Posts by rickthelion

Yes, its xanderthelion. I used to hang with him in my old hood, before I met my brother ricks. Glad to see that ol’ xander is kickin’ hairless ape ass and feedin’ said apes to his family before he takes…

This is just inappropriate: https://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/fayetteville-man-receives-last-paycheck-in-oil-covered-pennies-dumped-on-his-driveway If you’re going to give a former employee their last paycheck in the form of pennies you should make sure they are clean pennies. If you want to give them an extra fuck you by covering the…

On a recent flight the stewardess yelled, in a panicked voice, “is there a doctor on the plane?” After convincing her that I was a doctor I performed an emergency tracheotomy with my claws and a ball point pen. Saved that…

I like San Jose Goat. He’s got moxie - for an assraped goat. But I recently saw a story that illustrates why he’ll never be a rick: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-56224144 Some damn dirty ape wanted a chicken to fight other chickens. What did Mr.…

One of the many responsibilities we ricks have is giving good advice to losers in need of love (or a reasonable approximation of love). So this rick would like to share a story that you may find helpful. I recently received…

It is a long-standing rick tradition to make ol’ philthegroundhog an honorary rick for a period of time. Not that wimpy lil’ hog in Punxsutawney. That Punxsutawney bitch is so subservient to damn dirty apes that he doesn’t even…

...weird to drink the milk of a sexy female hairless ape? If you consider it normal to suck on the tits of a sexy female hairless ape but weird to suck on the cow’s teats?

Just wanted you hairless apes and other crazy critters to know about the ricktastic new program - the story of a man with an ENORMOUS DICK!!! In other words, a rick... https://www.vulture.com/2021/01/whats-john-dillermand-the-danish-show-about-a-giant-penis.html

Late season storm Eta could have been a problem for you Floridians, but read the news today and discovered that it was frickin’ nothing. My theory: my bud rick - in concert with other ricks - weakened the storm and steered…

I can understand those who ignore me. Those who would ignore this lion just can’t wrap their brains around how fantastic my life is. In other words, they cannot take my essential rickness! But my buddy dugan...he is the perfect translator…

Seriously fellas, I cried many a tear when I heard about this. Just remember he lived a full life. Many live and toil in quiet obscurity but Eddie was truly one of a kind. Yes, that is right. It is almost two…

A little hairless ape boy is raking leaves in his yard while his elderly grandfather watches. He sees a worm exit a hole in the ground and says to his grandfather “I’ll bet you $20 that I can put that…