Dancer asked me to Zelle her money

Go do a room with another dancer while the scamming dancer is working there and I bet her attitude will change real quick.

only zelle family and friends if that lol

Try small claims court. \S

There's a sucker born every minute.

It doesn't matter if she was running a scam or was truly sincere at the moment when she asked for help. There is almost never any upside to fronting a dancer money. At best you become her creditor. Nobody likes a creditor once the borrowed money is spent. That's especially true for a dancer, who is wired to treat yesterday's customer cash inflow as money freely given, regardless of any hot air agreement to the contrary.

Lesson learned. Next time you should consider countering with an earning opportunity instead.

Welcome, Patrick Bateman aka new student of stripclubs1A. Here at TUSCL you will learn a lot about the ways of the dancer. It will undoubtedly save you money in the long run. The lesson you learned today was that if you 'lend' a dancer money you should consider it a gift, meaning money you won't get back. For you this was a cheap lesson, $230 isn't bad in the grand scheme of things. Read on and you will find examples of men who lost entire bank accounts, life savings, thousands of dollars being hustled by dancers.

frequent fs and tellys should be down to a discount by now.
i know tellys aint free, plus gas and safety supplies etc.
i dont care how bad or good the service is after the 1st telly date you should deduct fifty bucks from her asking price from then on. you can what u like about her, 300 adds up
quick if your just another JOHN...

Lol and then I go check your TUSCL account and you've been here 3 times as long as I have. Is this really your first time ever lending a dancer money? Or have all the other dancers you've ever lent money time been honest and given you a discount on future services?

I would have thought a person that's been to clubs a few times and been on this site awhile would know how the situation you wrote about would likely play out.

Next time, tell her you only brought $70, and will pay her the $230 next visit. Then refuse to pay more than $300, or say you only have $300, for every subsequent visit. That puts the ball in her court.

Patrick Bateman: At least you loaned an amount you could live without! Never loan an amount to anyone that you can’t afford to lose.

I had something similar happen once. She ended up taking off some of the amount of the dances over several visits. The final small amount was difficult to get credited, but at least it was a smaller amount and she did finally follow through. You may try something like that of you wish to keep seeing her.

I've only had one experience with advancing a stripper money. I had been seeing her weekly on Fridays at my house. She sent me a text on Tuesday asking if I could advance her $30 till Friday. I said sure how do we do this?. Turns out we both use the same credit union and transferring money was easy. All I needed was her account number. She took a photo of her account statement and sent it too me. She had less than $6 in her account. I asked if $30 was enough and she said yes that it was for the kids. And she did show up Friday right on time. Trust is good.

eros973 ... Go to the hospital. You're having a stroke.

I’m sorry. Some dancers give us a bad rep. If you’re a regular who does good by her I don’t see why she wouldn’t keep her end of the bargain.
I have regular who I ask for favors and I always deliver as promise but sometimes he’d give me money anyway.

Maybe you’re not a good of customer as you think or maybe she is a robb

Also I wouldn’t lend or advance someone money that I didn’t see out the club

This is from 2017, but it's still *exactly* how I handle these situations:

https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=5213…

Also, call me old fashioned and/or paranoid, but I don't do electronic transfers of money to pay for my sexy fun time. I mean, if you're in a life situation where it's fine for you, then have at it. But for anyone who wants/requires a level of discretion or separation between their more public life and P4P, electronic transfers are a mine field.

There are no birds that eat digital breadcrumbs. They are forever.

Negative conditioning works... I made that mistake years before I even knew this site existed. Apply this lesson in your future clubbing if you want any peace of mind. Take rickdugan's advice to heart and tie it to OTC services in the future when any dancer approaches you with something like this.

I’m going with shailynn’s answer on this one.

I’m pretty sure OP knew better, and that his $230 would simply be a gift. The real question is how many times since this initial emergency has she called asking for more money for some other emergency? This is the real stripper MO, which is why the first time a stripper asks you for money, consider the relationship over and time to find a new piece.

I don't exchange numbers with atf, or cf's and I never prepay for anything. Find someone new.

Dancers and emergencie$ go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Not all dancers are ROBs but a good # are - lending a dancer $$$ is a crapshoot at best - anyone can have a financial emergency but usually the issues that cause the emergencies are usually the same issues that make it so they are unlikely to be able to pay you back; many of them are constantly behind-the-8-ball.

As others have said, when you lend a dancer $$$ assume you won't get it back - a bigger issue beyond a one time loan is that some dancers start seeing you as "Mr Emergency" and hitting you up with multiple emergencies.

In all my years of clubbing I only once had a dancer ask for money because of some personal situation. (Well, there may have been others that asked as soon as we met and I blew them off immediately.) This was a girl I knew for about two years and she was good friends with another dancer at the same club, who I also knew well. I did VIPs with both of them, and there was no jealousy. Perhaps they even shared the money and looked at me as a mutual customer, I don't know.

Well apparently she was having problems with her boyfriend and needed some money to move out. He wasn't beating her or anything, just making her life miserable. She was embarrassed to ask, so the other girl approached me. She said anything I could come up with would help, and the girl would pay me back either in cash or services.

Well I really liked this girl so I went to the ATM down the street and took out $500. When I handed it to her she was so happy, started kissing me and thanking me, and swore to pay me back. I stopped her and said it's not a loan and doesn't need to be paid back. My reasoning was that $500 is about what I might spend on an excessive night of clubbing. Not that I usually spend that much, but I have quite a few times. I promised myself that the next time I had the urge to go out and blow that much cash at a club I'd deposit $500 into my IRA account instead, and that's exactly what I did a few weeks later.

Next time I saw her she told me about her new place and what a big help the extra money was. She was able to hire a couple neighborhood guys to move all her stuff and buy a few things she needed. She was so happy to be away from the asshole she was living with.

She never again asked me for money beyond what I spend on LDs/VIP, and from that point on our sessions together were noticeably more intimate and personal. I considered it money well spent. Unfortunately a year or so later she got married and quit the life. I don't regret it. I hope she's happy.

You should have asked her to Zelle you a BBBJ

LOL

"... Unfortunately a year or so later she got married and quit the life ..."

Hopefully it wasn't to the asshole - a lot of these girls seem unable or unwilling to ditch douchebag S.O.s

^^ No Papi. Her friend who was still working at the club told me she married a nice guy.

https://peoplescourt.com/

click onto SUBMIT YOUR CASE

Its a common scam. Tell her it's a nominal amount but that what bothers you is the lying. If she wants money she can be honest about it and tell you instead of making shit up.

Personally I think once lies start and you give in. You hand over a lot of power and leverage and boundaries and she will do it again and it'll escalate.

There seems to be an epidemic of lying, thieving whores. Remember the good old days when strippers were honest and trustworthy?

@TFP yes really first time lent a dancer money. Every other time I made them come to my house in person and I made sure I got something for my money.

To quote Nomi from Houston “I don’t believe in loans because I don’t want to pay anything back,”

https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=7615… / https://myhoustonmajic.com/3747762/only-…


Don't give a stripper money expecting to get it back. As Rick mentioned, trying to get it back is usually gonna make it worse. There's exceptions of course, but if you have to ask its probably not an exception. That said, sometimes those small assists pay off big. I've done plenty to help out strippers and for the most part been rewarded accordingly. I've also had a few not so great experiences, but I only took risks I could manage and have no real issues with the bad experiences.

Always assume that any money you give to any friend, family member or really anyone is a gift unless you are signing a contract. It's better to just be surprised and happy when they pay you back than be surprised and upset when they don't.

Your first mistake was having a favorite. Your second mistake was STILL paying her after she suped you the first time. Fool me once....

This is why I never get attached in the club. Because your only good to them until your wallet dries up

Only once did I have to borrow some cash, and the next time I absolutely fucked his brains out. He had such a good time he told me to forget about the loan and paid me for my time as well. Since then he’s taken me on a few paid sex vacations which have been great.

^^^ I will that more of these situations ended up like Carolynne's (for both the dancer and the customer). Unfortunately, I think it's relatively rare.

Regardless, good for you (and him). That's how it should work.

When they try to bs me I always call their bluff. Then they stop it.

For example if she'd ask for money for a tire id tell her a tire can be a lot cheaper and ask her where she is. That ill come over and help.

one time a girl claimed she was jn a car accident so I got her a personal injury attorney 🤣🤣🤣

"Have you guys ever had something like this happen to you before?"

Only all of us lol... or at least all of us who give strippers our numbers. I think by far the #1 lesson: never lend a stripper money. All rules are made to be broken, but this is one that there are VERY few exceptions for. You lending her money fucks up everything, most of the time, leaves you feeling scammed, and now you've lost your CF also. Read 15 stories of PLs lending strippers money, 14 will say they never got paid back. It's just a stupid move -- but also one many PLs make. Making it once is understandable; more than that, you deserve what you get.

And usually the stripper isn't even asking for a loan. She's desperate for $ for whatever reason. She asked for the money outright. You offered her a loan because ... why? Because you don't want to give her a gift, but too much of a little bitch to say no (we've all been little bitches at one point or other, don't take it personally), so you come up with a scheme to get something back. She's desperate, she'll say anything to get her hands on your $. Now it's hers, and no, she's not paying you back. And you've been scammed so you have to fire her, and you're out a CF. Or you don't fire her, and now she has even less respect for you than when you offered her the loan; expect to be treated like a bitch.

Here's a secret: If a stripper is blowing me away in the club, our OTCs are amazing, she's sleeping over in the hotel room, I feel like I'm getting YMMV with her, etc., and she asks for money -- then I'll give her some cash, sure. Why wouldn't I give a bit extra to someone who is being so generous with her time and body to me? But if I ever think, "well, she's not blowing me away so much that I feel like just giving her $250", then I just say no, a loan is not in the cards.

Not to be a broken record with all of the other wise replies but I would just second the notion that your actions to help your stripper should not be considered a “loan” — you should consider it a gift. When you give the money to help her out, you should not expect anything in return. By using this perspective, you are not “scammed”. And if she actually came through as she stated she would, you’re “up” in the game. For us mongers to have the money to gift is really a fortunate position to be in (in the grand scheme of things).

You shouldn't have to learn these lessons at this point. Strippers aren't in the business to make friends with you! Unless you are getting OTC there is NO reason to be texting them.

I've zelled dancers in the club after running out of cash.

@patrickbateman

I will play along and answer your question:

Q: Have you guys ever had something like this happen to you before?

A: Who hasn’t had something like this happened to them before?

You should know that in this life; clear communication is key and:
“You teach people how to treat you.”

You let her get away with not honoring her word more than once.

If she, an adult, has failed to honor basic social conventions (keep her word), in such a fundamental way, I don’t believe it is worth your time to try to change her behavior.

It is a power trip, that is why you are upset, “it is not the money is the principle.”

I always let people know, in this case a girl (stripper or sugar baby or civilian) how important to me is to keep one’s word, to uphold one's promise; to do as one says.

I would tell her
“The only thing I got in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don't break 'em for nobody.” ~ Tony Montana, Scarface.

You should man up and either tell her it is a gift and really forget about it or get a dance and only give her the $70 as agreed.

Otherwise she knows that she can take advantage of you, and you know it and it bothers you because you are her bitch, like the kids say nowadays.

If she doesn’t “get it” by now, and adult 18 years or older when will she ever “get it”?

I have a two strikes and you are about policy in this type of situations.

For example; I would let a girl I know (stripper or sugar baby or civilian) how important to me is being on time and or letting each other know in advance (this is the key to no getting upset, enough advance notice) if anything changes or we have to reschedule.

I have told a long Time Favorite that; I don’t wait for doctors, lawyers, teachers, priest etc or even family members more than 15 minutes, without communication or explanation.

Now days with cellphones is even easier to let each other know (text) if you are going to be late.

I explained to her that having people waiting is a power trip, is disrespectful and you would be wasting their time, and time/life is one of the most valuable things in this life.

I had the Long Time Favorite agreed to meet OTC, and it was going great.

Needless to say she failed to show up one time for OTC after a handful of good meetings, I texted her, no response, I left after 15 minutes.

Next day she gave me a lame excuse; she was sick and fell asleep at a girlfriend’s. And asked to please give her one last chance. We meet a few more times for OTC and it was OK.

Then again she was a no show, after 15 minutes I sent her a text telling her “I waited for you 15 minutes for the last time”.

I haven seen her after, she texted me and left me voicemail messages apologizing, trying to get together for OTC, I never responded to her.

Make sure that you let her know that you prioritize reliability above almost all other traits as you search for a lasting relationship with an ATF.

My last FAV and I will agree to meet for VIP and was never late, if something came up we would let the other know and reschedule accordingly.

One the best girls I have had the pleasure, she texted me one last time to let me know she was moving and tanked me for the good times.

Thank you for making me remember some good times.

Once you give a dancer money like this it won’t stop until you put your foot down. There will be more emergencies and they will increase in frequency and need. ,Amber there are exceptions but my experience is to ignore the texts just wanting money.

I'm sure this has happened to many of us. I once gave a dancer $150 for "emergency needs", lol.
She promised a lot of extra attention next time at the club, but I actually got very little in return.
The next time she asked for money for another emergency, I told her no.
Funny, I never saw her again after that.

I’m glad you seem to be taking this loss reasonably well. I would consider it a lesson learned. I’m surprised to see your history on this site - as your mistake seems more like a rookie mistake.

Strippers are notoriously bad at repaying loans. They are also bad at budgeting - and saving. Those things are fine - as long as you only use strippers for ITC and OTC transactions - paid in cash.

What you did was a kind gesture. It just sucks that those aren't typically rewarded by strippers.

I'm sure at some point in my strip club career that I've been scammed like this. I don't remember it (it's been 40 plus year; gimme a fucking break), but since I learned the lesson, I presume it happened.

The bottom line is that if you are going to give a stripper money outside of a services rendered situation (and I have given quite a bit of it), you should view it like she does. It's hers. It's not a loan or an advance, it's a gift.

If she does pay it back, thank your lucky stars, because shes a unicorn.

I consider such gifts goodwill gestures, and while some of them haven't paid off, others have done so nicely.

I know we're beating this to death, but...

Every customer eventually runs into a shitty dancer (just like every dancer runs into a shitty customer). Sometimes it happens despite our best efforts to screen out bad actors, and sometimes we have a "fuck it" moment that doesn't pan out.

So, you paid $50 to learn a lesson. Ultimately, that's pretty cheap.

Update: You guys won't believe this LOL. Since she asked me for the $230 and didn't credit me I have done rooms with her a few times but haven't given her anything more and she hasn't asked. I let the $230 go because it wasn't a lot of money but told myself I will not give her any $ outside the room or OTC going forward because she wasn't trustworthy. So, tonight she texts me a link to some Instagram story for some puppy and asks me to get it for her (seriously lol). I didn't understand at first so I wrote her back "you got a new Yorkie puppy or what is this?" and she writes me back "it's a puppy, I want it, give it to me. They sell it and I want it, give it to me." I then ask her how much it is and she screenshots me her convo with the Instagram page who posted the story that shows a quote for $2800 and I don't respond. A little bit after she writes "give me the dog I'm going to give you a lot of love, don't be stingy." I ignore her again and 10 minutes later she writes "I'm glad you can't bye." I can't believe that she thought I would get her a dog for $2800 and trust her after she screwed me out of a measly $230 last time. I can't believe that she thinks I'm this dumb lol. I'm sure she texted all her regulars and is just hoping one of them will fall for it. Not gonna be me! The funny thing is that she probably makes $2800 in 1-2 nights so she can easily buy the dog herself but acts like she doesn't have any money. But when she's at the club she's one of the most in demand girls if not the most in demand for dances and rooms. Just hilarious to me that she thought I would fall for this!

She wasn't doing anything wrong. She asked you to buy her a dog and told you the price and you refused.

I have to say patrick that you must really give off a sucker vibe for this chick to come back on you like that, lol. I'm not trying to be mean here, but you might wish to examine how your interactions with this girl made her think that this was ok. I doubt that she texted ALL her regulars with that - just the ones who she thought she could pull that stunt on.

I'm not saying all of this to be an a-hole. I suspect that you sending her that first installment by Zelle, and perhaps other interactions you had with her, made her believe that you were ripe for the big ask. I can't imagine a universe where any girl I deal with would think that I'm a prime target for that and I'm sure that plenty others here share a similar perspective.

Eh ... This doesn't surprise me at all. I'm sure her attitude was that the worst that could happen was that you'd say 'no'. And yeah, I'm sure she sent that notice out to all of her regulars.

I will say, though, that if a dancer screwed me out of any amount of money (even if it's relatively low), I'd look for another dancer. Partly on the principle, and partly because there are plenty of other dancers. I don't need to give my money to the scam dancers.

So, it's possible that the reason why she gave it a shot with you is that after she screwed you out of $230, you kept giving her your money. So, why not take another swing at you to see if you're really that gullible?

If you'd been Pavlov's dog, the man would have died unknown to anyone.

Agree w/ rick you're giving off sucker vibes and obviously non-confrontational where she sees she can treat you like shit and get away with it. No she's not doing that w/all her regulars, being such demanding is a fucking turn off. The correct reply is not to ignore it's this: LOLLLL!!

@call.me.ishmael thanks for the great reply! The only reason I kept doing rooms with her after she screwed me out of $230 is because she does things in the room better than other girls I've tried there. Amazing BBBJ and fucks amazing (covered). Most girls do CBJ in the room, which is a total deal breaker for me. I do have another girl I see there too but she's not as wild in the room as this one. Hence why this unscrupulous one is my favorite. Every time I do a room with her and fork over $300 I feel like I'm honestly stealing from her because the sex is so good. Total PSE. Next time I go to the club I'll do a room with my second favorite and I'm sure that'll piss her off. Her and my second fav hate each other. Every time I do a room with one of them the other one gets mad at me and has even blocked me because of it lol. These Cuban girls in Miami are CRAZY!

I think that regardless of if I say no to anytime she asks me for favors (which I will because she lost my trust over the measly $230) that when I'm in the club if I want to do a room with her she'll do a room with me. This girl probably makes $500-600 a week off me so I've got to be a good customer for her. She wants my $ and won't want it going to another girl. So, end of the day I don't care. I'll still have her whenever I want her and can decline her attempts.

my opinion, strippers dont burn you if they feel they are getting a good deal. she probably feels the price is too low for the services she renders. i know its agreed too but she wants more money. during the bidding if you countered with a lower offer then she stated 1st, walk away. dont counter, if its outrages dont counter. accept whatever they say first, if its 3K or 250 take it or leave it. you will limit your problems like this one. try to be cheap gets expensive

@salty.nutz The standard rate in the club which every girl charges is $300 then it's $125 for the room on top of that. So her price is no different than any other girl. She is just a scammer. It's funny. None of the other girls in the club do stuff like this or ask me for anything outside the club. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me - not happening!

While I understand you not wanting to burn a bridge with a dancer who does the things you like, I'd still burn that bridge. And this might be strictly a 'me' thing; I don't keep giving money to dancers who rip me off. And it's not like I think I'm "teaching them a lesson", but I have a personal fool-me-once policy. Also, I know that I'll eventually find another dancer that does the things I like.

But that's just me. You do you.

These chicks entire adult lives are just one drama filled emergency after another. Getting yourself caught up in the middle of one is not wise.

OP i completely understand the "standard rate" point; however, to have better experience dont haggle or negotiate. If you pay the standard rate at 300 and sometimes feel like youre stealing why do you feel that way? question for plato

most of the time when strippers try to burn you is that their services rendered are more valuable then the money you are providing. Especially if youre her regular, she is not going to try to scare you away, most are pretty straight forward because they know acting like this wont get them repeat customers.

Also if you feel like you overpaid you probably did

They're not screwing guys over with this. You can easily say no. Regretting giving her money isn't the same as being fucked over unless its deceitful or fucks with your feelings.

Forget trying to get satisfaction by trying to make her jealous, etc. she doesn’t care about you - only your money. Strip Club sex is a commodity and should be treated as such. If you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth, then continue to buy. If not, take your business elsewhere.

Well, the jealousy isn't over the guy, it's over the guy's money and who gets it. So, yes it is possible to take a pot shot at a dancer by choosing another dancer and, in particular, another dancer that she dislikes. But I never do this even with this in mind.

I hate strip club drama and I go to strip clubs to escape drama. If I stop seeing a dancer, then I pick the next dancer based on what I want, and not on what's going to piss off the previous dancer.

Unless you're a big spender she won't care if someone else gets your money.