It’s Biseggi!!

avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
It’s Biseggi! Everybody knows me!!! I’m that real deal Italian NYC strip club reviewerer! I’m the “REAL DEAL, ITALIAN MEAL!!”

NOw I told everyone, this is where we discuss the goings of the day - the strip club views and viewerers - where we kick back here on the tuscls, relax and talk about the all LDK, Biseggi way!!! Aye!!!!

Now I told my boy Snerzy to join this all forum. Cept he’s an idiot and joined rebbit instead cuz he can’t type or read for all shinz. But even he knows (and he don’t know much) that you either LDK - or kiss your smackaroos away!! $300 is what you need to bring - so the LDK can make you’re all member sing! Aye!!! Biseggi told you so! Biseggi out!

36 comments

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avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
Does Biseggi mean bisexual in Italian?
avatar for doctorevil
doctorevil
a year ago
Who’s Biseggi? Never heard of him.
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
a year ago
Ah yes Bissegi! Yay! Now go fuck yourself you mamaluka!
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
a year ago
Oh and one more thing. You forgot your gobada goo goo you Guinea bastard.
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
a year ago
You really need to get your character straight before posting. Are you supposed to be Italian, a hillbilly, or retarded?

If you were hoping to be a talking lion or a Mack truck shitting in people's basements, those are already taken.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
a year ago
@drewcareypnw lol wtf bro. You ain't shit 😂
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
a year ago
Don’t forget about the talking barnacle and the Asian massage parlor owner that chases SJG those are taken as well.
avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
a year ago
C’mon fellas…this Biseggi clearly has the potential to become a valued contributor. I mean really, has he written a 30-page essay about some political nonsense he doesn’t understand? No. Has he insulted the ricks? No. Is his name Skifredo? No…his name appears to be Biseggi.

Perhaps an unfortunate aspect of the Biseggi name is that my ipad wants to autocorrect it to bisexual and that makes typing much harder for this lion. I keep telling Apple that they need to make products that are friendly to us lions and tigers and bears. But I digress…my point is that Biseggi appears to enjoy jizzing in his pants and he wants to tell us ‘bout it. Let’s hear the tales of pantsjizzin’!

Also, this rick thinks his friend snerzy should join too. ROAR!!!
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
a year ago
Explain to me how a lion posts on a strip club forum from his ipad, but SJG can’t get internet access that will allow him to view “adult” websites.

Make it all make sense to me!
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
When you rate a NYC Italian strip club, do you give a 1 - 10 rating of how much of a mustache shadow the dancers have?
avatar for datinman
datinman
a year ago
"Explain to me how a lion posts on a strip club forum from his ipad, but SJG can’t get internet access that will allow him to view “adult” websites.

Make it all make sense to me! "

Incarceration or institutionalization. Either seems like a realistic possibility.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
a year ago
^ or his parents just grounded him from the computer.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
a year ago
I thought a Biseggi was a brand of vacuum cleaner.
avatar for Hank Moody
Hank Moody
a year ago
Your shitty review gets rejected and you post here trying to win fans of your persona? It’s not resonating. Try again.
avatar for TheSingularity
TheSingularity
a year ago
Tommy DeVito's agent is that you
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
a year ago
You idiots feed the trolls like kids at the llama enclosure in a petting zoo.
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
Lots of comments here about Biseggi! First off, my caricature is very straight, but straight, bused, whateva is good for the goose is good w me.

Now for Biseggi’s Tips!

If you go to the all Lusty Time Adventure place in Akron - make sure to close the all door on your way in! That’s right, it doesn’t fully close unless you pull it because there’s no door handle and the floor is broke. If the door is open, you’ll see lots of wrinkles on the all dancers cuz letz just say they leave their all walkers in the dress room. But ya know, 5 smackaroos for a jukebox swirl ain’t so bad!! Just close the damn door!!!
avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
a year ago
Wait a gosh darn minute Biseggi. What’s this shit with Akron? I thought you were a member of the NYC Italian Stallion Strip Club Posse or some shit like that. Akron is about as far from NYC as tha frickin’ NC where I came from. Well, tha NC is cooler because there are elephants and hippos and hyenas and whatnot to party with. But you get my point: Akron ain’t the big frickin’ Apple!

Anyhoo, Imma encourage you to tell us your crazy ass adventures. I don’t care if they’re in NYC or Akron or St. Pete Beach. Though Imma be mighty disappointed if you were the guy having a hissy fit after molesting a manatee statue. If you’re gonna fuck a manatee at least have the class to fuck an actual manatee. ROAR!!!
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
Biseggi is everywhere!!! Yeah! From the NYC but Biseggi gets to all the best strip clubs. All across the all country!! Biseggi style!
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
Akron is, what, 4 hours from NYC if you rick-drive it? Where else can you use a bullwhip in VIP while wearing a Tip-It base as a hat? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_QLzthS…
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
Ok time for Biseggi tip number 2!!

If you go to one of them classy clubs - like Rick Cabarnet - you need to dress it on up!! If ya Schlub yaself in there you’re gonna spend the same amount of holla dollas and get less attention boys. All the boys know - dress it on nice - real nice.

That it for Biseggi tip number two. You heard it here first from the “REAL DEAL, ITALIAN MEAL”. Everybody knows Biseggi!
avatar for elmer
elmer
a year ago
Mental impairment or chemically induced?
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
a year ago
^ Those two things aren't mutually exclusive.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
a year ago
More like the FAKE DEAL, ITAILIAN MEAL

Nothing but Fugazi Chef Boyardee bullshit
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
a year ago
Bada Bing, bada boom baby.


avatar for RiskA
RiskA
a year ago
I want to speak to the personality in your head calling himself “Dusty.” Let him come forward, he’s the one seeking a girlfriend in the strip club….
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
Alright! It’s Biseggi!!!!! Everybody knows me!!!! Yeah that’s right - Biseggi is back for what you’ve all been waited for. The new strip club advice from the “real deal, Italian meal” - Biseggi style!

When you bring your all wallet into the club you need to organize the all bills on the right order. Don’t do it like my boy Snerzy do it - he’s an imbecile. You keep your hundreds and twenties sandwiched in the all middle with the ones on the outsides in the wallet. These all stripper girls be looking in your wallet when you open it to pay for a drink. You don’t wanna flash the all hand Jan!!

And that’s it for today. Don’t do it like my boy Snerzy. He ends up getting dance and then I get dance with same girl. He pay $500 and I pay $300 for same dance. Stupid Snerzy
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
a year ago
You pay $300 for a dance and you call your boy Snerzy stupid? Jeez, that’s some funny math.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
Quit bad mouthing your sidekick. We've got divorced guys on here, they don't need the flashbacks.
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
It’s Biseggi! Everybody knows me!!! And happy new year!!

So yeah in 20the24 this is where we will discuss all the all goings on in the clubs. As you all know, and all the boys know - I only recommended the best there is. I’m that famous reviewerer and it all starts here - ok!! Yeah! Biseggi out
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
I went one club last night in Phillyelfy called Oasis. I walked in and saw one girl - and no girls dancing on the all stage. She came over right around and said hey Biseggi, you wanna dance. She didn’t make the all cut for me so I said “na, I’m not dancin but I was hoping you were”. Then she got up on the all stage and did a nice dance set. Ya see - bada bing, bada boom. Ya just gotta ask em girls sometimes when they all play that Pokémon on their phones instead of working. Biseggi out!
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
And to all my fans, them Biseggi fans - I’ll be back home in the all NYC next two weeks. Everybody loves Biseggi!!
avatar for Biseggi
Biseggi
a year ago
And to the all the Biseggi fans who asked - yeah Snerzy will be w me at the all clubs next weekend. He just better move his ass because I sent him out to get me two glazed donuts and a coffee 30min ago and he’s dilly dallyin. Where the hell is he - Snerzy hurry up !!
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
Donuts and coffee? Come on, if you're going to do this, do it right, god dammit. That's like rickthelion eating a veggie burger! Send him for cornetti and cappuccino.
avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
a year ago
^^
Biseggi ape, hate to tell you this but I suspect Snerzy was getting head from the donut girl. That what always happens when we’re havin’ a rick gathering and somebody, say the dugan, says “hey Mr. Lion my friend, we need donuts if we’re gonna continue this rickbang” and bein’ the good civic minded lion that I am I say “sure thing my brother from an ape mother” but then I get to the donut show and there’s a sexy donut girl that is willing to suck my BSLC because she’s all “you’re such a sexy lion ooo….”

But no coffee. This rick doesn’t drink coffee. Well…Irish Coffee is ok if you leave out that hot black stuff.

^
Too true Libby ape or whatever the fuck your name is. This rick don’t do no veggie burger shit. A good wildebeest burger hits the spot though. ROAR!!!
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