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rickvice for the lovelorn

rickthelion

Straight outta tha NC, comin' atcha with an AK ready to steal your daughter. ROAR!!!

One of the many responsibilities we ricks have is giving good advice to losers in need of love (or a reasonable approximation of love). So this rick would like to share a story that you may find helpful.

I recently received a PM from a TUSCLer claiming to have a wife. He said he and his wife were binging “The Witcher” on Netflix. Apparently, the wife runs off to the bathroom for a long time after Henry Cavill appears shirtless.

This rick was going to inform the loser in question that his wife was simply jillin’ off ‘cuz she can’t stand his loser touch when the message continued saying, and I quote:

“I don’t mind this ‘cuz it gives me time to fap one out to Cavill while she’s gone.”

Now I’m struggling for what to tell the guy. And no, i can’t tell you who this is because I’m bound by loser-rick confidentiality. However, loser-rick confidentiality rules would still allow me to confirm any guesses ‘cuz that’s within my rick ethics.