Hypocrisy when dealing with strippers vs. "normal" girls?
rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
But if I met the same girl in the same situation in a strip club instead of my church, my head would be in a completely different place. I would make sure she understood that I'm not running a charity, but that she could earn it the old fashioned way.
The hypocrisy of this is amazing. The simple difference in where I meet her dictates how I treat her. Anyone else ever ponder the difference between how he views people in a strip club setting vs. a normal venue?
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And that conundrum also affects dancers! I've met dancers who are practicing Catholics, Methodists, and even a Baptist and a Muslim.
It is the second biggest reason that I don't go looking for sex. However, that doesn't mean that I would be invulnerable to the charms of a very few dancers if they were to ask me,....🙄
Church social context is about ethics (or the illusion thereof), and has a very strong social bonding component built around honesty and caring (or the illusion thereof). This is your tribe.
From the moment you walk into a strip club, the atmosphere is more about how everyone can get over on you. From parking fees to overpriced fake dancer drinks to the DJ cutting off songs so there's really no such thing as a 2-for-1, to strippers running myriad hustles on customers (and vice versa), this is not your tribe. This is a group of people who have something you want, and if you let them, will trick you into giving them all your money without letting you have it -- and, of course, vice versa.
Anyway, of course you're going to treat someone of your tribe differently than someone who is from a group that is known to use manipulation of feelings and sympathy to get help.
-->"What if you saw a girl from the club in church?"
I don't go to church, but even if I did, I don't need to meet a stripper in church to treat her differently. Once I get an ATF and we transition to something more like an arrangement, I treat her with an arrangement''s looser exchanges (as long as she treats me the same).
Rick likes to keep the stripper/client relationship more strict, so he never gets to this point, and the difference between church girl and stripper remains farther apart
Not sure if this was directed at me or Rick, but I'll answer for me.
If I saw a girl I knew from a strip club, I would greet her like any other person seeking Christ with us. The only change that I would make would be to tell her that her secret would be safe with me.
A banner that has been placed on our front steps says "All are welcome. No exceptions!" We mean it.
Being judgmental of sex workers is not very Christ-like.
@ATACdawg has the right idea.
Pretty sure Satan is the exception.
The work that strippers do is not easy work. I see no reason why others might look down on them.
Years ago, I was attending mass for a special occasion - and I recognized a dancer in the congregation. I had gotten some excellent private room dances from her. We were not seated close to each other, so we didn’t have any interaction during mass, but I was able to say hello after mass. It was no different than any other friendly hello.
As it is often said - those of us with sins are in need of church and mass and the healing we receive there. If someone thinks church is a place for only those who are free of sin - they are wrong.
If it was a girl from the club AND she was asking the church for help, I would never be able to lay a finger on her again. If it was just a girl who was attending services in our congregation, I have no clue besides keeping my mouth shut. I guess I'll figure it out if it ever happens, but fortunately I club far enough away from home and live in the type of community where the odds of this happening are very low.
Subraman, social context is not supposed to matter to the faithful. Everyone, from sinner to saint to heathen to stranger, is supposed to be worthy of the same human dignity and decency.
Let me make this more real. Let's say I'm in a club and learn that a dancer just moved herself and her two kids temporarily into a motel while she tries to get her situation more grounded. If she were a member of our congregation in the same boat and we learned of her situation, there would probably be a collection for her and members with ties to housing and employment services would be trying to help her in other ways. But when I meet her in a strip club, my immediate reaction is "hot girl with cash needs - ding ding ding."
Idk. Lately I've been having more trouble reconciling this. I'm guessing that this will pass, but it's something I'm chewing on at the moment.
Insofar as the church-going faithful are concerned, the answer is simple. You're sinning and you should stop.
Granted, the answer is simple. The execution of that answer is not. I get that.
I don't treat dancers like disposable humans in or out of the club. I truly like the dancers that I see regularly. That said, the problem outside of the club (for the dancer and customer) is public scrutiny and shaming.
One of the few things that dancers and customers have in common is that almost everyone outside of club culture thinks we're horrible.
VH, if you haven't tried OTC, you're missing out on one of the most fun aspects of SCing. If you've decided that OTC isn't for you, I respect that decision. But stripper-client relationship is not limited to the club by any stretch of the imagination, nor is there any ethical or other imperative that it should be that way. OTC FTW :)
I wasn't reacting to your "greeting in public thing". I'm with you -- don't greet or acknowledge her, you have no idea who is around her (and she has no idea who is around you). Even an OTC girl, if I just happened to run into her not as part of an OTC, I'd ignore her unless she said hi first. Let's not fuck up each others' lives, is a good rule to live by
Your statement about stripper/customer relationships belonging in the club only was a bit overly broad. But I agree not to greet a stripper in public during a casual run-in.
I'm afraid that your understanding of Christianity is not very deep.
Or compartmentalizing
Or whatever
And I mean no judgementalness
But I think religion offers more opportunities for the above
Good stuff VH. This silly naiveté of this comment made me chuckle a few times.
Forget strip clubs for a second. Would you not be more generous to a congregation member that fell on hard times, than say a waitress at the local restaurant you heard the same about? I think it just goes to supporting your community. A lot of people feel they have "church family", it is the rare PL that feels they have "club family".
See, I don't think chit-chatting with strippers or escorts in public is weird or inappropriate -- that feels like a personal hangup you have, that you shouldn't project on the rest of us. My one and only concern about a random run-in with a stripper is discretion -- maybe her mom or sister or boyfriend are right around the corner, where I can't see them, and she doesn't want to mix her worlds. For discretion reasons, I wouldn't acknowledge a stripper -- not even a wave, which is indiscreet and could get her in trouble. But if she greets me and indicates it's okay, fuck yes, hugs and chit chat all around. Weird and inappropriate not to -- I mean, you just had sex, and she's a real person not some sex doll, of course you treat her like a person and talk.
Just an alternative view
Sure I would probably get more involved if it was a church member as opposed to a stranger. But I would still never dream of leveraging the waitress' situation in order to obtain sex or even accept it if she offered. My shame would be too great. But somehow once she puts on those heels and dances on a pole, she becomes fair game in my mind. Hence this thread exploring the potential hypocrisy.
SJG
The Yardbirds - Live Anderson Theatre 1968 N.York (Full Album)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9ULMxxl…
Using all of the possible leverage you can with a stripper is just good sense. She may think you’re being an asshole for pushing things, but you get laid and she gets paid. So its all good.
On the other hand, some church lady - even if she is a super sexy hairless ape - is not selling sex in any way shape or form. So you feel pushing her into that life would involve being 100% dickish. We’ve already established that being 100% a dick is not rickish. Hence your discomfort.
We carried on our ways after, and no harm was done.
I still dipped my dick in Listerine after - to kill any germs I may have contacted when blessing my balls with holy water.
Don't worry SJG, they aren't terribly clever anyway. Sadly, the odds of the Rick Animals actually producing a subtly clever barb are about the same as the odds of a retarded child reinventing quantum theory - not very high. 😉
Also, I'm sure this will pass, so soon enough the Rick Animals will have more fodder for their poor attempts at comedy.
Let’s face it, mongooses can be asshole. It comes with the predator gig. Amiright or amiright? But RTT isn’t going to hurt his adopted family. After all, mongoose love is a beautiful thing.
Likewise, RTT would never go randomly attacking cobras that stay mellow and keep to themselves. I mean really, cobras may not be in your family but cobras gotta make a living too. Just randomly attacking innocent cobras is 100% dickish.
But when those cobras threaten his adopted family he opens a rickish can of whoopass on those cobra assholes. If a cobra acts like a dick it is gonna get Rikkied, Tikkied, and Tavied, if you know what I mean.
You consider the congregation your family. So it would be dickish to pay some down on her luck churchgoer to suck your cock. Totally understandable.
Fortunately, you know the true ricks. Hell, you even gave a subtle clue. But stay cool. I’m still working on my rederivation of Bell’s inequalities using Calabi-Yau manifolds. It is going to revolutionize our understanding of the universe. Trust me. ROAR!!!
Ricky, you need to cum in for confessions soon
SJG
In a strip club, I'd have a reasonable expectation of privacy with regard to what is going on. A stripper (or at least one that *I* am likely to choose, is almost certainly going to keep quiet. She probably doesn't want it generally known what she does, and maybe even want to hide from the other girls how to win my money.
In a church or other social setting, it seems to me that that someone who offers such a deal is way too likely to blab or have the kind of regret that leads to tearful "confessions" to friends or family, at which point it's no longer private.
Since there isn't anything wrong with what I'm doing, I wouldn't have a problem with the trade itself.
The very next Thursday, I quit the church choir... 😉
I'm actually the most weary of religious people and their intentions... Not a fan of proselytizing.
TL:DR don't play hero when someone more accomplished can do it for you.