Politics
Yes. Guilty of participation in a shitty purge! All you damn dirty apes want to talk about your damn ape laws and riots and stupid shit like that. But you’re ignoring the big point: that was a shitty purge. You need…
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http://www.alrincon.com/en/blog/srviral_1296.html Bravo rick my friend. Good plan to go incognito. Wearing your stylin’ suit would have give your game away. First you get the sexy female hairless ape in the water. Then you remove the bikini. I’m betting that that babe went home with…
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Sometimes we ricks like challenges. So when I was hangin’ with the shark, the dugan, and the vulture and we decided to get some entertainments I thought I’d troll the local McD’s to identify hotties wishing for some rick treatment. So…
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One thing you damn dirty apes need to understand is that stingrays are fucking perverts. Why else would they let hairless apes capture them and put ‘em in “touch tanks”? It’s ‘cuz they wanna be TOUCHED all over. Alas, the stingray…
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We ricks trace our heritage back a millennium to southwest Britain. A stylish lion had made his way to the British Isles where he met the most stylish of the Saxons. They immediately hit it off and vowed to gangbang…
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Much of our amazing rick lives are spend on the simple pleasures: tappin’ ass and takin’ names, drivin’ drunk, and wearin’ stylish suits. But there are days you just want to do something topical to be an asshole (but not 100%…
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Once you grumpy old apes get tired of whining about some B-list celebrity being catty with some F-list celebrity that uses alternative pronouns https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75942 Imma educate you about REAL gender issues. What you damn dirty apes don’t realize is that sex…
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Over my life I’ve seen things that would make a normal creature lose his mind, à la the Lovecraft Cthulhu stories. But I just saw something far worse... something that chills my very rick soul... BEHOLD... https://phun.imagetwist.com/60wt4dch4o8v/204639566_6.jpg What the fuck is going…
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Like the title says, I am done with seatbelts now. Damn gumming ain’t gonna tell this rick to wear a frickin’ seatbelt. I’m a rick, ain’t no storm nor virus nor immobile object that I slam into a high velocity…
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True ricks are both born and made, but many of you will be able to achieve a certain level of rickness in your lives. It is never too late. Just think: Dracula was 412 when he moved to England in search…
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Yes, its xanderthelion. I used to hang with him in my old hood, before I met my brother ricks. Glad to see that ol’ xander is kickin’ hairless ape ass and feedin’ said apes to his family before he takes…
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This is just inappropriate: https://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/fayetteville-man-receives-last-paycheck-in-oil-covered-pennies-dumped-on-his-driveway If you’re going to give a former employee their last paycheck in the form of pennies you should make sure they are clean pennies. If you want to give them an extra fuck you by covering the…
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On a recent flight the stewardess yelled, in a panicked voice, “is there a doctor on the plane?” After convincing her that I was a doctor I performed an emergency tracheotomy with my claws and a ball point pen. Saved that…
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I like San Jose Goat. He’s got moxie - for an assraped goat. But I recently saw a story that illustrates why he’ll never be a rick: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-56224144 Some damn dirty ape wanted a chicken to fight other chickens. What did Mr.…
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One of the many responsibilities we ricks have is giving good advice to losers in need of love (or a reasonable approximation of love). So this rick would like to share a story that you may find helpful. I recently received…
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It is a long-standing rick tradition to make ol’ philthegroundhog an honorary rick for a period of time. Not that wimpy lil’ hog in Punxsutawney. That Punxsutawney bitch is so subservient to damn dirty apes that he doesn’t even…
Front Room
...weird to drink the milk of a sexy female hairless ape? If you consider it normal to suck on the tits of a sexy female hairless ape but weird to suck on the cow’s teats?
Front Room
Just wanted you hairless apes and other crazy critters to know about the ricktastic new program - the story of a man with an ENORMOUS DICK!!! In other words, a rick... https://www.vulture.com/2021/01/whats-john-dillermand-the-danish-show-about-a-giant-penis.html
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Late season storm Eta could have been a problem for you Floridians, but read the news today and discovered that it was frickin’ nothing. My theory: my bud rick - in concert with other ricks - weakened the storm and steered…
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I can understand those who ignore me. Those who would ignore this lion just can’t wrap their brains around how fantastic my life is. In other words, they cannot take my essential rickness! But my buddy dugan...he is the perfect translator…
Front Room
Seriously fellas, I cried many a tear when I heard about this. Just remember he lived a full life. Many live and toil in quiet obscurity but Eddie was truly one of a kind. Yes, that is right. It is almost two…
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A little hairless ape boy is raking leaves in his yard while his elderly grandfather watches. He sees a worm exit a hole in the ground and says to his grandfather “I’ll bet you $20 that I can put that…
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When I created the lion character I said I’d always stay in character because the idea of a suit-wearing lion that fucks hairless ape whores and pals around with a dugan and a frickin’ vulture is funny...to me... but I’ve…
Front Room
Did you hear that Justin Bieber contracted Lyme disease? I almost feel sorry for that annoying little parasite. On the other hand, Bieber got exactly what he deserved! rick humor is funny because it is true. ROAR!!!
Front Room
Sometimes this rick thinks Skifredo actually thinks he can catch coronavirus from “Corna” beer and eating at fine Chinese restaurants (by which he means Panda Express). Sad. And his incessant whining combined with continuous attempts to bring politics into the front…
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