Ten Commandments of Strip Clubs

40 comments

• jackslash

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  10 years ago

  10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number Then how can I set up OTC sessions? 5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute Then how can I get her to fuck me? 3. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome I'm a big boy. I can go places alone. 1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance You're going to kill LapDanceKing.
• tumblingdice

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  10 years ago

  LDK is going to hell.
• motorhead

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  10 years ago

  LDK.....are you up yet and reading #1?
• motorhead

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  10 years ago

  #10 no kissing Maybe there is no kissing baseball But there is certainly kissing in strip clubs. That's now a requirement for me
• crazyjoe

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  10 years ago

  Whoever wrote those is on the beginning of the learning curve
• zipman68

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  10 years ago

  WTF uwotm8? Don't you believe in freedom my man? There is ONE commandment for strip clubbin' HAVE SOME MOTHAHFUCKIN' FUN. WEEEEE-YAAAAAAW!!!! OK, maybe there are two... 1. HAVE SOME MOTHAHFUCKIN' FUN. WEEEEE-YAAAAAAW!!!! 2. If you bring the Colonel's XXXtra KRIS-pay to the club make sure you bring enough for your bros. But everything else is on the table. Fuck yeah!!!
• motorhead

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  10 years ago

  Right on brotha zip. That's the rule to live by.
• motorhead

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  10 years ago

  I don't get #9 about the perfume
• uwotm8

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  10 years ago

  haha zipman. I'm not saying I agree with these, I just saw them and figured I'd put them out there. ....Obviously the writers for Elite don't actually attend strip clubs. Or if they do, they want to sound like the ultimate do-gooder And I don't get #9 either... don't comment on the way she smells? that just sounds ass backwards.
• SlickSpic

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  10 years ago

  Cool, cool. I thought that uwotm8 made it up. Elite don't know sheet.
• shadowcat

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  10 years ago

  Guess I'm going to hell. I broke most of those yesterday. :)
• bang69

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  10 years ago

  Well I'm going to hell. I broke all the rules last night.
• Lack4Oars

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  10 years ago

  Dumbest rules I've ever read.
• Club_Goer_Seattle

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  10 years ago

  Commandment no. 11: Forget the first ten.
• Slam

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  10 years ago

  10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number She asked for my number. Oh and I do Kiss her all the time. 9. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume Better things to compliment... 8. Thou shall tip the bathroom attendant check 7. Thou shall appreciate pole skills 6.Thou shall not inquire for her real name After phone conversations I got it. 5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute Don't. 4. Thou shall go to private rooms with caution I went w/ Reckless abandon it more than worked for me. 3. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome I only go by myself 2. Thou shall not fall in love with a stripper Not yet... 1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance Didn't, but...
• sclvr5005

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  10 years ago

  Number 3 is ridiculous.
• uwotm8

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  10 years ago

  They have no idea what they are talking about. What would you make the ten commandments?
• Yoda

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  10 years ago

  Fortunately I'm a boomer and don't read any of the BS that sites like Elite Daily espouse. A collection of rules written by manginas or women who have either never stripped or only done it in air dance type gentleman's clubs are of no interest to me.
• georgmicrodong

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  10 years ago

  Well 7 is a decent one, if you like that sort of thing (I do), and 6 is OK, but only because it can make them uncomfortable.
• ilbbaicnl

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  10 years ago

  10. Thou Shall return kisses only, and not badger her for her number 9. ??? 3. ??? 1. Thou shall not soak through during a lap dance
• Subraman

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  10 years ago

  I'm okay with: 7. Thou shall appreciate pole skills 6.Thou shall not inquire for her real name 2. Thou shall not fall in love with a stripper I mean, I do appreciate pole skills, who the fuck cares what her real name is, and caveat emptor if you fall in love In addition, I have no idea how you horny fucks manage to come during just a lapdance. Damn, are you all 14? So like it or not, I'm stuck following: 1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance This one is among the more retarded ones: 10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number Even non-extras girls who don't do OTC use her number -- google voice set up for just this purpose, if she's smart -- to keep in touch with regulars, send out her schedule or "I really miss you, will you come see me today" messages. Whoever wrote this has no idea how thing work. I don't understand this one. Why not? 9. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume Fuck da bathroom troll 8. Thou shall tip the bathroom attendant And total bullshit: 5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute That's usually code words for "you're not even allowed to ask for extras or OTC"... again, someone has no idea how things work
• gatorfan

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  10 years ago

  Thou shalt not shit thine pants
• ButterMan

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  10 years ago

  I agree with 2,7,8...the rest are silly especially the one abt perfume and her number.
• ATACdawg

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  10 years ago

  Actually, for us married dudes, perfume is a real issue! A strong perfume smell that lingers on you for hours and is different from your wife's scent is a sure path to an ugly argument when you get home. I prefer gentle scents SPARINGLY applied.
• sharkhunter

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  10 years ago

  Strong perfume is awful most of the time. I texted a dancer last night. I guess they didn't think about adding thou shall not text a dancer. She texted me back. This thread reminds me of a safe hiking sign rules to follow. I found it off trail up about the 9 to 10,000 foot level on Mt. Rainier if I remember correctly. Actually I might have descended because it was in the ground and I was no longer on a glacier. I think there were only one or two rules I didn't break. I would have never found the sign otherwise. There was no trail anywhere near the sign, lol. Stay on the trails was one rule.
• sharkhunter

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  10 years ago

  One rule I would have added for safe mountain hiking 1. Do not walk out on thin ice next to a whie water river at the 9,000 foot level. My younger brother wanted to. We would have seen him die I believe if he had. At least there wasn't anyone stopping us from doing whatever we wanted. We were not wearing hiking boots, rope or any gear so the mountain climbers up on the glaciers were giving us some strange looks. lol
• stenton1

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  10 years ago

  Sounds like these rules were written 2 decades ago. Anything goes now, and each dancer is different. Use whatever you want, to get what you need. They're looking at you from the same perspective!
• ButterMan

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  10 years ago

  Agreed stenton1!!!
• fun12times12

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  10 years ago

  Agreed ATAC. There is a dancer at the club I frequent that goes the extra mile. But I can smell her on me when she walks by. My ATF doesn't wear strong perfume or lipstick just to be courteous to her customers. Says she can taste the other dancers lipstick when she kisses an ear or nibbles on your neck. I appreciate that from her.
• MrDeuce

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  10 years ago

  Stupid list. I agree only with #2, 5, 7, and 8. 10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number Getting kissed by a dancer during or after a VIP session is HOT. More and more non-extras, non-OTC dancers are offering to exchange digits. 9. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume Ridiculous 6. Thou shall not inquire for her real name Increasingly they offer it up voluntarily: "Hi, my name here is Angel but my real name is Ashley." Sometimes if they don't tell me, I ask. 5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute Some are, some aren't. There's no advantage in making a blanket assumption. 4. Thou shall go to private rooms with caution Also ridiculous, unless it means "Negotiate services and cost up front". 3. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome I always fly solo in the clubs. 1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance To rephrase: "Thou shalt not satisfy thy hunger in a restaurant." *Many* guys happily "complete themselves" during lap dances (even though few besides LapDanceKing and me admit it) and *many* dancers gladly encourage it. Some of my favorite dancers over the years have asked me "Did you come?" when we're finished.
• sofaking87

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  10 years ago

  I like zipman's commandments!
• sflguy123

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  10 years ago

  10. Thou Shall not kiss her or ask for her number Violated sometimes in the past. 9. Thou shall not compliment a dancer on her perfume Never have. 8. Thou shall tip the bathroom attendant More times than not do not. I go a lot when I drink I don't want to pay him more than the strippers. 7. Thou shall appreciate pole skills I don't not why I go to SC. 6.Thou shall not inquire for her real name Why bother. 5. Thou shall not regard her to be a prostitute They make money off their naked bodies. Sorry become a doctor or lawyer. 4. Thou shall go to private rooms with caution I don't do pvt room. 3. Thou shall not attend by your lonesome Only by my lonesome. 2. Thou shall not fall in love with a stripper More like lust. 1. Thou shall not complete himself during a lap dance Sorry been there done that. Consider it a compliment.
• lopaw

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  10 years ago

  Pretty stupid shit.
• sharkhunter

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  10 years ago

  I'm almost never alone in a strip club. A dancer keeps sitting with me or on me. When they aren't, I get to spend time tipping dancers on stage. A buddy can save your seat or beer but can also be a major drag. He can say stupid crap to dancers and spend most of his time looking at his phone like he has more important things to do. If he only brought ten to twenty bucks to the strip club, I'm just left thinking wtf is this guy here for anyway? Just to sit and look at his phone?
• shmutz

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  10 years ago

  It seems we all agree that this list is rather ridiculous. The question is, though, what are some USEFUL and INTELLIGENT rules for attending Strip Clubs? Let me try a couple: 1. Always be polite and gentlemanly when interacting with a dancer you don't know well yet. 2. When sitting at the rail, tip every dancer (or don't sit there). Some clubs have this rule themselves. 3. If you're tipping at the stage and you like the dancer, be generous. 4. If you have a bad experience with a dancer, don't make a fuss, just walk away from it without arguing or getting angry (even if it costs you some cash!). Any opinions? Any additions?
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  nope you're not going to hell, you're going to where bad girls go: strip clubs.
• Electronman

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  10 years ago

  Commandments are made to be broken, or at least bent.
• uwotm8

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  10 years ago

  shmutz - those rules are sounding a bit more reasonable than Elite's ancient Commandments Rule 5: Don't bring a reluctant girlfriend. It makes everyone uncomfortable. Anyone else got opinions? Additions?
• Tiredtraveler

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  10 years ago

  11) Thou shallt know all rule except number two are optional.
• warhawks

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  10 years ago

  Thou shall not got to the bathroom to take a dump in the strip club. If you have to take a dump, you have probably been in the club for WAY too long!!!! Either that, or wherever you ate last should be reported to the health dept. Ha!