Eta: Florida owes my bud dugan a debt of gratitude

Listen furry pussy if you’re going to give the Rick collective a shout out you forgot the two most important Ricks in this situation - ricktheturtle and rickthebarnacle - ain’t shit going down in the Atlantic without those two involved. Whether they’re using their rowboats to solicit strippers stuck on their roofs during flooding or help vacuuming out sand from strippers ass cracks when they go to the beach and are headed into the club.

Who the heck is rickthehorse anyway?

Don't forget Rickthecoconutcrab. Scuttle, scuttle.

Obviously, all of you owe every rick in the world an ongoing debt of gratitude for all of our good works. It isn’t easy shouldering the responsibilities of rickness.

That said, my information is that it was really the efforts of the dugan, the gator, and the horse that saved Florida from Eta. I have to admit that I was all hung over from a hard night or two of rickin’ around so I sort of said “fuck it” but I know the dugan has undying love for his fellow Floridians. And the horse did not want any damage to come to Ocala. Just sayin’ that in this case a nice thank you note to the right ricks would be desirable.

On the other hand, I might be disappointed in the gator. I’ve heard reports that he was playing golf in frickin’ Naples when he should have been on rick duty! usatoday.com

WTF gator?

My bad Lion. I was still delirious from gorging on tasty soft bulldogs.

Chomp! Chomp!

Heck Yea! Me and all the ricks were butt fucking each other like rabbits! That storm was scared of my HUGE COCK! Your welcome Florida

Yea...... It was No Biggie. Just some twigs and branches to clean up.

Glad it was no biggie Burt, but that just prompts me to circle ‘round to my original thesis: start thankin’ the ricks!

I have it on good authority that Eta might have been a category 2 or 3 with a direct hit on Orlando by my bud dugan ricked up, put on his best suit, and walked outside his house to order the storm (still offshore in the Gulf at the time) to just frickin’ mellow out.

Unlike the tides receiving their instructions from Canute, the storm listened because it knew that ricks mean business. Then dugan coordinated with the gator and and horse to maneuver the weakened storm to minimize damage. All by sheer force of rickness. Would have completely killed the storm if the gator hadn’t run off for a round of golf and fuckin’ sexy hairless apes in the sand trap!

So start thankin’ the dugan for his over the top rickness! ROAR!!!

No disrespect to my gator bud. ‘Twas his rick prerogative - or rickrogative if you will - to avail himself of the sexy sand trap time.

Hell, I would have helped out but I was sippin’ rickaritas and availing myself of as sexy 19-year old female hairless ape willing to do some pretty frickin’ unspeakable things with this lion. ROAR!!!

Did he use a sharpie to make the storm change direction?

Ok, ok, I see what's happening here You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange You don't even know how you feel It's adorable Well, it's nice to see that humans never change

Open your eyes, let's begin Yes, it's really me, it's Rick Breathe it in I know it's a lot The hair, the bod When you're staring at a demi-god

What can I say except, "You're welcome" For the tides, the sun, the sky Hey, it's okay, it's okay You're welcome I'm just an ordinary demi-guy

Hey What has two thumbs and pulled up the sky When you were waddling yea high? This guy When the nights got cold Who stole you fire from down below? You're lookin' at him, yo Oh, also I lassoed the sun You're welcome To stretch your days and bring you fun Also I harnessed the breeze You're welcome To fill your sails and shake your trees

So what can I say except you're welcome For the islands I pulled from the sea There's no need to pray, it's okay You're welcome Ha, I guess it's just my way of being me You're welcome You're welcome

Well, come to think of it Kid, honestly I could go on and on I could explain every natural phenomenon The tide, the grass, the ground Oh, that was Rick just messing around I killed an eel I buried its guts Sprouted a tree, now you got coconuts What's the lesson? What is the take-away? Don't mess with Rick when he's on a break-away And the tapestry here on my skin Is a map of the victories I win Look where I've been I make everything happen Look at that mean mini-Rick just tickety-tappin' (Ha ha ha ha ha ha, hey)

Well, anyway let me say, "You're welcome" (you're welcome) For the wonderful world you know Hey, it's okay, it's okay, you're welcome (you're welcome) Well, come to think of it, I gotta go (hey)