All this talk of TUSCLers meeting F2F to settle their "disagreements" got me thinking.
If there was a TUSCL street fighting tournament, no weapons but no holds barred (think the olden days of UFC), all fights 1 on 1 and ending when one party surrenders or gets knocked out, who would win?
^ Groin shots are legal, tying up is (k)not.
Winex wanted to fight me last year but I haven’t seen the guy around. I don’t wanna fight anyone here, I love you all :)
Maybe skibum though I hate that guy.
Can a phone a friend?
^ No countouts. You're surrounded by a chain-link fence cage topped with razor wire.
It would absolute rick victory - a ricktory if you will.
Then the defeated would sit in the Florida sun for a few days and become a yummy yummy yummy in my vulture tummy tummy tummy treat.
Squawk!
I can bet my money on Skibum getting knocked out first,
Twentyfive wins by unanimous decision.
This is actually a fascinating question, given that you're all AARP members and never pass up an opportunity to pick up a can of Metamucil.
At what point does being too damn old nix old-man strength?
^^^^I think that's what Tetradon is banking on. He's like me in his early forties so the thought of taking on some dude in his 60s or 70s doesn't seem that scary. Plus he's bragged about lifting heavy weights and shit like that so he's probably a pretty built dude. Then again, Hulk Hogan is 68 and I bet he'd still kick all our asses.
Still, from some of the talk and descriptions I've heard on here I think there are a few people whose bark is much bigger than their bite.
Kinda funny speculation at this point but not much point to it.
40, 6'3, 215... But if I throw a punch I'm probably dislocating my sorta-repaired shoulder. So I can rope-a-dope until Matlock comes on or the old fogies get winded, whichever happens first.
^ 6'9", 320# of solid muscle with a BJJ black belt, a Muay Thai championship, and a 10.5" cock. Like everyone else on the internet.
WOW. You should be a UFC champ / porn star.
My surgeon used to work for the Steelers, Suns, Diamondbacks, etc. When I woke up he told me I had the worst shoulder injury he'd ever seen. I was so proud. Then 7 months of rehab later, he said I'd gotten it back to "every day" use again, but no more basketball, no more football, no more baseball, no more surfing. And apparently, as Tommy Shelby would say, "no fooking fighting" either - felt it shift when I hit one of those bags they have in bars. It was really really bad, though...I was dislocating it all the time. Happened flipping the bird at a red light, happened when I reached out the shake the bartender's hand as I was leaving one night. The thing was literally hanging on by a thread.
Whatever goes on, I hope this song is playing in the background:
HAHAHAHA! That was amazing. It would have immediately become my all-time favorite song if it ended after the first verse, with Optimus Prime coming to save the day. But noooooooooo, Godzilla had to bite off his head. What an asshole.
Merrick Garland would file an injunction to stop it. So we'd have to move it to TJ. Then SJGs mercenary army of chicolastica paradas, paid $20 each, would slaughter all of us.
I know with Juice you could take some bitcoins and throw them over in the corner of the ring to distract him and then sneak up and do the submission hold.
What could distract other PLs?
A new Huffy bike with streamers on the handlebars for SJG?
A nicely dressed tranny for LDK82?
San Jose Gay standing nude with a bottle of Prosecco for Subraman?
Pics and vids for CJ Kent?
A new set of kitchen knives for BlahBlahBlah23?
An Olive Garden gift card and Rick Dugan holding a rose in his mouth for NiceSpice?
Oh come on. No chicowhatever would do anything. The TJ hookers (but not Captain Kirk) would recognize enough people and not allow their golden geese to die. They'd call their cartel pimps who'd bring in their cartel armies to wipe out the chico army.
Let’s not forget this would be Royal Rumble Ii
Troop v. Doc Holliday was the original
Nah. This would be the theme for all of us old farts.....
There can be only one!!!!
Hell, I'll take a bottle of Scotch and an Olive Garden gift card - those bread sticks are great. Don't need a dude or a rose, though.
Y'all are just so fucking impressive. Too bad Eva lost all her money......
My money would be on RicktheLion
Oh course if RicktheHipppo ever shows up we have new favorite.
I'll be there with my Desert Eagle and i'll bring a few extra magazines, just in case more than expected show up
Based on the descriptions of El Dude and Tetradon - they will likely be the last men standing. I know Warrior stays fit and strong - so he should be in the running too.
I think Blah might pull an upset by concealing a knife in her g string - and turn it into a blood bath!
@ElDuderino_AZ
You wrote and I quote:
“The thing (your shoulder) was literally hanging on by a thread.”
MRI and Ultrasound along Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.
:D
Just be careful out there and don’t injure it again.
Fit and strong really has very little to do with fighting. Gym muscles make people look tougher, but doesn't make them tougher. If there are no weapons involved the winner of the fight is the one least afraid of being hit in the face. For a glance at blah's goodies I would be fine with her pulling a knife from behind the g-string. The undertaker would have to break my jaw to get the smile off my face.......
Forget the no weapons, a gladiator match!
SJG
^^^ the library must be closed on Sunday’s. You didn’t post yesterday and now you have 5 hours to spam the board while telling us how busy you are with sensitive personal affairs while everybody penetrates LoydSchoene’s firewall!
Meat72, have you completed your grave digger retraining yet?
SJG
^^^ stfu L1oydSchoene! That’s some privacy wall you for there, kind of like the organization you’re (not) building💪!
^ There are no privacy walls in a fistfight. This isn't professional wrestling where you can hide behind a mask either.
No, but in a gladiator fight you can permanently vanquish a foe. That is unless he is a zombie, then you will need an open hearth furnace to give him or her a 2800 deg F cremation.
SJG
In which case you better learn some neck cranks and other holds that can kill.
^^^^ Most definitely. But I also would be using deadly weapons.
Some people think I would like to engage in bar fights. Absolutely not. I only engage in violence when I plan to take a scalp. There is absolutely nothing fair about it. It is not even a fight, it is an execution.
SJG
^ I set the rules here. And the rules are if you draw a weapon you get picked off before you can get the working end free.
Maybe you'd be able to say those words before you expired, maybe.
SJG
I insist on Brooklyn rules
I'm talking about four guards with high powered rifles overlooking the octagon.
My rules. You no likey, start your own tournament.
Brooklyn rules bro my boys will take your guards out before the rum👹👹
My extra guards will take out your boys. And the last words they'll ever hear are "why the fuck did you come to the aid of Sir Huffy?"
I ain’t coming to anyone’s aid Brooklyn rules lol
San Jose rules, the other side is dead before the event is even scheduled.
Former Mayor Tom McEnry explains about Michael "Mick" McDonnell, one of Mike Collins's 12 apostles.
SJG
SJGOATFUCKER 💪 internet tuff guy! OM fucking SJ”G”oatfucker can only post while the library is open, then you go tend to your private affairs after spamming this board for 5 hours daily. F2f you have no accomplishments to back up your words. SJG’s mouth writes checks his butt can’t cash!
San Jose rules, the internet gets cut off at 5:30 Pacific.
But the adversaries are eliminated the night before.
That's San Jose rules, and that was what Mick McDonnell did.
" Nearly 100 years ago, McDonnell was the first leader of "The Squad," a.k.a. "The Twelve Apostles," the assassination unit employed by Michael Collins during the Irish War of Independence.
The Squad systematically bumped off a number of British spies, and their story is the subject of several books, including a new one by Irish historian Tim Pat Coogan. Before the Squad was formed, McDonnell took part in the Easter Rising of 1916 and then, with the Twelve Apostles, had a hand in the actions of Bloody Sunday. "
This kind of stuff is not a sporting match.
SJG
^ And you've gotten eliminated the night before you pulled anything, leaving the rest of TUSCL to fight it out in peace.
Daddillac vs. RickDugan opens the night.
Ring girls come from Providence's finest clubs (except the two hottest, who "accompany" me to my ringside seats).
Yeah, but things are done before there are even any discussions.
SJG
Which would require time travel, at this point.
Don't worry, I'll let you pass out fliers for the sex cult. But No RSMOS (ringside make out sessions).
No rings, except in your imagination. You still don't understand, just corpses.
SJG
^ We're talking about a TUSCL fighting tournament, not your sexual tastes.
^^^ Neither, we are talking about an extermination.
SJG
Lol. I started this thread as a semi-joke, but you seem to be taking yourself a little too seriously.
Perhaps if you could better pick up on social cues, you wouldn't be struggling to recruit members of a monger board to a sex cult.
Tetradon, you sound like you want to rumble with yourself. Do it.
SJG
I think Nidan111 would win the TUSCL Royal Rumble, because he said he has 40 years of martial arts experiences including championships...
^ Stop being so sensitive. Come watch the show and actually see some strippers. Might do ya some good.
^ That was to SJG
Tetradon, my f2f life is private, don't get exterminated by challenging that.
SJG
Again with the misdirected anger and inability to pick up on social cues. You and Dave_Anderson, your penises have a long-overdue appointment with a woman's mouth.
Rather than buy VIP here, to read reviews of strip clubs you don't go to, why don't you save up to get san_jose_junior a little sucky-sucky?
You are the one who misses social cues. I'll get you a billy club so you can beat up on yourself.
In the mean time, best if you STFU
You're free to vanish from this thread, like you will in a few minutes anyways because of your poor life choices.
Again, you are making implications and claims to know something about my life, my "life choices". You do not, you are just an imbecile.
SJG
I know you choose to spend hours on end trolling an obscure strip club message board, yet struggle to find internet access. I know you can't recruit guys to a sex cult despite 7 years here.
The results speak for themselves. Your life is one of incompetence and poor decision-making. You. Are. BORING!
Tetradon, you know nothing about me. But know this, the patience I would show with you f2f would be less than 1 microsecond.
SJG
Again with the threats. You want F2F anything, read my reviews, you'll know where I club and when. Buy a plane ticket.
But you won't, because the only "wet work" you'd do around me (or 90% of the rest of this board) is pissing your pants.
Because you're a joke.
I think the library is closing soon, so SJGoatfucker has to GTFO😆!
I could scare yall if I wanted to
^ Funny, for all his shit talk and Privacy Wall of Not Very Nice Things(TM), he won't take the initiative to settle anything himself.
SJG, you know where to find me, sugar tits.
@cjkent - ha, it WAS hanging on by a thread. Sort of repaired now. I tried to play basketball a few months after he told me no more, and about two mins into the game I realized why: I went up for a rebound, felt it shift, and when I landed I pretended to roll my ankle, so I could bail.
Sucked though. First dislocated it when I was about 10. I was a pitcher, QB, and played basketball growing up... dislocated it all the time, always was sore after throwing but thought it was supposed to hurt. Nolan Ryan and Dan Marino always had theirs iced and wrapped, right? In high school I'd dislocate it at least once every game. Just never realized how bad that was. I'd pop it back into place while running up the floor and kinda just shake it off. Didn't want to look like a pussy! There were girls in the stands! And then 20 years later I see NBA guys crying and sitting out for 3 weeks when they do it once. Pfft... Over the years I did it hundreds of times. Definitely don't want to hurt that again though!
Anyone else notice that while Tetradon was going back and forth with that moron, the rest of the board was relatively quiet? I think he only managed to get in two quick bumps (probably while Tetradon took a quick bathroom break). Lol
^ I believe the phrase you're looking for is "you're welcome."
While he's on his way east to put his money where his mouth is, you'll get 5-6 hours of blessed silence.
And I do some of my best troll busting from the porcelain throne.
^ thank you, not you're welcome lol. Long day.
Yep - thanks bro! We might have to start taking shifts to keep this guy occupied.
Why would anyone take the time for you? Why don't you fly out to the bay area? You never would
The paradas will remember you riding past them in the HK club shuttle bus. They will swarm you and kill you with glee, with SJG's $20 just being a side bonus.
I dumpa load in da ring! MACKIE FOR DA WIN!!!!!!
It would be a knock down stink out.... hahahahah
LOL! Funny thread! I think Blahblah would kick all your asses! My money is on her.
My niece is 13. She could beat the shit out of SJG and ICEE. Banana pudding is scarier than you two dweebs.
"Why would anyone take the time for you? Why don't you fly out to the bay area? You never would"
Look who's making threats to "exterminate" and "leave corpses."
Funny, both of you have a history of dodging F2F meetings.
SJG trying to spar with someone online is the equivalent to Stephen Hawking trying to make his own bed.
prevert would win. Hands down. Unless your background and training are similar to his, no one here stands a chance.
No one mentioned 20fag. He was always threatening people.
^ I obviously own you Iceefag, I'm in your head PAYING NO RENT 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
^ ICEE vs. 25 added to the card?
I/m up for it, problem is you've got another ghost that won't show LOL
I only threaten niggas who need to be corrected by a night stick!
^ Probably wouldn't be much of a match, I'll sneeze he'll be gone even if he really showed up.
^ Any ICEE fights will take place at a black strip club. Because I want to see what happens when he calls himself a "nigga."
SJG and I are proud to announce that the organization we are building will be sponsoring the tuscl Battle Royale. At each contest of fisticuffs, the winner of the fight will get to fuck one of the fat, ghetto, cellulite-ridden, pimply female golems we are recruiting for our organization. Loser will have to fuck two of them.
You're welcome, and good luck, you noodle-armed try-hards!
^ I'm willing to take a dive now that subra's chimed in to save Icee fags ass, how much are you offering subraman ?
:) :) :)
SJG
Tetradon I use nigga with black niggaz. It's not a problem.
Winners should get rained on and fuck hood rats on stage after the fight. 😭
^ Lol. I don't think you'd make it to the ring. 25 wins by forfeit.
Twenty 5 is living in Icey's head for free. Icey's head is full of shit. What a shitty apartment. Not worth it even for free. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
20 fag is obsessed with me. Keeps down voting my posts even when I don't talk to him and have him blocked.
🤡🤡🤡
^ For someone who claims to have me on ignore you sure make lots of comments referencing me Icee fag
My money would be on Cashman. He's more experienced at tying people up. Unless nicespice can kick him in the balls and take him down.