Being the “nice” versus “alpha” male—strip club edition
How do you prefer to behave at the club? Think that between the two, there is a more effective way to act or is it net neutral and money is the end-all-be-all?
I’ve blatantly heard from two TUSCLers IRL that in their experience, their “system” an easy way to get along with dancers in Texas (time/mileage/money) is as simple from refraining from being an asshole. And I believe it too LOL but I think Texas is just an asshole saturated area, so it makes sense to me.
What has your experiences been?
I’ve blatantly heard from two TUSCLers IRL that in their experience, their “system” an easy way to get along with dancers in Texas (time/mileage/money) is as simple from refraining from being an asshole. And I believe it too LOL but I think Texas is just an asshole saturated area, so it makes sense to me.
What has your experiences been?
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What do you mean by Alpha?
I'm patient and wait for the right experience. Does that mean I'm not Alpha?
I'm nice and seek a woman where there is some type of chemistry or connection. I enjoy myself if she is into it as well. It may take a few visits to come across the right encounter but at least it's an enjoyable experience. I'm not in there throwing money around and trying to force a dancer to do this or that. I want to feel catered too and treated like a man so have them come to me and prove they are worthy of my money and time. Is that Alpha?
Some consider an " Alpha Male" to be dominant and cocky who only cares about what benefits them the most while others would consider it to mean confident and decisive and looking to make the most of any situation.
Some consider an "Nice Guy" to be someome that wants to please everyone else regardless of what they get out of the situation (a.k.a. a chump) while others would consider it to mean a guy that is polite and respectful.
I try to be a combination and shoot for confidently getting the most I can while being respectful. If you come across as too arrogant and cocky the dancers won't enjoy themselves and it will show in their performance. If you are too eager to please them without focusing on what you get out of it you'll end the night with blue balls and an empty wallet.
That's an easy one. Yes.
I also tend to be a bit defensive w/ dancers IDK - just as I try to not screw-over a dancer, nor anyone else, I hate being screwed over w/ a passion and take it personal vs just letting it slide - thus at times I can act standoff-ish/defensive w/ certain dancers IDK.
If you want to date stripper hoes. Be confident and a bit if q bad boy.
Personally, I am clear and direct in what I want, and I don’t put up with what I don’t want. But I am always polite and pleasant, no matter whether I get what I want or how others react. In many ways, no different from how I interact with family and friends and colleagues.
To answer your question:
How do you prefer to behave at the club?
“People greet you according to the way you dress and say goodbay according to the way you behave" ~ Russian proverb
I prefer to behave like a gentleman, because I like to be treated as a gentleman.
Cleanliness and hygiene above all, showered, brushed teeth, wash my hands and more to prevent illnesses and to make me feel good about my clean appearance.
I make sure I dress according to the place I am visiting and to treat others with kindness and courtesy.
I have often been thanked for making someone’s day better by just being kind to them.
Punctuality is one of the most important qualities people can have. When I make an “appointment” to see my CF I am on time and if something unexpected happens, I immediately text her to let her know and reschedule.
Responsibility and punctuality go hand in hand.
Being late makes others wait which makes them waste time, it is considered disrespectful, a lack of courtesy and consideration.
Valuing others around me (respect) helps me take care and improve my current and future relationships.
“Good manners reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.” – Emily Post
I am confident in a bonhomie-lite sort of way, but not boisterous or cocky. I smile a lot and treat a gal with dignity, but I'm rarely mistaken for a pushover. I work in a white collar world and spend accordingly, but my meat and potatoes blue collar upbringing comes through. My body language is relaxed and welcoming, like I own the chair I'm sitting in, but I don't behave aggressively.
I don't know how one would characterize any of this though. I just am what I am. If a girl likes me then great. If we don't click then she knows where her next target is. If I don't like her then I move her along quickly, usually in a nice way but firm enough to make sure that she gets it.
Overall this seems to work well for me given my particular goals, but for the most part I'm not really picking a persona. We are who we are for the most part, though if was one of the guys who seem to struggle in finding a balance with these girls then I might try a bit harder to mimic some type of normalcy. Now that's not to say that I don't put in a little effort now and again in helping certain matters over the goal line once good rapport is established, but that's a discussion for another thread. ;)
NAAAASTY
On the other hand I often turn the conversation to sex. Love the ones who can talk in detail about sex. The ones who shy away are dubbed boring in my mind.
I’ve had more than one dancer tell me how much more they enjoy the dance knowing I’m going to be respectful and they don’t have to be on the defensive
However, certain clubs can be very high pressure - “Wanna dance? Wanna dance baby? You ready baby?” - and I will avoid those clubs - or I will be abrupt when asked a fifth time in a few minutes.
I don’t mind the dollar parade - as I’ve grown accustomed to it in NJ clubs. It can help if I didn’t notice a specific dancer - and I’m not concerned about handing out singles.
I’m not appreciative of dancers who are pushy, and I remain friendly - but firm - when saying no.
Anyone who calls themselves an "alpha male" and is not a wolf, needs to be boiled in oil.
I think Subra's "don't be an asshole / don't be a little bitch" is a fairly accurate representation of my approach. It works for me. Not being an asshole prevents me from scaring off the strippers I like, not being a little bitch keeps the ones I don't want from wasting my time. I can't really comment on comparing my approach with others, since I've never really tried other approaches.
The dancers have enough to put up with. I try to be nice and polite, this (generally), gets me fine service. I get to play feeleze, they know my fingers ain't going there (I usually state this), pay, tip, offer thanks.
They know I'm 'safe', worth hitting up for a few bucks (dances), and remember for next time. (Hope there's a next time soon).
It's really just being my normal self - but with obvious heightened comfort with the sexual aspects. I'll at least try to hide staring at a woman in civilian life - but why hide it at the club.
My experience has mostly been that the dancer's attitude is that they are there to please and don't mind taking directions and giving me they type of dance I want. I go slow, communicate and they let me know how far I can go.