Knowing a Stripper's Real Identity

What are you talking about, giving losers rides? And have you never dated and given your name and phone # out? .

yes several customers who I consider friends have my cell # ... I rarely do dates because I am busy and I think if I even had time to do dates with a few guys a day I still could'nt please them all ... So I settle on just having a good time ITC ... I dance at 2 clubs and work a retail job, I also clean houses part time too. Yes several customers want rides ... when they find out that I sometimes give dancers a ride they also want one.

You must really know some lame ass customers if they have to resort to calling you for rides. That sound more like the typical stripper boy friend. As a rule I don't ask strippers for personal information but over time I just gradually acquire it. It just seems natural to me that if two people are getting intimate physically then you are bound to find out more about each other.

Thanks Shadow its the guys like you that I am really tempted to date OTC; because the insistent nosiness / spying on my car types spook me altogether. When it comes up naturally it does not strike me as offensive but instead its two people really getting to know about each other

I used to obsessed with finding out personal info on dancers I was attracted too, but I've grown out of that as I've matured. I do know who my ATF and #2 really are, and we're FB friends as well, but my #3 I don't and I'm fine not knowing her personal info. I think the 20 year old PL's are most likely to think knowing a dancers real name etc. increases the level of intimacy. The dancers themselves usually get really pissed off because they get in trouble!

I am one that really don't care to know the personal info. But in conversation when you ask things like.... What are some of your hobbies? Or do you work at other clubs? You know the typical BS things asked before the "do you wanna dance" comes into play. Then like shadow stated that if you become a regular info just passes naturally.

But the guys who keep asking and demand to know....those are the ones you should make up more elaborate lies...LOL

Agree with the general sentiment here. Some of what you're experiencing is probably unhealthy prying on the part of the customer. But some is just the natural inclination to know about the person you're talking to, if you think you have a connection with them -- and to some extent, the better you do your job, the more some guys think they have a connection (YOU know the connection is with fantasy-you, not real-you, but if it feels like real-you to them ...). I am certain that in a lot of cases, guys are just asking the same kinds of questions they'd ask any woman they're attracted to and want to get to know better, not realizing that for a stripper, there are security implications and other sensitivities. That is, it's not always sinister prying to stalk you, it's just a bit of cluelessness on where your boundaries are on keeping yourself secure and your SC personal separate from your real persona.

It sounds to me like you should be re-thinking what giving guys who wait around the entire shift rides buys you. I've had give-each-other-rides relationships with a few close ATFs (actually, always me doing the driving, not them), but I wouldn't do that with most

@crsm: Dancers have hobbies?

I don't get why a dancer would give any customer a ride, for any reason. My interest in a dancer's personal information is zero. I don't ask about their sexuality, children, other jobs, relat6ionship status etc. Chat about music, tv, current events and that's it. Their personal life is theirs and mine is mine and the twain shall never meet.

^^^^ Of course. You said you have a wife

I never agreed to give any rides to customers, I just hate them badgering me insistently even after I said NO politely several times. Btw this happened when I tried to go to my car alone and customer waiting by my car to get in! I went back into club with him and told bartender to call him a cab and had doormen make sure I drove away alone.

@trixxi --

You have to remember you are sort of a dream girl fantasy to most of your customers. They often don't understand that this is an act, you are wearing a max where you playing into them. They don't get that the real you has interests that aren't all about them, and they are often falling in love a little with the trixxi stripper persona.

I don't really know the answer here. The guys who are indifferent to your personal information are the ones who could safely have it because they get you are at work and the real you isn't the same girl. The guys who anxiously want your personal information are the ones who could really get out of hand.

As far as the car, and waiting, will the bouncers help? Club security is kinda setup to help in these sorts of situation. Otherwise I'd tell him if he waits by your car again you are going to call the cops not the bartender. That guy sounds like a potential stalker.

@rockstar..... Well yeah when I tell them i am into kayaking...of course they are too... ;-P

Trixxi, I hate being "that dude", but I recommend extreme caution with dealing with PL's. Even if you do OTC, there should be a separation of your real self, and your club persona.

I have met countless babes, who drive far, take buses, or trains to work as far from home as possible. One lady took the bus every weekend from Windsor to ottawa, so there was no way anyone who knew her would meet her.

PL's might be a source of income, but they can also be very dangerous.

Asking personal info can be out of line; but most likely those that do it do it w/o any ill intentions in mind. Nevertheless, there are the minority whom may be a bit emotionally unstable; and b/c of this any woman should have boundaries when dealing with men they don’t know very well.

A dude should not be asking a dancer for a ride; he should know that not only is that pathetic; but is also out of line and perhaps you may be better off not associating with these types.

When it comes to asking personal info; is not necessarily a custy thing; it’s a people thing. Some people are naturally open and don’t mind and/or enjoy having personal convos; whether it’d be in a SC setting or not.

And it also works both ways – there are dancers that will ask a custy everything under the sun and will often talk about everything in their lives (kids; SO; finances; family members; etc) - so it’s more of a people thing than a PL thing.

From what you described; IMO you are being too overly friendly. A dancer should be polite and be good/fun company; but that does not mean she has to bow to every single custy desire/demand – any “’good” relationship requires the appropriate boundaries and IMHO you need to start setting some.

BTW trixx – how old are you? - certainly feel free to disregard this question.

Why do you want to hide it, Trixxi?






Strippers have this thing where they want to be a sex worker and a civilian at the same time. You can't be both. The reality is that stripping is a lifestyle, not a job.

I wish you guys would get off this shit about it being a fantasy. It's not a fantasy. It's real for everyone involved. Is it monopoly money that the customers are handing over? Is coming home broke a fantasy?

Nosy and obsessive clients are part of the cost of doing business in the sex industry. It would be great if people didn't prod, but it is what it is. Embrace it or tell 'em to fuck off.

^ Damn – the real Dr. Phil could not have said it better himself LOL

A guy waiting at a dancer's car around here is their way of saying: "I want three bouncers to beat me to a pulp".

Any drunk customer is a potential rapist. Don't share personal info. If they don't like it, talk to the manager. They don't own you. You own you.

I'm similar to shadowcat. I tend to get that information sooner or later without chasing after it. I'm a regular customer so the dancers who I see a lot tell me their personal information and several of them are friends of mine on FaceBook. Dancers who I don't see a lot, don't tell me anything and I don't ask.

Like SC, I don't often ask but tend to acquire personal info through the natural course of a conversation, typically over a couple visits. I'm still young enough to have some things in common with dancers, or at least have recent experiences that relate to theirs. It leads to a degree of comfort and blending of the entertainer persona into the actual dancer.

I'd have a set of bullshit responses for people asking you shit you aren't comfortable with. They can be simple lies to just avoid the issue of explaining the concepts of boundaries, or they can be not so subtle hints that you're cool with listening to their personal bullshit but aren't interested in being their friend. You might have to try both approaches to get a customer to shut up.

After that, I'd take superdude's advice and draw the line somewhere and seek the assistance of management if its crossed or your pretty sure it will be. Some dudes are fucked up and will go straight to stalking a bitch. Your line of work puts you in danger of running into a higher percentage of those dudes than other jobs outside the sex industry. It is a cost of doing business. That doesn't make it right, but it isn't going to change.

Obviously if I really like the girl and we have a good connection, I don't mind knowing some personal information about the girl. However there are some dancers that tell me their life story, I don't wanna hear that shit.

Guys ask for your personal information because they want to get to know you and date you and have sex with you. If you want to see them OTC (either romantically or P4P), you can tell them all about yourself. If you're not interested, you should cut them off and not encourage them by being polite. You need to be careful about stalkers, who may be mentally unbalanced.

we should start calling you curious george because you always want to know something lol

"Knowing a Stripper's Real Identity"

Personalizes the experience more for me. I'm not looking for Fantasy.

I have known the REAL 1st and last names of my 3 Ex-ATFs, their real addresses and been in their homes. And met family members.

I would never ask a dancer her real name, address, plate number. Sometimes, when your talking, you ask personal stuff cause you forget it's not just two people having a normal convo in a bar. That why I'm not as big as some customers about have a big chat with every stripper before the LDs. It's inevitably a very superficial conversation.

Trixxi, the word no separates the stripper from the hooker, and the hooker from the broke slut. You are very sweet, and that is why this simple, hard truth bothers you so much.

I have found out all kinds of info about alot of dancers, but it was intel that they offered up....I never point blank asked them. Only after we would meet OTC for whatever reason did I feel comfortable enough to ask more personal in depth questions of them, and them of me.

Not really into biodata of a dancer.

If she wants to offer it as convo material I have no problem with it. I would awesomely use my bio as a reply back.

Giving and receiving bio is IMO a recipe for getting slammed into the FriendZone.

Usually, it turns out most of my convo revolve around shallow topics that morph into funny punchlines.

they ask because inevitably they want to date you. You who are they're fantasy come to life are too good to be true and they forget that most dancers will NOT date men that they see in clubs, but it doesn't hurt to try (usually). By hoping to get all personal with you, perhaps they feel superior to these other gentlemen and you will place them on a pedastal and perhaps consider dinner and a movie...or at the very least offer free lap dances (or free sex, whichever the super monger goes for). Just try to remind every customer that you're just a fantasy and not interested in giving names, the same polite way you tell us you do, and I'm sure word would get around.
That's all it is, wanting to turn a stripper into a housewife. After all, how many girls can you find on the streets that super comfortable to walk around strangers on the regular in skimpy lingere (outside the beach)? Or is at hot as you (to many eyes)?

Or they could be, like I used to do, trying to make simply conversation....I did used to ask probing questions, but only so we could get familiar, she could eventually get comfortable and we could BOTH enjoy the lap dances she gave.

So I guess we can add "you ask a dancer for a ride home from the strip club" to the list of "you might be a PL if..."

Nope, I don't ask demeaning. I'm too proudful to allow even my girlfriend to buy me a dollar sandwich. Where in my post did you get an inkling of an idea like that? I don't even want to see these girls (most anyway) outside the club.

ask demeaning things*

Lots of guys ask for names, a little bit of personal info to try and go for an element of real-life connection - even if it's small, it can make the experience more enjoyable. It's not for everyone, but that's the benign explanation.

Asking for rides though is all about being a PUA, or trying to get OTC encounters going. And yes, unsolicited requests for rides only come from PL's (come on, you have to have enough $ for a cab LOL).

I would never give a dancer I just met a ride. You either get robbed or end up in jail.

I never ask for personal information since I really don't care. I'm there for the experience. not to play detective. Inevitably though many dancers volunteer information if your conversations go anywhere past the normal boring questions or if you really hit off with one.

The only personal information I want to know is how badly they want the BBC, and if their bf minds them coming home stretched out, lol!

My CF has quit dancing at the club but still meets me every few weeks for OTC at a nearby hotel. I offered to drive her initially but she said its unsafe for me - she lives in public housing. But the last couple visits she's asked me to come get her, the taxis are unreliable. As a middle-aged white guy, I'm a bit nervous waiting in the parking lot outside her crib. I don't want to turn her down, but more importantly, I'd like to stay alive.

@sofaking- are you black?

“… So I guess we can add "you ask a dancer for a ride home from the strip club" to the list of "you might be a PL if ..."

LOL – another classic 229 line :)


“… As a middle-aged white guy, I'm a bit nervous waiting in the parking lot outside her crib …”

Get some tinted windows on your car and stay in it with the engine running and doors locked until she comes out – the tints may not make it as noticeable that you are out of place.

One other issue about my CF - just found out her GF doesn't like her spending time with me. Life was hard enough worrying about boyfriends.

^ GF as in a friend that happens to be a girl or a romantic/sexual GF?