What state has the worst strip clubs

37 comments

• GACA

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  10 years ago

  here we go again with this... I'll save your time and tell you what they told me: there are more states with bad strip clubs than there are states with good to great strip clubs, so its pointless to focus on the states with bad strip clubs.
• GACA

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  10 years ago

  and the other thing is at stripclubs laws vary from city to city so you can't paint an entire state with the same fucking brush perfect state example being Georgia
• Mal2

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  10 years ago

  I'm going with utah or Arkansas.
• Club_Goer_Seattle

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  10 years ago

  Washington state is pretty bad. Only 15 clubs statewide. All are non-alcohol and with only bikini lap dances (legally). Some mileage to be had at just a few clubs. And, at least a three-hour drive to the next nearest city (Portland) with a large selection of clubs. A 16th club is due to open soon, which may be uncharacteristic of the current clubs.
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  Virginia and D.C. from what I hear.
• londonguy

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  10 years ago

  I haven't got a Scooby doo, but Maine doesn't look that exciting?
• GoVikings

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  10 years ago

  Virginia, where I live, would definitely be in the conversation
• motorhead

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  10 years ago

  I've never heard of a 2AMer in Vermont. So, is that good or bad?
• shadowcat

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  10 years ago

  I gotta go along with GACAclub.
• JohnSmith69

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  10 years ago

  Arkansas wins hands down. I will never go to a club there again unless things change. Virginia, DC and Utah are tied for second place.
• ArtCollege

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  10 years ago

  Idaho is pretty lame too. Here's how I think of it. If a client wants me to go to Miami, Phoenix, Tampa, Dallas or Detroit, I'll go if I have to give him a discount. If client wants me in Salt Lake or Orlando or DC, he needs to pay full freight.
• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  Does it really matter? We all live somewhere and that is the hand we are dealt. I kind of like my Full House. :) Anyway, if one is planning to visit another state or city just for the clubs, help can be easily obtained here. And they may well be the PL King! :)
• tobala

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  10 years ago

  If you've ever clubbed in Chattanooga you would say Tennessee, however the watering hole is one of my favorites. As said before it varies from town to town
• JohnSmith69

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  10 years ago

  Most stares very from town to town. But Arkansas, Utah, Virginia and DC suck in a bad way everywhere. Never been to Idaho so can't comment on that one.
• farmerart

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  10 years ago

  Never forget my home province of Alberta, the black hole of North America's strip club culture.
• MrDeuce

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  10 years ago

  I have visited strip clubs in about a dozen states, mostly in the Midwest plus Arkansas and Texas. If Bottoms Up in Fayetteville is the best Arkansas has to offer, then that state's strip club scene is pathetic indeed.
• rickdugan

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  10 years ago

  Virginia sucks monkey balls and Arkansas is close behind it. Missouri clubs really suck too. I hear what everyone is saying about DC, but at least it's clubs have hot naked girls.
• Club_Goer_Seattle

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  10 years ago

  in deference to what GACA mentioned, the circumstances here in Washington state that I mentioned above, ARE such that one CAN "paint an entire state with the same fucking brush."
• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  fa, How you doing these days? I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a better New Year!
• PhantomGeek

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  10 years ago

  I'd have to vote for (or would that be against?) North Dakota. We have five clubs in the whole state (at least per this site). The Northern in Fargo pretends that it's an upscale club, given the prices for cover and dances. In Devils Lake, you have no idea if or when Outlaws is going to be open. As for the other three, I've never been to them, but considering they're out in oil country, I'll probably pass. One guy I know is from that area and he made it sound like there should be more 2am reports. For Canada, I'd have to go with Manitoba. Never been to any other province -- for that matter, any other city than Winnipeg -- but the last club I went to was pretty over-priced (worse than the Northern), dancers were scarce (something like 30+ minute breaks between dancers), and lap dances are illegal. Nuts, why pay $30 to watch a dancer get naked on a small stage three feet in front of you when you could watch her do the exact same thing on the main stage?
• Dougster

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  10 years ago

  North Dakota? But according to Stevie-girl's economic theories states with booming economies should have strip clubs with the most extras.
• GACA

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  10 years ago

  @Club_Goer ... well played and touchè @Dougster yes funny thing about booming economies, everyone gets paid more and treated better to do less, and people have the nerve, neigh the gall to start holding on to their dignity. I just started making six figures, so mad I couldn't get in before Obama may have fucked up the economy for PL's. Might have to resort to cherry picking my sister friends if this keeps up.
• GACA

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  10 years ago

  ...and the six figures is $350k of course
• PhantomGeek

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  10 years ago

  Doug, North Dakota's also a baby bible belt state and pretty top-heavy with conservative leaders. But there does seem to be a disproportionate amount of Backpage activity in that area of the state, as opposed to the eastern area. I also made a mistake when I said that three of the clubs were in oil country. Two are; I thought the third was in Minot but it's actually in Wahpeton, here on the eastern border.
• DandyDan

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  10 years ago

  I would be inclined to add Nebraska to the states with the worst strip clubs. The two in Omaha are jokes, and the 3 in Lincoln are hit and miss. I have no idea what the ones in Odessa, Elm Creek and Valentine are like, but I've heard they don't always have dancers, even if they are open for business. If it weren't for Shaker's in Waverly, I would give my home state a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10.
• jestrite50

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  10 years ago

  I say the worst state is the USA. The clubs in Europe are a lot more fun !
• Darkblue999

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  10 years ago

  Virginia should be first. The clibs are boring her e. No full grind lap [view link] touching. No topless.dancers are not hot. I have not been to Arkansas.
• ATACdawg

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  10 years ago

  Yes, Virginia. There are nipples under those pasties! (Popular Christmas reference)
• MrDeuce

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  10 years ago

  I will lukewarmly come to the defense of Missouri strip clubs. They are worthless around St Louis (but St Louisans can cross the river to the strip club wonderland of East St Louis). However, I had an excellent time last year at Vogue and (especially) Rumors in Columbia, and I believe great fun can be had at a couple of clubs in Kansas City. The Missouri state legislature banned nude and even topless dancing a few years ago, but the two clubs in Columbia were certainly topless and rather high-contact.
• dr_lee

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  10 years ago

  The urban myth may be that smaller states tend to have the worst, but that may not be true. I got this incredible dance (probably best I've ever gotten) from this dancer in a South Carolina strip club (small, out of the way). But the catch is that the girl was from Florida (and I don't doubt it the way she looked, which was smokin hot!) and said she drove up to SC just for a few days. Why I don't know! Sometimes dancers will go work at the strangest places.
• scatterbrain

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  10 years ago

  Utah...no question. Damn Mormons.
• jerikson40

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  10 years ago

  I think it's safe to say that the entire Northeast US pretty much sucks for strip clubs, maybe with the exception of Rhode Island ? But as GACAClub says, it varies by city, not by state. California has some decent clubs around LA, but just two hours south in San Diego it's the dust bowl of strip clubs, and has been super sucky forever. And also it depends a lot on what you consider good....hot girls, mileage, nice decor ? Someone mentioned Washington State. A while back Seattle was somewhat of a mecca for good mileage clubs, but that crashed to the ground in recent years I guess. And I guess Atlanta was super sucky for a long time and has now recovered? The couple times I visited many years ago I didn't even bother with the clubs. Haven't been since, but it sounds like it's got some great clubs. Seems like the midwest states, and those east of the rockies, are more likely to be sucky. Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Montana, Colorado, Iowa, Nebraska....hell, like GACAClub said, most of the US sucks. The really good ones are few and far between.
• DandyDan

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  10 years ago

  @jerikson- I've been to enough Iowa clubs to know that while most of Iowa will never match Detroit for mileage (or so I hear, since I've never been there), there are some clubs in Iowa which can keep up, although I do believe the cost is high in certain clubs, which may make it not worth it.
• dr_lee

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  10 years ago

  Technically, Vegas is probably the go-to place, but even that place is overrated. I've seen very few truly gorgeous women in Vegas. At least, given the volume of dancers, the percentage of 8s and 9s (no such thing as a 10) is not what it could or should be for Vegas. Pound for pound, Vegas is not that great.
• jerikson40

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  10 years ago

  Vegas is way overpriced, and way over-hyped. It's great for young guys who've never been to Vegas or a strip club before and don't know any better and don't mind paying thru the nose as part of a vacation with their buds. It's all part of the Vegas experience. But for anyone who wants some value in their strip club experience, it sucks. I can't count the number of times I've been to Vegas, but avoided the clubs there altogether. Just ain't worth it. Vegas is for the kind of guy who wants to tell his friends when he gets back home "Hey, you won't believe it !! I paid this gorgeous dancer $500 and she let me touch her boobies !!! It was awesome !! And I won'$2,000 at poker". Of course, they actually lost $2,000, but it's all part of the Vegas experience. Lie about how much you lost....
• goonster

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  10 years ago

  Nevada, for one reason only. Way way way overpriced.
• mjx01

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  10 years ago

  DC definitely for LDs. Blaming an entire state for bad clubs isn't necessarily accurate. I would not argue with southern Idaho (Boise or Pocotello) being very tame bikini club locals, but the club near Coeur d'Alene ID ain't bag.