What on Earth does a young, beautiful, professional woman see in the older male?

avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
Somewhere in MO.
I met my current wife when I was 42 years old. She was 22 years old, making $105,000 per year and engaged to her fiancé to be married within 4 months. I started training her in her new profession. We went to a few beer drinking sessions after work with other colleagues. She began flirting with me and before I knew it, her wedding was called off and we became a fantastic unit together. Hell, she even enjoys strip clubs with me from time to time. We have been together for 15 years now and it feels like just yesterday. I even tried to discourage her from hooking up with me due to our age difference. She told me that she enjoyed the “maturity difference” that I brought to the relationship. Hell, I thought i was just a workaholic. Apparently, guys her age were not attractive in her mind due to their maturity level (whatever that means). I frequently ask myself how I got so lucky to land a beautiful woman who did not need me for anything other than companionship. She makes very good money, has a fantastic personality, enjoys life and our time together. Is this common or did I just hit the jackpot in luck at that point in time?

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avatar for Mate27
Mate27
5 years ago
Funny how my wife made that much money too when I met her. Once our family started she couldnt keep up that pace of income, but at least we were able to save big time before the family came.

Our age gap is less than half yours is, but I think knowing that we both had our shit together was a real big turn on for her. She could settle down with no drama, secure in the fact she knew she was getting some good meat to fry in the pan every night at home. Plus, we have the same values and interests, a compatible background. Sex is a luxury once you work and raise a family, but knowing we can make time to knock our boots off whenever we want to is a huge positive in keeping things mentally fresh.

I look at my younger self chasing tail, and I laugh at how ridiculous I was wasting all that energy. I’ll take married life over bitches and how’s any day.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
5 years ago
^^^ over bitches and hoes
avatar for Icey
Icey
5 years ago
But whats the point of married life when you're out wasting money that could be used on your family, on hookers?
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
5 years ago
Jackpot
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
It is not common. Good on you.
avatar for BrotherFogHorn
BrotherFogHorn
5 years ago
You a rightous dude nidan
avatar for BrotherFogHorn
BrotherFogHorn
5 years ago
Bless you
avatar for Timbuck12
Timbuck12
5 years ago
When I hit my 40’s it was an eye-opener to me at how women would throw themselves at men 20+ years older than they were. Civilians, strippers, it didn’t matter. I think it’s a combo of mature confidence and life-success that attracts them.
avatar for chowder
chowder
5 years ago
Women mature faster than men. And they see what the mindset of an early 20's male is, and it is usually not one that is attractive as household provider. It is basic biology.

avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
5 years ago
Hypergamy. Any other answer is BS. You offered more security and resources than her fiance and she instinctively knew it. It's just the way it is.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
5 years ago
It's also a character and maturity thing, in my opinion.

SJG
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
5 years ago
Well, whatever the reason, I’m one lucky mother fucker!!!
avatar for Kajohnston
Kajohnston
5 years ago
@Nidan111

Confidence & resources...you’re a lucky man :)
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
5 years ago
Mostly, it's the bulge in our pants next to the little head.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
5 years ago
1. Your particular energy levels are not typical. With all your martial arts stuff and whatnot. Plus you said you were still able to do the splits?

2. Some females naturally prefer older men. Me included.

Note: And before some smart ass chimes in, no not necessarily as a sugar daddy thing.

My EX BF (before he left me for a pack of hombres) was nine years older than me. And it was not a sugar arrangement. And I had harder limits that most on even certain things mileage wise, no matter how much $ I was turning down, for the sake of what was agreed to be acceptable.
——
So I can visualize this being a thing.
avatar for pistola
pistola
5 years ago
Nothing wrong with girls with daddy issues, makes the world go round.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
5 years ago
Often women, no matter what else they have, they just want to be married.

SJG

Rhapsody In Blue: Gershwin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynEOo28l…
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
5 years ago
@gammamanu95. Lol. As I said, she needs none of my money. She makes her own 6 figure income and pays most of the bills. She is a great partner for sure. She does like to gravitate towards the older males when we go out and play together. So, I guess that is her desire. It is fun to tell our friends that I am 3 months older than her parents. Interesting discussions from that.
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
5 years ago
@nicespice. Yes, I am still quite capable of doing the splits. Dancers will frequently make me get up on stage and prove it. Dudes throw me dollar bills which I pass along to the dancer that challenges me.
avatar for MackTruck
MackTruck
5 years ago
You go Nidan !
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
5 years ago
Hmm, well there’s is the theory that women with older fathers skew older in their preferences too.
https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-ad…
And my dad is 39 years older than me, so there is that.

The other two reasons listed could be a factor as well.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
5 years ago
If point #3 in the article I linked applies to Nidian’s wife at all, then it certainly has worked out well for her with a thread like this made. 😁

“A man is only as young as the
woman he feels, but a woman is only as young as a man sees her to be.

So if a woman believes her value decreases as she ages, she might be attracted to the older man who will see her as perpetually younger and, thus, more attractive.”
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
5 years ago
When my first wife (5 years older than I) got pissed off at me for watching the Playboy channel, she made me go to counseling to fix our marriage. Hell, I didn’t even know the marriage was broken until then. Anyway, during one of the “counseling sessions” the topic of younger girls wanting to hook up with older guys somehow came up. The counselor basically warned me of the dangers of me going out to play pool in bars without my wife due to the younger women at said places. My wife (at that time, now ex) laughed and stated that no young girls are going to want to flirt around with a 42 year old man. The counselor stopped her and EMPHATICALLY corrected her poor assumption. Even I was surprised at his comment. He stated, “ oh, dear, they VERY MUCH DO enjoy the older man!” At that moment, I realized that I had a future even though the current marriage was finished.

So, @ Heaving, if you are at least 28 years old, you have a fighting chance for a young hottie. If you are 38 years old, even better. When you get to be middle aged.... BINGO! Any younger than 28 May land you in the jail or the hospital (from a pissed off dad).
avatar for JAprufrock
JAprufrock
5 years ago
@Nidan111
"When my first wife (5 years older than I) got pissed off at me for watching the Playboy channel, she made me go to counseling to fix our marriage."

WTF? Is she for real?

"My wife (at that time, now ex) laughed and stated that no young girls are going to want to flirt around with a 42 year old man."

I generally wouldn't celebrate a broken marriage because I'll probably never get over mine, but shit, that bitch needed to be taken out with the trash and you obviously made the right call there.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
5 years ago
Nidan, my opinion of why you two work is different that those of the others here. After 37 years of family law practice; a 30 year relationship with my wife that remains awesome and life experience tells me that relationships that are good and last are based on an initial, natural and uncontrollable attraction whcih remains strong because both people know they have something special and therefore have the INTENT it remain good. You two clicked, realized it was good and set out to keep it that way.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
5 years ago
^^^ Wow! Sounds like solid advice skibum609
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
5 years ago
@skibum. I think you are spot on!
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