Being in the conversation with non-PLs
nicespice
That club is a place where thereās no VIP rooms and dances are monitored and no-touch rules are enforced. Unless maybe he was referring to the drug usage there? That club has a rep for coke usage, but idk how blatant it is there.
What experiences had you had when hearing about strip clubs mentioned in daily life? Do you partake or avoid it completely?
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idea what we are talking about but if nekkid titties are involved then itās all good.
But to answer your question I have occasionally heard some of the younger guys in the office discussing their trips to some clubs around here. Since I have not been to any of those clubs I just listened from afar. Of course I kind of laughed on the inside cause if those clubs were offering what some of them said Iām pretty sure those clubs would have a lot more favorable reviews on here.
Oh that's great, gob. Guys, we have to come up with a new secret thing, gobstopper is telling our secrets to, like, anyone
Also agree with gobstopper.... some people will either embelish to seem cool where as others will down play so it doesn't sound too "taboo".
A side story that is kind of along these lines. I had a friend tell me about a massage he got. He was all "excited" saying he stripped down to his boxers. I didn't have the heart to tell him when I get a massage I am butt ass naked and hope to get some "extra" activities. But again the massage places I go are not the same one he think about going... LOL
I've also heard that some guys are even deceitful enough to lie and exaggerate to make themselves look cooler and more macho around beautiful women as well.
I would have smiled and given non-committal responses. I don't talk about it with anyone in the workplace. for that matter, with rare exceptions, I don't talk about it in any other setting either.
What happens in strip club land, including the hotel near the club, stays in strip club land.
But there was one time (about three years ago) I was having breakfast at a brunch restaurant in a very nice neighborhood. When they get really busy, they have communal tables open where people can sit and eat, but they'd be sharing the table with strangers. That's where I sat and ate.
A middle-aged couple decided to sit across from me and they were very chatty and charismatic. The topic came up on what I did for work, and I sort of fibbed and said that I was a cocktail waitress at the Doll House. The woman perks up and says that a family friend of hers dances at Wackos and how stupid it's been that they've been getting raided all the time, and how it's lame that adult entertainment is so strictly regulated in Jax... I was not expecting this random couple to be so open minded on the subject. We kept talking and it went from strippers to medical marijuana until I finished my meal and wished them well. I never said that I danced or had a BIG interest in clubs, but it was oddly satisfying hearing their opinions on the scene.
I suppose, but plenty of dudes have done that if you go by what gets said around here. Happens all the time...even when the clubs are closed. lol
Some ask my advice about which clubs to visit for a bachelor or birthday party.
A few of guys live vicarously through me and would ask me about my TJ trips.
There was one time though where somebody made a comment that heavily implied they actually do know about local clubs - it took all my strength to not inquire further and see if he wants to join up sometime!
The situation you described the behavior/incident/conversation, constitute sexual harassment in the workplace.
You should have said to him:
āThat kind of conversation is inappropriate in the workplace. It makes me uncomfortable. Please stop doing it, and I will inform humans resources to make sure you donāt do it in the future.ā
To answer your questions:
What experiences had you had when hearing about strip clubs mentioned in daily life?
None, I work in a professional environment, were everyone is educated about sexual harassment and the consequences.
Do you partake or avoid it completely?
If someone were to bring the subject of Strip Clubs at work, I would be my duty to immediately let the person know that they are doing/saying something inappropriate at work and would ask them to stop and will report the incident to the Human Resources department to have it on record.
I only talk about it to my neighbor, who I've taken on a few crazy escapades...
Where we took out 2 dancers....wined and dined them....went to some bars...then ended up in the girls hotel room and making amateur porn.
No, I work for some real leave it to beavers...They couldn't comprehend or dream of the shit that I've done...and if one of them has, he probably wouldn't mention it either.
The only way I would probably find out was if I accidentally met one of the guys from work with a girl doing some OTC shit or ITC activities.
The situation you described the behavior/incident/conversation, constitute sexual harassment in the workplace. ā
It may have technically been inappropriate. Buuut:
1) it was a general group conversation. Not one-on-one
2) There was also, at a different point in time, a group conversation about taking hallucinogens. I think thereās a different mindset going on here LOL
3) If Iām not getting directly hit on, then I donāt care. Iāll save the complaints for having an actual problem.
4) I noticed Ricky used quotations when referring to me as a female. I think heās still mad that my dick is bigger than his. š
I see a nice range of responses. Some are much more open than others š
It doesn't matter. Somethings are not appropriate for work conversations, especially in purportedly mixed company. ;)
Really? I could respect not partaking in the conversation but to rat out your workmates...WOW
Real dick move bro.
āUnder the UC Policy on Sexual Violence and Sexual Harassment Reporting, employees are obligated to report sexual harassment and sexual violence to the Title IX Director.ā
We have to be responsible and are morally obligated to protect students and staff.
Strip clubs cheating etc, comes up alot in the divorce business and everyone knows I go slot and know no details, same as all y'all.
What if it didnāt make her uncomfortable you fucking idiot.
I did have one experience where I was with a group and they spontaneously detoured to a club where I do go frequently and VIP. Luckily these guys night out trips are night shift and I am a day shift guy. But there were two dancers working night shift that I had taken to VIP in the past. They both picked up on the fact that i was with a group of guys and pretended not to know me. My friends were amazed that I seemed to get better dances than they did.
To the dancers here, do protect a PL's history with you if he suddenly shows up with a group? Assuming the guy is not an asshole where you gleefully out him.
If I face any direct questions like - have you been to a strip club? I simply say - Iāve been for a few bachelor parties - and itās just not my type of place.
99.9% of the time when a PL that usually comes alone brings a friend or several, they have already spoken of me to their friends so that there are no surprises or awkwardness.
But, I donāt know anything about strip clubs. Iāve accompanied friends for bachelor parties. Itās just a little too wild in those places for me.
Are you getting angry at the comments that represents your conscience instead of accepting that guilt?
@prevert
The OP, @nicespice, clearly said: āI wanted no part of that discussion.ā and has the duty, not, the privilege to put that person in his place by saying:
āThat kind of conversation is inappropriate in the workplace. It makes me uncomfortable. Please stop doing it, and I will inform humans resources to make sure you donāt do it in the future.ā
I believe that being ethical means you will do the right thing regardless of whether there are possible consequencesāyou treat other people well and behave morally for its own sake, not because you are afraid of the possible consequences.
Simply put, people do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
I also don't bother to talk about it much in public because not many people believe you can touch (so I never go into extras either).
You said:
āIt may have technically been inappropriateā
Again, you have the moral responsibility and the privilege to put āyour bossā in his place, for yourself and any other woman, that might have to deal with him.
What would you have done if you mother or young sister, nice, daughter etc was present?
You are not supposed to be so blind with denial, fear of āaccidentally out yourselfā, that you can't face reality.
Wrong is wrong, no matter when, where or who does it or says it."
Lucky for him, but the next girl he runs his mouth in front of may feel differently.
@skibum609
You are not to be so blind with guilt, denial, racism, and use omertĆ as an excuse, that you can't face reality.
Wrong is wrong, no matter when, where or who does it or says it."
āSpeak out, but speak out with love and decency and firmness, not with hatred and contempt for our fellow humans.ā
Back on topic, I only discussed SCing with one fellow at work (before I retired), and with one brother. (And I'm open with my wife) Even then, nothing really specific or detailed. Wouldn't bring it up in a group at work, wouldn't be prudent. Wish I had a guy friend to discuss it with, would be fun.
What else is the internet for? :D
Porn?!!
To answer your question:
What else is the internet for? :D
āFor people like ourselves to whine incessantly about menial issuesā
ā Benjamin Franklin
āThe greatest thing about the internet is that you can quote something and just totally make up the source.ā
ā Thomas Jefferson
:D
I also have a lot of people say they just go to SCs unseriously or for shits and giggles and ask "why would anyone spend any money there.". When I say I like it since it is entertainment and one of the few chances I get to interact with many different beautiful women they say ,"Just go get yourself a gf.". But like have they ever tried doing that? SCs take away a lot of the BS and keep things up front. I rather like that than having to deal with flakiness and having to worry about knowing what to say. BUT, admittedly, I have huge confidence issues I ain't solving anytime soon.
And all of em are here on TUSCL, so it may seem every guy on earth visits SC like a grocery store.
Majority of adults have been in a SC 3-4 times in their lifetime. First one at 21, next one at best friends Bachelor party and a couple more - divorce party, etc.
Just seeing naked topless dancer is "wild" experience. Touching or being smothered by boobs - a forbidden experience the guy dare not talk!
Hanging around TUSCL threads, the term "wild" can only imply happy ending.
In fairness, TUSCL is also friendly and supportive of Sex Industry, SCs and dancers - and sees them as regular people doing a job.
I discuss my strip club/TJ adventures will female coworkers too, I just tell too many details and they share their dating/clubbing experiences with me, it is called communication not harassment.
Harassment in the workplace is a serious issue but seriously why do I have to hear "sick and vommiting kid" stories and not be grossed out or offended, our world is too sensitive.