Did you ever face stigma for your lifestyle choices, how did you overcome it?

43 comments

• Tetradon

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  4 years ago

  I don't advertise it beyond my closest friends. Some of them like strip clubs, some have done things I'd never do (one raw dogged a hooker, another bought sex in Thailand), the rest don't but don't see those who do as freaks. My friends that "wouldn't do so themselves" aren't moral scolds. The married ones are faithful; good, because I don't trust cheaters. Others see strip clubs as "all a big tease" or just don't get a thrill out of it. I grew up in a very Catholic household, with all the hang ups that come with it. It only made the mongering world into more "forbidden fruit." Doing what I'm "not supposed to do" is part of the thrill. I love the "dirty" feeling of turning into an SC parking lot or walking up to the door and wondering if I'm going to see someone I know. And vodka, sports on the tube, and a smorgasbord of beautiful, scantily-clad women is great reinforcement behavior. I wouldn't want the fact that I like strip clubs plastered all over billboards. But a lot more people like them, than brag about it in public.
• Warrior15

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  4 years ago

  This is exactly why I like this website. Where else can I talk about banging strippers and sugar babies ?
• IceyLoco

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  4 years ago

  I don't pay to fuck and think it's a bad hustle for the hoes tbh
• IceyLoco

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  4 years ago

  I feel sorry for tricks but many are unable to get bitches for obvious reasons
• Beat100

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  4 years ago

  @Warrior Agreed. Honestly, I find it that most American guys should be more open to this lifestyle. Especially since in the younger generation we see a big disparage. In one hand, you have incel guys who watch porn and play video games while on the other you have American girls who are doing everything from hooking up with sugar daddies, club promoters, photographers, filmmakers..etc. I think they should live their own live. But the guys should do their own thing.
• IceyLoco

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  4 years ago

  Most american guys can get laid. You come across like you have an incel agenda.
• NinaBambina

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  4 years ago

  I'm just a stripper, I don't even do "extras," but there's still a stigma attached to the fact that I decided to be a stripper. I've recently learned that I don't really care who knows or what they think about it. They don't know shit anyway. I can't stand overly judgmental people, they're not worth my time, therefore their opinion means absolutely nothing.
• rickdugan

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  4 years ago

  For a guy it should be a simple matter to just keep it to himself. That's what I do. Obviously it's a different animal for girls who do it for a living several days per week.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  Yeah - America has def been behind the 8-ball compared to most areas of the world when it comes to the adult/sex biz - America was founded by Puritans, and Christian believes have had a big say in the founding and developing of our country - so there def seems to be a difference b/w the U.S. and most of the world w.rt. the sex-biz and i assume a big part of that stems from our Puritan beginnings. w.r.t. my PL-lifestyle - I don't discuss it w/ anyone b/c in our society that is often looked down-upon based on tradition - the only one that knows about my PLing is my older (by 3-years) brother - his only concern w.r.t. my PLing is the $$$ aspect - he doesn't know how much I spend but most people are aware SCing is an expensive endeavor especially if one does it on the regular - my brother is married with kids but he used to SC in his 20s even though he was in relationships most of that time - but for him it was mostly for fun and hanging out with friends although sometimes he would spend more than he wanted - I'm pretty-sure if my brother was single he'd be involved in the sex-biz whether it'd be clubs or escorts - he has middle-aged friends that are either divorced, or married but still play on the side, and he kinda talks in awe of their exploits - my brother's wife is a 3rd-degree ball-buster and wears the pants in the family and is a bit of s psycho, the shit would more than hit the fan if my brother got caught doing anything - she's smart, suspicious, and insecure; and keeps close-tabs on everything going on in the household and kinda rules with an iron-fist - I don't think my brother does shit on the side based on his situation and the fact he has super-high expenses (both his kids spent most of their schooling both in private school, plus other large expenses he has); so for him part of not doing shit on the side is the expense of it so I don't "think' he does shit on the side but I would not be surprised if he did at least once in a while (he's been married a bit over 20-years).
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  The main stigma I faced from my conservative Hispanic family was not getting married - thru my 20s into early-30s (now 50) it was something I had to deal w/ fairly-regularly - it wasn't unbereable by any means, but kinda uncomfortable - when ever I'd be dating a girl for a while then the marriage thing would tend to intensify from some family members - I know they meant well and just wanted me to find a life-partner (divorce in my family is not that common) but it wasn't really my desire and the older I got the less I wanted to be married and in time I guess they figured it out or just accepted it.
• pistola

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  4 years ago

  Is it just me or does Icey sound like a republican that championed for Fosta Sesta. Who knew he was red state deep down?
• rattdog

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  4 years ago

  red-such a great word. red roses little red corvette "There's a red house over yonder, that's where my baby stays." redrum red barchetta
• rattdog

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  4 years ago

  yeah pistola, he had to make a choice: either support fosta sesta or keep jerking to backpage until his dick turned deep red. see what i did there? do u see? do u see?
• rattdog

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  4 years ago

  i put that iced cuntrag on ignore. it's a wonderful function. who knew? if he ever gets a 5 to move in with him, then may he head out to work, girly invites dude for a fuck. when done the dude just pisses all over his bed and pillows and blanket. then they leave together and max out the cards & checkbook. adios-maricon
• georgmicrodong

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  4 years ago

  My wife knows, my daughter probably knows, but nobody else besides a couple of guys I occasionally club with. And of course, the girls and bartenders. So I don't face any "stigma".
• Eve

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  4 years ago

  From friends, not really, no. I tend to avoid befriending men and women who I even suspect in the slightest are close-minded - especially on the topic of sexuality or the sex industry. If someone I don't know happens to ask what I do for work and I'm honest with them, it's because I have a feeling I won't be crossing paths with them again or letting them into my circle. My immediate family, on the other hand, would disown me if they even found out an 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘩 of what I have done or am currently doing.
• Eve

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  4 years ago

  Seems like the only 'stigma' I've ever faced was from other strippers/SWers that had some sort of eliticism/seniority/superiority complex that looked down on other working girls that haven't worked for as long as they have/don't follow a certain deeper unspoken etiquette/charge too little or too much money for too little or too much action/have the nerve to breathe the same air as they do.
• rattdog

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  4 years ago

  stigma regarding my choices...yeah probably. if it was brought to me then fuck those people. i chose to ignore those and disassociate myself away from such. my choices have brought me joy, freedom, relaxation, and has kept me looking younger than my actual age over the years.
• NAAAASTY

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  4 years ago

  Stigmas aren't real. It only affects you if you let it. There's a degree of freedom in owning it, that those who hide it will never fathom. Easier said then done for those that rely on society. What you find is the people may be shocked, but that wears off. Relationship with an SO is a different story, but even then it can be brought up. The earlier the better or forever hide. NAAAASTY
• Beat100

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  4 years ago

  @george Could you expand? How did your wife agree to that arrangement? I read some of your post and it seems that your wife is more o submissive but even then woman would get jealous..etc
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  Not trying to answer for @george But - often times as women age they lose interest in sex, and after a certain # of years some couples have an understanding per se in that the wife understands/accepts the husband wants/needs sex but she's not interested so she kinda lets the husband do his thing on the down-low
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^ this scenario seems more common in couples that have been together for a while; but by no means is it universal
• Cashman1234

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  4 years ago

  If someone gets worked up and upset over my lifestyle choices - I simply call that person a racist. It was rough - when my mother didn’t approve of my mongering - but racism is prevalent everywhere!
• Cristobal

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  4 years ago

  Most of my friends, family, and some work mates knew about my mongering and I coukd careless what they thought. Stigma? I have some family who are extremely judgemental but I do not care what they think about my lifestyle (though i am mongering hiatus). Some family members and workmates asked about the lifestyle, the clubs, and especially, the girls and a few would occasionally ask my opinion for which strip club to go for a bachelor or birthday party. A few family and friends even asked me to take them to TJ to party but all bailed out at the last minute.
• Muddy

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  4 years ago

  I'm open about it and IDGAF
• nicespice

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  4 years ago

  Give a couple family members plausible deniability, not in contact with the rest of them. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sometimes, certain stuff gets awkward. Like the time I got a parking ticket in St Louis and something got sent over my mom’s way. She questioned what the heck I was doing in St Louis but didn’t push it too hard. Kept the nomad stuff to myself too because I’m sure that would be considered dangerous or something.
• nicespice

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  4 years ago

  Protip to any dancer: in our anti-sex society where stuff like that is considered bad. Help the customer feel at ease during that type of stuff by looking at him in the eyes and saying “I only do this with yo momma”
• Cashman1234

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  4 years ago

  And now I’m very aroused! Thanks NiceSpice! That’s a very hot post!
• Bavarian

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  4 years ago

  Not just stigma from society but from strippers themselves. They think PLs are losers, creeps and stalkers. The same thing can be said about the men that don’t go to strip clubs.
• NinaBambina

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  4 years ago

  "They think PLs are losers, creeps and stalkers." Or generous, successful men. It depends. The only ones I find to he losers, creeps, and stalkers are the ones who act like losers, creeps, and stalkers. I've had many regulars who were normal guys with money to spend. And the fact that they chose to spend it on me makes them winners, not losers!
• Beat100

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  4 years ago

  @Bavarian Do you think this phenomenon is moreso in America? I noticed some girls here do not like men. They could be lesbians and only doing this part-time.
• 8TM

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  4 years ago

  Never told anyone, never been asked. There are a bunch of other guys in my friend group who are permanently single, so I just kind of fit in with them. I’d never invite them to a club because I don’t want to get them hooked into something they couldn’t afford. I have a long time female friend who I’m pretty sure suspects what’s going on, just based on my travel and a few unwise remarks I made over the years. I doubt she’ll ever bring it up with me unless there’s some big opening up between us. As others pointed out, there’s huge stigma and resentment just between different kinds of sex workers. Some strippers even get upset if you mention that you’ve been to a different club.
• jackslash

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  4 years ago

  For most of my life, I was working and attending college or working and supporting a family. I married at age 21. I did not have the disposable income needed for strip clubbing. After my children had grown up and finished college, I got divorced. For the first time, I had money for myself. But hot young women had no interest in dating a man in his 50s who was not a movie star or a billionaire. I started visiting strip clubs. I didn't feel any stigma about going to strip clubs. I was more concerned about my safety. However, I soon became comfortable in upscale Detroit clubs. I made friends with dancers and dated some of them. Dating included long term and short term relationships, and of course I provided them with financial help. I was surprised at how easy it was to have sex with strippers for money. But I did not feel I was doing anything wrong. These adult women gave me something I wanted and I paid them for it. Now I'm retired and have no one to answer to. My adult children live in other states and don't know what I'm doing. My straight friends would be shocked to learn that I've ever been to a strip club, but I wouldn't change anything if they did find out. No one can shame me for what I do. I've visited brothels in Tijuana, Thailand, Germany and Austria. I have not felt bad about my behavior. I have not hurt or exploited any women. I do what I want all day every day.
• Cashman1234

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  4 years ago

  I think that negative view is possibly something you would see on the pink site. We are filthy old perverts - and we openly hand out money to the women who look so beautiful we can’t help but hand over our wallets. I’m not saying that I’m not a filthy old pervert -
• mike710

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  4 years ago

  I don't go out of my way to tell anyone but I don't go out of my way to hide it. I prefer to go alone but have taken a few friends to my favorite club in AZ during spring training. I've been to more than one club with my boss in several cities around the country. He knows I used to hit brothels in TJ and one time he called me with his boss and they wanted to go to TJ while in the area. Didn't happen but they were interested. I don't really share most details of my life with my family but that includes a lot more things than strip clubs. I really don't care if they found out but not going to advertise it.
• wallanon

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  4 years ago

  "I wonder how did you guys overcome this stigma and decided to do whatever you wanted?" Convenience. I was busier than busy, and strip clubs were there during hours I wasn't working in places where I had nothing else to do. Things didn't stay convenient, but that's a different post.
• shadowcat

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  4 years ago

  When my daughter was told by a co worker that Follies had shut down, she called me to make sue that I was OK.
• rickthevulture

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  4 years ago

  Stigma? We ricks have our own rick morality and don’t care what the average ape thinks. Squawk!!!
• rickthelion

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  4 years ago

  Testify my vulture bud... TESTIFY!!!! A rick caring what a non-rick thinks... I DON’T THINK SO!!! ROAR!!!
• rattdog

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  4 years ago

  long time ago i realized that it's not a good idea to have a couple of guys i've known for years to tag along. at the end of the club visit all i heard the rest of the way was, "oh damn you got the one of the best girls in the club" and "how come you got real dances and we got shitty ones?" wrt to a lot of guys in general, it's half in half that the word stigma should be displaced with the word jealousy.
• Dave_Anderson

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  4 years ago

  I'm Gen X, strip clubs were "cool" in my day. In fact most opposition was from a socially conservative rather than some feminazi or leftist view. I actually thought they were bad until my friend almost forced me to go to one when I was 18. One visit and I was hooked for life, lol. I don't tell people I go but I don't hide it either. Its not hard to find out if a friend is open to going, just casually bring up the subject and see how they respond. I can't comment on the younger Millennials and Z people. The older Millennuals I 've known generally are cool with clubs. Anyone under 25 to 30 today I have no clue about and don't really want to. Sad world they are inheriting is all I can say.
• Beat100

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  4 years ago

  @Dave_Anderson Maybe, I'm idealizng, however, when I see bands like Guns and Roses at stripclubs it seems like a fun time. While now with the millennials and gen Z there are all these weird movements from incels to mgtow that are obsessed with getting validation from women more so than sex. Truly two generations which should be forgotten.
• rattdog

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  4 years ago

  incels=psychottic entitled simps. they have absolutely nothing going on for them. MGTOW guys are at least working their way to self-improvement and will engage in the pump and dump if they so choose. they realize the risks of committed relationships with women are many, and far outweigh the benefits. they feel that women can only bring them down with them. if you think about it can you blame these guys for feeling this way?