Did you ever face stigma for your lifestyle choices, how did you overcome it?
Beat100
NOTE: I've been going to brothels, stripclubs and others since I was 18, so I'm not talking about myself. Rather I want to share my observations.
I notice in America if I were to invite guys to stripclubs(especially younger guys) or tell them to visit an escort 8/10 would say, 'No" or "I'm not sure about it." Of course this is anecdotal evidence, however, I do talk to a lot of guys even outside of the "manosphere." A lot of them would say, "Using money to get girls is bad..etc' "Going to those places is bad."
Meanwhile, I'ven noticed that a lot of guys from Eastern Europe and Latin America that I've talked to would say, "Yes, let's do it." I would say Western Europe lies somewhere in between. I would say some guys in these countries would be 7/10 more inclined to do it.
I wonder how did you guys overcome this stigma and decided to do whatever you wanted? Especially, even travelling abroad to clubs like FKK or Hong Kong..etc. It'll be interested to hear from the ladies as well since I bet many of you face some sort of stigma. Although with feminism I've seen women saying that any form of sx work is empowering.
It seems that America follow an implicit Swedish model where the customer faces most of the shame and stigma.
I notice in America if I were to invite guys to stripclubs(especially younger guys) or tell them to visit an escort 8/10 would say, 'No" or "I'm not sure about it." Of course this is anecdotal evidence, however, I do talk to a lot of guys even outside of the "manosphere." A lot of them would say, "Using money to get girls is bad..etc' "Going to those places is bad."
Meanwhile, I'ven noticed that a lot of guys from Eastern Europe and Latin America that I've talked to would say, "Yes, let's do it." I would say Western Europe lies somewhere in between. I would say some guys in these countries would be 7/10 more inclined to do it.
I wonder how did you guys overcome this stigma and decided to do whatever you wanted? Especially, even travelling abroad to clubs like FKK or Hong Kong..etc. It'll be interested to hear from the ladies as well since I bet many of you face some sort of stigma. Although with feminism I've seen women saying that any form of sx work is empowering.
It seems that America follow an implicit Swedish model where the customer faces most of the shame and stigma.
43 comments
My friends that "wouldn't do so themselves" aren't moral scolds. The married ones are faithful; good, because I don't trust cheaters. Others see strip clubs as "all a big tease" or just don't get a thrill out of it.
I grew up in a very Catholic household, with all the hang ups that come with it. It only made the mongering world into more "forbidden fruit." Doing what I'm "not supposed to do" is part of the thrill. I love the "dirty" feeling of turning into an SC parking lot or walking up to the door and wondering if I'm going to see someone I know. And vodka, sports on the tube, and a smorgasbord of beautiful, scantily-clad women is great reinforcement behavior.
I wouldn't want the fact that I like strip clubs plastered all over billboards. But a lot more people like them, than brag about it in public.
Agreed. Honestly, I find it that most American guys should be more open to this lifestyle. Especially since in the younger generation we see a big disparage. In one hand, you have incel guys who watch porn and play video games while on the other you have American girls who are doing everything from hooking up with sugar daddies, club promoters, photographers, filmmakers..etc. I think they should live their own live. But the guys should do their own thing.
w.r.t. my PL-lifestyle - I don't discuss it w/ anyone b/c in our society that is often looked down-upon based on tradition - the only one that knows about my PLing is my older (by 3-years) brother - his only concern w.r.t. my PLing is the $$$ aspect - he doesn't know how much I spend but most people are aware SCing is an expensive endeavor especially if one does it on the regular - my brother is married with kids but he used to SC in his 20s even though he was in relationships most of that time - but for him it was mostly for fun and hanging out with friends although sometimes he would spend more than he wanted - I'm pretty-sure if my brother was single he'd be involved in the sex-biz whether it'd be clubs or escorts - he has middle-aged friends that are either divorced, or married but still play on the side, and he kinda talks in awe of their exploits - my brother's wife is a 3rd-degree ball-buster and wears the pants in the family and is a bit of s psycho, the shit would more than hit the fan if my brother got caught doing anything - she's smart, suspicious, and insecure; and keeps close-tabs on everything going on in the household and kinda rules with an iron-fist - I don't think my brother does shit on the side based on his situation and the fact he has super-high expenses (both his kids spent most of their schooling both in private school, plus other large expenses he has); so for him part of not doing shit on the side is the expense of it so I don't "think' he does shit on the side but I would not be surprised if he did at least once in a while (he's been married a bit over 20-years).
red roses
little red corvette
"There's a red house over yonder, that's where my baby stays."
redrum
red barchetta
see what i did there? do u see? do u see?
if he ever gets a 5 to move in with him, then may he head out to work, girly invites dude for a fuck. when done the dude just pisses all over his bed and pillows and blanket. then they leave together and max out the cards & checkbook.
adios-maricon
So I don't face any "stigma".
My immediate family, on the other hand, would disown me if they even found out an 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘩 of what I have done or am currently doing.
Easier said then done for those that rely on society. What you find is the people may be shocked, but that wears off.
Relationship with an SO is a different story, but even then it can be brought up. The earlier the better or forever hide.
NAAAASTY
Could you expand? How did your wife agree to that arrangement? I read some of your post and it seems that your wife is more o submissive but even then woman would get jealous..etc
But - often times as women age they lose interest in sex, and after a certain # of years some couples have an understanding per se in that the wife understands/accepts the husband wants/needs sex but she's not interested so she kinda lets the husband do his thing on the down-low
Stigma?
I have some family who are extremely judgemental but I do not care what they think about my lifestyle (though i am mongering hiatus).
Some family members and workmates asked about the lifestyle, the clubs, and especially, the girls and a few would occasionally ask my opinion for which strip club to go for a bachelor or birthday party.
A few family and friends even asked me to take them to TJ to party but all bailed out at the last minute.
Sometimes, certain stuff gets awkward. Like the time I got a parking ticket in St Louis and something got sent over my mom’s way. She questioned what the heck I was doing in St Louis but didn’t push it too hard. Kept the nomad stuff to myself too because I’m sure that would be considered dangerous or something.
They think PLs are losers, creeps and stalkers.
The same thing can be said about the men that don’t go to strip clubs.
Or generous, successful men. It depends. The only ones I find to he losers, creeps, and stalkers are the ones who act like losers, creeps, and stalkers.
I've had many regulars who were normal guys with money to spend. And the fact that they chose to spend it on me makes them winners, not losers!
Do you think this phenomenon is moreso in America? I noticed some girls here do not like men. They could be lesbians and only doing this part-time.
I have a long time female friend who I’m pretty sure suspects what’s going on, just based on my travel and a few unwise remarks I made over the years. I doubt she’ll ever bring it up with me unless there’s some big opening up between us.
As others pointed out, there’s huge stigma and resentment just between different kinds of sex workers. Some strippers even get upset if you mention that you’ve been to a different club.
After my children had grown up and finished college, I got divorced. For the first time, I had money for myself. But hot young women had no interest in dating a man in his 50s who was not a movie star or a billionaire. I started visiting strip clubs.
I didn't feel any stigma about going to strip clubs. I was more concerned about my safety. However, I soon became comfortable in upscale Detroit clubs. I made friends with dancers and dated some of them. Dating included long term and short term relationships, and of course I provided them with financial help.
I was surprised at how easy it was to have sex with strippers for money. But I did not feel I was doing anything wrong. These adult women gave me something I wanted and I paid them for it.
Now I'm retired and have no one to answer to. My adult children live in other states and don't know what I'm doing. My straight friends would be shocked to learn that I've ever been to a strip club, but I wouldn't change anything if they did find out. No one can shame me for what I do.
I've visited brothels in Tijuana, Thailand, Germany and Austria. I have not felt bad about my behavior. I have not hurt or exploited any women. I do what I want all day every day.
We are filthy old perverts - and we openly hand out money to the women who look so beautiful we can’t help but hand over our wallets.
I’m not saying that I’m not a filthy old pervert -
I've been to more than one club with my boss in several cities around the country. He knows I used to hit brothels in TJ and one time he called me with his boss and they wanted to go to TJ while in the area. Didn't happen but they were interested.
I don't really share most details of my life with my family but that includes a lot more things than strip clubs. I really don't care if they found out but not going to advertise it.
Convenience. I was busier than busy, and strip clubs were there during hours I wasn't working in places where I had nothing else to do. Things didn't stay convenient, but that's a different post.
We ricks have our own rick morality and don’t care what the average ape thinks.
Squawk!!!
A rick caring what a non-rick thinks... I DON’T THINK SO!!!
ROAR!!!
wrt to a lot of guys in general, it's half in half that the word stigma should be displaced with the word jealousy.
I don't tell people I go but I don't hide it either. Its not hard to find out if a friend is open to going, just casually bring up the subject and see how they respond.
I can't comment on the younger Millennials and Z people. The older Millennuals I 've known generally are cool with clubs. Anyone under 25 to 30 today I have no clue about and don't really want to. Sad world they are inheriting is all I can say.
Maybe, I'm idealizng, however, when I see bands like Guns and Roses at stripclubs it seems like a fun time. While now with the millennials and gen Z there are all these weird movements from incels to mgtow that are obsessed with getting validation from women more so than sex. Truly two generations which should be forgotten.
MGTOW guys are at least working their way to self-improvement and will engage in the pump and dump if they so choose. they realize the risks of committed relationships with women are many, and far outweigh the benefits. they feel that women can only bring them down with them. if you think about it can you blame these guys for feeling this way?