You'll likely get a split in responses, both from guys who believe that a dancer who doesn't approach isn't doing her job and doesn't deserve their business, to guys like me who regularly approach. For my own part, my time in a club is too short to be wasting it waiting for a possibly busy, possibly high, possibly drunk, possibly waiting for a regular, possibly having a bad day, possibly tired dancer to get around to talking to one more creepy old pervert in a club. Of course I'm going to approach someone I find interesting.
Q: Who should make the first move? A: The man/customer should make the first move.
Q: If you see a new hot dancer that you are interested in do you prefer to wait for her to approach you or do you go up to her? A: I prefer to go up to her.
Because while I'm waiting for her to come to me, there's a good chance that she's going to get swooped up by a guy who prefers to approach dancers first.
I want her to walk up to me. But I am going to do everything in my power to let her know I am interested. That includes tipping a waitress to go get that girl.
I'd prefer that my preferred stripper walk up to me precisely as I've finished surveying the scene and identified her as my preference. When that doesn't happen, which is almost invariably the case, I won't hesitate to go approach her if the coast is clear. If she's with a customer, I'll wait a short while and then either accept the advances of another, choose one who is free myself, or leave. Occasionally I'll wait more than a short while, if the club is otherwise entertaining with a stage show or something to keep me entertained in the meantime.
But what I'll never do is sit there bored waiting for her to approach me simply because I think that's better. I'm usually not pressed for time, I just don't like being that passive.
Low mileage club I would make eye contact and smile but not approach myself. Unfortunately at lower mileage clubs new girls normally stick tightly to the rules.
Mid mileage clubs are trickier. If it's busy I'm not gonna fight for her attention. But if she's sitting on her phone or chatting with another dancer I might approach.
I guess the bottom line is if you approach you probably should be ready to buy and be willing to settle for club average mileage.
There’s no definite answer, do what work’s best for you. Personally I rarely approach girls in a strip club unless she is exceptionally beautiful and I think it would take too long for her to get around to approaching me if the club is very busy.
In some situations I purposefully make sure some girls notice me by standing in their path or walking towards them in the opposite direction.
I agree that there are countless reasons why a girl might not approach, including:
1. She's shy/timid; 2. She's feeling lazy and/or tired at the moment; 3. She's waiting for a regular; 4. She's waiting for her food delivery; 5. She's waiting for the club coke dealer to show up; 6. She's waiting for a girlfriend to show up; 7. She's burned out; 8. She's otherwise having a bad day; 9. You may be giving off an unfriendly vibe; [Keep inserting countless others here...]
But IME, easily 90% of the time her unwillingness to circulate doesn't bode well for the quality of the upcoming interaction. Now maybe if my go-to clubs were VHM places the dynamics would be different, but that's not normally the case for me. I want to deal with a girl who is motivated enough to come over and say hi. If she isn't, then I don't want her. I won't chase after a girl ITC hoping that she'll be gracious enough to agree to accept my money. 😉
That's not to say that I'm above signaling interest. IME nothing says "I'd like to get to know you" better than a $20 placed on the stage during her set. But if that isn't enough to motivate her to come over after, then it's next girl up.
@rick, here in flyover country, unless I'm at PT's, I've never had to use anything bigger than a 10. 🤣🤣🤣 And most of the time going to the stage and tipping standard, with "hey if you're interested in dances, come seem me" does the trick 4 times out of 5. The other one is she has a whale in tow and doesn't want to give it up until she's in the harbor.
Sack up and approach. At some places it's merely the best approach. At others, it's imperative lest she get snatched up by a regular.
I like to ease into my time at the club, and scout for her best one, but there's a risk she gets taken. But it doesn't hurt to say you're interested in dances later.
We all have preferences of first time meets that go well, where the banter and energy are clicking. But you need more than one tool in your toolbox. If you’re not good at multiple ways of beginning an introduction, you’ll miss out sometimes. Read the room, adapt and make the most of what’s there.
Absolutely approach her myself for all the reasons stated. Plus it’s a nice ice breaker to be able to tell her that you saw her across the room and knew immediately that you wanted dances from her.
If you are there when the dancers outnumber the customers, dayshift usually, let them come to you. If they see each other competing for your dollar, you have a better chance of service with a cost savings, even from the girl who piqued your interest. If its busy, you could sit there all night so in that case initiate contact.
About half the time the dancer I'm interested in approaches me first and the other half I approach her first. I think some of them feel if the strip club is crowded they don't want to approach and get rejected by a bunch of guys in order to find the one who is interested. I've been going to strip clubs so many years that any form of rejection doesn't bother me. I understand there might be a hundred different reasons she isn't going to end up doing lap dances with me. I actually kind of prefer the club where the girls aren't doing approaches because then I don't have to fend off all the ones that I'm not interested in.
"Competing" with guys at a strip club? It's not a regular bar, guys. Why are guys trying to do outdo others to "win" the attention of a girl in exchange for cash?
From the responses here, I seem to be in the minority. When I go to a club, I’m there for the evening - not short on time, no rush. I will stage tip, often generously, to get a girl’s attention. And maybe twice in my life I’ve asked a waitress for assistance. But I’ve never approached a dancer on the floor.
I’ll pay for pussy. I’ll beg for pussy. But I won’t beg to pay for pussy.
Others have a different approach and that’s fine. But I’m old school where I think it’s her job as a salesperson to seek out customers
To paraphrase DH Lawrence - Curse the blasted, jelly-boned hesitators, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less PLs that make up SCs today. They've got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed.
In other words, take the plunge and approach her already! I've never seen a dancer recoil in horror at being selected, and most seem delighted to be relieved of making the damned approach themselves.
guys always should make the first move. here's a prime example as to why:
once saw two new ones walk into the club to audition. the first girl to audition was a blonde 8. after she was done she was just sitting by herself as her friend went up next to the stage. so i went up to 8 and asked, "so you wanna make a couple of bucks?"
if i had waited for her to mill around the club to finally approach me that would have ended up being a bad idea. the 8 and her friend not only didn't make any rounds looking to sell dances, they never came back to work after the auditions.
@funonthaside: it's not often, but there are situations when there is a spectacular stripper and 4 or 5 guys are trying get her to spend time with them. This can be simply because she is awesome or because the other options are poor. This is exacerbated by a short time window. The 10 that turned into an 8 that I wrote about a few days back had this exact situation going for a short while.
===> "From the responses here, I seem to be in the minority. When I go to a club, I’m there for the evening - not short on time, no rush. I will stage tip, often generously, to get a girl’s attention. And maybe twice in my life I’ve asked a waitress for assistance. But I’ve never approached a dancer on the floor."
Exactly my feeling and situation. When I do manage to carve a night out to go to a club, I'm not there for a quick strike event. I've also never found it to be a particularly manly look to be so desperate for any one girl that I'm chasing her around the club for attention, notwithstanding attempts of others here to spin it as some exercise in manly courage. 😉
But of course I'm not a dayshift type doing drive-by visits at UHM clubs looking for a nut n' go. No criticism there, to each his own, but just highlighting the difference in outlook and objectives.
"dayshift type doing drive-by visits at UHM clubs looking for a nut n' go" ... I am pretty much exactly this guy! Though I have delved into the OTCly arts lately. I still prefer not to chase the dancers. Maybe this is bc I chased civvie women for a lifetime, and noe like them coming to me?
I’ve always looked at it this way - if I walk into a high end clothing or furniture store, I expect a sales person to approach me. They should value me enough as a customer to ask me if they can be of service. I expect the same of strip clubs - and mostly it’s worked out. Not to say there are some clubs where I’ve left disappointed because the dancers work on a different sales model
Now to be clear, I'll never criticize how another grown man spends his time and money. If chasing girls has been a high ROI activity for a guy then go yee forth, but it never was for me. Again different times of day, objectives, normal club mileage levels, etc., all play roles I'm sure.
The one type of guy I can't stand though is the desperate jerkoff who can't control himself long enough for a girl to free up or can't shift his attention elsewhere if he's on a clock. Like she hasn't noticed that he's been staring at her intensely for the past hour, lol. Talk about weirdly creepy. And yes, some of them will send a waitress over or even just come over to "say hi quickly" lol. Just pathetic. Fortunately I don't run into much of this here in NE Florida as I think that the guys here overall have enough respect for themselves and others not to behave like that, but it was definitely not uncommon where I used to frequent in the northeast.
I've found that sitting and staring at a dancer doesn't work as a signal I'm interested in her. They are more likely to come over if I just kind of ignore them. I used to have a cat like that too. If I tried to pet him or play with him, he would run off. If I would ignore him and started watching tv or reading a book he'd be walking around on my lap or poking at me with his paw to get my attention.
Dugan said "The one type of guy I can't stand though is the desperate jerkoff who can't control himself long enough for a girl to free up..."
I was in Desire at the bar with a dancer who was not just with me, but pretty much wrapped around me (which I didn't mind). So, we're chatting a bit before going to VIP, and a guy walks right up to us and says to her "Hi. Are you available now?"
She looks incredulously at him, then at me, and then she looks back at him and says "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking blind?" Somehow, that took him by surprise and he rocked back on his heels. He then shrugged and scurried away.
A guy taking the initiative is not a bad thing, but even in a strip club there's a time and a place.
I used to be more passive and wanted dancers to approach me, but that resulted in a fair number of dancers going into VIP with guys who weren't me. So, I changed that philosophy.
As far as comparing it to a high-end clothing or furniture store, the big difference is that the sales person and the "product" is one and the same.
I have found that I am in a better negotiating position if I let them come to me and nothing is worse than chasing down a hot looking dancer and then finding out that she doesn't understand English.
"nothing is worse than chasing down a hot looking dancer and then finding out that she doesn't understand English"
If I can't tell I'll tip her at the stage or ask another dancer or waitress, bartender, etc. It is kind of a problem if a dancer thinks you're into her but you can't use subtle words to get her too move on.
I though used to be wait for her. But you know what if she is busy you are going to be waiting a long time. So make that first contact. Smile go up to her if she is on stage and tip her and ask her to see you after. If you lock eyes with some and she smiles back at you talk to her and make that move. She knows why you are there and you know why she is there. It isn't for the donuts.
@rickdugan: "The one type of guy I can't stand though is the desperate jerkoff who can't control himself long enough for a girl to free up or can't shift his attention elsewhere if he's on a clock."
Oh gods, completely agreed. Mind you, if it's someone I know and haven't seen in a while, I might wave and say hi, but I'm not interrupting. The vast majority of these dancers know how to get away from a customer if they want to. They don't need me giving them the stink eye.
I will only make the first move if I can do so in a very Confident way. What I mean by that is it won’t be the typical “hey, can I have a dance?”
I’m pretty creative and have a sense of humor so the last crazy thing I did was grab a dancers hand as she was walking by and I started fake ballroom dancing with her. She actually started dancing back and like 3 other dancers cracked up laughing. She ended up being super cool - and we had a great night that night.
Some visits I don’t approach anyone at all. As men, we are expected to be aggressive and take action in terms of approaching women in most aspects of life. But even then, I only approach women that are “choosing” me. If I catch her looking, or she smiles at me, etc - that’s letting me know she would probably welcome me approaching her. So it’s the same way in the SC - strippers are women first and they can actually show signs of attraction, albeit subtly. They don’t want to overplay their hand and let you know they like you - beyond the bullshit “you’re so handsome…you’re the hottest guy here” when they’re just trying to fleece you.
A lot of times, the super hot ones I will completely ignore when they are on the stage. Especially if it’s where she knows she’s hot and isn’t really doing her thing up there. Other times I’ll just go up there with 10-15 singles and just throw them up - creating a mini sprinkle and just walk away without saying anything to them. Psychologically, this makes the hot ones wonder why you didn’t ogle over them like they’re used to. And letting them see you tip other women really drives their curiosity crazy.
Overall, I have a take it or leave it attitude towards all of them. I don’t know how to turn off my alpha when I’m in the sc.
I make my statement with my eyes. To me the gfe aspect is more important than looks or body type, and i find that i am more likely to get what I am looking for this way, and girls that dont pick up on it are the less experienced ones.
43 comments
I will play along and answer your questions:
Q: Who should make the first move?
A: The man/customer should make the first move.
Q: If you see a new hot dancer that you are interested in do you prefer to wait for her to approach you or do you go up to her?
A: I prefer to go up to her.
Because while I'm waiting for her to come to me, there's a good chance that she's going to get swooped up by a guy who prefers to approach dancers first.
But what I'll never do is sit there bored waiting for her to approach me simply because I think that's better. I'm usually not pressed for time, I just don't like being that passive.
Low mileage club I would make eye contact and smile but not approach myself. Unfortunately at lower mileage clubs new girls normally stick tightly to the rules.
Mid mileage clubs are trickier. If it's busy I'm not gonna fight for her attention. But if she's sitting on her phone or chatting with another dancer I might approach.
I guess the bottom line is if you approach you probably should be ready to buy and be willing to settle for club average mileage.
In some situations I purposefully make sure some girls notice me by standing in their path or walking towards them in the opposite direction.
1. She's shy/timid;
2. She's feeling lazy and/or tired at the moment;
3. She's waiting for a regular;
4. She's waiting for her food delivery;
5. She's waiting for the club coke dealer to show up;
6. She's waiting for a girlfriend to show up;
7. She's burned out;
8. She's otherwise having a bad day;
9. You may be giving off an unfriendly vibe;
[Keep inserting countless others here...]
But IME, easily 90% of the time her unwillingness to circulate doesn't bode well for the quality of the upcoming interaction. Now maybe if my go-to clubs were VHM places the dynamics would be different, but that's not normally the case for me. I want to deal with a girl who is motivated enough to come over and say hi. If she isn't, then I don't want her. I won't chase after a girl ITC hoping that she'll be gracious enough to agree to accept my money. 😉
That's not to say that I'm above signaling interest. IME nothing says "I'd like to get to know you" better than a $20 placed on the stage during her set. But if that isn't enough to motivate her to come over after, then it's next girl up.
I like to ease into my time at the club, and scout for her best one, but there's a risk she gets taken. But it doesn't hurt to say you're interested in dances later.
If I know the dancer or have an appointment, a wave or smile usually does it.
If I'm short on time, again I will wave or smile.
If I'm competing with other guys, I stage tip.
I never walk over to them, it feels aggressive. Maybe that is a Seattle thing?
I’ll pay for pussy.
I’ll beg for pussy.
But I won’t beg to pay for pussy.
Others have a different approach and that’s fine. But I’m old school where I think it’s her job as a salesperson to seek out customers
In other words, take the plunge and approach her already! I've never seen a dancer recoil in horror at being selected, and most seem delighted to be relieved of making the damned approach themselves.
once saw two new ones walk into the club to audition. the first girl to audition was a blonde 8. after she was done she was just sitting by herself as her friend went up next to the stage. so i went up to 8 and asked, "so you wanna make a couple of bucks?"
if i had waited for her to mill around the club to finally approach me that would have ended up being a bad idea. the 8 and her friend not only didn't make any rounds looking to sell dances, they never came back to work after the auditions.
Exactly my feeling and situation. When I do manage to carve a night out to go to a club, I'm not there for a quick strike event. I've also never found it to be a particularly manly look to be so desperate for any one girl that I'm chasing her around the club for attention, notwithstanding attempts of others here to spin it as some exercise in manly courage. 😉
But of course I'm not a dayshift type doing drive-by visits at UHM clubs looking for a nut n' go. No criticism there, to each his own, but just highlighting the difference in outlook and objectives.
The one type of guy I can't stand though is the desperate jerkoff who can't control himself long enough for a girl to free up or can't shift his attention elsewhere if he's on a clock. Like she hasn't noticed that he's been staring at her intensely for the past hour, lol. Talk about weirdly creepy. And yes, some of them will send a waitress over or even just come over to "say hi quickly" lol. Just pathetic. Fortunately I don't run into much of this here in NE Florida as I think that the guys here overall have enough respect for themselves and others not to behave like that, but it was definitely not uncommon where I used to frequent in the northeast.
I was in Desire at the bar with a dancer who was not just with me, but pretty much wrapped around me (which I didn't mind). So, we're chatting a bit before going to VIP, and a guy walks right up to us and says to her "Hi. Are you available now?"
She looks incredulously at him, then at me, and then she looks back at him and says "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking blind?" Somehow, that took him by surprise and he rocked back on his heels. He then shrugged and scurried away.
A guy taking the initiative is not a bad thing, but even in a strip club there's a time and a place.
I used to be more passive and wanted dancers to approach me, but that resulted in a fair number of dancers going into VIP with guys who weren't me. So, I changed that philosophy.
As far as comparing it to a high-end clothing or furniture store, the big difference is that the sales person and the "product" is one and the same.
Bacon!!
If I can't tell I'll tip her at the stage or ask another dancer or waitress, bartender, etc. It is kind of a problem if a dancer thinks you're into her but you can't use subtle words to get her too move on.
So make that first contact. Smile go up to her if she is on stage and tip her and ask her to see you after. If you lock eyes with some and she smiles back at you talk to her and make that move. She knows why you are there and you know why she is there. It isn't for the donuts.
Oh gods, completely agreed. Mind you, if it's someone I know and haven't seen in a while, I might wave and say hi, but I'm not interrupting. The vast majority of these dancers know how to get away from a customer if they want to. They don't need me giving them the stink eye.
I’m pretty creative and have a sense of humor so the last crazy thing I did was grab a dancers hand as she was walking by and I started fake ballroom dancing with her. She actually started dancing back and like 3 other dancers cracked up laughing. She ended up being super cool - and we had a great night that night.
Some visits I don’t approach anyone at all. As men, we are expected to be aggressive and take action in terms of approaching women in most aspects of life. But even then, I only approach women that are “choosing” me. If I catch her looking, or she smiles at me, etc - that’s letting me know she would probably welcome me approaching her. So it’s the same way in the SC - strippers are women first and they can actually show signs of attraction, albeit subtly. They don’t want to overplay their hand and let you know they like you - beyond the bullshit “you’re so handsome…you’re the hottest guy here” when they’re just trying to fleece you.
A lot of times, the super hot ones I will completely ignore when they are on the stage. Especially if it’s where she knows she’s hot and isn’t really doing her thing up there. Other times I’ll just go up there with 10-15 singles and just throw them up - creating a mini sprinkle and just walk away without saying anything to them. Psychologically, this makes the hot ones wonder why you didn’t ogle over them like they’re used to. And letting them see you tip other women really drives their curiosity crazy.
Overall, I have a take it or leave it attitude towards all of them. I don’t know how to turn off my alpha when I’m in the sc.