Ghosting - WTF???

azdd
On the prowl in Tucson and Phoenix
Friday, April 23, 2021 3:26 PM
I’ve just about had it with dancers that are great in the club, and tell you to text them anytime. You get the number, promise yourself to not be a pest or a dick, and you eventually reach out with a clever text to say hello and maybe start a nice little convo. Then....crickets. Nothing. Even more annoying, you get a response a few days later, which you immediately respond to, and again.....crickets. You resist texting again cuz it looks desperate. This behavior is becoming more and more common. WTF?

67 comments

So you are tired of strippers acting like strippers?
whodey
3 years ago
Maybe you should choose another hobby. You sound like someone who wants to ski, but only when its 80 degrees outside.
skibum609
3 years ago
Heaving!! 👏 You’re all growns up, son! 👍🏼
Hank Moody
3 years ago
azdd, The problem is that your name is not in the Dancers phone. When she receives a text message from you, she probably doesn't know who the text is from. If a dancer wants to give me her phone number, I have them input my name and number in their phone first so they will know who the text is from.
Hunter2019
3 years ago
"slightly above average girls get absolutely bombarded by random messages on every platform even in real life." "to you they're like a special person, but to them you're 1/100th of their work shift."
chessmaster
3 years ago
"You resist texting again cuz it looks desperate." They already think you're desperate because you're in the hobby to begin with. Even the dancers who like you. Until they know enough to think differently, you're just a customer who may or may not have enough money to rate their time. We all are. Don't worry about it and just write again if you're really trying to link up with the dancer. If you're a new customer for them, you may need to show your face another time if she's local. Sometimes it's just to get another transaction under your belt, and sometimes it's because they forgot who you are. A busy club means you could be one of dozens she noticed enough to work a lead on. For me if it's a dancer I might want to know better who just gave a number, I'll write them a quick message with a name and something random about the visit. Also helps me remember who they were.
wallanon
3 years ago
more than one dancer has told me the number one reason she ghosts customers or anyone is the message is non actionable and does not require a response. "have a good day" or "hey beautiful i want to suck your tits" will get no response. "i just got paid and want a lap dance from you. When are you working" will get a response.
K
3 years ago
If they’re ghosting you your doing this wrong best way to get their attention is with sick pix it helps if you can lay a stack of Benjamin’s around the pic Now grasshopper try this again the right way.
twentyfive
3 years ago
Haha, all great advice! I already knew all this, but everybody loves affirmation!
azdd
3 years ago
I don’t think of it as ghosting. This is a business relationship, not a personal one. It might seem personal to you, after you’ve had you dick in her mouth. To her, it’s business. When you message her saying “What’s up Sugar Tits?”, she’s thinking “Do I need anything from AZDD?” If that answer is no - there’s no need for her to reply. If she’s in the club, and it’s just her and a few crickets, that’s when you might get a reply. But, remember, you are on a list of horny old perverts, and you might not be at the top. There might few a few whales at the top, and then there’s a huge drop down to the regular perverts. Don’t take it personally - it’s business.
Cashman1234
3 years ago
The Queen of Stripper Shit strikes again, huh?
Chili Palmer
3 years ago
Its a business transaction
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
Some of these girls give their numbers out like candy. Don't take it personally. Unless you've established some type of history or rapport with her it's very possible she didn't even remember who you were. Besides, why were you texting her anyway? IME most of these girls are more likely to respond to a text if they have specific reasons to do so, like a follow-up to a planned activity or you're trying to figure out when to visit a club. Many girls countless texts from needy guys who think they're being clever and just want attention and IMHO very few of these girls want to deal with that in their free time. When I text a girl out of the blue, which is rare since I usually either wait for them to initiate or lay the groundwork ITC before texting, it has a purpose and it's brief. Either she responds or she doesn't and if not, I forget her and move on.
rickdugan
3 years ago
If I’m texting, it is always to follow up on an OTC discussion in the club. I’m not just making small talk, I’m trying to arrange a business transaction. There’s money on the table, which they have agreed to, or so they claimed in the club. I agree I’m probably one of dozens of other PLs texting them, and I agree about putting my name in their phone. It’s most promising when THEY put my name in their phone, but then.....crickets!
azdd
3 years ago
^ Got it az. Then that just means that she wasn't serious or had a change of heart in the cold sober light of day. Meh, it happens. I don't ever hold that against them - I just don't text them again. IME and IMHO it's always good to have a few pokers in the development fire (so to speak) in order to keep the OTC pantry sufficiently stocked, which IMHO makes it easier to shrug off the inevitable misfires.
rickdugan
3 years ago
LOL
rickdugan
3 years ago
Send her a pic of money and she will "remember" you.
Uprightcitizen
3 years ago
It’s interesting stuff that the OP is somebody who has been around the block for a long time. I think I’ve even seen your handle on stripper web posting in the early 2000s? I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m throwing shade. I guess just a good lesson that some things are pretty universal, whether a “newbie” or not
nicespice
3 years ago
^^^ you were cruising stripperweb in the early 2000s???? Were you doing that when you were in middle school?
shailynn
3 years ago
^ I think I was searching for something in particular and found something from that time period on there. My favorite was the heavy complaining that the money days were gone, while today the early 2000s is then glorified time now. 😁
nicespice
3 years ago
ay azdd, dude you signed up on this site the year 2005. that means you've been been at the hobby for a pretty long time. by now you should be be able to better handle that bullshit than posting here and complaining. here's some advice in dealing with the experience of feeling like shit after such a disappointment if you want: be prepared in advance: fully expect her to not respond. that way when she doesn't your reaction is simply say "figures" and just move on to another girl that you may have been targeting for some time. the feeling of disappointment won't sting as much. if she does reply then hey you get to enjoy that rare holy shit moment, "wow, she actually texted back. yay."
rattdog
3 years ago
Yes, thanks everyone for all the great advice and sarcasm! What would this site be without it? To Nicespice, yeah there’s a few of us here who haunted the SW and SCJ boards many years ago. Some of us AZ guys, myself, Cihili Palmer, and Richard Head have been at this longer than many of our dancer pals have been alive!
azdd
3 years ago
AZDD I agree it is annoying. So what I do is I just keep texting until they respond. So far I haven’t had OTC in 5 years but I feel I’m about to breakthrough. Anyway this is a typical text convo with a stripper I’ve gotten to know Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hi Wanna fuck? Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey That’s usually just the 1st day but wait until you get till 17th day oh boy does it start to get even more exciting.
Muddy
3 years ago
Strip club rookie back in the day... gave my real phone number to a girl. 3 months later dumb ass txts me at 1am on a Friday night “come visit me at the club.” I actually responded “I would love to but I’m at home, which is 2 time zones away right now.” It’s then I realized that stripper probably sent a mass txt to every number in her contacts including her mom. From now on I only communicate with strippers through smoke signals if it’s not face to face at the club.
shailynn
3 years ago
"if it does not happen in 30 days.. they have figured out other means to get money" In 30 days she'll have lost that phone and gotten a new number. I don't know what these girls do to their phones ...
ancientlurker
3 years ago
And not for nothing let the guy vent a little you jaded fucks!
Muddy
3 years ago
Text something like this: "Guess whose got a bunch of extra fun money because he just... (A) Closed a big deal? (B) Got a bonus? (C) Won big at the casino? (D) [You get the idea] Are you around to help me with the 'fun' part of fun money?" And if you're trying to be more clever than that, then you're wasting your time. And if she doesn't reply, then either she's already helping some other guys blow through his fun money, or she doesn't check her burner phone. Which is why you should have more than one stripper phone number.
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
Funny you told that story Shailynn - one of the dancers that was ghosting me responded after several days that she was sorry but she’d been on vacation. I texted back to ask if she’d been somewhere fun. Of course crickets followed, until a day land a half later when she texted back at 1:00am to say she went to Six Flags. Good thing my wife is a heavy sleeper! Desertscrub commented that strippers operate on a different time scale. So true!
azdd
3 years ago
As we say around here; a strip-club is not a girlfriend supermarket - i.e. don't expect them to act as such or even as a friend - unless you are in the club with $$$ in your hand then it's usually out-of-sight-out-of-mind - do you really think the salesperson that sales you a TV or a car gives a fuck about you; same thing. Like most people, most of these girls don't wanna "deal w/ work when not on the clock" - many of these girls likely can't stand being in the club or just tolerate it and thus less-so dealing w/ PLs when not in the club.
Papi_Chulo
3 years ago
Part of problem is about the expectations, too often we think texting is an effective method of communication, the reality is texting is convenient but not truly effective. Then factor in the flakiness of strippers and your have a formula for ghosting. When I was mongering I had plenty of DS and BGs try to contact me to visit them, claiming they lost their phones, deleted their contacts, reset thiet WhatsApp, and host of many more reasons for losing touch. It happens, no big loss because the one great thing about this hobby (lifestyle) is there are plenty of girls willing to take your money.
Cristobal
3 years ago
My texts are fairly simple. "Hi, going to be in this weekend?" And I usually get an answer back in 30 minutes. In most cases I don't even have to even ask, I often get texts like the following, during the week. "Hey, baby, you coming in this weekend?" or "Letting you know, I am not going to be working this weekend." Then when she's working. "Hey, baby. It's boring here. Are you coming in?" "I miss you." "I am horny, lets have some fun." And intermixed during both times stuff like. "I have a new outfit I would like to show you." "I learned a new dance move."
rl27
3 years ago
Guys forget cell phones and texting. Use Instagram. Way way better than text. I have all of my sugar baby dancers phone numbers but usually only communicate with them through Insta. Plus you can see all their pictures. I just make little comments or like a pic and interact with them that way. If you don't have an Insta profile get one now. Text is dead.
latinalover69
3 years ago
I'm LOL'ing at a lot of responses directed towards azdd, a veteran monger who has (for real, unlike so many others on this board), pulled some of the hottest strippers in this town. I know for a fact who the stripper is to whom he is referring, and this woman, aside from being one of the hottest strippers in this or any other town, is also apparently a supremely gifted actress. I went back and forth with the same gal for months, with incredible promises inside the club, followed by breathless texts of "I can't wait to see you, what time are we meeting" followed by complete ghosting. Lather, rinse, repeat. No that COVID is, for all intents and purposes, over, I stopped my pursuit of her and am enjoying the target rich environment of freshly re-opened clubs and the dancers there-in, none of whom are nearly as vexing as this one. The real question is, what is her end game? She gives INCREDIBLE lap dances--I mean, complete GFE, and as much 2-way contact as you can do in a club. No matter how much she pisses me off outside, if she is working, I will gladly hand over a ton of cash to partake in her dances. So there's no reason to dangle a carrot because she's gonna get my money (and azdd's) regardless, and she knows it. Just say, "I don't see customers outside the club" and be rid of this situation. It makes no sense, which is why she is a dancer, I guess.
Chili Palmer
3 years ago
Maybe this thread was supposed to be satire and people (me included) just missed the joke.
wallanon
3 years ago
You know what azdd I wouldn't stress it, somehow I think that love will find a way [view link]
Muddy
3 years ago
OP's orignal post is oozing with entitlement. We (dancers) have lives outside of work and owe you 0% of our time outside of the club. Stop being a whiney, entitled little brat and realize that.
wiffle shwaffle
3 years ago
Waffle offers excellent advice. Well said., Chili Palmer offers useful background as well. His description of the ghosting dancer provides insight to fill in some gaps. Based on his description - the dancer is all about ITC experiences - and making the customers feel like kings inside the club. She will lead guys on a bit when ITC - so they aren’t disappointed. She’s not going to say no to anything ITC, and guys love it. Her energy is focused on the complete ITC GFE - and she’s great at it. Maybe it’s best to just leave it at that? I doubt guys will change her. For a long time member - isn’t there a saying about not confusing experiences inside the club with what might happen outside the club?
Cashman1234
3 years ago
Just send her dick pics. That always works for me
BBBC
3 years ago
I am sick of dudes ghosting me on here too. How do i get some of these guys to admit they are gay?
BBBC
3 years ago
As usual the OP should listen to my brother from a hairless ape mother. If you damn dirty apes could just learn that simple fact you’d be so much better off. As double-D ape, you sound like that Wile E. Coyote fellow from the documentaries when something goes wrong with his Acme products. I mean really, why doesn’t that damn coyote just buy his rocket bike from another company? As a rick I suggest that he chase that asshole roadrunner in a frickin’ Tesla. If that roadrunner fucked with me I’d whip out my drivin’ whiskey and go after him full speed ahead. And when my Tesla took him out I’d be all “fuck you wildebeest woooo!” Anyhoo, to return to the original topic my advice is listen tot he dugan and check whether you are using an Acme phone to text her. If you are using an Acme phone your texts may not be getting through. Hope this helps. ROAR!!!
rickthelion
3 years ago
Let me guess, this is a Bourbon girl? I’ve had many of those dancers promise to meet up, some with a cash infusion and some without and the one time we did hook up was for free when she moved to another club and divorced her husband who got out of jail. With the drama that ensued it actually costed more than if I’d had paid her a few hundred $$s. I’m sure this one has the game down nicely that any veteran would fall for it. Thanks for the thought provoking post AZDD.
Mate27
3 years ago
Be direct. Hot girls aren't looking for lame conversations w dudes thinking they're clever(you're not).
alldaylong
3 years ago
"OP's orignal post is oozing with entitlement. We (dancers) have lives outside of work and owe you 0% of our time outside of the club. Stop being a whiney, entitled little brat and realize that." Do dancers owe not even the basic human decency to answer a text? I think it's reasonable to interpret giving out a phone number as a willingness to communicate. Of course I don't mean if it reaches the level of nagging, but if it's just once in a while (I don't know, 1/week max maybe?) then yeah I think it's just basic human decency to answer. Or is ghosting the actual answer? Is it one of those passive-aggressive "signals" we're supposed to understand to mean "go away and don't text me again until I text you"?
ancientlurker
3 years ago
===> "I'm LOL'ing at a lot of responses directed towards azdd, a veteran monger who has (for real, unlike so many others on this board), pulled some of the hottest strippers in this town." I have no doubt that azdd is all that and a bag of chips, which if anything makes his initial post even more surprising. I don't mean any offense to him, but he should be seasoned enough by now to know that this stuff comes with the turf and to handle it with equanimity. In fact, if anything, how she behaves ITC when offering it up should have been an even bigger warning sign that she's just running a stringalong hustle. In the countless times I've done this dance over the years, almost every girl who was seriously considering (or making) an OTC offer went through a sudden demeanor change from the chirpy ITC fun gal to quieter and more matter of fact. Conversely, the ones that are overselling it with passion are almost always making empty offers that will never come to fruition. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't cost anything but a few seconds to to shoot a gal a quick follow-up text the next day and sometimes I am surprised by a girl who I did not expect to respond. But IME the probability that any girl who went over the top selling it ITC will actually respond is very low, while it is much higher with the quieter and seemingly more serious ones. So I have no expectations with the hustle-ish gals and if one actually comes through then it's a bonus. Anyway just my two cents fwiw.
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "Do dancers owe not even the basic human decency to answer a text?" No they do not. Nobody is obligated to interact with someone who he/she does not wish to, whether it's by text or any other means. Any feeling to the contrary by someone who tries to initiate the interaction is the ultimate form of self entitlement.
rickdugan
3 years ago
So the OP's a seasoned vet. Nobody cares. Much less the girl that's ghosting him.
alldaylong
3 years ago
"Nobody is obligated to interact with someone who he/she does not wish to, whether it's by text or any other means. Any feeling to the contrary by someone who tries to initiate the interaction is the ultimate form of self entitlement." Well we disagree on that. If you open the door by giving someone your number, then decide you don't want to talk after all, then in my opinion you need to SAY SO, not ghost. I find your characterization as "the ultimate form of self entitlement" to be outrageously hyperbolic. Really, the ultimate? There is nothing worse in your mind?
ancientlurker
3 years ago
She might not owe anyone a return call, but life has a funny way of getting even with bitches, she might need something at some point in time ( probably will , but we’ll never know about it) and if she’s ghosted me in the past she ain’t gettin anything in the future ( I don’t owe here anything either.
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ Some customer ignoring a dancer in the future isn’t much of a karma though. More like...life naturally happening.
nicespice
3 years ago
^ Might be true but you never know my dad told me you meet the same folks on the way down that you met on the way up, and how you treated them when you were doing well, is how they’ll treat you on the way down
twentyfive
3 years ago
if she doesn't respond just simply put her on your shit list and delete her number. ghosting is a clear indication that you're already for the most part on her shit list.
rattdog
3 years ago
===> "I find your characterization as "the ultimate form of self entitlement" to be outrageously hyperbolic. Really, the ultimate? There is nothing worse in your mind?" Yes, the ultimate. There are few things as precious as one's emotional energy. When one feels entitled to a girl's attention just because she gave him a phone number, it's barely a half step above that guy who thinks that he's entitled to approach people in public or on the subway (by way of two examples) and then gets mad when they don't want to talk to him. For strippers, many of whom already expend a ton of emotional energy just dealing with us ITC, this is even more true. I'm not going to blame a girl for not wanting to engage with customers off the clock if she doesn't want to, especially since all too often we contact them because we ultimately want to get in their pants.
rickdugan
3 years ago
To be fair, I think the complaining was not being responded to after several days—not on demand. And presumably one would be back at the club at some point. Which means one could respond when back “on the clock” I would consider the actions a gaffe, but I’m not one in a position to be able to judge without being a hypocrite. From the way she was described, however, she seems like the type of dancer who frequently stays busy and doesn’t necessarily have time to be attentive to her phone and barrage of different phone numbers.
nicespice
3 years ago
Also, just like I choose to judge not the dancer because it would be a harsh judgement back at me, it may do Rick some good to not judge too harshly at the OP either. I remember some pretty harsh statements against dancers who work part-time in a vanilla job as (and doesn’t consider emotional energy as a justifiable reason in those instances conveniently). Or even dancers who make the sin on not approaching his table to drink lots of alcohol and pitched for discount OTC. 🤷🏻‍♀️
nicespice
3 years ago
Wow. I’m feeling entitled to close this thread, if I had that authority!
azdd
3 years ago
Nice, I'm not sure what the timing has to do with anything. I don't believe that anyone has a right to expect any response, whether immediate or a week later. But to be clear, my harsh judgment wasn't directed at the OP, but rather at one guy who framed his view of a dancer's obligation to give him attention as a matter of "basic human decency." Seriously now. Also to be clear, I don't hold any grudges against dancers who work part time or don't approach me - I simply said that I use these issues as a screening filter. And DISCOUNT OTC? I'll have you know that I pay full freight for my fun. 😉
rickdugan
3 years ago
Was there a CMI sighting in this thread? A rare thing these days.
Huntsman
3 years ago
“… We (dancers) have lives outside of work …” Pretty-much what I think – many of these girls have S.O.s (husbands; BFs) and/or kids they have to tend to in their off-time, or w/e other obligations or problems they may have IRL – may not apply to all dancers but a good # - as I’ve posted in the past, PLs and dancers have different needs and motivations w.r.t. SCing (obviously) – for a PL it’s all about fun and entertainment; for dancers it’s work and like most people they may not like their job and/or just tolerate it (of course there are exceptions) – most dancers deal w/ most PL$ b/c they have to, not b/c they want to (harsh but probably the truth in most cases) – so it should be obvious that most would not want to deal w/ PLs during non-working-hours and PLs should understand this – I’m sure it’s not uncommon for PLs to blow-off dancers contacting him when he doesn’t wanna be contacted. Strip-club-world being bizarro-world means there are a lot of “unwritten rules” one leanrs w/ experience as a PL – the reality is that dancers can’t afford to be in the habit of saying no and saying no it’s often not good for busine$$ – and this is why many dancers may not say no to communicating OTC when they rather not b/c they are afraid of saying no and hurting the PL’s ego to where he may not wanna deal w/ her going-forward (this does not apply to all PLs but def many if not most).
Papi_Chulo
3 years ago
In short - there are dancers we PLs don't wanna/choose to deal with (e.g. "not right now" when we really mean not interested) - same goes for da ladiez
Papi_Chulo
3 years ago
Sounds like the OP was just trying to finalize an OTC encounter that was initially discussed ITC. Sometimes OTC takes a lot of planning. Being ghosted at that step would be an agitation. OP was simply trying to close a business deal not looking casual banter. Jeez.
Lone_Wolf
3 years ago
from rl27: "My texts are fairly simple. "Hi, going to be in this weekend?" And I usually get an answer back in 30 minutes. In most cases I don't even have to even ask, I often get texts like the following, during the week. "Hey, baby, you coming in this weekend?" or "Letting you know, I am not going to be working this weekend." Then when she's working. "Hey, baby. It's boring here. Are you coming in?" "I miss you." "I am horny, lets have some fun." And intermixed during both times stuff like. "I have a new outfit I would like to show you." "I learned a new dance move." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- all of these can be sent mass text and often are. if the text doesn't read "hi PL-NAME", when are you coming in?, assume it's a mass text she's sending to find out who will respond.
joewebber
3 years ago
when you "eventually" reach out? I always send a short message right after leaving the club so that she knows that's my number. I'll usually get a response either quickly, or soon after the club closes that night. (no response, forget about her).
bkkruined
3 years ago
===> "Sometimes OTC takes a lot of planning. Being ghosted at that step would be an agitation." Anyone who has been doing this as long as he has should understand the unreliable nature of dancers by now. Getting agitated about it is a pointless waste of emotional energy. For this reason, even when I have a confirmed OTC outing, I don't start driving until I have same day confirmation. I also never prepay anything anymore unless I have history with the gal and always have a backup plan, even if it's just clubbing instead of an OTC outing. I suspect that many others here do the same.
rickdugan
3 years ago
I think Mr. "Grab 'em by the pussy", "when you're a star they let you do it" showed a much higher level of entitlement than someone expecting a reply to an invited message.
ancientlurker
3 years ago
So we're setting the bar at sexual assault ancient? Good to know. ;)
rickdugan
3 years ago
I'm not setting any bars. You called it (expecting a response) "the ultimate form of self entitlement". When I questioned you on it, you doubled down. ultimate: best, most, greatest of its kind. I showed one that is greater.
ancientlurker
3 years ago
I guess I'm pretty lucky. The one stripper I text will text me back. Just on her time
kingcripple
3 years ago
Login or Join to leave a comment.
Start a Discussion