Channeling resentment towards dancers
rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
Not long ago a girl who has danced at my favorite club for a few years came next to me at the bar and, after ordering a drink, turns to me and says, "You must think I'm a bitch." Tbh I don't even remember the last time we spoke or what we talked about except that she wasn't interested in what I was proposing. So beyond the occasional stage tip she's just part of the background scenery and vice versa I'm sure.
I responded to her with a smile and a slightly confused look: "Honey, why would I resent a half naked girl half my age just because we didn't have a meeting of the minds?"
I was honestly baffled. Does she really get so much static from guys that she just assumes that I think she's a bitch just because she didn't agree to something? What does that say about the hyper-sensitivity of some of the guys that she must deal with?
Also lately, as I'm buying drinks for girls, I've heard countless stories about guys who don't offer and actually get mad if a girl asks for one. Since when did this normal social convention become so contentious? We're talking about normal (club) drink prices here, not special dancer drinks or mini champagne bottles.
I just don't get it. Where is all of this anger and resentment coming from? Is it a money thing? Do guys no longer feel like they're in control when they're in the club? Are more men simply being raised as pussies? Is it some men vs. women thing?
Idk about anyone else, but I couldn't be happier that I'm a man and not a woman. I don't have to deal with monthly periods, childbearing, hormone swings during several years of menopause onset or the countless other biological challenges they face. I don't have to wait in long lines and/or squat just to piss. I don't have to pay any attention to the hen clucking gossip that is common in most families and really seems to weigh on female psyches. And of course, since my sexual organs still work well despite my advancing age, I can pay girls half my age for all sorts of fun.
I just don't understand how any grown man with a set of functioning balls and enough money in his pockets could walk into a club and see it as anything but his fun playground.
I responded to her with a smile and a slightly confused look: "Honey, why would I resent a half naked girl half my age just because we didn't have a meeting of the minds?"
I was honestly baffled. Does she really get so much static from guys that she just assumes that I think she's a bitch just because she didn't agree to something? What does that say about the hyper-sensitivity of some of the guys that she must deal with?
Also lately, as I'm buying drinks for girls, I've heard countless stories about guys who don't offer and actually get mad if a girl asks for one. Since when did this normal social convention become so contentious? We're talking about normal (club) drink prices here, not special dancer drinks or mini champagne bottles.
I just don't get it. Where is all of this anger and resentment coming from? Is it a money thing? Do guys no longer feel like they're in control when they're in the club? Are more men simply being raised as pussies? Is it some men vs. women thing?
Idk about anyone else, but I couldn't be happier that I'm a man and not a woman. I don't have to deal with monthly periods, childbearing, hormone swings during several years of menopause onset or the countless other biological challenges they face. I don't have to wait in long lines and/or squat just to piss. I don't have to pay any attention to the hen clucking gossip that is common in most families and really seems to weigh on female psyches. And of course, since my sexual organs still work well despite my advancing age, I can pay girls half my age for all sorts of fun.
I just don't understand how any grown man with a set of functioning balls and enough money in his pockets could walk into a club and see it as anything but his fun playground.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
87 comments
As far as buying drinks for everyone. I try to be nice and friendly, I do not care what you look like I will treat with respect everytime, I am not gonna be nasty. But look like I'm not made of money and I can't be a little bitch that's buying everyone a $11 drink (which is kinda normal now) that says hello. If I got to change gears and make the conversation uncomfortable to say no than that's what has to happen. That's time to say goodbye.
That's a strawman Muddy. Nobody's suggesting that you become Captain happy Hour. But to not even offer a drink to the girl who asked to sit with you and to whom you said yes?
i'm the happiest (highest) guy there.
"I'm surprised after last time."
"Sex isn't the only reason I come in here; I like to grope too, and as long as you let me do like last time, I'll still get dances occasionally."
"But you won't get a VIP."
"Not unless you change your mind about the 'no'. [with a bit of a smile] But I'm ok with just dances if you are."
Drinks I don't generally buy unless it's someone who's gonna fuck me, as a dancer drink is $22 or $31, depending on the club, and I ain't doing that for anyone other than a favorite.
PT's and the Frog I'm more likely to buy a drink, because they are more rationally priced. Still expensive, but not ridiculous.
Once again Icee has a "voice of reason" moment, lol. That's scary. 😉
Agreed. Or even when I'm simply enjoying her company after I agreed that she could sit. Until such time as she moves on or I send her away, she has an open bar tab. Now obviously that's all within reason. If she rings me up for a $30 cocktail or tries to get me to buy for others then her time is just about up. But otherwise I want her to be comfortable. I've also bought no small number of dinners over the years in clubs that serve decent food.
Granted, drinks here are reasonably priced, but I also had been surprised several times by the reactions of girls who were new to me after asking if they wanted a drink. They'd seem legitimately thankful, and have the same sorts of comments, about sitting with guys a while and either never being offered despite the server coming by numerous times, or guys getting annoyed about being asked for a drink.
If you're talking to a girl at a bar (strip club or otherwise), you offer a drink. Period. I think the *absolute* refusal to ever do so is because some dudes who are not even moderately attractive walk into a strip club and get an attitude like, "bitch wants my money? Now it's MY turn to have the power".
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V8h8snfYid…
When I was like 5 years old, my dad would let me stay home by myself while he went to pick up my brother, just so I could watch He-Man.
Sometimes I just get drunk with them. I've spent like $300 on drinks before but usually it's like around $100.
And I've had drunk dancers want to fuck.
As far as buying drinks, never noticed. Then again, in central TX it’s the reverse and customers get kinda mad if you’re not drinking. Umm okay sir but I can get pretty demanding and obnoxious when I drink. But if it’s that important, sure I’ll order my 5th drink today. Though elsewhere, there was this one customer in a drink hustle club who did turn me down when I asked for a drink and told me he’d rather I lay off the alcohol and let’s get more dances. What a gentleman 🥰
SJG
^ I've experienced and wondered about this too. I'd feel awkward as fuck ordering a drink in front of a dancer and not offering her one, or inviting her to come sit with me without offering. There's obviously limits, but like you mentioned but within a pretty wide range of normal prices I consider it just part of the cost. I'll admit some girls have gotten a little carried away with drinks and probably sold a couple dances less than they may have if they hadn't damaged my wallet at the bar, but that's pretty rare.
In some semblance of defense for the guys who decline, I've also noticed an increase in what I'd call drive by requests for drinks lately. I'm not sure if girls are using it as a litmus test to see if the customer is a spender, or just feeling entitled, but a girl who sits down and can't pick up on the signs that I'm not interested and then proceeds to ask me to buy her a drink is gonna get denied. Usually it's less about the money and more about the fact that I want her to go so I can get someone I'm interested at my table instead though.
PLs are there cause they can't get it for free. We can't get it for free due to some combination of pickiness, fugliness, wanting to stay free, and having a toxic personality of some type. From what my favs tell me, there's a lot of that last one.
I find that waitresses nag you more to buy drinks for dancers than dancers do. Since I don't drink myself in bars (rarely even get a water), I can easily just say "I'm good" and that's that. Sometimes my favs will order a drink when they are talking to me, without asking me to pay for it, but I do.
Some strip clubs can be quite high-pressure environments, but I agree with you about going to them for the additional reason of being a little bored and just wanting to get out of the house. This, combined with that desire to stay free of relationships and to spend time with women I normally couldn't get due to my advanced age, is enough to justify going to them.
Customers getting angry at strippers is often a subtle form of intimidation being done to try to manipulate them into doing something they don't want to do. There is always the implied possibility of anger escalating into violence. I never use anger to try to get someone to do something. In a strip club I use friendliness and money and if that doesn't work on a girl then I try another girl.
And you were perfectly OK with being told how you should behave. Not my normal experience with dancers, but got it and to each her own.
And lastly please stop saying women can’t take rejection. You haven’t walked the streets of nyc as a hot girl.
There’s numerous reports of women assaulted after rejecting a man. Men are definitely emotional it’s called anger/ aggression.
Whenever I reject a man I get scared he may get violent . Is that the same feeling you get when you tell a woman no?
You really need to get involved with a better class of men, that's not normal behavior, by either one of you, sorry but a hit dog needs some therapy as to why she chooses some one who would hit her, I can understand if it's a one of, get out of there and don't look back, but if this is regular behavior, you're doing something wrong.
And fuck yeah anyone that thinks it's manly to even scare a woman, let alone hit her, is a POS.
On the drink thing, where dancer drinks are much more expensive than regular drinks and part of the club comp structure, buying a drink carries some expectations by the customer that a dancer will at at least spend some time chatting or if on the Baltimore Block, some bar side groping.
In more conventional clubs/comp structures, I have no expectations or rules. IMO it’s important to remember the cost of the drink means different things to customer and dancer. To the customer, it’s a cost outlay. If it’s a $5 beer it may impact the customer’s budget differently than $30 for a couple shots of Patron. From the dancer’s perspective, yeah the drinks tasted good, but she saw no money to pay her house fees, tip out or rent, car payment, baby formula, etc. Drinking with a customer also chewed up time that if it didn’t result in a sale was not well spent.
As I said, I don’t have rules about whether I buy a drink or not. I just read the room and have fun. I’m not cheap and enjoy drinking with dancers. I just know that if I open my wallet for a $20 drink I don’t expect the same response as a $20 cash tip.
There’s numerous reports of women assaulted after rejecting a man. Men are definitely emotional it’s called anger/ aggression."
when a guy gets rejected over and over again, all of that accumulates over a period of time. then that asshole will wind up just teeing off on a girl that rejects him while he's at a boiling point. yeah it's unfortunate - we in nyc do have a bunch of shitbags like that roaming the streets, bars, clubs, etc.
ok. now take any girl and have her switch places with any average guy. how would the average girl react to being rejected at least a 100 times in a lifetime like the average guy?
I love comments like these because it shows the real shitbag you really are
I don’t choose who is attracted to me and approaches me. Guess before I start my day I should call the psychic hotline and ask will there be any violent men who will hit on me today”.
Never did I say I dated or knew men who became violent towards me. But that’s what some men do they insert a scenario just to victims blame. So if I’m at a bar and a man wants to get my number and I reject him.…. Tell me how do I choose better?
By switching places that’s a hypothetical situation, you can’t predict and bet on ya life that women will become violent.
And how do you know that man has been rejected 100 times maybe he just really can’t take rejection. But here’s a violin for a perp pity party 🎻
I’m really not trying to attack men, I’m just saying that narrative that women are more emotional when it comes to rejection isn’t true. A lot of people can’t handle rejection
But again hit dogs are hollering because that one thing I said have y’all in defense.
Give em da number to da city morgue. Dat will tell em to drop dead! If dat doesn't work I dump a load in der basement!
Smart talk
2) I'm sure when it comes to strip clubs most men dont expect to buy a girl a drink who they later have to pay for attention. To some men that's like paying twice for the one service.i think most men consider buying a woman a drink normal clubgestufe not strip club gesture.
3) I've heard tales from plenty of women and some in normal clubs not many men are paying for a lady's drink as often as they used to back in the day. Many women and some men believe this is due to a combination of entitlement culture and economic disruption due to covid. Many women are becoming a little too expectant for a drink and are expected to walk away without even bothering to engage in conversation with a gentleman that bought the drink and some men just don't feel like paying for drinks for women that they don't even know. I am talking about normal Club in this regard so compare that with strip club and you have a weird dynamic going on
I don’t think I’m blaming her let’s take a different scenario, if you keep having something happening over and again, does there come a point when you might want to look at where you are, like the guy who keeps getting hit by a train, and refuses to stop walking on the RR tracks, at the very least he could remove his EarPods and get out of the way of the train.
I did say if it was just a one of it was understandable
But my pop used to say “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”
@rickdugun "But to not even offer a drink to the girl who asked to sit with you and to whom you said yes?"
Do you read what you write. You want someone to pay a girl, who invited herself to sit next to you, her drink for no reason other than she's a stripper? I know that you guys think strip clubs may work different than a regular night club, but a drink is the same no matter the setting. What kind of loser goes out of his way to buy a girl a drink every time she invites herself over. That's like having bottle service and allowing some random thot to take a few swigs because she asked to join the table. Do you also give a girl your wallet for dinner every time she asks YOU out to dinner?
If you can't afford to buy a girl a drink you shouldn't go out. To a bar club strip club whatever. I'd be embarrassed and feel awkward being that cheap when I go out. How can a dancer have a positive interaction with you when you refuse a drink. That's not normal.
Call me old fashioned, but I offer her a drink when I allow her to join me because...well...I'm a man. I believe that when a woman who I want to keep me company does so, I assume some responsibility for her comfort. My opportunity to forego that obligation was the moment when she asked if she could sit. I could have said no and tbh I often do.
Oh, and yes, when I go out with a woman, I pick up the tab. That's because...once again...wait for it...I'm a man. When I'm cleaning myself in the shower, I reach down to find a big ol' pair of balls - among other good things. What about you?
stippers sniff-out unassertive 'gentleman' as easy marks.
with exceptions, men handle rejection much better than strippers, who usually can't even handle opposing opinions without hurling insults/throwing fits.
i will admit that it turns me on when my CF bhottie does it though.
get it all out pussy. lulz.
Just look at the defensive posts on here from the younger contingent. A beautiful half naked young girl wants to spend time sitting with a guy and one of his biggest concerns is being "used" for a few drinks?
On the bright side, some of these girls are so disgusted with the hypersensitivity and defensiveness that they are increasingly confronted with that it's easier than ever to have a hot girl spend time with me barside, which in turn gives me added time to build rapport.
Heaving saying you choose to buy drinks for those who appreciate it puts you in sjg category with that kind of talk lulz also who said to buy everyone a drink? Most people grow out of concrete thinking in early childhood.
But a strip club is not the modern world. It's a place where the entire system is predicated on guys being the providers of money and women using their feminine charms and wiles to coax it out of them. This includes certain time honored traditions that serve as simple tokens of interest, like tipping a girl on stage if you like her and offering her a drink if you want her to join you.
But some of the more recent crop of younger guys can't seem to process what the clubs are supposed to be about and instead bring all of their real life angst and anger and prejudices about females into the clubs with them. IMHO not only does this defensive behavior make it harder for them to fully enjoy the clubs, but it makes everything harder for the dancers too.
This absurd drink debate is one example. Any guy who finds buying a few drinks for the ladies to be remotely contentious either doesn't really have the money to be in strip clubs or is just thinking about this all wrong. This is his time to let a little of his alpha out, not to behave like a defensive and resentful beta who can't even tolerate a bit of hustling from half naked girls.
These kinds of threads help understand why some of you get avoided by dancers. Cheap guys. Ldk guys. Guys looking for hookers. They get looked down on for a reason.
Pimping is a broad category anyways.
If there's a guy who gives girls game and ways to not have to hoe they're thankful af. Or if someone puts them on and they sell weed or stuff in a club.
But yeah most hate gorilla pimps after they know what they're about
LULZ
But tell yourselves whatever you want to feel better. Go enjoy that ldk
^^^again, not in my experience. I've had my friend stripper that I know only in real life and outside of clubs tell me pimps are the lowest form of club customer. Also I hear the same thing from strippers that I see in the club that know I'm never going to spend money on.
The only strippers that will have anything to do with a pimp are the most desperate ones. They're the bottom feeder strippers that are drug addicts and often ratchet. The level headed strippers on top of their game just use those pimps but more often avoid them altogether.
LMFAO you go to a stripper's place of work and give the most desperate ones money and drugs and don't think that's all that she wants from you.
🤭🤡😂😂😂
Go troll elsewhere
And please stop getting so butthurt about getting it pointed out. I'm sorry that you don't want to come across as a delusional RIL but honestly it's consistent with all your posts. That you're butthurt and playing the troll victim card is on you. 🤭🤡😂
And you always play the butthurt troll victim card when ya got nothing else. 🤭🤡😂
The other day I saw two girls sitting together at a table that I wasn't really interested in, but they were chatty, and another dancer I thought looked hot except for an obvious wig but was being shy. I figured for $20 extra bucks I'd get all the info I needed on the club and enough time to decide if quiet girl was worth a VIP. So I wave the shy one over and let them order whatever they want. Then the bartender brings over the drinks and tells me it was 97 fucking dollars. Lol.
So I paid it because I'm the one who asked for the drinks, but when the bartender lady walked away I did ask how much the drinks were. Turns out clubs in that town charge Baltimore Block prices for dancer drinks even in the dives. Obviously that was a fuck up, but what that turned into was three dancers watching some random guy hand over $100 with no worries. After that all they were waiting on was which of them was going to the back after I got my tour of their VIP rooms.
Hey look man, it's a brave new world I suppose. You don't want to hear what common customs are in the throwback world of strip clubs, you believe that the norms that apply in your personal life should also apply in clubs. To each his own. If that's working out for you then go yee forth and all, but tbh I couldn't operate thinking like that and definitely couldn't enjoy clubs with that mindset.
No, I offered them drinks before they could do more than say hello because I had things to do and wanted to skip ahead to the important details. If I'd given them the chance to speak one of the three would've probably tipped me off. The chattiest one spent the next five or ten minutes explaining anything and everything about the place and what was available. The next club I went to the first dancer I talked to told me her drink was going to be $27 when she asked for it. She wasn't really my type, but I bought the drink anyway to kill time waiting for the dancer I wanted to free up.
I mentioned the hundred dollar drink hit because I thought it was a funny story, not because it bothered me.