I've been there. But it's not just a black girl thing. For me it's about any dancer you're not interested in. I've tried tons of different excuses, I've tried "maybe later", and everything else. I think the very best thing is just to say "no thanks". But be a gentleman about it.
The same you tell any girl from any race. "No thank you."
If they're really persist just tell her you'd prefer to be alone. If she snaps back "you came to a strip club to be alone?" Say "yes until I find the right person for some company and I haven't found her yet."
In my case I tell the whitegirls I only like getting dances from the black girls & they pretty-much leave me alone after that - I also do that w/ the skinny black-girls, i.e. I tell them I only like getting dances from the thick girls & they pretty-much leave me alone after that - I guess they figure if they are not my type then no use (or Juice) in trying to hustle me since they figure they'll be wasting their time.
Part of the problem is that chessmaster is black (but hey nobody is perfect :)) - thus black dancers at mixed-clubs will probably make a beeline for him thinking he'll wanna a sista - it happens to me in the rare cases I see a white or Hispanic chick in the black clubs I hit
You start with "No thank you." If they are persistent and keep trying, then say "No, I am not interested and I don't want you to waste your time." or say "No, you are not my type and I don't want you to waste your time."
If she still stays (get out your crowbar) guard your space, gentle and firm tell her again, you don't want her to waste her time. You might get a manager if she's rude, I guess. Me, I'd leave and go to the stage. One time I had a ratchet black dance sit down just because I was scanning the room. She was terrible, wouldn't leave, paid her $$ to go away, nothing. then she got out her phone and started playing on it (which she isn't allowed to have). I had to go up to the stage and get another girl, bring her back to the table, before the first girl would leave. But that was extreme.
Also part of the problem can sometimes be that black dancers can often have a harder time selling dances in the mixed/mostly-white clubs, so they sometimes seem to get extra-pissed/frustrated "when one of their own" turns them down & "doesn't help them out" by buying dances from them
If you're one of the few black customers in a mostly white club, the few black dancers are going to claim you as their own. Similarly, if you're one of the few white customers in a mostly black club (which is my experience at Jimmy's in Chicago Heights late at night), the few white dancers are going to buzz around you. Either way, you just have to man up and say "Not tonight" or "I'm not interested" or something. The longer you pursue this hobby, the better you get at making your preferences known, both positively with the dancers you want and negatively with the ones you don't want. Your goal is self-confidence without cockiness, firmness without being a dick about it.
Papi Chulo, I definitely believe that. The hardest dancers to dismiss / don't take no for an answer are the black chicas in mixed clubs or super-aggressive white dancers who you know hear 5+ nos before they badger the guy into a yes just to go away. While the guy is dragged back for dances by her claw-death-grip. Yikes!
Yeah papi hit the nail on the head. Every black stripper hits me up I'm assuming they think I'm more likely to be interested since I'm black and they're black. It gets old wanting to tell them get lost w/o being rude. Of course another issue is in these "mixed" (majority white) clubs the black dancers are usually skinny which is a definite no go. What I really need is a way to tell them no silently before they approach.
I've never had much negative reaction from black or white girls when I tell them no thanks. But the Latinas, I'm assuming Cubans because it was Miami, they get fucking mean. But, no is "no", in both English and Spanish, so there was not much room for misunderstanding .
Unfortunately there's no easy-way to not get approaced by dancers that are not your type - my go-to move is to just tell them "I just wanna chill by myself right now" w/ a straight-face & no smile & they usually get that to mean I'n not interested - & if they persist then I tell them they are not my type & I don't wanna waste their time (where in my case I tell the whitegirls I only get dances from black girls)
Yeah, often times black-girls in mixed/mostly-white clubs wil be more aggressive probably b/c they may feel the deck is kinda stacked against them & probably feel if they didn't push as hard they would not sell any dances - some dancers resort to the cock-blocking "stay by your side technique" & your only choice is to move rather than have to get nasty w/ them - that's why I try from the get-go to not to give them any inkling of interest by not even smiling at them or trying to be cordial
Dominic you're right. But besides the few black dancers, if there are any, not very many of them approach me to sit at my table. So I'm usually stage side or sitting alone most of the time.
I feel your pain Chess. I was chilling with a skinny black girl (she was cock blocking for me awhile). When she went to the locker room, I tipped this thick white girl and got dances from her. When the black girl saw me again, she was so pissed.
I have a favorite black dancer at Follies. She is not Papi's type. :) Almost every visit starts with having a drink with her and then getting 4 great dances. She says that I am her favorite white customer. So a week ago this fugly black chick asks me for a dance and I turn her down. Then she says "you are so in love with ______ that you won't give any one else a chance". I just smiled and she went away. Today I was getting my usual from my favorite black chick and I told her what the other girl said and she told me that a lot a black strippers have a hard time asking white guys for a dances because they don't know how to talk to them. So they just keep hitting on the "brothers".
My experience is that of a black mane but truth is I'm very white....but I believe because I'm heavy set and I dress in baggy clothing and maybe it's the action Bronson look I kinda got going on....I get a lot of black girls hitting on me at the clubs. Most are very persistent and I even have to use the word bitch to make some leave me alone...and I actually dislike using that word in person at a female.....
Funny shadow mentioned a favorite black dancer at follies on days...that is not papi mode....it might be the same chick I fuck with for a few dances lol...be funny if it was
Yes shadow is right. I suspect black girls in white or mixed clubs have a harder time trying to get white guys to buy dances so they might be more reliant on the brothers, probably more so than white girls in black clubs relying on white guys.
^^^ touchè on that.... I actually had to tell one girl that if I was looking for sistas I'd be at a different club. Felt very uncomfortable and then they spread rumors that you're a racist ass oreo
The convo could be very much described as "two ships passing in the night" (including the dancer not even getting the reference). Where instead with some black or mixed dancers, particularly one with white culture immersion upbringing (Miss Universe look, she speaks four languages, none of which are Ebonics) I find talking with such a dancer is effortless and there is much common ground and often the lady possesses a magnetic personality that could charm a snake. Or as we say around here: she's a gifted conversationalist.
Skinny black chicks make crazy bank on white middle aged men, especially if they straighten their hair. I'm hard thinking about it right now, visiting my favorite black skinny stripper with the best blow job lips in the world, and having the knowledge to use them.
I am a desperate guy, I like almost any woman that will get nekid for me. But if I am not interested I am not interested and say no thank you or that I am waiting on someone.
In cases where a dancer just wouldn't leave gracefully, I have just taken my drink and gone to the men's room. I have never had one still at the table when I went back out onto the floor. I have also noticed that saying "I'm going to tip her" and tipping the dancer on stage tends to work gracefully, too.
On the occasions where a dancer seems to have claimed me (maybe by even telling the others), I just go up and talk to an unoccupied dancer I might be interested in. Of course, you could say that you're going to talk to someone before doing that to gracefully take your leave of the dancer who isn't taking the hint.
Black or white, if I'm not interested in them I just politely tell them that I told someone that I'd wait for her. Or if it's early in the day I say I just arrived and like to have a couple drinks alone first before I start getting dances. They get the message
On the one hand, all's fair in love and war and strip clubs, so whatever works. On the other hand, I've seen the passive-aggressive, obviously-intimidated-male tactics some of you use backfire, I've seen the girls really haze a guy they think is weak (and SW is absolutely full of such stories). Then again, easy for me to say, I stick mostly with low hustle clubs, and I remember things being rougher at high-hustle and divier clubs.
I always handle things the same way: a polite, smiling "no thanks", with direct eye contact and tone of finality in my voice. That's almost all it takes. If she keeps at it, sometimes I get firmer, sometimes I play with her verbally until she gets tired of wasting time with me, and surprisingly often, if she's clever and funny, I'll invite her to stay for a drink "but I"m not tipping or buying dances"... I don't at all mind spending a few minutes talking to a fun girl, before I move onto more carnal pursuits with another girl.
OMFG, Papi! I remember when that skit that Eddie Murphy played on SNL cam on live TV back in the 80's like it was yesterday. All the kids in school talked about it all week after it played, because it was an instant classic! So fricking funny!
Want some company? No thanks. Why not? You're not my type. What is your type? One who doesn;t keep on asking questions after I have politely said no thanks.
It's been answered multiple times already but just say no thanks, i'm not interested, or some variation. You're not obligated to support or contribute to any of them unless you choose to.
-->"Subraman, I like your idea to verbally joust with them at your table. Then they can either stay uncompensated or leave on their own. "
It's not for the faint of heart, or the guys above who have to slink off to the bathroom to hide from a 22-year-old in a g-string :) I do it completely playfully... the one rule i have is -- I don't let the girls ask me questions or get me in their little juvenile verbal judo around "don't you like me" "don't you like black girls" "who are you waiting for" etc. They get no answers from me, if they want to converse with me, I lead, they follow, or they can GTFO.. A typical conversation might go like:
Me: "No thanks"
Her: "Why not? Am I not your type?"
Me: "I dunno -- who do you think would be my type?"
Her: "I think you like big titties, like that girl over there"
Me: "Really! I look like a big titty guy?"
Her: "Are you?"
Me: "What in the world makes me look like a big titty guy?"
(etc.)
Anyway, you see the point -- I never answer her question, and she gets questions back from me. I lead the conversation to where I want it go, always playfully and with a smile, and she answers. Eventually, she tires of me and walks away, or as I said, occasionally I have so much fun with the girl that I invite her for a drink. Win either way :)
I've meet some aggressive bitches before but this bitch is the Queen bitch.
I first arrive to the club and all I want to do is let my eyes adjust and order up some of my famous buffalo chackin fangers with dipping sauce of ranch dressing.
Before I know it this sweet dancer comes over and asked to spend time with me. I let her know I just got in and I'm about to eat. She said that's fine then she orders some food herself.
At this point some of you are probably thinking juice just found his DS but unfortunately she physically just is not my type but I don't mind the conversation from a kind person.
After our buffalo chackin she gets up and starts giving me a table side dance. Maybe she didn't see how much I had to eat (double order) but I needed to just watch the stage show, tip and let my food settle.
But this bitch can't take a hint. I say I'm not buying...she said its ok it's free baby. At this point I'm looking for a bouncer, dj or manager to save me but to no avail.
So I go to stand up and she shoves me back into my chair then flops or elbow drops my gut.
I quickly get rude and say...look bitch...I said no and get the fuck off me
She looked shocked....you could tell she had that thought like how am I getting rejected by this fat ass....so she blows the fuck up....calls me a fagget and all kinds of shit.
Luckily she is a traveling stripper and has a bad reputation with this club and management took my side got the bitch away from me then made things right with a free double order of buffalo chackin.
@Subraman, thing is, I have had them stay for an hour after I told them I wasn't spending on them. I didn't go to a club to argue with dancers or to be clockblocked, Luckily, most get strong hints like "I am just hanging out right now", "I am just watching the stage" or "I am waiting on someone".
When that doesn't do the trick, whatever will work quickly and with the minimum of hard feelings is usually what I would rather do. I might even pick her later for having put in a strong effort if the others turn out to be low-effort types.
Ppwh, it's been a while since I've met strippers as aggressive as you're running into,I can definitely sympathize. I don't know if I'm just getting luckier and choosing lower hustle clubs than you,or if I just project more confidence so the girls know they can't get away with that kind of shit with me (it is absolutely positively the case that the girls are more aggressive, and sometimes purposely haze guys who they think are weak). I like to think it's the latter, but maybe I've been lucky at the clubs I've been to. I can tell you that I ran into far more uncomfortable situations and aggressive strippers when I was a lot more uncomfortable and less direct in turning them down
Papi: I actually completely ignored the racial part of the question, I was speaking generally. For the most part, I stick to upscale clubs... I'd say average 3-5 AA strippers on a typical lineup.
I was ignoring the racial part of the question, too, translating it as "How do I handle the category of dancers who are particularly aggressive / hard to get rid of for me". I have never personally encountered a black dancer who was hard to get rid of. The ones who have been hard to get rid of for me have either been white or Asian.
Luckily, this kind of situation has happened rarely for me. It's probably in part because I tend to stick to clubs I like and the dancers figure out whether they are my preference. The ones who stayed for an hour were in a low-hustle/slow-hustle club. One sat with me apparently as a favor to her friend who was busy giving dances to try to get me stay in the club and not pick a different dancer. Other times, neither the dancer nor I were interested in dances with anyone else at the club so we just hung out and chatted. In other words, it wasn't a negative experience to have them around, so I didn't make any effort to get rid of them. Mainly, I wanted to point out that telling them you're not spending doesn't always mean they will leave anytime soon ;)
There have been times that I missed out, though, because someone I didn't really want to talk to right then was at my table, so I find it very useful to have quick, effective and reversible options to encourage them to move on.
I have never had this problem. But how about you start asking them to tell you about the other dancers. Specifically, which ones give blowjobs or fuck in VIP. If this doesn't run her off you might get some decent Intel. And if she claims she is the only one in the club you can have any fun with then you can tell her she isn't your type. Or that you are waiting for someone else.
I've pretty much given up strip clubs nowadays. I don't like the atmosphere, the dancer quality has detoriated, and I also dreaded having confrontations with black girls. I think the problem is that the rachet ho' mentality has become popular.
I know that twelve to fifteen years ago black girls dancing in strip clubs did not have this shitty attitude and over aggressive approach. And back then I was just as likely to get dances from a good looking black woman as I would from any other dancer. But now most of the ones there are just a hot ghetto mess.
And it's not just in strip clubs. This thug and ho' culture is pervasive in black culture. I have lot of , 20 to 30 year old something, nephews who are unwilling to work, shun education, and expect easy money by "hustling". They look at like I'm "uncle moneybags". That or they think I'm a free hotelier.
As for your question, I have one suggestion. Do not say something like "I just here for the white girls". If you do then she'll go grab one of her just as hood white girlfriends, with the expectation both of them can hang with you and "make bank".
This is kind of stupid I don't know about you guys, but I've said this before, how does an 18-24 year old girl in her under wear intimidate a grown man?
Thanks, Subraman. That doesn't seem like it would eat that much time, especially if she's amusing, and for free. What works against me is I only have like an hour and a half or two hours to club. But jousting for 5-10 minutes is skin off my back. And it beats sitting alone. :)
read TUSCL troll posts to them. internet trolls are the worst and they will decide that they dont want to interact with you after you read a few @mikey aka @zipperhead aka @TheeOSU aka @CaraLynn87 aka @rickthezoo aka many other crap identities
@Meat72 your misspelling of chessmasters name was flagged by my space geneious algorithm as yet another potential @mikey alias. know that i will reveal you as @mikey if the algorithm if the fourier transform of the data yields a >0.99 posterior probability of you being @mikey
my space geneious algorithm has only been fooled once. it yielded a high posterior for @Hugh_G._Rection being @mikey but subsequent data analysis has indicated a lower credibility. i now believe @Hugh_G._Rection is simply a different person who happens to sound a bit like @mikey
Just curious, wasn't there a (very much panned) article referencing a Stripperweb article about "Customers to avoid" a few weeks ago? My point: While much of it was BS maybe there was a gem in that post that could be a 'poison pill' to girls you wanted to scare off, something you could remedy easily once you caught the eye of a girl you wanted to 'go in back' with.
A 'poison pill' strategy for undesired dancers that could be turned off at will would be a wonderful thing to have.
I don't remember any dancers not leaving me alone after saying no thanks for the past few years but I do remember a couple of occasions or 3. One white dancer in an almost empty club, it was still early seemed as stubborn as me. I told her no several times and she just wanted to argue about it instead of get up and ask me later like any ordinary determined dancer. I got up and sat at the stage after a while. That was unusual. I think she was new to dancing and in a way, I hope she didn't feel too rejected because she didn't ask anyone for dances after that. I never saw her again so she might have quit.
One dancer didn't take no for an answer. I was surprised at her response. She started dancing for me doing a table dance even though I said no. I wasn't going to give her a dime but to my surprise, she could have been a witch doctor having an effect on my body I didn't understand. I gave her 10 bucks for the table dance after she was done and she never bothered me again.
One dancer, and this one dancer I can't remember what race she was, called my bluff and my excuses I was making up. I think I might have been smiling which is a no no for dancers to take you seriously. She offered free dances and said I wouldn't have to pay if I didn't like them. I was saying I didn't want to pay. She persisted after I said no to free dances. She offered free dances no strings attached not even having to pay for them even if I liked them. I said no thanks. Then she offered to take me to her home. She didn't say what if any offer that might lead to. I thought she was bluffing when she made that offer but if I didn't want a dance, why even try to go to her home? She didn't bother me any more after escalating offers.
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If they're really persist just tell her you'd prefer to be alone. If she snaps back "you came to a strip club to be alone?" Say "yes until I find the right person for some company and I haven't found her yet."
If she still stays (get out your crowbar) guard your space, gentle and firm tell her again, you don't want her to waste her time. You might get a manager if she's rude, I guess. Me, I'd leave and go to the stage. One time I had a ratchet black dance sit down just because I was scanning the room. She was terrible, wouldn't leave, paid her $$ to go away, nothing. then she got out her phone and started playing on it (which she isn't allowed to have). I had to go up to the stage and get another girl, bring her back to the table, before the first girl would leave. But that was extreme.
It is what it is.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/bye-felici…
My experience is that of a black mane but truth is I'm very white....but I believe because I'm heavy set and I dress in baggy clothing and maybe it's the action Bronson look I kinda got going on....I get a lot of black girls hitting on me at the clubs. Most are very persistent and I even have to use the word bitch to make some leave me alone...and I actually dislike using that word in person at a female.....
Funny shadow mentioned a favorite black dancer at follies on days...that is not papi mode....it might be the same chick I fuck with for a few dances lol...be funny if it was
Crazyjoe, that might work.
If I dont want to burn the bridge forever, I say "I just got here".
SJG
The convo could be very much described as "two ships passing in the night" (including the dancer not even getting the reference). Where instead with some black or mixed dancers, particularly one with white culture immersion upbringing (Miss Universe look, she speaks four languages, none of which are Ebonics) I find talking with such a dancer is effortless and there is much common ground and often the lady possesses a magnetic personality that could charm a snake. Or as we say around here: she's a gifted conversationalist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwerTI95… -- "Bye Felicia" clip + song
Should I say "Bye Felicia" to a sista and see what happens?
She said she would be here, damn it.
Papi I never saw that skit. but Eddie Murphy was hilarious.
(takes a few seconds for it to start)
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10356
On the occasions where a dancer seems to have claimed me (maybe by even telling the others), I just go up and talk to an unoccupied dancer I might be interested in. Of course, you could say that you're going to talk to someone before doing that to gracefully take your leave of the dancer who isn't taking the hint.
I always handle things the same way: a polite, smiling "no thanks", with direct eye contact and tone of finality in my voice. That's almost all it takes. If she keeps at it, sometimes I get firmer, sometimes I play with her verbally until she gets tired of wasting time with me, and surprisingly often, if she's clever and funny, I'll invite her to stay for a drink "but I"m not tipping or buying dances"... I don't at all mind spending a few minutes talking to a fun girl, before I move onto more carnal pursuits with another girl.
You can always lie and say you're waiting on a dancer and when she asks who, decline to say.
It's not for the faint of heart, or the guys above who have to slink off to the bathroom to hide from a 22-year-old in a g-string :) I do it completely playfully... the one rule i have is -- I don't let the girls ask me questions or get me in their little juvenile verbal judo around "don't you like me" "don't you like black girls" "who are you waiting for" etc. They get no answers from me, if they want to converse with me, I lead, they follow, or they can GTFO.. A typical conversation might go like:
Me: "No thanks"
Her: "Why not? Am I not your type?"
Me: "I dunno -- who do you think would be my type?"
Her: "I think you like big titties, like that girl over there"
Me: "Really! I look like a big titty guy?"
Her: "Are you?"
Me: "What in the world makes me look like a big titty guy?"
(etc.)
Anyway, you see the point -- I never answer her question, and she gets questions back from me. I lead the conversation to where I want it go, always playfully and with a smile, and she answers. Eventually, she tires of me and walks away, or as I said, occasionally I have so much fun with the girl that I invite her for a drink. Win either way :)
I first arrive to the club and all I want to do is let my eyes adjust and order up some of my famous buffalo chackin fangers with dipping sauce of ranch dressing.
Before I know it this sweet dancer comes over and asked to spend time with me. I let her know I just got in and I'm about to eat. She said that's fine then she orders some food herself.
At this point some of you are probably thinking juice just found his DS but unfortunately she physically just is not my type but I don't mind the conversation from a kind person.
After our buffalo chackin she gets up and starts giving me a table side dance. Maybe she didn't see how much I had to eat (double order) but I needed to just watch the stage show, tip and let my food settle.
But this bitch can't take a hint. I say I'm not buying...she said its ok it's free baby. At this point I'm looking for a bouncer, dj or manager to save me but to no avail.
So I go to stand up and she shoves me back into my chair then flops or elbow drops my gut.
I quickly get rude and say...look bitch...I said no and get the fuck off me
She looked shocked....you could tell she had that thought like how am I getting rejected by this fat ass....so she blows the fuck up....calls me a fagget and all kinds of shit.
Luckily she is a traveling stripper and has a bad reputation with this club and management took my side got the bitch away from me then made things right with a free double order of buffalo chackin.
When that doesn't do the trick, whatever will work quickly and with the minimum of hard feelings is usually what I would rather do. I might even pick her later for having put in a strong effort if the others turn out to be low-effort types.
How many AA dancers are on an avg visit of yours?
Luckily, this kind of situation has happened rarely for me. It's probably in part because I tend to stick to clubs I like and the dancers figure out whether they are my preference. The ones who stayed for an hour were in a low-hustle/slow-hustle club. One sat with me apparently as a favor to her friend who was busy giving dances to try to get me stay in the club and not pick a different dancer. Other times, neither the dancer nor I were interested in dances with anyone else at the club so we just hung out and chatted. In other words, it wasn't a negative experience to have them around, so I didn't make any effort to get rid of them. Mainly, I wanted to point out that telling them you're not spending doesn't always mean they will leave anytime soon ;)
There have been times that I missed out, though, because someone I didn't really want to talk to right then was at my table, so I find it very useful to have quick, effective and reversible options to encourage them to move on.
I know that twelve to fifteen years ago black girls dancing in strip clubs did not have this shitty attitude and over aggressive approach. And back then I was just as likely to get dances from a good looking black woman as I would from any other dancer. But now most of the ones there are just a hot ghetto mess.
And it's not just in strip clubs. This thug and ho' culture is pervasive in black culture. I have lot of , 20 to 30 year old something, nephews who are unwilling to work, shun education, and expect easy money by "hustling". They look at like I'm "uncle moneybags". That or they think I'm a free hotelier.
As for your question, I have one suggestion. Do not say something like "I just here for the white girls". If you do then she'll go grab one of her just as hood white girlfriends, with the expectation both of them can hang with you and "make bank".
my space geneious algorithm has only been fooled once. it yielded a high posterior for @Hugh_G._Rection being @mikey but subsequent data analysis has indicated a lower credibility. i now believe @Hugh_G._Rection is simply a different person who happens to sound a bit like @mikey
@submaram your deflection for dominance is too long winded. Easier to say yes to a flat chested hoe about preference vs egging on a conversation
A 'poison pill' strategy for undesired dancers that could be turned off at will would be a wonderful thing to have.
One dancer didn't take no for an answer. I was surprised at her response. She started dancing for me doing a table dance even though I said no. I wasn't going to give her a dime but to my surprise, she could have been a witch doctor having an effect on my body I didn't understand. I gave her 10 bucks for the table dance after she was done and she never bothered me again.
One dancer, and this one dancer I can't remember what race she was, called my bluff and my excuses I was making up. I think I might have been smiling which is a no no for dancers to take you seriously. She offered free dances and said I wouldn't have to pay if I didn't like them. I was saying I didn't want to pay. She persisted after I said no to free dances. She offered free dances no strings attached not even having to pay for them even if I liked them. I said no thanks. Then she offered to take me to her home. She didn't say what if any offer that might lead to. I thought she was bluffing when she made that offer but if I didn't want a dance, why even try to go to her home? She didn't bother me any more after escalating offers.