Ten Commandments of Strip Clubs

10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number

Then how can I set up OTC sessions?

5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute

Then how can I get her to fuck me?

3. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome

I'm a big boy. I can go places alone.

1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance

You're going to kill LapDanceKing.

LDK is going to hell.

LDK.....are you up yet and reading #1?

#10 no kissing

Maybe there is no kissing baseball

But there is certainly kissing in strip clubs. That's now a requirement for me

Whoever wrote those is on the beginning of the learning curve

WTF uwotm8? Don't you believe in freedom my man? There is ONE commandment for strip clubbin'

HAVE SOME MOTHAHFUCKIN' FUN. WEEEEE-YAAAAAAW!!!!

OK, maybe there are two...

1. HAVE SOME MOTHAHFUCKIN' FUN. WEEEEE-YAAAAAAW!!!!

2. If you bring the Colonel's XXXtra KRIS-pay to the club make sure you bring enough for your bros.

But everything else is on the table. Fuck yeah!!!

Right on brotha zip. That's the rule to live by.

I don't get #9 about the perfume

haha zipman. I'm not saying I agree with these, I just saw them and figured I'd put them out there.

....Obviously the writers for Elite don't actually attend strip clubs. Or if they do, they want to sound like the ultimate do-gooder

And I don't get #9 either... don't comment on the way she smells? that just sounds ass backwards.

Cool, cool. I thought that uwotm8 made it up. Elite don't know sheet.

Guess I'm going to hell. I broke most of those yesterday. :)

Well I'm going to hell. I broke all the rules last night.

Dumbest rules I've ever read.

Commandment no. 11: Forget the first ten.

10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number

    She asked for my number. Oh and I do Kiss her all the time.

11. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume

    Better things to compliment...

12. Thou shall tip the bathroom attendant

    check

13. Thou shall appreciate pole skills

6.Thou shall not inquire for her real name

After phone conversations I got it.

5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute

   Don't.

6. Thou shall go to private rooms with caution

   I went w/ Reckless abandon it more than worked for me.

7. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome

   I only go by myself

8. Thou shall not fall in love with a stripper

   Not yet...

9. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance

   Didn't, but...

Number 3 is ridiculous.

They have no idea what they are talking about.

What would you make the ten commandments?

Fortunately I'm a boomer and don't read any of the BS that sites like Elite Daily espouse. A collection of rules written by manginas or women who have either never stripped or only done it in air dance type gentleman's clubs are of no interest to me.

Well 7 is a decent one, if you like that sort of thing (I do), and 6 is OK, but only because it can make them uncomfortable.

10. Thou Shall return kisses only, and not badger her for her number

11. ???

12. ???

13. Thou shall not soak through during a lap dance

I'm okay with:

7. Thou shall appreciate pole skills

6.Thou shall not inquire for her real name

2. Thou shall not fall in love with a stripper

I mean, I do appreciate pole skills, who the fuck cares what her real name is, and caveat emptor if you fall in love

In addition, I have no idea how you horny fucks manage to come during just a lapdance. Damn, are you all 14? So like it or not, I'm stuck following:

1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance

This one is among the more retarded ones:

10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number

Even non-extras girls who don't do OTC use her number -- google voice set up for just this purpose, if she's smart -- to keep in touch with regulars, send out her schedule or "I really miss you, will you come see me today" messages. Whoever wrote this has no idea how thing work.

I don't understand this one. Why not?

9. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume

Fuck da bathroom troll

8. Thou shall tip the bathroom attendant

And total bullshit:

5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute

That's usually code words for "you're not even allowed to ask for extras or OTC"... again, someone has no idea how things work

Thou shalt not shit thine pants

I agree with 2,7,8...the rest are silly especially the one abt perfume and her number.

Actually, for us married dudes, perfume is a real issue! A strong perfume smell that lingers on you for hours and is different from your wife's scent is a sure path to an ugly argument when you get home.

I prefer gentle scents SPARINGLY applied.

Strong perfume is awful most of the time.

I texted a dancer last night. I guess they didn't think about adding thou shall not text a dancer.

She texted me back.

This thread reminds me of a safe hiking sign rules to follow. I found it off trail up about the 9 to 10,000 foot level on Mt. Rainier if I remember correctly. Actually I might have descended because it was in the ground and I was no longer on a glacier. I think there were only one or two rules I didn't break. I would have never found the sign otherwise. There was no trail anywhere near the sign, lol. Stay on the trails was one rule.

One rule I would have added for safe mountain hiking

1. Do not walk out on thin ice next to a whie water river at the 9,000 foot level.

My younger brother wanted to. We would have seen him die I believe if he had. At least there wasn't anyone stopping us from doing whatever we wanted. We were not wearing hiking boots, rope or any gear so the mountain climbers up on the glaciers were giving us some strange looks. lol

Sounds like these rules were written 2 decades ago. Anything goes now, and each dancer is different. Use whatever you want, to get what you need. They're looking at you from the same perspective!

Agreed stenton1!!!

Agreed ATAC. There is a dancer at the club I frequent that goes the extra mile. But I can smell her on me when she walks by. My ATF doesn't wear strong perfume or lipstick just to be courteous to her customers. Says she can taste the other dancers lipstick when she kisses an ear or nibbles on your neck. I appreciate that from her.

Stupid list. I agree only with #2, 5, 7, and 8.

10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number

Getting kissed by a dancer during or after a VIP session is HOT. More and more non-extras, non-OTC dancers are offering to exchange digits.

9. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume

Ridiculous

6. Thou shall not inquire for her real name

Increasingly they offer it up voluntarily: "Hi, my name here is Angel but my real name is Ashley." Sometimes if they don't tell me, I ask.

5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute

Some are, some aren't. There's no advantage in making a blanket assumption.

4. Thou shall go to private rooms with caution

Also ridiculous, unless it means "Negotiate services and cost up front".

3. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome

I always fly solo in the clubs.

1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance

To rephrase: "Thou shalt not satisfy thy hunger in a restaurant." Many guys happily "complete themselves" during lap dances (even though few besides LapDanceKing and me admit it) and many dancers gladly encourage it. Some of my favorite dancers over the years have asked me "Did you come?" when we're finished.

I like zipman's commandments!

10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number

Violated sometimes in the past.

9. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume

Never have.

8. Thou shall tip the bathroom attendant

More times than not do not. I go a lot when I drink I don't want to pay him more than the strippers.

7. Thou shall appreciate pole skills

I don't not why I go to SC.

6.Thou shall not inquire for her real name

Why bother.

5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute

They make money off their naked bodies. Sorry become a doctor or lawyer.

4. Thou shall go to private rooms with caution

I don't do pvt room.

3. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome

Only by my lonesome.

2. Thou shall not fall in love with a stripper

More like lust.

1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance

Sorry been there done that. Consider it a compliment.

Pretty stupid shit.

I'm almost never alone in a strip club. A dancer keeps sitting with me or on me. When they aren't, I get to spend time tipping dancers on stage. A buddy can save your seat or beer but can also be a major drag. He can say stupid crap to dancers and spend most of his time looking at his phone like he has more important things to do. If he only brought ten to twenty bucks to the strip club, I'm just left thinking wtf is this guy here for anyway? Just to sit and look at his phone?

It seems we all agree that this list is rather ridiculous. The question is, though, what are some USEFUL and INTELLIGENT rules for attending Strip Clubs? Let me try a couple:

1. Always be polite and gentlemanly when interacting with a dancer you don't know well yet.

2. When sitting at the rail, tip every dancer (or don't sit there). Some clubs have this rule themselves.

3. If you're tipping at the stage and you like the dancer, be generous.

4. If you have a bad experience with a dancer, don't make a fuss, just walk away from it without arguing or getting angry (even if it costs you some cash!).

Any opinions? Any additions?

nope you're not going to hell, you're going to where bad girls go: strip clubs.

Commandments are made to be broken, or at least bent.

shmutz - those rules are sounding a bit more reasonable than Elite's ancient Commandments

Rule 5: Don't bring a reluctant girlfriend. It makes everyone uncomfortable.

Anyone else got opinions? Additions?

11. Thou shallt know all rule except number two are optional.

Thou shall not got to the bathroom to take a dump in the strip club.

If you have to take a dump, you have probably been in the club for WAY too long!!!! Either that, or wherever you ate last should be reported to the health dept. Ha!