Best Strip Club Cars

avatar for TheEckster
TheEckster
Wanna go clubbing?
What are the best cars to be driving when rolling up to the strip club?

64 comments

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avatar for datinman
datinman
3 years ago
What ever your Uber driver owns?
avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
3 years ago
I'm thinking the best car to drive is the one that gets noticed the least. If I'm out at night drinking, the last thing I want is to get the attention of the police.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
Never dawned on me that as a drinker I shouldn't be driving the most ticketed vehicle in America every day ...oh well
avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember
3 years ago
And why could this possibly matter? To impress the valet who makes minimum wage plus tips?
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
When pulling up to a strip club? Wtf?

The best car for strip clubbing is one that gets you there and back safely - and one that doesn’t get stolen or broken into while you are inside the club.

I remember LapDanceKing needed to dry his pants on the dashboard of his car once - after an impressive LDK - so he may have useful insight for guys who LDK and drive.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
^ Good idea. pre-Covid if I went to a club in a rougher neighborhood I would take my wife's impreza instead of mine.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
It doesn't matter. Your best bet is uber if you're drinking
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
But strippers are impressed by hellcats
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
One that runs.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
Fuck Uber.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
Nope. I'm 100% on board with Uber (regardless of strip clubbing). I think it's great that services like Uber and Lyft have become acceptable options to avoid driving drunk and all the misery that can cause. I with that Uber had been around when I was in college (and beyond).

Ditto for strip clubs. And if you're a business traveler who doesn't want to put a rental car at risk in a shady part of town, Uber is great for that too.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
*wish
avatar for Electronman
Electronman
3 years ago
A camper van with a comfortable mattress for a quick OTC session.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
3 years ago
my bad ass prius.
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
3 years ago
I don't think the car you arrive in really makes a big difference in your strip club experience. Sure, there is some chance that a nice enough car will result in the valet mentioning something to the manager and subsequently you being approached at the door and offered bottle service and a VIP table, then sent over the strippers who'll drink your booze in the most attention seeking ways while you make it rain on them in front of your table. If that's what you're after, go ahead and rent an exotic and pull up.

I've never once been in a strip club and had a stripper offer me substandard service because I didn't arrive in the right car. And I've pulled up in some major pieces of shit and otherwise unsexy vehicles. I'm talking economy sub-compact rentals, mini vans and station wagons, old work trucks, cars that scream government owned, you name it. The same with Uber. No door girl or stripper has ever turned their nose up at me when I arrived in an Uber.

avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
3 years ago
It sure as hell is NOT an oversized, overpowered, overpriced, pickup truck. I never trust it to be valeted.
avatar for mark94
mark94
3 years ago
The car from Roadhouse. A $500 beater with 4 extra tires.
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@2ICEE

You wrote and I quote:

“strippers are impressed by hellcats”

What about the Pitch Black Dodge Demon Challenger at The Drag Strip?

In either case...

Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.

:D
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@TheEckster

I will play along and answer your question:

Q: What are the best cars to be driving when rolling up to the strip club?

A: Shiny exotics with personalized license plates like for example; “DR FEEL G” to let everyone know Dr feel-good has arrived and is in the house and should be treated accordingly...
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
Worn down shoes after parking somewhere else to avoid the valet.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
With uber you avoid parking fees and potential tickets. Sometimes uber is cheaper than parking lol

And a nice car doesn't mean much with rentals and leases the exclusivity is gone.

Sometimes a group of guys will rent a Bentley or lambo and pose with it like they do with air bnbs they rent as a group. Iys stupid
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ A group of guys renting a Lamborghini that’s actually funny, there’s a crowd for you to run with.
avatar for bkkruined
bkkruined
3 years ago
I've shown in in rented chargers, challengers, mustangs and camaros, Ram pickups with Hemis and Infinity SUVs (Hertz free upgrades...).

Can't say the experience inside the clubs was any different than showing up in the Toyota Yaris (hertz compact clown car that I had to rent 15 times to start getting upgrades).
avatar for bsa694fun
bsa694fun
3 years ago
Preferably a van but anything with a big back seat works too
avatar for TheEckster
TheEckster
3 years ago
Or you could ride a Harley-Davidson to the club like these guys -

https://youtu.be/d2XdmyBtCRQ
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Motorhome, but small enough to fit into the parking lot.

SJG
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ Does Huffy make a motor home ?
avatar for ElDuderino_AZ
ElDuderino_AZ
3 years ago
Re: Hellcats...ha, yeah, I can attest to that. Doesn't even have to be a Hellcat, though. My Challenger isn't, but is a lesser-used color. The ones who have seen it were fans. A blonde loved it, called it the pussy wagon like @nicespice's Kill Bill pic up there ^. Works for me...I just got it because I didn't want to turn 40 in a friggin Camry.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
3 years ago
Bring a hot rod. :)
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
A used Hyundai, cause no matter how nice the car, it will never be as fun as spending your car payment on lap dances.
avatar for goldmongerATL
goldmongerATL
3 years ago
One that has enough gas to get you home.

If you want to impress everyone, drive your work truck with your ladders on top. Especially if it is white and windowless.

I a couple of times I saw the same guy drive his AT&T service van to a club and go in still in his work uniform. Later heard he was a regular and eventually got fired. They do have trackers on those vans, dude.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
I get the feeling the OP has never been to a strip club.

Based on his discussions and lack of understanding of clubs, he sounds like a 16 year old virgin who watches porn and fantasizes about clubs.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Now I got another reason why I fucking hate AT&T.
avatar for TheEckster
TheEckster
3 years ago
@Cashman1234

Oh please I've been to many strips clubs and have been doing it for a long time. And to prove it, here's a pic of me ( my face blacked out of course) from back in the day - https://ibb.co/pR1Ld5F . Do you even recognize the girl in the photo??
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@TheEckster

Is that Jenna in your lap?
avatar for TheEckster
TheEckster
3 years ago
@CJKent_band

Yeah, Jenna Jameson. She was feature dancing that night. January of 1998.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
Ok, I’ll play along. What type of car does the OP pull up to a strip club in?

What was the name of the club where that photo was taken?

avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
So, I don't care about the OP's strip club résumé. The fact is that the dancers won't care about your car if you don't have cash to spend in the club. At most clubs, the dancers will never even see your car, so it doesn't matter.

The only time it might matter is if you're taking a dancer somewhere OTC after her shift. Or, if you've got some sort of sugar-baby(ish) relationship with a dancer where you regularly do social stuff outside the club. In those instances, it's better to own a decent, clean, and dependable car. Meaning, don't own a shitbox that makes a dancer want a tetanus shot before she sits in the passenger seat. Also, don't own a windowless white van, because we've all seen how that movie ends...

If you're asking "What luxury car should I drive to the strip club to get more pussy?", then I really don't think it matters a lot. This is sort of like those questions we see every so often about "What's the secret to being more successful with the dancers?", and the answer is invariably "Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Wear clean clothes. Don't be creepy.", because that advice puts you ahead of about 70% to 80% of the guys in a lot of strip clubs. If anything, pulling up to a club in a Maserati is a great way to get overcharged for everything (assuming any dancers see it).

I drive an eminently sensible, boring, and dependable car. Very few of the dancers even know what I drive, but the few who do don't care at all, because I spend money inside the club. They care a lot more about that.


avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
This reminds me of a that guy who answers every challenge with a retelling of how he scored 4 touchdowns in one game for Polk High. Kudos for having Jenna Jameson in your lap that one time in the 90's, but I thought this was about cars.

To me the best car to drive up in is one that won't be noticed.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
3 years ago
like my bad ass prius.
avatar for TheEckster
TheEckster
3 years ago
@Cashman1234

Spearmint Rhino City of Industry
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
My nondescript midsized sedan. Or SJG's Huffy.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
3 years ago
Why not use your aircraft?

Pilot Probed Over Strip Club Landing
Light plane left in club's parking lot

By Rob Quinn, Newser Staff
Posted Jul 8, 2011 10:35 AM CDT

Pilot Probed Over Strip Club Landing
The pilot may have a tough time explaining what emergency forced him to land in the strip club's parking lot.

(NEWSER) – Police responding to reports of a light aircraft going down in a town south of Montreal found the aircraft parked safely in a parking lot—of a strip club, which the pilot had entered. The 43-year-old later left the bar and took off. Canadian aviation authorities, who say pilots can't land in public places unless there is an emergency, are investigating, the Toronto Sun reports.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
Another article said the club was Le Rendez-Vous where the ultralight landed. Anyone ever been there? Must've been right off a highway.

Anyhow, whoever that dude was has won this contest. Until someone lands a jet...a helicopter would be a tie.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
3 years ago
Here is the original TUSCL topic about this landing.

https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=1597…
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
Back to the original question about car;

“a '65 chevy with primered flames, traded for some powdered goods...”

or any flashy exotic car that lets everyone from the streets to the gated communities to the strip clubs that Dr. Feel-good has the money and power because he has the powder and also can fill any and all prescriptions...
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
My friend: I just bought a Ferrari. Me: Cool, but I don't need one cuz I already have a big dick. Still hasn't let me drive it ......
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
I’m still curious @theeckster what car do you drive to the strip club?

I guess you like asking questions - but not providing your own input. That seems odd, as if you are writing a research paper.
avatar for topmandd
topmandd
3 years ago
come on people - why HUMMER of course
But you have to be riding in the back seat.
avatar for Hank Moody
Hank Moody
3 years ago
@wall ‘Anyhow, whoever that dude was has won this contest. Until someone lands a jet...a helicopter would be a tie’

St. James in Houston has a helipad out back … anyone ever see a copter there?
avatar for TheEckster
TheEckster
3 years ago
@Cashman1234

My GMC truck.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
3 years ago
"What ever your Uber driver owns?"

Very first response is my answer! If I'm going to be drinking more than a drink or two -- and most of the time, that's the agenda -- whatever my uber, lyft, or cabdriver are driving, is the ticket :)
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
An old school bus cause you're dropping off the 20 strippers you're pimping.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
TheEckster Tell me how the dancers treat you when you roll up in your GMC truck. Is it a pickup - or a Yukon? Does it get noticed in the parking lot? Or do you park it on the street?

How was Jenna when you had her on your lap? I’m sure her body was tight and firm back in the 1990’s.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
3 years ago
from the looks of her in that posted picture looks like she was losing it already.
avatar for TheEckster
TheEckster
3 years ago
TheEckster Tell me how the dancers treat you when you roll up in your GMC truck. Is it a pickup - or a Yukon? Does it get noticed in the parking lot? Or do you park it on the street?

A pickup. No. In the parking lot.

How was Jenna when you had her on your lap? I’m sure her body was tight and firm back in the 1990’s.

She looked real good in person!
avatar for DoctorPhil.
DoctorPhil.
3 years ago
All of you are wrong. Mr. Dugan says he’s the most successful club goer on this board and I have it on good authority that he drives a one-eyed Mercury Bobcat without a muffler.

That MUST be the right answer!
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ I thought a Mercury Bobcat was a pedal car ?
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
The best mileage I’ve gotten in a strip club came when I was driving an old Volvo sedan. I would park it on Bloomfield Ave and walk to a club named Heartbreakers and it never got stolen or broken into. It felt like it was built solid enough to handle anything - even if the engine was a bit finicky.

That being said - I once saw a guy park his big 7 series BMW out in front of that club - and he wasted a lot of cash on a dancer - so she would give him oral in the front seat.

A fancy car is only going to cost you more if folks (in the club) know you drive one.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
I'm curious as to the OP's intended purpose for this thread.

I suspect that it was intended to be silly fun, but (like so many threads here) it just went in another direction.
avatar for Tiburon
Tiburon
3 years ago
Don't drink and drive. Just call Uber Black its just as underwhelming
avatar for Tiburon
Tiburon
3 years ago
@Cashman Nothing wrong with dreams. They motivate you to make it a reality. I dream of spending time at the strip club, getting an escort and having her dance on stage in the VIP section. Lol total BALLER MOVE 🤣😂😎
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
3 years ago
No doubt. The very best vehicle is a 2006 red Dodge Charger R/T with a Hemi. What do I drive to the club? A 2006 red Dodge R/T, of course....😉🏎️
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