How to have a healthy relationship with the strip club?
I'm split. I do like to go to the strip club because I like to get turned on. I like the heels and the seduction. But at the same time, I don't like to waste all my money. I don't like to be duped into thinking that the girl really likes me. I've tried to quit several times and have taken time off from the clubs. But when I go back, it just feels so addicting again. Then I get upset I get suckered in by the girls to spend my money. They'll say anything to make me feel silly for saying no.
For those that love going to the strip club, what do you think about how someone looking at it from a 3rd person's perspectve, thinks we are nuts? I just like going to talk to girls because I don't know how to talk to them at bars. The strip club becomes a crutch for me. Like I feel like I always need it or life lacks a certain vibe.
Looking for your perspective. Any words of encouragement. See, I get the sense that most strippers don't want to help you. They just say that you SHOULD go to the club and spend your hard earned money. So that's not helpful.
For those that love going to the strip club, what do you think about how someone looking at it from a 3rd person's perspectve, thinks we are nuts? I just like going to talk to girls because I don't know how to talk to them at bars. The strip club becomes a crutch for me. Like I feel like I always need it or life lacks a certain vibe.
Looking for your perspective. Any words of encouragement. See, I get the sense that most strippers don't want to help you. They just say that you SHOULD go to the club and spend your hard earned money. So that's not helpful.
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I will play along and comment in your discussion.
It’s is common knowledge and socially/culturally accepted that hobbies are good for people’s physical and mental health, because that is a good way to spend leisure time.
There is a reason the adult industry is a hobby for many adults.
Having hobbies during leisure is associated with health benefits, enjoyment, less disease and longer life expectancy, street reduction, better sleep, Improving work performance etc, etc, etc.
People that participated in enjoyable activities had greater life satisfaction and feel their lives had a greater sense of purpose and meaning, because they are happy.
The “problem” is that our Over-Sexualized and at the same time Sexually-Repressed American culture/society. men and women receive mixed messages about their sexuality.
We want women to be objects of sexual desire, yet we expect them to be pure.
The reality is that, men and women have a natural and healthy desire to be sexual.
Yet in our sexually repress society/culture men and women are less likely to reveal their sexual desires.
American society encourages men and women to push their sexual desires down.
As long as you participate in the adult industry hobby in moderation and enjoy it, you should be fine.
Again think of it as what it is; a hobby that you should be able to enjoy within your life schedule and budget, just like any other hobby.
Sexual interactions and the “adult industry” in various forms is nothing new in the world or the western culture...
I would refer you to Demosthenes (384 – 12 October 322 BC)
Greek statesman and orator of ancient Athens.
1. We have courtesans for the sake of pleasure.
2. Concubines for the daily health of our bodies, and
3. Wives to bear us lawful offspring and be the faithful guardians of our homes
In this list is the Greek view of woman in the classic age.
And in all ages and times.
All men want that, but only some can afford it...
In today’s world the rich can say:
1. We have high end escorts, centerfolds, actresses, models, etc that provide PSE/GFE for the sake of pleasure.
2. Mistresses/Sugar Babies/Strippers ITC OTC; etc, for the daily needs of our bodies.
3. Trophy Wives (with an ironclad prenup) to bear us lawful offspring, and be the faithful guardians of our homes.
4. Realistic Sex Dolls/Gynoids/Fembot, and Internet Porn and Instagram/Onlyfans “Models”, for kicks-and-giggles”
Remember
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”
~ Cuban refugee Tony Montana (Al Pacino) in the movie Scarface.
This may sound kind of funny, but I used that as motivation to achieve bigger things. Yes, strip clubs have made me work harder to make more money so I could afford to go more often and enjoy more things when I'm there. Strip clubs are fantasy land. Once I accepted that fact, I enjoyed them much more.
I don't see strippers and strip clubs as an evil blemish on a good world. They are a somewhat more eviler blemish on an evil world. Waitstaff pretend to be friendlier towards you than what they really are. They are generally not so extra about it, because they have a less strong financial incentive, and less of an incentive to trick you into ordering a dish or drink that isn't really your first choice.
I think many, if not most, of us get cynical by the time by hit our thirties. You stop and ponder your life so far from the big picture. It sinks in, how the people who supposedly love you have often been very phoney. Pursuing their own selfish ends by guilt-tripping you and giving you false hopes.
Mot people get through life with superficial attachments to others, deluding themselves that they are less superficial than what they are. I still feel the urge to not be such a loner. I see it as similar to my urge to eat a large supreme pizza every day. One I have to get use to pushing back on.
To me, strippers are like many people in my life who think they are besting me. I stop and think about how they make clowns of themselves. Feeling victims of drama of their own making. Desperately chasing fleeting satisfactions they delusionally see as long-lasting. I end up feeling more pity than resentment.
The strip club habit is not a good one for younger guys. Young guys, who have less money, should be out with civilian girls. There is little good that will come from a young guy getting involved with strip clubs.
Strip clubbing looks less savory from the outside.
If the issue is spending beyond your means, then try walking into the club with a set amount of cash and leave your cards locked up in the car. I did this when I first started clubbing because I had a few nights where I essentially mugged myself. There were a few nights where I said "Fuck it. I'm getting the cards and spending the money." But during the walk to my car I'd realize that I was making a big mistake. In every instance, instead of going back into the club I'd just drive home.
If you want to go to strip clubs, that's great. If you need to go to strip clubs, that's not great. You need to make different choices.
Like is all sunshine and unicorn farts for us ricks (btw, unicorn farts smell delightful). No Sturm und Drang like normie (non-rick) life.
Alas, there is but one way to become rick: you must be born a rick.
However, you can become rickish. Just get yourself a bottle of drivin’ whiskey and go on a long road trip. Engage in depraved acts with a girl that has daddy issues and perfect titties. Call a cop a wildebeest. In short, live like a frickin’ lion! ROAR!!!
Visits to strip clubs are more for guys who don't currently want to be in a relationship or want a little variety and want to spend some time with females they are not a relationship with. I had girlfriends when I was younger but I'm happy now with the freedom that comes with the single life. I like women, though, and strip clubs give me a chance to spend a little time with them.
To have a healthy relationship with a strip club you have to accept what a strip club is and more importantly isn't. What a strip club is, is an entertainment venue. The girls make money by entertaining you. It's similar to the characters at Disney World. The people dressed up in the cartoon outfits hugging people aren't there to dupe anyone into thinking an animated mouse actually feels genuine affection for them. They're there to entertain you. You pay an entry fee and buy overpriced drinks just like the strip club. I hate when people say the strip club is a fantasy. It's not a fantasy, sitting at home watching porn thinking about touching & fucking the girl in the video is a fantasy. It's not a girlfriend supermarket either. The girls entertain by appearing romantically interested, because we link that with physical intimacy and its a good sales tactic. No one wants to go to a strip club where the girls openly show their disdain for customers, that's not entertaining.
For the most part, the girls aren't trying to dupe you. Sure, there's a few bad apples out there who are. But in my experience by and large most strippers would rather you have a good time, compensate them financially for their time, then both go your separate ways happily. You having just been entertained, and her having just made some money to go spend on her own entertainment.
This 100%.
To add, if you are too socially awkward to meet girls in real life situations, I'm guessing that this same issue will also impose limits upon your upward career mobility. I don't say this to be a jerk, but simply to suggest that there may be better uses for your time and energy at this stage of your life, like focusing on how to improve yourself and your prospects. It's "addicting" simply because you are to unaccustomed to normal female companionship. Strippers are supposed to be the girls you party with, not the ones you write romantic ballads about.
I really don't want to derail this thread, but I haven't stopped chuckling since I read this comparison of strippers to Disney characters. Maybe I'm getting OTC girls in the wrong place, lmao. Next time I bring the little ones to Disney maybe I should see if Minnie Mouse wants to be bent over the side of my notel room bed afterwards getting her asked smacked while I pound away. 😂
Damn straight my brother from an ape mother. Maybe you write some dirty limericks, but no romantic ballads.
https://tuscl.net/article.php?id=58034
The world is shit, and we all feel cheated deep down. But you'll deal with that best by lowering your expectations. Not by venting on sex workers. They're already a group that's taken more shit than they deserve.
One of them lets me touch the pussy, take the pasties off which is apparently against the rules
But doesnt seem so willing for otc or wants ti charge over $1000’ for it
But if it feels like a crutch, listen to that feeling. Bars aren't the only place to meet women. Go onto an app, join a club or social event and meet people there. And get in your reps talking to women. You're going to fuck up talking to them, and realize that isn't the end of the world.
I started adult life awkward and used strip clubs to fill the gap. They helped but weren't what ultimately gave me "game." Lots of reps dating did that.
“I don't like to waste all my money.” - if you are wasting all your money, you are either not wealthy enough (yet) for SC’s, or you are over doing it. Dial this back.
“I've tried to quit several times…” - this is textbook addictive behavior. You need time with a solid counselor, not with strippers. This is nothing to be ashamed of, if you broke your leg you’d see a doctor, so see a counselor.
“I just like going to talk to girls because I don't know how to talk to them at bars.” - unless you’re very outgoing or a PUA, of course you don’t don’t know how to talk to women at bars. This is normal, esp in a world where online dating is how people meet. Quit wasting time hoping the right girl wandered into the bar at the same time as you, and get online. There are girls there that want to meet men for dates, even guys who have a hard time talking to girls.
“I get the sense that most strippers don't want to help you.” - they do not. Not any more than the gas station attendant, barista, waiter, or other service worker in your life. They want your BUSINESS. This doesn’t make them uncaring or inhuman, it just makes them professionals like everybody else. You won’t find help in a strip club.
My advice: stop going to clubs. Get a girlfriend in the normal way (online). Come back to the clubs when you are seeking a little diversion, not comfort.
Good luck, brother!
You are also a clubber who knows how to get a good dance price.
So, I don’t think you were too young for strip clubs. But, you likely were wise beyond your age at 25.
You were not the average young guy hitting the strip clubs.
It is similar to college - in an odd way. You can study and understand theory, but nothing can replace the knowledge gained from getting out there.
Emotional maturity is necessary and it requires years of experience.
Like $300’for an hour... or much more
I love the strippers especially if they break the rules for you. Playing with johnny, rubbing the pussy, removing pasties... i dont think id ever get in a relationship unless it was some rich lady paying for me
At the $800+ an hour range that is what famous pornstars and instagram models charge for an hour... so if you’re paying a stripper that much it is a lot to pay...
Not every club has negotiable dance prices...? Some seem
To have set dance prices for everyone that you pay up front...? There’s actually clubs where dancers personally agree on a price with each customer?
I’d suggest you figure out what you want to spend and bring it +$100. This way, you’ve got a little cushion and you won’t make a decision as to whether to get no dances, dances with one girl or a dance with the girl of your dreams at the end of the night based on that you have too little money. If you walk out of a club with $100 in your pocket, great. If you spent it all but had the time of your life, then as the commercial says “no regerts.” If you can’t afford the extra hundred, then just bring what you bring and tell yourself the last $100 in your pocket is only to be spent in case of emergencies like a stone cold ten wanting you to do tequila shots out of her ass crack.
Drew, unless he's a complete moron, I doubt he was really trying to say that his only option to meet women was to pick them up in bars. To me what he was saying is that he struggles to deal with women. I'm guessing he's had this problem all his life - guys like that often do. While I do agree with your ultimate advice, it sounds like he may have a lot of work ahead of him before he just grabs himself a GF online.
Just strike up a conversation with a girl who flirts with you. Anywhere. Grocery store your apt building wherever. If she likes how you look it doesn't really matter what you say all that much.
Strippers tend to be open to going out with. Not p4p. Guys they actually connect with. Or guys who promise to spend money on them.
But if you go just hoping a girl will approach you do all the work and seduce you. That's extremely rare. And especially in that setting
I want to do otc what is that for an hour for the hotter strippers
I like the rule bending strippers...
What kind of situations does this happen in, how often are guys pimping out their wives/gfs. Is it due to money problems or why does it seem so common. Seems to be a modern day thing
Assume that, with AT LEAST 50% of strippers, after the first dance, you will not want a second (ever). So it's a big advantage when you're at a club where you can get a single-song dance. The vast majority of good dances that I get are from established favs. So I'm skeptical of clubs that cater to out-of-town PLs, as their dancers are unlikely to focus on making you want to come back regularly.
It's sad in a way, but strippers will see you as a nice guy if you are simply polite and pleasant. But exactly what they consider to be polite and pleasant varies, since people. I find that, even if she's smoking hot, she won't be the funnest fav if she's uptight, can't enjoy some bent humor. But, it's a Catch 22 if you expect then to go to town on Mr. Happy cause they think you're nice. That attitude tells them you are actually not nice. Strippers are the right option if you can leave the club happy with two way, non-rough, no mouth contact. More than that will make you happier, but you don't count on it. Otherwise, look into seeing escorts. In my experience, the quantity and quality of adult entertainment options vary HUGELY depending on where you live. So if AE is an important hobby for you, pick where you live accordingly.
Strip-clubs are first-and-foremost a BUSINESS – they are there to make $$$ and make as much of it as possible – as we say around here “a strip-club is not a girlfriend supermarket” – a strip-club is not a singles-bar nor the place to go looking for love or a girlfriend.
If girls don’t give you the time of day in the real-world, what makes you think, or entitled, to them giving you the time of day in a strip-club – most of these girls already have an S.O. in the real world or can get one fairly-easily – they go to the club to MAKE MONEY, it’s their job – it’s how they pay the rent, their car-payment, and feed their kids if they have any – on top of that dancers have to pay the club to work there so they are already in the hole when they start their shift – so why would they sit their during their WORKING hours and talk to you for free – it’s their job to make you feel like they are into you just like it’s a waitress's job in a restaurant to bring you your food and periodically ask you if you want anything else; i.e. they are doing their job.
Dancers in strip-cubs are willing to give attention to custies in exchange for $$$ - it’s a 2-way-street – you pay for a service (attention/convo, dances, etc) , and the dancer provides that service like any other BUSINESS.
As has been said – strip clubs are kinda make-believe – the dancers pretend they like us, and we pretend to believe them – strip-clubs are about having access to women one either wouldn’t have access to in the real world, or have immediate-access to women w/o having to wine-and-dine them and investing time and energy to hopefully get something.
In essence – strip-clubs are pay-to-play – there are no free-lunches in life least of all in strip-clubs – as a custy your job is to try and get fair-value/service for your $$$ spent.
Strip-clubs will never be a substitute for a genuine-relationship – at the end of the day it’s a business-relationship and the best result is where both parties get what they want/need (custy gets companionship from an attractive-girl; dancer gets $$$ for her time and services).
Strip-clubs are at best a *remedy*, not a *solution* to being lonely – nothing wrong w/ strip-clubs and having fun in them as long as one knows what they are and what they-are-not – IMO nothing wrong w/ having fun in a strip-club vs sitting-at-home lonely/depressed/hard-up; but one needs to know and accept that kinda fun requires $$$ b/c the girls are there to provide a service and make-a-living not run some kinda charity for lonely-guys.
You're saying you don't? I thought every dad who brought their kids to Disney tried to bang one of the Disney Princesses.
Back to being on topic. I don't have a lot of experience with online dating. Okay, I have none. But, aren't there a fair number of bad actors out there too? Catfishing is a thing. Not trying to scare the guy off women altogether here, but the reality is the world isn't a safe and cozy place. Online or not.
Some strippers allow pussy touching. But only with a flat hand and rubbing, no fingering. Apparently she doesnt want fingers because of bacteria concerns. Is that true
Will strippers avoid kissing on the mouth? What about you sucking on their boobs
You mentioned no mouth contact
Do strippers and escorts with bfs or husbands usually tell them about their jobs or keep it secret
One of the dances i got, she actually licked my ears all over and bit them! It was crazy
Dont strippers have an issue with LTRs since while many guys may want to have fun with them, many guys may not be okay with dating someone who is a stripper or escort...
Are there strippers who actually lie and tell customers they love them
How common is OTC and how do you initiate it. It seems there are many concerns on both sides like physical safety, legal safety, infection concerns from sex, etc...
I mean go ahead and keep responding if that's fun for you, but siracha isn't actually looking for answers.
I think, to some degree, my personal preferences enter into this. A few dancers have grabbed the back of my head and slammed their nipples into my mouth. After that, sucking a reluctant boob pretty much loses any appeal.
"Two way contact" means you can touch her and she will touch you anywhere below the neck except the genital/butthole area. "Rough" is trickier, individual for the dancer, so best to err on the side of caution. It will make the dance tense if she has to tell you you're being too rough.
Yes, maintaining a relationship with an SO is harder for strippers than people in general.
Only had one stripper tell me she loved. She also said she should have my baby before I was too old to have one.
Many strippers, perhaps at a higher rate than people in generally, have extremely toxic personalities. They are too toxic to have long-term regulars (unless the regular is extremely self-hating). So they will try many quick cons. The most common one is convincing you that you have a shot at being their boyfriend.
I am looking for answers
Or is it simply due to the regulars just finding other clubs and strippers they’re attracted to
This one stripper drives me crazy with her rule breaking, but she seems to have concerns with otc and fingering. She also has kids already
You mentioned boyfriend pimps
Is there a specific look to the husband or boyfriend pimps? I thought it would be a drug addict or emasculated type of guy being a boyfriend pimp but this one looks normal? Idk if she is an escort but she strips and allows pussy touching and etc. why would the guy allow it since he doesnt look like an addict or anything. Are some guys just okay with dating strippers who let guys touch them everywhere. Is it considered not cheating if the girl doesnt allow fingering or sex but allowe everything else
An interesting note about social skills is that I truly believe that going to strip clubs has helped me to be more confident in my social and professional interactions - especially with young, attractive women.
Bacon?
Any experienced with this? Whats a reasonable rate to pay for an hour meeting once a month? $300 is pretty good, once a month for an hour?
I did browse some profiles on the seeking website, i dont know if its the right one. Website is called seeking, not seeking arrangement
The majority of the quality was very disappointing compared to eros or tryst...
Answer: Spend your money on world travel.
"First off - if you go to clubs - you should post a few reviews." yes, please do.
"I just like going to talk to girls because I don't know how to talk to them at bars" can you talk to them other places? Then you can talk to them at bars. Practice. Start with simple safe things. Don't push it. the idea is to get comfortable approaching a woman. Build on the confidence.
Be interesting. read. go to movies, art galleries, concerts, take up a hobby or two. "Spend your money on world travel." You will have interesting things to discuss with a woman. Women like spending time with interesting men. You will have date ideas.
"They just say that you SHOULD go to the club and spend your hard earned money." every service provider in my life says i should hire them more often and get add on services. my mechanic, my landscaper, my barber all want me to spend more for their services. I discuss what i will get for my money. then i decide if i am buying or not. This same tactic works with strippers.