what makes a good customer.

47 comments

• FishHawk

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  5 years ago

  I’ll bring you nachos. 😜
• SirLapdancealot

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  5 years ago

  @poledancer here's my list and would love your thoughts on it. 1) have good hygiene 2) stay positive and friendly 3) don't be a whiny or passive-aggressive little bitch 4) shower your stripper with compliments 5) try to agree with everything she's saying 6) if a stripper is alone on stage, go up and put a tip down 7) tip the bartender well 8) don't waste the time of a stripper you are clearly not interested in by politely telling her you're not interested in any dances or company; walk away if she's persistent 9) give your stripper a good massage; start on her back or neck and then if she wants more, keep going with it until she's melted and sitting on your lap 10) in a dance, respect her limits; don't ever try to push them more than once 11) keep your body fluids to yourself; unless explicitly approved, don't get any of yours on her 12) tip and reward her good behavior
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  I guess this is the dancer version of The System
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  "...Be the doctor or nasa scientist or something that makes it worth my while to talk to you ..." Us TUSCLers are all Chemical Engineers
• FishHawk

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  5 years ago

  Chemical Engineers that have found the cure for the common cold. As soon as the patent comes through we will all be millionaires
• SirLapdancealot

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  5 years ago

  13) be a chemical engineer in real life
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  Front room generosity and respectfulness. Front room come on and makeout session. Back room FS, then taking girl home with you to continue. Generosity throughout. Continue to see her regularly. Introduce her to your other friends. SJG
• nicespice

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  5 years ago

  ^If you visit me at the club ever again, wear a suit. Actually, that would be freaking hilarious at the Golden Dragon. 😂
• rickdugan

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  5 years ago

  ===> "Us TUSCLers are all Chemical Engineers" I had to switch careers years ago after all you fuckers stole it and over-used the shit out of it. Now it's like a dancer telling us she's "in school." So now I'm a Biophysicist. 😉
• GoVikings

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  5 years ago

  pokedancer, do you have any regulars? If you do...do you consider them good customers?
• SirLapdancealot

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  5 years ago

  "^If you visit me at the club ever again, wear a suit. Actually, that would be freaking hilarious at the Golden Dragon." @nicespice I'm open to a reunion with you for sure. But a suit cramps my PL style, and I can't give a massage nearly as well with one on. LOL if our next reunion is at the Golden Dragon at best I'll wear a tuxedo t-shirt for you. 😂
• JuiceBox69

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  5 years ago

  Tips to being a good customer in the club 1. Wash your ass 2. Be positive 3. Bring lots of money like $500 at minimum
• twentyfive

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  5 years ago

  Is it ok if I pretend to be a marine biologist ? [view link]
• Huntsman

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  5 years ago

  I almost graduated from the third grade. Does that work?
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  Tell her you're an A.I.R - "Artificial Intelligence Researcher" - she'll be impressed w/ the acronym alone
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  Don't cum on her hair in VIP - apparently they don't like that
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  I often go with "I'm a freelance gynecologist" - let me know if I can be of service
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  I'm more direct, but still tactful, when setting up DATY. In amps, or in a more ideal free flowing strip club, it just happens, no discussion necessary. SJG Rod Stewart ft. Ron Wood - Maggie May / Gasoline Alley [view link]
• Cashman1234

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  5 years ago

  I'm curious now - as PD mentioned bringing food. I'm sure each dancer has some snack she loves - or am I misreading her and she's referring to some type of edibles? I'm a bit old - and I'm not up on the lingo you young panty droppers use these days! I always bring a bottle of astroglide, rubber gloves and rope. I must be looking for a different type of dancer...
• Cashman1234

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  5 years ago

  I'm glad SJG offered his insights! His strip club experience isn't clouded with delusions...
• Nidan111

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  5 years ago

  Lol. I had the hot bartender pay me to go get her some food. Trusted me with her money. The damndest part was that I told the bartender and the dancer that was hanging on me that I had to leave for a bit to get a bite to eat ... but I told them that because I was bored and just wanted to leave. Lol. So, I took her money, went to Taco Bell and got her what she desired. Best part is that when I returned, there was finally some fun to be had and fun I did have! Generally, I just tell the gals that I am a special kind of drug dealer. For some reason, they gets them all intrigued. Then I Tell them about my days as a martial arts instructor/competitor. I then challenge them to a competition as to which of us can do the splits better. After that, we go VIP. Money talks, but a little bullshit banter makes my night more enjoyable. I think they tend to enjoy it as well... or at least they pretend to and that is all I need for my fantasy fun night!
• georgmicrodong

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  5 years ago

  @poledancer: "what makes a good customer." Why, *I* do, of course! :)
• Bavarian

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  5 years ago

  Be able to have and maintain an erection so the dancer has something to work with. I’m slacking I’m this department 😔
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  ^^^^^ good post! SJG
• jsully63

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  5 years ago

  When I see my ATF I bring her a pack of Marlboros , my vape pen with her preferred strain of THC and if she’s hungry pay the food delivery guy
• Uprightcitizen

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  5 years ago

  It can work in reverse on the whole food thing. I brought a couple pizzas once to a girl on the club and they kicked her out for making a mess in the dressing room :(
• rh48hr

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  5 years ago

  I tell them I'm an architect. I go by the name of Art Vandelay. I designed the new wing on the Guggenheim. And it wasn't that difficult.
• wallanon

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  5 years ago

  It took two posts for a dude to try and make the conversation about him. C'mon man!
• wallanon

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  5 years ago

  Poledancer didn't have being a good listener on her list for being a good customer. To think of all the time I could've saved...
• SirLapdancealot

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  5 years ago

  @wallanon it's called having a discussion per the thread topic. I'm a strip club customer and I'm contributing to the thread as such. Cmon man. Stay on topic!
• Mate27

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  5 years ago

  Yo daddy!
• elmer

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  5 years ago

  rh48rh "I tell them I'm an architect. I go by the name of Art Vandelay. I designed the new wing on the Guggenheim. And it wasn't that difficult" George? George is that really you?
• Dolfan

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  5 years ago

  "Well first things first its about the money" ... "dont treat me like a 2nd rate person because of what i do for work" ^ This always gets me. I have nothing against stripping as an occupation, I'm not going to treat someone as "2nd rate" because of what they do for work. However, if a dancer treats me like an object I'm gonna treat her like a object. If you don't want to be treated that way,flip the two around; make it about treating each other like a person first, then about money. I prefer it that way myself, but it doesn't always work out.
• FishHawk

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  5 years ago

  OK, serious comment. I am an old dude. I have almost zero sex appeal to a 20 something, beautiful sexy girl. I don’t mind it that I need money to level the playing field. OK now that the field is level, I treat the dancer like a person and expect to be treated like a person. Everybody likes to be complimented, I tell the dancer she is beautiful, she tells me I am wearing a nice shirt, etc. Actually, they almost always tell me my mustache is awesome. Learn the art of small talk, you don’t have to be a Rocket Scientist, but there must be something in your life that is interesting.
• SirLapdancealot

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  5 years ago

  @FishHawk I agree. I like to stay in the fantasy when it comes to talk. Keep it light and flirty with each other. If it goes on a tangent onto something we both have in common, that is fine too. Also there's no need to talk continuously. When I'm giving a massage I don't mind if there's no conversation. In fact at times I'd rather just hear her moan with the pleasure of it and feel her body language.
• Subraman

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  5 years ago

  poledancer: question back to you: what is the benefit of being a good customer, vs not? e.g., one guy brings you lunch, and has an interesting story, and $200 to spend on you. I don't bring you lunch, tell you that you look like my daughter, and drone on about the boring minutiae of my life, and I also have $200 to spend on you. Does Mr Fun-Interesting's $200 buy him any more than my $200 does? Just good feelings from you? More eye contact? A free LDK? A more sensual dance in general?
• IceyLoco

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  5 years ago

  It's all about money
• JimGassagain

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  5 years ago

  Most dancers stare at my belly, and I have to remind them “eyes up here!” They know the bigger the belly means the customer is living life well with an even bigger wallet!
• Muddy

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  5 years ago

  I don't want to get too carried away with being a good customer here. Yes I'm clean, smell nice, friendly and respectful all that. I do push the boundries on dances a lot make that all the time but what the fuck I'm trying to have fun here. But dancers get carried away and think when you walk in the door your wallet belongs to them. No. I'm not spending more money so when I walk away the dancers think that guy was a great customer, no. Could happen but that ain't the goal, the goal is Me, Myself and I. <- Because only those three are putting in work for my money. The goal is to have fun, not be the model customer.
• wallanon

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  5 years ago

  Dolfan brought the whup. Then Subra had to go and get all intellectual. I have a secret I'd like to share with all of you. I like strippers. Genuinely like them. Some would be amazed how much easier things work if they'd just appreciate their company and go with the flow. Does that make me a good customer? Don't know. But I think it helps avoid being a bad one.
• gammanu95

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  5 years ago

  Dancers should he happy of a customer has a pulse and cash. Only one of those is an actual requirement.
• Hank Moody

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  5 years ago

  Agree with Gamma. The only requirement is money. Everything else mentioned is a nice fringe benefit but not a requirement. In fact, you could be the nicest smelling, best looking, best food bringing, most interesting etc etc etc and you still need money. Money. You can’t be a ‘customer’ without money. You’re just a guy with a lot of other stuff.
• ancientlurker

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  5 years ago

  > Have a story. .. Make it up if you cant have a real one. Women like to be lied to. Got it.
• Nidan111

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  5 years ago

  @gamma. “Only one of those is an actual requirement” Sort of. Actually both would be initially require. A pulse would at least be initially required to move his fat money wad back into the VIP. After the physical transfer of the money into the darkness, then the pulse becomes optional.
• Jascoi

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  5 years ago

  i'm still trying to figure it all out. but what seems to work for me fairly well is a gentle touch.
• FishHawk

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  5 years ago

  I generally tell stories that are reasonably close to the truth. When you haves lived as long and as full life as I have you have shit to talk about.
• boomer79

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  5 years ago

  I don’t think a dancer needs to be into you but having them be comfortable goes a long way. This mainly means not being creepy, being polite, and being clean. If you are good with conversation they might hang out with you more. Then there is money. That has to be right. I also think that if they see you as a regular or potential regular you’ll get more for your money.