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Front Room
2 years ago

Ever feel like your just a wannabe?

No matter how many girls I sleep with, how many strip clubs I got to, the truth is and I'll have to just accept, is that I'll never truly top the legendary Rick Dugan. Your work your whole life to try to be somebody but at the end I'm just the knock off brand. The stunt double. Splenda. Pepsi, in fact, Diet Pepsi. Burger King. Greg Norman. Dan Marino.

My white suit is always sort of off white when you look at up close. Almost Egg white dare I say. When I bust down a door into a room and start break dancing there's always one lady who's just not that impressed with the whole thing. (Rick Dugan, always unanimous, always) When I strut down the street to the bee gees, I'm usually slightly out of step.

I'll go to my grave knowing that I'll just never be Rick Dugan. I always wanted to bitches flock to me whenever I step in room, 😿 sniff, excuse me...I'm sorry....sorry everyone.... it always my dream. But just know....just know that I gave it my all.

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comments (17)

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Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
•

Muddy ape, if you think you’re qualified to be the dugan’s stunt double you’re sorely mistaken.

Lemme tell you somethin’ muddy ape. There is a reason why there is no muddy the lion. No self-respecting lion would ever call himself muddy. Muddy just ain’t cool enough to be a lion name.

You know what name is cool enough for the coolest lion? That’s right…rick! As the coolest lion on the planet - and therefore the coolest non-barnacle organism - yours truly gets to go by rick. Since the dugan is the coolest hairless ape on the planet he goes by rick as well. See how that works?

Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•

I think we all understand that you're more emotionally invested in these discussion forums than founder, but perhaps (if nothing else) it's time for some new material.

tuscl.net tuscl.net tuscl.net tuscl.net

Avatar for Muddy
Muddy
•

I apologize everyone. Ishmael doesn’t approve (what else is new?)

Sorry everybody feel free to ignore this shitpost. Any future ball busting submit Call Me Ishmael prior for his OK.

Avatar for Mate27
Mate27
•

First of all, Muddy, yes. In almost every aspect of my life; work, family, friends, even my dog I take a back seat. Any dad out there will tell you that our biggest superpower we have is taking shit, and wake up every day to do it all over again by taking more shit. The definition of being a man is knowing this as fact, and keto on going even though nobody else could give two shits about you as a person. Remember being told how soevidl you are when you were a little kid? That too was a lie. Nobody is special, unless your special Ed.

Avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
•

Muddy. Bro. I feel your pain. Sometimes while munching on avocado toast and sipping gluten free wheat germ coffee, I think "if I could just give up this avocado toast and gluten free wheat germ coffee, buy a white suit, and fuck a six pack of eager sb's a week... I too could be a Rick". Then I realize that it'll never work, and go back to sadly flipping through Mother Jones.

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
•
Avatar for Rob1115
Rob1115
•

Shit, I loved the disco era. I thought I was hot shit on the dance floor. I was in my late 20s early 30s. When I traveled for work I thought it was a bust if I didn't get laid. I was fucking a secretary at work (hot redhead 10 yrs older than me) and a secretary at an opposing firm.

Avatar for TheOne&Only
TheOne&Only
•

25IQ thinks he peaked in the 70s, but the truth is he was always this lame

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
•

^ you’re still hiding behind your keyboard trying to ruin this website for others Come over here and show yourself.

Avatar for Mate27
Mate27
•

Keyboard Cabaret👀!!

Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
•

Drew ape, my advice if you really want to get a lil rickness into your life is to start drinkin’ jack with that fruity avocado toast. Then get yourself some nice shoes. Not a full on stylin’ rick suit - just stylin’ shoes.

The point is to get a lil more rickish without overloading your brain. As a normie you’ll never be more than, say, 1% as cool as a lower tier rick. But that’s still pretty frickin’ cool.

Hope this helps. ROAR!!!

Avatar for TheOne&Only
TheOne&Only
•

Uh-oh the 80-year old keyboard tough guy is going to pick a fight and then hid behind elder abuse laws. He's done it before, and he'll do it again.

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
•

^ Puleeze child go annoy someone else or go play in traffic, you choose IDGAF

Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
•

^ Gamma, 25, can we please focus on something important? Y’know, things like discussing how cool we ricks are…

Avatar for TruckerRaul20
TruckerRaul20
•

I actually got a kick out of this one. Well done - actually spit water outta my mouth.

Avatar for rockie
rockie
•

I found Muddy's article from 2 years back "Rockin' in Philadelphia" to be quite entertaining. CMI: Perhaps you could redirect Muddy with positive reinforcement regarding his writing adventures on Tuscl, rather than to critique his "mild" preoccupation with Sir Rick of Dugan.

By the way, if vinyl can make it's way back to popularity in this country- so can Leisure suits and f'n disco!

Avatar for shailynn
shailynn
•

Sometimes it’s better to be second fiddle.

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