tuscl

Ghosted? Why would she when it was so great? Advice Please...

IceyLoco
But at least a nigga, nigga rich
Tuesday, June 12, 2018 6:40 AM
Im not really into clubs, I ended up in one on a whim and met a girl who is the girl of my dreams.We hit it off and started seeing each other outside the club. She went as far as to ask me not to go the club to see her. We were inseparable for 3 weeks. She's in her early 20s, I'm in my late 20s. We're both Mexican, similar backgrounds, just lots of stuff in common. Money isn't an issue for me at this point, I love spending it on her. I took her to great restaurants, took her to the mall and let her buy anything she wanted...expensive purses, whatever. I get dancers dont want anyone broke, what girl does. She was so happy. Then we started to get emotions, told each other things that were like saying we love each other...without actually saying the word. Then she went to see her family for a week, same here. Weird how that worked out. After a few days of being gone, she stopped returning my texts. She's been back a day now but hasn't returned my texts yet. I don't want to seem pushy. Should I wait a few days and then go to the club and ask whats happening? I don't get why she would do this, and even without a connection....why would she ditch a guy who can buy her anything? Sounds bad but in this day and age its true.... I just don't know what to do. This is killing me. The time with her was amazing, I don't want o lose it.

111 comments

  • RandomMember
    •
    6 years ago
    If you're giving her money and taking her shopping, you have a sugar-baby and you're way too emotionally invested. Yes, dial it back and let her contact you. @Dugan will be along soon to lecture you on your emotional weakness.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    No you just stop texting her. Her behavior is telling you that she isn't ready to have a steady boyfriend girlfriend relationship. If I were you I would just play it cool go to a different strip club spend some money get to have experience with other girls and don't text theain girl back at all. She'll text you cuz she want your money in the club and tell her yes she will show up flake on her. Show text you back angry and then you said oh got to do something with your buddy it was an emergency and you'll try to make it into Club sometime this week don't give her a specific day and show up randomly. Makes it look like you have some emotional self control which right now you don't and you need, girls don't respect Guys Without emotional self control
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    @random guess I beat RBD to it. Yes! The System(TM) is strong in this one.
  • RandomMember
    •
    6 years ago
    ^^LOL
  • tijuana_tim
    •
    6 years ago
    Come see me amigo! I can provide you replacement girl, only $100 to spend time with you and you will not need to buy expensive purse. I have many to choose from.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    You’ve gotten into a SB - SD relationship. It’s a case of you catching feelings for her - and her falling in love with your money. She gets wet when you open your wallet - not when you kiss her. She doesn’t want you to come to the club - to see her doing extras for other customers. She knows that if you see her fucking other guys - you will stop buying her stuff.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Thank you for the replies. Yeah, Im fine with the sugar daddy aspect. Im not naive to think she'd be with me if I were broke. GACA, thats really good advice. I havent texted her in 2 days so far. I'm hoping she gets in touch, I don't get why she would let the money go if nothing else.
  • TheeOSU
    •
    6 years ago
    Nice post GACA, your first one that is. If OP is genuine and not another troll playing he should follow your advice.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Girls are emotional. She thinks she's committing to something more than she's ready for. So lay off the pillow talk when you see her. She's never going to commit she's only going to run. I know women who have left children behind to get away from a relationship they aren't ready to be in. Just keep it fun and casual and look for relationship elsewhere
  • sinclair
    •
    6 years ago
    Just be patient. Young women are very flaky. She may come around and contact you. If not, you save alot of money.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    No, Im not a troll... Im serious. And yeah, she got clingy and emotional first...I just hope she gets in touch. Otherwise, I was thinking of showing up at the club this weekend and just asking her whats up...
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    "Otherwise, I was thinking of showing up at the club this weekend and just asking her whats up..." And that would be the dumbest of all the possible moves you could make. Jeesh. Gawd this is painful watching a guy hammer a nail through his own balls. Yo, Ella es una qualquiera hombre. Sola quiere dinero y attencion de mucho hombres. Y tu tu quiere "make a hoe a housewife" Stop it. Stop it now.
  • hoarker
    •
    6 years ago
    Agree with the above. There are two scenarios here: 1. She’s done with you. 2. She does love you, but is pulling back for any of many reasons. In either case, your actions should be the same. Immediately STOP!! Don’t send anymore texts to her!!! You need show control and confidence. Don’t be an emotional wus. If she texts you, ignore for at least a week or even better 3 weeks. Play it cool. Get busy with something else important that you have been meaning to do for awhile. Like going to the gym, or taking a vacation, or focusing on a big work project, training for a marathon. Then when and if you do meet up with her, you can tell her truthfully that you have been busy with important shit. You’re very young. If you’re mind is focused on her, you miss all the wonderful things that happen around you constantly. Lastly, find the radio station that has Tom Likess(sp?) show. If scenario 1 is true, these actions will draw her back.
  • future POTUS and Senator in training
    •
    6 years ago
    Fyi, people leave all the time even [view link] is good..lol
  • hoarker
    •
    6 years ago
    I meant if scenario 2 is true, these actions will draw her back.
  • goodguy
    •
    6 years ago
    PhatBoy702, I agree with most of the advice that you've been given from others. Having gone down a similar path that you have once with a very young (20 yr. old dance) dancer, I can assure you from experience that you must, as hard as it is, pull back and not come across as though you are chasing her too much. I too have gone over the line once with a dancer and had a great time for a while, but it took me a while (too long) to admit that our relationship want not ever going to the next step. Since you are in a SD-SB relationship with her, you must be careful not to believe that you are probably never going to have anything more then that. She may find you more of interest than other customers in the club and have some real feelings for you, which may be unique for her too. But you must be realistic and use common sense going forward or you will chase her away for good. I would recommend you do not contact her via text or go to the club to see her right now. I would not go to the club to see her this coming weekend, if you can. There is something going on with her, which has caused her to ghost you. You know she has seen your texts and has consciously decided not to reply to them. It could have something to do with her visiting her family visit - it's odd that this started right after that (unless something happened between the two of your right before she left). I would try to wait 21+ days to give yourself some time to get over her and then go to the club to see if she is still there. There is a slim chance that she may not be working there any more, but I doubt it. Many dancers try to get out of the strip club life for a while. The problem is they can't make the some amount of money outside the club - and most often return. Even if she is not there when you go and you find out that she has quit, she may be back in the future. I would also find another club to go to and meet other dancers. Who knows, maybe you will immediately meet someone else who will help ease what you're going through right now. I know it's not easy, but you will get through this and be in a much better place in the near future.
  • rickdugan
    •
    6 years ago
    I'll post as if this is true... You've already lost her and now you're just making yourself look clingy and weak. If she was into you, then she would have texted back already and probably would have kept in touch while she was gone. Salvage whatever little male pride and dignity you may have left, if you ever had any, and move on. Use some of that money for a gym membership, or facial reconstruction or whatever else you need to do to attract girls without acting like a sugardaddy. You're too young to be chasing after strippers like that.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Thanks. How long should I wait to go to the club and just demand to know where we stand, if I don't hear from her. I'd rather have some kind of closure eventually. I don't get why she'd do this, even if its about money, you'd think she'd want to keep it up.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    And with the above statement I know you are a lost cause... Closure? Ha. So go ahead get beat up learn the hard way Chase Chase Chase. This is not about her this is about your ego. Oh to be Young and dumb and full of cum. Nope don't miss it...
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    I do work out and I look good, I get attention from girls. Its just her...I can't help it, she's perfection. Don't care where I met her and have no problem spending the money, its not an issue. Goodguy, thanks....
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Ya Actually it might be good for you to have your Ego broken. Next time you build it back up it won't be so fragile and based on actual achievements and substance. Good luck. At least ww planted the seed of what the right thing to do. You're obviously going to do the wrong thing.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    6 years ago
    How do you actually know she went to visit family? Because she told you? 1. She lied about feelings and came up with that story to “let you down easy,” aka “save herself some drama.” In this scenario, she was always about the money and nothing else. She didn’t want you in the club because she didn’t want to take the chance you’d find another sugar baby on whom to lavishly spend all your money. If you do go back to the club, she’ll either ignore you, or make up some sob story about being scared and not knowing what else to do. 2. She really did catch feelings, and really did get scared. If you go to the club, it could look exactly like #1, for entirely different reasons. If you really think this is the case (I don’t) and can’t resist sending one last text, make it non pathetic, like “Take care. If things change, let me know.” Then go stick your dick in somebody else.
  • rickdugan
    •
    6 years ago
    Needy Boy posted: " can't help it, she's perfection. Don't care where I met her and have no problem spending the money, its not an issue." No she isn't perfection, you should care about where you met her and establishing a relationship on a spending dynamic is a one way ticket to ruin. It's her job to make men like her and spend money on her. She doesn't want a pathetic besotted bitch like you - she wants a guy who acts like a man instead of like all of the other guys who profess their love after meeting her in the strip club. But ok, go take your medicine if you must. If you had any self respect, you'd walk away and have fun with civvie girls for a while, but obviously you don't. Nope, instead you're going to make her work to avoid you until she can't any longer and then finally affirmatively blow you off. :)
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    Dude - relax - let it go. This is not how you get a girl. It’s done - so it’s time to move on - and find some good civilian pussy. You are too young - and you aren’t mentally ready for mongering.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    I appreciate the advice, and I know its good when it comes to not getting hurt further. Its my fault for not clarifying things more...It wasn't just me buying her things.... We were together every day before she went to work. We spent her days off together at my place or hers. I met some of her family, who don't know what she does... There were days when she paid the fine for not working just to be with me for the night. We spent so much time just smoking weed and talking about everything, holding each other. I did spend a lot on her, but it wasnt the sole basis. I'm saying even if it were for her, why would she just disappear like that. The last text I had from her was her telling me no one has ever made her feel this way and how much she loves the way I make her feel and talk to her.... She's barely 21.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    She even took my mom to a drs appointment...
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    You are looking for a relationship... She's looking for a No Strings Attached emotional tryst. Girls love romantic feels, but bruh come'on. She's not going to be locked into a commitment, and that is obvious. Let it go. Keep it casual and carefree. Fuck other people or you lose. You want this girl? Well she better feel like she likes you more than you like her. Girls love being the emotional victim, martyr, feeling like they are the one who might be getting played. She can't even pretend even a little bit that's what's going on with you.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Drama... Young girls want to feel like they're living in a Novela
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    You don’t need this shit. If she decides to get back in touch with you - you’ve put yourself in a submissive position. That sets a bad precedent for the relationship going forward. She is in control now. You’ve become the beta - when you should be the alpha. Move on with your life. Find a girl who won’t dump you like CrazyJoe dumps in McDonalds bathrooms!
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Be a man about it. Right now it should be about her fantasy not yours. You probably look like the sorta asshole who would do her wrong, and you're disappointing her by not at least playing the part a little. Jesus. Don't you have any guy friends who got even a little game nigga?
  • rickdugan
    •
    6 years ago
    You'd think that a guy who is in his late 20s would have enough dating experience to understand what it means when a girl blows him off for a long stretch, but not this guy. It's clear that he needs to make a spectacle of himself and to endure further humiliation and nothing is going to dissuade him from that course. This is what happens when we support a generation of kids raised in single parent homes. Boys grow up without proper male role models to teach them how to carry themselves like men and this is the result.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    ^^^^ hmm good point RBD, are we going to work this hypothesis into revised and updated version of The System (TM)? A The System for a New Generation of Wusses
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    I'm taking notes...
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    yeah she actually said that before, how i look kinda mean and she feels safe with me, but then that i treat her so well and she'd blush. I kinda played the whole bad boy thing up for her. Thats what she first liked about me I think or what at least initially attracted her. She likes my tattoos and how I never told her where I get my money. She thinks its fun to act on impulse...she always liked me being direct and impulsive. Rickdugan, I know you're right. Its good advice. But this is different. Like why would she do things like check my phone and take selfies with it before leaving, and cover me with hickeys...leave some stuff at my place. Like she's marking her territory. She would be all over me if another girl was anywhere in site.
  • Smalltowncpl
    •
    6 years ago
    Dude she is done with you. Cut your losses and move on. Don't text her anymore and don't randomly show up at the club.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Well that changes everything ... she probably thinks you're a drug dealer doesn't see a future in being with a drug dealer and she ghosted you good for her
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Im not but I know it turned her on...shes not exactly an agel. Showing up at the club will ultimately be all I can do....and she'll either give me a bs sob story or itll be over.
  • abqspencer
    •
    6 years ago
    I'd let it sit another day or three, then if she's still not in contact and you know for a fact she's back in town, text her and just say "So I assume it's cool with you if I start hitting the club again and see some other dancers, right?" Pull the pin on that grenade and see what happens.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    abqspencer ..... that sounds like a good idea.
  • PaulDrake
    •
    6 years ago
    @PhatBoy702 - I agree with the consensus of advice. If you really want to be with her pulling back is the only smart move. But I think one thing that may not have been stressed enough to you in this thread is that some strippers are super unstable and can be good at hiding it. She may be totally bipolar and you have no idea. Maybe she had real feelings for you but there is absolutely no way to know how she feels about you today. You can not apply regular logic here. Past that you need to realize that not replying to a text is standard operating procedure for a stripper who doesn't want to deal with something difficult.
  • yahtzee74
    •
    6 years ago
    She's a stripper? Could have lost or broken her phone and has no money to replace it.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    PaulDrake, I thought about that. I know she was hurt before and has a hard time with guys. She said she never had what we have. Maybe her feelings, or guilt, fear. I don't know. That thought for her is why my feelings for her are stronger than my pride at this point. Yahtzee74, what are the odds though? You can still restore contacts...
  • twentyfive
    •
    6 years ago
    ^youre just making excuses for a stripper, she quite capable of making her own, regardless, from her you’ll never get the truth so why bother?
  • Jascoi
    •
    6 years ago
    young love... sigh.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    Too bad you are in NV. If you were in Northern NJ - I’d make a trip to the club - with $400. I’d fuck her in VIP - and post a few photos for you to see. That would hopefully put this wussy to rest.
  • hoarker
    •
    6 years ago
    Even if she lost/broke her phone, it sounds like she knows where you live. She could seek you out. If you told her that you don’t normally go to clubs, then I would definitely not return to that one. She’ll then know you are there for her. You can’t do that. Take this advice from an above post: “If she decides to get back in touch with you - you’ve put yourself in a submissive position. That sets a bad precedent for the relationship going forward.” If you have any hope of a healthy relationship, you need to reverse this immediately. Stop smothering her with emotions and gifts. It’s psych 101. Every woman, and man for that matter, seeks leadership. Except for megalomaniacs and sociopaths. Women want strong men, not wusses. I repeat, do not go back to that club. Do not answer any texts from her for at least a week. Many of us were just like you. Making these same dumb mistakes. I wish I had advice like this when I was in my 20s.
  • Bj99
    •
    6 years ago
    She could just be Avoidant. Look up avoidant attachment, and what to do if you scare them off by naming them feel shit. It happens to me. It’s like a hangover. You feel all of this nice stuff, and then you feel grossed out by it.
  • Bj99
    •
    6 years ago
    “Making them feel shit” Honestly, if it’s the case, you are prolly better off without her. Avoidant ppl can’t handle intimacy, and if you need to be all feely, it will make you insecure, even if she tries.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    Bj - that’s a good point. His need to get answers is most likely going to drive her father away. He won’t walk into the club - and have her run and jump into his arms. It’s more likely that she will try to avoid him.
  • Bj99
    •
    6 years ago
    Lots of us out there lol. Real Intimacy is icky, and it takes time to develop a distance so you can handle stuff. I know I’ve left a lot of guys confused lol.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    I’m not sure if you knew you were Avoidant at the time - or if the guys understood it. But it’s one of those things that might explain things when looking back at past relationships.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    6 years ago
    "... Im not really into clubs ..." Well there's your problem - you don't know what you are dealing with - in the simplest of terms, if one has to ask about how to date/handle a stripper, then one is not ready to date/handle a stripper - but in reality there's only one way to find-out and that's usually attempting it and getting burned and then hopefully learning the hardaway.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    6 years ago
    Throwing $$$ at a woman, even a stripper, is not the way to get her genuinely interested in you - in fact, IMO it's often counterproductive if you actually want something genuine beyond a rent-a-girlfriend
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    6 years ago
    As we often say on TUSCL, "a strip club is not a girlfriend supermarket" - strip clubs are not the place to "go looking for love" or a relationship. These girls meet 100s if not 1000s of guys in their line-of-work and get their fair-share of guys that wanna be their BF - these girls are in the club to make $$$, not find their next BF -a custy that meets a stripper in a club and tries to make her his GF rarely works; it's the nature of the beast.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    6 years ago
    As others, I too smell a certain stench of BS in the OP - but since there's no way to know for sure ... Often times a stripper will string along a custy that is willing to spend on her instead of cutting off the $$$-supply; why the OP's claims seem dubious. It's impossible to predict/decipher stripper-behavior/motives and what is fact vs fiction/genuine - the only semi-predictable thing about strippers is that they are often flaky/unreliable and are often not telling the truth; kinda the nature of the beast/business. As to why she has ghosted you, who knows - just know that it's common stripper behavior and one needs to take-off their civilian-hat when it comes to dealing w/ many strippers. One possible reason of many possible reasons why she's ghosting you could be that she thinks you are more trouble than your $$$ is worth - many strippers have a PL-altimeter and know when they need to pull the cord and dump a PL when he may become more drama than he is worth.
  • Bj99
    •
    6 years ago
    No. I didn’t. This girl is young, and a dancer. So, it’s fairly likely. I’d suggest bringing it back to money, and not taking ab feelings. But then it may have already crossed her line, and she’s slammed the door.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Its not bs, Im dead serious. I was looking for a forum to post on where people would have similar experiences or at least get the strip club thing. And I agree, its really weird that she would cut off the $$$. You'd think she'd want to push it. And at this stage while I know itll hurt in the long run, Id be down with it. She knows I'll spend it on [view link] was pretty much like we were living in a hip hop video...materialistically, it was there for her. Designer shoes, bags, clothes, the best weed, expensive restaurants. She grew up poor and likes fast money... Whats a PL? We actually never had drama between us. We really clicked...She even asked me for advice on what to do in club drama, problems with other girls, etc. She'd always ask me what to do. Its a weird situation. I know. It just doesn't make sense.
  • Bj99
    •
    6 years ago
    ^ look up “Avoidant Attachement personality disorder”
  • Bj99
    •
    6 years ago
    You both got all feely on something she was enjoying that had some distance to it.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    The OP sounds like he's 18 and not 28. Also sounds like he on the spectrum and suffering through a social interaction disorder.
  • HungryGiraffe
    •
    6 years ago
    From the TUSCL glossary on the website footer: PL Pathetic Loser - get a grip, she's not in love with you, she just wants your money. All of it.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Bj99, I did... there could be something to it. Gaca, I understand whats being said. Im also adding info HungryGiraffe, I don't care if she wants money....I know she loves it, we're both bad with it and I don't mind spending it on her. That isn't the problem
  • DeclineToState
    •
    6 years ago
    PhatBoy, As for the "what" (as in what to do in the situation), first re-read what GACA, hoarker, goodguy, rickdugan and Cashman wrote. Then read it again. Then keep reading it until you change your direction. Their counsel was sound. Many of us get caught up in your type situation and have learned our lesson and speak from experience. Your choice to follow the advice or not. If you don't you're set for more heartbreak. She's choosing to ghost you despite all the expensive restaurants, gifts and weed. As for the "why," Papi and BJ make some good points. But the why shouldn't matter though it does. Don't be a beta. Don't be a Regular In Love. You'll learn, just looks like you're in for some anguish before you do.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    6 years ago
    One other possibility is that she already had a significant other who stumbled onto your relationship and has gone ballistic on her. There are all kinds of threats, violence or emotional blackmail to which that could lead - none of them good. Definitely don't blow up her phone. No good can come of it.
  • PaulDrake
    •
    6 years ago
    @PhatBoy702 - You seem to have really honed in on on a few of the things that she told you or did. You should keep in mind though that some of what she said and did might not have the same level of meaning to her as it did you you. I am not doubting you guys had a real connection just that you are seeing it in retrospect with the lovelorn eyes. Also like Papi said you absolutely don't know what you are dealing with here. She might have liked you but also liked the money. She might have liked you but decided once you were apart that she hated herself for taking your money. All you can know for sure is that she doesn't feel like talking to you at the moment. If you truly can't stay away and MUST contact her I would at most send her one last text. Wait as long as you can and then say something like: "Hey it has been a while since I have heard from you. I hope you are ok, I am sure you must be going through something difficult. If you want to talk or feel ready for a relationship again let me know. Until then I won't keep bothering you but I want you to know I thought you were an amazing person and glad I got to know you. Best of luck, Paul." If it were me I would write her a letter and then delete it. Maybe try that it might make you feel better.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    6 years ago
    Strip clubs are bizarro-world, often the opposite of the real-world. In the real-world one gives the benefit of the doubt - in strip-club bizarro-world one is often better off assuming they are being hustled until proven o/w. Many/most of these girls usually already have a non-customer BF, often an unemployed/underemployed guy that often can't provide for the things these $trippers want/need and thus many of them will use custies to provide them the thing$ their BFs can't.
  • Superstarslim
    •
    6 years ago
    I'll give some unconventional advice. It sounds like the relationship is already over. You should actually do all the stuff you really want to do - text her back, go to the club, etc. - you'll get badly burned but be better off in the long run. These trials by fire strengthen your game. You'll be more prepared for the next gorgeous girl that comes along - and there will certainly be another. Don't bother trying to run game now. You're in too deep. As they say in the motherland, que será será.
  • K
    •
    6 years ago
    Women detest needy insecure men. When you see her, tell her you really enjoyed your time together but you took the hint and are respecting her wishes. Let her know that when she is ready, all she needs to do is let you know.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    6 years ago
    You can always go by the old standby and text her some nice dick-pics
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    Papi is right. Nothing pulls a girl back like a few dick pics! You might want to include your own dick in the pics - and see if she remembers it...
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    All of this input is interesting, different perspectives. Thank you. Even if I sound like a love sick kid, I do appreciate the advice. Im not going to contact her... then on Friday, I'll call her. If nothing, I'll go to the club on Saturday. I know she'll be there. Id visit her place, but going around her apartment waiting if she's home sounds too weird...Im not doing that. A friend put the time line in perspective though. I left town last Tuesday and came back on Sunday night. She left for the weekend and came back yesterday. I havent heard from her since Friday. Im hoping if nothing else, she misses the money. She won't find this elsewhere...it was a lot. A few hundred a day, some days over a thousand.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    not that i gave it to her in cash.... i mean what i spent
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    If you won’t send her dick pics - then you should wait for her in the parking lot of her club - so you are there when she walks to her car after she finishes her shift. I’m sure that’s not creepy or weird.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    weve exchanged nude pics before.... And there is nothing wrong if after a while there isnt a response I go to the club and just ask her to be honest with me, if she doesn't want me, to just tell me. That I do want to be with her and she is the girl of my dreams, but it has to go both ways and if she ever has a change of heart, she knows how to get in touch. But Im hoping she wastes her money, doesn't make much and realizes what she misses.
  • ppwh
    •
    6 years ago
    "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. " > But Im hoping she wastes her money, doesn't make much and realizes what she misses. That sounds a bit self-seeking. I'm speaking for myself when I say that tamping way, way down on emotional reactivity has always been the best possible action to take, in like, every circumstance involving a woman I have ever encountered. Maybe it could work for you, too. Anyway, it's a sure bet that the ultimatum/"this is how I feel!!" category of approach is what would drive her away (being examples of emotional reactivity and all) If she's as perfect as you say, she can get the money pretty much any night at work, or could if she switched clubs. Perhaps that you see money as your value is something she picks up on and sees money as easy come, easy go...
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    ^^^^PPWH preach!!!
  • larryfisherman
    •
    6 years ago
    Don’t text her, if she wants to get back in contact with you, she’ll contact you.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    ppwh, i dont think she can find a source of cash this stable. she doesnt really even have to dance when she's with me, and she barely did. Maybe a night or two a week at most over the time we were together. And of course my only value isnt money, but Im being pragmatic. Why would someone say no to that much cash.... especially in her position
  • Cashman1234
    •
    6 years ago
    Let’s end this - as you aren’t getting her back. Nobody on this board is a pragmatist! Perverts - disillusioned old perverts belong here - not pragmatists!
  • twentyfive
    •
    6 years ago
    @PhatBoy You’ve got what you came for, now go find something else to do your trolling is no longer amusing, it’s tiresome.
  • hoarker
    •
    6 years ago
    Phatboy, why did you seek advice? Now you’ve posted that you are going to do the complete opposite of what everyone has recommended. If their is any hope of a future with this girl, you seem determined to nuke it. You are your worst enemy.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    6 years ago
    "How long should I wait to go to the club and just demand to know where we stand, if I don't hear from her." That was the line where transitioned from "maybe this guy is real" to "this guy is probably a troll".
  • BN1ce
    •
    6 years ago
    you gotta relax guy. there’s plenty of hoes out there. And if you’re absolutely stuck on this floozy your only move is to just wait, do other shit , have fun and then maybe she’ll come back around. don’t be a creepy stalker.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    The offline advice Im getting is to chase her. That she's insecure and playing head games. And also going through some problems that came up, so to be there but from a distance. Also cultural expectations....that she expects it. The advice Im getting on here would be great if it were someone I didn't have the history I have with this girl.I havent done anything yet but am weighing options. You also don't have to demean her, neither of us is perfect. I don't care, we complement each other.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    1 - Dancers love drama 2- Dancers are afraid of the feels. They hurt their hustle. 3- Don't get involved in her drama or mental shit. Act like nothing happened. Call her ask she's down for whatever day. 4- If she doesn't call or text, go to the club. 5- If she is willing to lose the $$$ because of you it means she has feelings and is afraid of letting someone in. For whatever reason, she can't manipulate you. Think about it, a dumbass whose in love with her would be the easiest target if it was just $$$. Dancers take advantage of niggaz who crush on them all the time. So there has to be a reason why she can't just take advantage of you.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    thats the offline advice i found most interesting
  • RichardF
    •
    6 years ago
    I doubt that you're trolling @PhatBoy. My overall impression is that you're a young guy who has trouble dating in the vanilla world. I have a preconceived suspicion of *any* guy under 35 who's addicted to strip clubs. She's there to make money and strippers are masters at manipulating lonely guys. You should find some other place (College campus? Tinder?) to meet girls.
  • E1M4L0
    •
    6 years ago
    Strippers aren't any different from other hood bitches. They're just a little more lazy. Don't believe anyone who makes them out to be some kind of fantasy or living in a different world. If the girl fronts , ignore her actions not her and act indifferent. Women test you to the end of your days.The best thing is to be upfront with a girl you like - tell her you like her face to face as a man. Unless she tells you no to your face keep trying.
  • BN1ce
    •
    6 years ago
    Aayyy sorry if I offended you. Just calling it like it is. Good luck.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    "Also cultural expectations....that she expects it." Nope.. in your (Mexican) culture that girl is "una desgraciada qualquiera callejera puta sin verguenza " and her expectations are to get treated accordingly. Chase her? Nigga you a chump, un pendejo cabron, and she's playing you accordingly. But good luck with all that love stuff
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Amore de las putas es amore sin buena frutas. Aunque see Vista de seda, puta se queda ... and all that jazz House wife a hoe and ruin you hoe life :)
  • E1M4L0
    •
    6 years ago
    Nothing wrong with loving hoes. [view link] [view link]
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Why you want that Cartel coyote creamed in pussy anyway? Then you'd be forced to listen to that God awful accordian tuba music all the time :(
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Im not delusional about what she is, but Im also aware of who she is. I don't mind the games, they're a two way road....whoever plays best. You can always turn a chicks game against her. As long as there's contact its doable. I'm willing to take the risk.I want her in my life
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    A person "is" the choices they make hermanito. What choices is she making
  • ppwh
    •
    6 years ago
    One of the most frequent whines on TUSCL is after a guy spends some money and a stripper has ghosted him, is ignoring him or is sitting at a table with someone he doesn't see spending, etc. While it's true that strippers tend to love money, it's also true that they have put themselves in a situation that gives them easy access to it. The idea that a woman might not be able to come by the same money you're willing to spend would apply much more to a civvie than a stripper. Compare to the other most common TUSCL whine that she is only about the money, everything she says is stripper shit, etc. It's almost as though no matter what a stripper does, whiners gonna whine. It's probably easier for her to just ghost a dude once he starts trying to get her dependent on his money alone... and his attention alone. YMMV There's also that thing where certain people are 'addicted to love' as in, all the chemicals that your body pumps out when first getting involved with someone new. If you "have to talk" "about your feelings" and "where this is headed" and scheme with regards to her, putting a lot of emotional energy into plotting and planning, that's a pretty sure sign that things aren't working. See also: [view link]
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    Ok, so you're saying you want to that god awful accordian tuba music in your life? Better you than me I guess.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    She doesnt like that music. PPWH, thats not what Im saying at all. Im definitely not talking about my feelings to her or where its going. I want to remind her what we had and make her miss that and pick up from there. Im not complaining about her loving money. I love fast money too. I dont mind that.... Im willing to spend it if she wants it.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    I just don't get it, I gave her everything. She even ditched work so much to be with me....
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    6 years ago
    Dude, you’ve already decided what you’re going to do, despite all the advice to the contrary you’ve received here. You’ve obviously decided that the “offline” advice you’ve gotten is more valuable than what you’ve gotten from people who’ve been dealing with strippers longer than you’ve been alive. So why the fuck are you still here whinging about her stupid shit. Go do what you’re gonna do.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    I value the advice and input. And its my thread, I can vent.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    6 years ago
    And the rest of us have the right to call you on your stupid shit.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Sure, I don't mind negative input if its constructive
  • Pizza (hiatus)
    •
    6 years ago
    @ PhatBoy702 I’m sorry about your situation. Would you share photos of the girl? She must be a real beauty to cause such emotions.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    I don't want to post her pics on the forum... Don't know how anyways. I did the most fucked up thing but it worked. I got drunk with her friend and fucked her. The girl I like got in touch a few hours after... all over me again.
  • GACA
    •
    6 years ago
    I think this is the same troll who claimed to have given strippers AIDS
  • IceyLoco
    •
    6 years ago
    Im not a troll
  • abqspencer
    •
    6 years ago
    NICE! Glad she's back.
  • Lil_Baller100
    •
    3 years ago
    Daaaaaaammmmmnnnnnn
  • Mate27
    •
    3 years ago
    Yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh bboooooooiiiiiieeeeeeee!!
  • SirLapdancealot
    •
    3 years ago
    Wow has PhatBoy99 / IceyDodo / 2ICEE evolved since this thread. It certainly hasn't aged well. 😂
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