Preggers (not me)
shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
I have a client who is in his late 30s. He got married for the first time late this summer (his wife’s first marriage as well and she’s in her late 30s too). The other day he was telling me that she’s 3 months pregnant, stopped her birth control 3 weeks before the wedding and didn’t tell him any of this beforehand.
I could tell he was upset when he was telling me about it. They have lived together for a few years before they got married and I have met her several times, seems like a very nice lady, and she’s attractive as well.
Total betrayal or just typical marriage crap? He’s not the first guy I know that this has happened to but the majority of those women were bat shit crazy, she doesn’t strike me as that type but I don’t know her well.
I could tell he was upset when he was telling me about it. They have lived together for a few years before they got married and I have met her several times, seems like a very nice lady, and she’s attractive as well.
Total betrayal or just typical marriage crap? He’s not the first guy I know that this has happened to but the majority of those women were bat shit crazy, she doesn’t strike me as that type but I don’t know her well.
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36 comments
Hopefully, they spoke about kids ahead of time, but if you’re having sex, you’re still rolling the dice even if you don’t want a kid at that particular moment.
Barring more details, I don’t see it as anything more than an unexpected life event.
My guess is that her priority was an (in wedlock) kid while she still could still have one. His was steady pussy. Does he claim she told him she never wanted kids? Was he telling her they would have a kid "soon", "sometime", etc.?
I think we need to pony up some tax money in some effective way to make sure single parents don't have to struggle to raise their kids well. It's good for the country demographically. She should have preferred to get preggers with anonymous jiz shot out of a turkey baster, rather than his dick. To avoid this shitshow of a marriage.
ww is right, always a risk you'll become a parent when you fuck (unless you're snipped). No birth control is 100% effective, I've read that pulling out is about as effective as the pill. It's common for women who don't think abortion is immoral to be hesitant to have one once they're preggers.
and unless he’s a real milquetoast they don’t have much of a future together
Whereas she (also being in her late 30s) knows that she has a limited window of time to have a kid without serious health risks for her and the baby. And her being good looking doesn't mean that she could quickly find another guy she'd want to father her children. So, if she stopped using birth control and kept quiet about it, then that to me is a calculated move born out of both desperation and selfishness.
If using subterfuge to bring another human into the world is considered "typical marriage crap", then the institution of marriage is beyond fucked up.
But look at it from her perspective. She was near the point of no return and had just spent three of her last precious childbearing years with him. She doesn't want to live life childless, but doesn't want to lose him either. It's too late to start fresh and try to find someone else as her window could close before the next Mr. Right comes along.
So...voila, a baby is made.
But let's also impute something not submitted into evidence. He had to know that she wanted a baby. Yet he married her anyway AND continued to fuck her without a wrapper. What did he really think was going to happen?
SJG
Manfred Mann - Blinded by the Light
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcWVL4B-…
I think starting in the yuppy-80s as more people became professionals and could treat themselves to a nice life, it starte/d being more common, seemingly more-so among white-collar-professionals, to get married but not have kids - and it looks like this current Covid-pandemic and current political climate in this country is further scaring young people from starting a family.
He should also insist on a paternity test. Who knows, the birth control might not be the only thing she lied about. Maybe he'll get lucky and find out she was knocked up turning afternoon tricks with some horn-dog TUSCL member.
One unsaid factor is his unwillingness to handle the situation himself preemtivly and simply get a vasectomy. If she balked at that well then obviously she has her own plans and it could have just ended there.
My basic point is if he was that unwilling to have a child he could have handled that situation right off the get go and did not leave it to chance or design.
Point is, we don't exactly have all the details here, but I still say she took away his right to be involved in the decision making process and that's simply not ok to do to anyone with something that life altering...especially someone you've vowed to honor and cherish.
Your only hearing the guy expressing buyer’s remorse to his buddy.
I want to hear from the wife what her side of the story is before assessing blame or judgement
I’ll bet big bucks her story is quite different.
Luckily, we were both fine with it. Just had our first daughter 18 months into the marriage instead of starting the process then as our plan had been.
But going off birth control is a pretty obvious betrayal of trust. And that's probably not how you want to kick off bringing another human into the world.
Exactly. I bet he told her that he wanted kids eventually but kept asking her to hold off. Maybe he was trying to hold on until she couldn't have kids anymore, Idk, but there's definitely another side to this.
So you're pro choice after all.