I think I would have stopped my younger self from going into the club and immediately drove my younger self to Michaels craft store and bought my some yarn and knitting needles and convince him to take up knitting as a hobby instead of strip clubbing.
I'd say - don't be such a pussy, and go enjoy the pussy! I had to be dragged into a club my first time, and I was very reluctant to partake in anything except putting a couple of 1s in G-strings. It took a little bit, but I was "all in" after that.
Shit, not that my younger self would have listened, but...
* Don't buy those bottles of champagne! It is never ever worth it.*
* Keep the Amex in your pocket! If you can't pay for it with cash, you can't afford it today.*
* Don't drive that stripper from Vegas to L.A. for her custody court date! An overnight on the road blowjob is not worth the brain damage you'll get fighting out of L.A. traffic while exhausted from no sleep.*
* Don't ask the girl why she's working at the club AFTER she just blew you in the CR! She'll just storm off angry, which she should. She's there for the money and you're there too, so don't be a hypocrite.*
I'm sure I'll think of others. I paid my tuition and made my mistakes like anyone, but fortunately I never went over the deep end.
Happy 18th birthday! But this is gonna be a lot more fun when you can drink...and when you bring more than $20. And every stripper is being honest; they all totally want you. Their mothers told them to tell the truth, too.
1. They'll say anything to separate you from your money, but it still might be worth it.
2. After 3 lap dances, you know her moves and what you're going to get.
3. It never gets better "next time." Take the L and move on.
4. If you want a dance from her, the second she's free, you have to pounce like a cat. She might not make it back around.
5. Shift change (usually ~6:30-8:00) is a great time to leave, grab a nice dinner, then come back for the night shift.
6. Dancers couldn't be on time for their own funerals.
7. Never negotiate while your dick is hard.
8. Never take the "tour of the club."
9. If they play porn, it is an extras club.
10. Do your research. Once an ROB, always an ROB.
11. Most are not "damsels in distress." They can make a pretty good living doing this and don't want to be "saved."
12. She might like you as a person, but she doesn't love you.
13. Know the "unwritten rules" and etiquette of the club. Is it a regulars club? Can dancers set their own prices?
14. On every club trip, have a nearby backup in case the lineup at your first choice is lame.
15. Teach your newbie friends the rules of the game, but some lessons are only learned the hard way.
1) Don't bother clubbing locally around Cincinnati - it is worth the couple hour drive to better clubs
2) Ask for what you want instead of just settling for basic lapdances - BJs, sex and OTC are available when you find the right girl
3) Join TUSCL immediately to learn where the better clubs are
4) Always negotiate before you go back for a VIP room and don't give her the money until she gives you what she agreed to
5) Don't only go when the club is packed on Friday and Saturday nights because some of the most fun can be had on a weekday afternoon
6) Cash only - leave your credit cards and debit card at home
7) When you find a girl you really enjoy get her phone number so you can keep track when she changes clubs (or too just skip the club and meet OTC)
Holy shit. I could write a book the size of a dictionary:
1. Don't go in. Concentrate on your career and enjoy an early retirement.
2. Only pursue OTC with dancers you are extremely attracted to. Mild attraction is not worth the time or money.
3. There is very little upside to gifting, helping out with rent, car repairs etc..these ladies forget all that immediately.
4. No mercy dances or succumbing to high hustle dances.
5. Be generous and don't sweat the small stuff like song count etc..within reason.
6. Never say anything to a dancer more than two sentences long. They don't have the attention span.
7. Never say anything negative in any way. Talk about fun things happening in the club in front of both of you.
8. When doing OTC have a very specific game plan. Time, place, $, start with massage, bring sex toy. These ladies will show up, the rest is up to you. They're not attracted to you in the slightest so get your head around it.
9. You'll be stunned at the quality of young beautiful women willing to do hotel time with your fugly ass.
10. Turn around and don't go in!!!
I could do dozens more. It's an expensive education.
16. Ask for what you want. But if the answer is “no,” accept it and move on. You won’t change her mind.
17. If you want a busy dancer’s attention, your best bet is to ask another dancer. They are surprisingly cool with this.
18. Next best is to ask the doorman or VIP attendant. They often know the day’s lineup, and are better than dancers to tell you who leaves happy.
19. Extras can be fun, but you’ll have some of your best times without them.
20. Set a strip club budget for the MONTH, not the day or the week, and don’t exceed it. Not using credit or debit cards should go without saying.
21. If you think you have a problem with strip clubs, you have a problem. Don’t let the hobby consume your life. Set boundaries.
22. If you think you’ve had too much to drink, you passed that threshold two drinks ago.
23. Don’t let strip clubs substitute for civvie dating, but each can enhance the other.
24. Scout the day’s lineup before taking one to VIP. Choose the best one, not the first one you talk to.
25. Be wary of hard-sellers. They turn into up-sellers.
26. If she isn’t a native English speaker, knowing even a little of her native tongue works wonders.
27. Don’t be afraid to approach her if she’s on her phone. But if she keeps looking at her phone while you’re talking to her, leave.
28. You’re never the first guy she’s done “that” with. You won’t be the last.
29. YMMV. It ALWAYS does. She could be having a bad day. Chalk it up to the game.
30. Roughly half a strip club’s roster is long-timers, and half newbies who turn over. Sometimes you want old reliable, sometimes something new.
31. If you keep feeling disappointed or shafted after going to your regular club, give it a break for a few months.
32. ITC sex lacks a lot of the elements that make sex special, like foreplay and kissing. But it has a subversive thrill.
33. Regarding bringing friends to the strip club, sometimes the most outgoing or fun-loving guy doesn’t make the best SC companion. Naked women make some friends do strange things.
34. However, if female friends call your prospective guest “creepy” or “scary,” dancers will too.
35. You will build a special bond with a friend if you buy him pussy.
36. Bachelor party strip club trips are HIGHLY overrated. You will only have as much fun as your least-fun friend there, and less dancer time as you have to buy the bachelor dances or talk to your friends.
37. You never have to tip beyond the negotiated rate, even if she hassles or threatens you.
38. If she asks for a drink, make sure it’s priced the same as yours.
39. See #6, it takes two hours into a shift before you know the shift’s lineup. But at that point, it won’t get better.
40. Per #27, don’t be afraid to approach her if she’s talking to another dancer.
41. If she gets bitchy or pissy when she sees you with another girl, avoid her. Do not reinforce her bad behavior. No dancer has a right to your cash.
42. Per #10 and #14, do triple your amount of research in a new city. If a club is out of the way, it might be your only shot. Make it count.
43. Don’t just research that club, research even clubs you don’t see yourself hitting. Know what’s normal for the city.
44. When on a business trip, faking a stomach bug is the best way to get away from forced coworker social time, and get in some club time. No one questions diarrhea.
45. Don’t look too out of place. Out-of-towner, dressed too well screams “mark.”
46. When getting several dances, count the number of songs out loud, particularly if the DJ is crossfading them.
47. One great club session beats 10 mediocre ones. Sometimes you have to let it all out. But per #20, adjust your budget accordingly.
48. Corollary to #12, be a normal human fucking being. You aren’t going to have some witty line she’s never heard before, or impress her by insulting her. Asking her real name or if she has a boyfriend is cliché at best, creepy at worst.
49. There are months you will want to club your ass off, and others you will want to take a break. This is natural.
50. Like is said in The Hangover, some people can’t handle Vegas. Well, some people can’t handle strip clubs. Strip clubbing CAN be part of a balanced, fulfilling life, but it requires you to have control over your penis and wallet, two things many guys don’t have. Know thyself.
To my 18 year old self: Abandon your rail sitting, beer drinking pals and get some dances from those damn fine topless or nude honeys you're staring at in jaw dropped amazement.
To myself in my 30s: Dude, you fucking blew it by not clubbing and missing the golden age of San Francisco clubs (MBOT, etc.)
To my middle age self of 5 years ago at the commencement of my frequent clubbing: Pretty much everything Tetradon says above.
Go back to the hotel and change out of those jeans into some thin slacks. And while you're at it, do some pregaming once you get back to the hotel. Those strip club mixed drinks cost a ton in Vegas.
Don't keep your hands at the side, she's gonna wonder why you're not touching her. Grab her boobs, touch her ass, it's THAT kind of club.
Don't position your dick to where the dancer can't feel it (yes I actually did that dumb shit). The whole point of a lap dance is for the dancer to grind on your dick and it feels really good.
Don't just get one dance, string a few of them together and it's a much better experience, especially since your first dancer will be amazing.
Dump yer idiot boyfriend, and go ahead and start dancing three years ahead of schedule just to spite him. You are hotter than you think you are and will have no problems making money. And social skills aren’t needed if you just “wanna dance”these dudes. Oh, and stock up on pleasers big time before the quality starts taking a huge negative hit.
And ignore his comments after you both just visited the club about how horrible life is for a dancer, and not worth doing. While at it, ignore his comments his negative comments about thirsty simp guys and modern culture raising dudes horribly…because time will prove him to be a big time projector and you will keep hearing from him.
He acted like you dancing will make you lower value and he won’t talk to you again, but three years after you two hung out for the last time (and he was a jackass) you will see him from across the room at a club, and he will say nothing about that but a few days later be DMing wanting to get coffee. When you had already politely declined the other similar invitations made once in a blue moon…like maybe once every six months?
Over five years after you guys have hung out for the last time, and after you completely stopped bothering to give polite responses to DMs, he’s sending a friend request on social media. (Yesterday in fact lol) Why in the heck are you going to later on get emotionally worked up over his nonsense when he starts some drama in a few months from now?
Oh yeah, and that guy who is your boyfriend’s friend, don’t mind me, just going to steal his car keys now before he ends up sneaking out of the club, flipping his vehicle over, and getting his 3rd or so DWI/DUI charge.
When you're 40, and ending one of your many summer staycations with a Tuesday afternoon of booze and boobs, and the hot brunette grinding around on your lap says, "OMG, you feel so fucking good. You have to get my number when we're done here," do NOT text her later asking if she wants to come over to your house and continue.
That would be terribly offensive, and you were supposed to know that when she said that in between moans while maneuvering herself to get full boner effect, it meant she wanted to date you, not hook up...
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
+ no your dick is not REALLY-BIG like the strippers tell you (I was hoping I had just been looking at it from the wrong-angle bc surely strippers would know better 😁)
+ don't ask a stripper what's wrong - you are often opening a pandora's box
+ 99.9% a stripper offers you her # is not bc she's really into you - she's just trying to make you into a regular source of income
I would not tell myself not to go hang out with a stripper married to a guy with a karate black belt at their house. Because that actually worked out fine. Her husband was cool to hang with too. His big flaw was that he would get torqued with her when she wasn't in the mood. Which is a fast way to kill off someone sexual interest in you.
Sheeeeiiit. Dollar for dollar I had more fun when I was my younger self. Back then it was a rush to stage tip and talk to a near naked hottie for minute or so. I'd ask him how did I have so much fun with just that.
I told the girlfriend of one of my ATFs that she could stay in my spare bedroom if she wanted. We had all gone for sushi, and my ATF psycho went off on her. But she declined. I think it would have been fine, she seemed pretty chill. She did slam by ATF into a wall once, but I found that understandable.
Let a dancer know you're waiting for someone else if you aren't interested and don't let a dancer "claim" you(r money). Also ask about cost before agreeing to a dance.
Its less than most lessons learned but my early clubbing days I would waste money on pity dances with strippers who spent a long time talking to me even if I wanted to try something new or wasn't attracted to them.
39 comments
*Almost* everything is negotiable.
Don't pay up front.
Next time, bring more than $53.
* Don't buy those bottles of champagne! It is never ever worth it.*
* Keep the Amex in your pocket! If you can't pay for it with cash, you can't afford it today.*
* Don't drive that stripper from Vegas to L.A. for her custody court date! An overnight on the road blowjob is not worth the brain damage you'll get fighting out of L.A. traffic while exhausted from no sleep.*
* Don't ask the girl why she's working at the club AFTER she just blew you in the CR! She'll just storm off angry, which she should. She's there for the money and you're there too, so don't be a hypocrite.*
I'm sure I'll think of others. I paid my tuition and made my mistakes like anyone, but fortunately I never went over the deep end.
2. After 3 lap dances, you know her moves and what you're going to get.
3. It never gets better "next time." Take the L and move on.
4. If you want a dance from her, the second she's free, you have to pounce like a cat. She might not make it back around.
5. Shift change (usually ~6:30-8:00) is a great time to leave, grab a nice dinner, then come back for the night shift.
6. Dancers couldn't be on time for their own funerals.
7. Never negotiate while your dick is hard.
8. Never take the "tour of the club."
9. If they play porn, it is an extras club.
10. Do your research. Once an ROB, always an ROB.
11. Most are not "damsels in distress." They can make a pretty good living doing this and don't want to be "saved."
12. She might like you as a person, but she doesn't love you.
13. Know the "unwritten rules" and etiquette of the club. Is it a regulars club? Can dancers set their own prices?
14. On every club trip, have a nearby backup in case the lineup at your first choice is lame.
15. Teach your newbie friends the rules of the game, but some lessons are only learned the hard way.
Don't carry guilt feelings.
She won't leave you just for feeling titties 😏
Overall I would say, using strip clubs or P4P for sexual gratification is perverted. You want to be looking beyond that.
SJG
2) Ask for what you want instead of just settling for basic lapdances - BJs, sex and OTC are available when you find the right girl
3) Join TUSCL immediately to learn where the better clubs are
4) Always negotiate before you go back for a VIP room and don't give her the money until she gives you what she agreed to
5) Don't only go when the club is packed on Friday and Saturday nights because some of the most fun can be had on a weekday afternoon
6) Cash only - leave your credit cards and debit card at home
7) When you find a girl you really enjoy get her phone number so you can keep track when she changes clubs (or too just skip the club and meet OTC)
Transmitting Viruses
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=7649…
SJG
1. Don't go in. Concentrate on your career and enjoy an early retirement.
2. Only pursue OTC with dancers you are extremely attracted to. Mild attraction is not worth the time or money.
3. There is very little upside to gifting, helping out with rent, car repairs etc..these ladies forget all that immediately.
4. No mercy dances or succumbing to high hustle dances.
5. Be generous and don't sweat the small stuff like song count etc..within reason.
6. Never say anything to a dancer more than two sentences long. They don't have the attention span.
7. Never say anything negative in any way. Talk about fun things happening in the club in front of both of you.
8. When doing OTC have a very specific game plan. Time, place, $, start with massage, bring sex toy. These ladies will show up, the rest is up to you. They're not attracted to you in the slightest so get your head around it.
9. You'll be stunned at the quality of young beautiful women willing to do hotel time with your fugly ass.
10. Turn around and don't go in!!!
I could do dozens more. It's an expensive education.
• Keep a backup supply of antibiotics so you don't have to get a prescription every time you are... let's say worried about something.
• Sexy headcases are fun right until they're not. Learn when to bailout before it becomes a shit show.
• Don't ever date a stripper. You can't handle her job no matter what you think.
• FFS if she is nodding off at the bar then she is never a good candidate for OTC, no matter how hot she is.
Anyway I'm sure I'll think of some others, lol.
17. If you want a busy dancer’s attention, your best bet is to ask another dancer. They are surprisingly cool with this.
18. Next best is to ask the doorman or VIP attendant. They often know the day’s lineup, and are better than dancers to tell you who leaves happy.
19. Extras can be fun, but you’ll have some of your best times without them.
20. Set a strip club budget for the MONTH, not the day or the week, and don’t exceed it. Not using credit or debit cards should go without saying.
21. If you think you have a problem with strip clubs, you have a problem. Don’t let the hobby consume your life. Set boundaries.
22. If you think you’ve had too much to drink, you passed that threshold two drinks ago.
23. Don’t let strip clubs substitute for civvie dating, but each can enhance the other.
24. Scout the day’s lineup before taking one to VIP. Choose the best one, not the first one you talk to.
25. Be wary of hard-sellers. They turn into up-sellers.
26. If she isn’t a native English speaker, knowing even a little of her native tongue works wonders.
27. Don’t be afraid to approach her if she’s on her phone. But if she keeps looking at her phone while you’re talking to her, leave.
28. You’re never the first guy she’s done “that” with. You won’t be the last.
29. YMMV. It ALWAYS does. She could be having a bad day. Chalk it up to the game.
30. Roughly half a strip club’s roster is long-timers, and half newbies who turn over. Sometimes you want old reliable, sometimes something new.
31. If you keep feeling disappointed or shafted after going to your regular club, give it a break for a few months.
32. ITC sex lacks a lot of the elements that make sex special, like foreplay and kissing. But it has a subversive thrill.
33. Regarding bringing friends to the strip club, sometimes the most outgoing or fun-loving guy doesn’t make the best SC companion. Naked women make some friends do strange things.
34. However, if female friends call your prospective guest “creepy” or “scary,” dancers will too.
35. You will build a special bond with a friend if you buy him pussy.
36. Bachelor party strip club trips are HIGHLY overrated. You will only have as much fun as your least-fun friend there, and less dancer time as you have to buy the bachelor dances or talk to your friends.
37. You never have to tip beyond the negotiated rate, even if she hassles or threatens you.
38. If she asks for a drink, make sure it’s priced the same as yours.
39. See #6, it takes two hours into a shift before you know the shift’s lineup. But at that point, it won’t get better.
40. Per #27, don’t be afraid to approach her if she’s talking to another dancer.
41. If she gets bitchy or pissy when she sees you with another girl, avoid her. Do not reinforce her bad behavior. No dancer has a right to your cash.
42. Per #10 and #14, do triple your amount of research in a new city. If a club is out of the way, it might be your only shot. Make it count.
43. Don’t just research that club, research even clubs you don’t see yourself hitting. Know what’s normal for the city.
44. When on a business trip, faking a stomach bug is the best way to get away from forced coworker social time, and get in some club time. No one questions diarrhea.
45. Don’t look too out of place. Out-of-towner, dressed too well screams “mark.”
46. When getting several dances, count the number of songs out loud, particularly if the DJ is crossfading them.
47. One great club session beats 10 mediocre ones. Sometimes you have to let it all out. But per #20, adjust your budget accordingly.
48. Corollary to #12, be a normal human fucking being. You aren’t going to have some witty line she’s never heard before, or impress her by insulting her. Asking her real name or if she has a boyfriend is cliché at best, creepy at worst.
49. There are months you will want to club your ass off, and others you will want to take a break. This is natural.
50. Like is said in The Hangover, some people can’t handle Vegas. Well, some people can’t handle strip clubs. Strip clubbing CAN be part of a balanced, fulfilling life, but it requires you to have control over your penis and wallet, two things many guys don’t have. Know thyself.
If she's not the type to normally go for you then she's not into you.
Treat them like you would any other woman you find attractive
Don't be cheap
Never bring more cash than you can afford to spend.
Don't try to save her.
Enjoy the moment
SJG
To myself in my 30s: Dude, you fucking blew it by not clubbing and missing the golden age of San Francisco clubs (MBOT, etc.)
To my middle age self of 5 years ago at the commencement of my frequent clubbing: Pretty much everything Tetradon says above.
Don't keep your hands at the side, she's gonna wonder why you're not touching her. Grab her boobs, touch her ass, it's THAT kind of club.
Don't position your dick to where the dancer can't feel it (yes I actually did that dumb shit). The whole point of a lap dance is for the dancer to grind on your dick and it feels really good.
Don't just get one dance, string a few of them together and it's a much better experience, especially since your first dancer will be amazing.
And ignore his comments after you both just visited the club about how horrible life is for a dancer, and not worth doing. While at it, ignore his comments his negative comments about thirsty simp guys and modern culture raising dudes horribly…because time will prove him to be a big time projector and you will keep hearing from him.
He acted like you dancing will make you lower value and he won’t talk to you again, but three years after you two hung out for the last time (and he was a jackass) you will see him from across the room at a club, and he will say nothing about that but a few days later be DMing wanting to get coffee. When you had already politely declined the other similar invitations made once in a blue moon…like maybe once every six months?
Over five years after you guys have hung out for the last time, and after you completely stopped bothering to give polite responses to DMs, he’s sending a friend request on social media. (Yesterday in fact lol) Why in the heck are you going to later on get emotionally worked up over his nonsense when he starts some drama in a few months from now?
Oh yeah, and that guy who is your boyfriend’s friend, don’t mind me, just going to steal his car keys now before he ends up sneaking out of the club, flipping his vehicle over, and getting his 3rd or so DWI/DUI charge.
That would be terribly offensive, and you were supposed to know that when she said that in between moans while maneuvering herself to get full boner effect, it meant she wanted to date you, not hook up...
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
Do not let a stripper - no matter how sad her sob story is - stay at your place.
+ don't ask a stripper what's wrong - you are often opening a pandora's box
+ 99.9% a stripper offers you her # is not bc she's really into you - she's just trying to make you into a regular source of income
Its less than most lessons learned but my early clubbing days I would waste money on pity dances with strippers who spent a long time talking to me even if I wanted to try something new or wasn't attracted to them.