke from a loser weed dealer, you must be WAY off. 🤭🤡😂

Neon if it was just you being her vustomrr or p4p then it was just transactional. Of after so long nothing came of it then it's obvious what it was for her. Just move on. Don't catch unreciprocated feelings. Easier said than done but be realistic

Sounds silly but we usually did some roleplay, light fetish wrestling, her flexing, kissing, cuddling, fondling and then end off with a hj. She mentioned she preferred men manscaped and spoke about the morning after pill regarding an unwanted pregnancy of some girl I knew. (not mine) She also claimed to have bought me a "ring" after showing her someone using it in a fetish vid but didnt bring it in. Maybe it was fear of rejection but if we agreed to actually bang I would pay top dollar. lol

Ps. She also used to wish me happy birthday, etc holidays and visa versa even if it was an act.

in texts

Maybe it was the fetish but I basically built this girl into some wrestling goddess or something.

neon44, we all need to learn to feel our feeling continually.

You will be alright. Welcome to TUSCL.

SJG

What made you pay top dollar for her instead of going on tryst or eros and getting someone hot for $500 or whatever? Are you factoring personality or connection into it instead of just the factors of price and looks?
Were you looking for a relationship with that dancer?

Icee an OTC stripper isnt always a hooker.
Some strippers only do OTC with someone they have a connection with, or someone disease free or someone they think wont start drama or etc or someone they’re attracted to.

Bte a woman selling pussy is a hooker

Icee you can define it as hooker but even so your comment of hookers not being selective is untrue.
Theres hookers who only take on a couple clients at a time and prefer long term clients.
Theres sugar baby hookers who do the same.
Then there’s escorts and actual hookers who will bang 10 different guys everyday.
So some hookers are very selective

That's not true. You're lying to yourself to think you're special for paying a hooker. That's the Rick Dugan and sjg strategy

Lol not true? So youre saying all hookers and strippers fuck any guy with money? Theres no strippers only doing OTC with a few guys at a time?
There are many strippers who are in fact selective about who they do otc with. So yes you are special if a stripper is only doing otc with you and noone else

Bte hookers tell tricks they're special and the only one etc. Uts called running game.

You come on here with tge most inane bs and either are playing dumb or are clueless.