Why do Dancers ignore you?

60 comments

• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Are you black? Where the dancers white?
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  You don't think the girls are going to avoid the guy who yells "God is good!!!" when they approach, you weirdo?
• rane1234

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  6 years ago

  I get ignored on occasion but always eventually get approached. Age and race is a factor.
• Jascoi

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  6 years ago

  agree.
• chessmaster

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  6 years ago

  Yeah age and race definitely play a factor. It's annoying at first but you get over it. I have been blatantly, and actively avoided(i mean literally some have gone out of their way to avoid me), not sure if its because im black or young(er). Possibly both for some strippers. The good news is most of them lose that attitude when you approach them(assuming you have money to spend because that is why they are there). What i do now is as papi chulo would say, "you have to be proactive". I let a dancer know i am interested in dances and now the ball is in their court, so to speak. A minute number of strippers still blow me off/ignore me afterwards but most take the invitation immediately or later at some point. The ones that dont aren't worth pursuing. After the first time making it known i am interested in spending money on them i shouldn't have to chase them. And i dont. Too many others that will ignore the stereotype and give me what i want.
• DandyDan

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  6 years ago

  For some of them, it's because they ignore everyone. Also, at some clubs, you are expected to go up to them. I don't know why that should be, but it is.
• rh48hr

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  6 years ago

  Chessmaster hit it on the head for me. I have been ignored plenty of times. It used to bother me, now IDGAF. If you are stupid enough to ignore me and not make money when you can see I'm spending, that's a YOU problem and all of the money issues you have I have no sympathy.
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  I got ignored a lot when I was in my twenties and I'm white Now that I'm almost forty I got bitches all over me
• Pyroxl

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  6 years ago

  In urban areas, proselytizers have a reputation for mental issues. I've also seen guys ask waitresses to invite a dancer over.
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  Tipping a waitress to bring over a dancer is a very effective move
• jackslash

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  6 years ago

  I get ignored sometimes. And I'm the strippers' preferred demographic: An old white guy with money.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  -->"Yeah age and race definitely play a factor. It's annoying at first but you get over it. I have been blatantly, and actively avoided(i mean literally some have gone out of their way to avoid me), not sure if its because im black " My group of friends is basically united nations, we have one black guy in the squad, but he's like angry wesley snipes black, not friendly sinbad or bryant gumbel black. It is definitely the case that (some) girls would avoid him, sometimes obviously. Once a girl came up to us, asked each of us in turn if we wanted a dance, and when she got to him, simply looked at him and then turned around and walked away. I tried to make him feel better by telling him that it's dark in there, and he's wearing dark clothes, so maybe he should smile or show his palms so she'd know there was somebody standing there, but I'm not sure if that made him feel better.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  ... you've already passed on being with several dancers as you sit there alone ... you're not actively tipping at the stage ... you're giving off a creepy vibe ... you have really bad B.O. ... the club is busy and other PLs are more aggressive than you ...strippers already know you are there for another stripper
• Jascoi

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  6 years ago

  oraCLE... next time say ‘oh... my... God...’ instead. (with a nice smile) as you run your fingers thru your combover.
• s275ironman

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  6 years ago

  I’ve been ignored before. It doesn’t happen to me very often, but it is annoying when it does happen. I’m not talking about just being ignored by the my top choice for the night. I am talking about being ignored by all the dancers in the club. So far, this has only happened to me once at the club I’ve been frequently going to. Solid advice given above. Next time, try a different approach because as others mentioned, your approach probably gave off a creepy vibe. An approach that works for me is a very simple one. If I see a dancer on stage that I like, I go up to the stage and tip her a $1. If she approaches me when she gets off stage, great. If not, it is no big deal as I usually find other dancers I’m interested in and it usually doesn’t take long for one to stop by my table if I go up to the stage and tip them.
• GoVikings

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  6 years ago

  i very recently had a beautiful cuban dancer completely ignore me. i tipped this girl 2 dollars on stage and then asked her if i could get a dance when she gets off stage and she said "ok" in a unenthused tone. when she got off stage, she never came around to ask me for a dance. at one point, she was sitting in the club right next to me, not dancing for anyone, and yet she still didn't come around and ask me for a dance. so in this case, it was very obvious that she wanted nothing to do with me. i don't give off a creepy vibe and i don't smell bad.......so i guess the reason she avoided me is because i'm black. i don't know what else it could be with all that being said, i don't feel like i've been avoided that much over the years. and i'll be honest, i'm not that good at being able to recognize if i'm being avoided, UNLESS the dancer makes it very obvious like the situation i explained above
• shadowcat

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  6 years ago

  I'm pretty sure that I some times get ignored because of my choice of clothes. Shorts and suggestive t-shirt. I think they know what is on my mind and want no part of it. This is fine with me as it weeds out the ones that I wouldn't want anyhow.
• lopaw

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  6 years ago

  As a female clubber I get ignored more than guys, but less than couples. But it doesn't happen nearly as often now as it used to. I agree with rh48hr's philosophy. It's their loss, not ours.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  Yep, age/race like others said. Or are you doing anything where you don’t “fit in?” Off the top of my head I remember a person who was writing in a journal, a guy who brought in his personal pot of tea to sip in the club (though he did tip me for sitting at his table), keep stacks of 1s blatantly at the table but not sitting by stage (even though a seat was open). In my experience dudes who like to stand out like that aren’t spenders.
• GoVikings

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  6 years ago

  lopaw, pinksugardoll (TUSCL member) said that dancers typically don't like female customers---because female customers act like the rules don't apply to them because they're the same gender as the dancers. and then evehartley, another TUSCLer who is a dancer, agreed with pinksugardoll about female customers. now lopaw.......i'm not saying that you act rude to the dancers when you go clubbing. i just found it very interesting that female customers were so bad. i always assumed female customers would be nicer/easier to get along with as opposed to guys. but according to pinksugardoll and eve hartley.........that's not the case
• Studme53

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  6 years ago

  It's mostly about money - they want to make a lot and some ignore guys who they don't consider big fish, especially during high earning times - e.g. thr, fri, sat nights
• IceyLoco

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  6 years ago

  This is interesting, I never thought about it much. I really don't care cos if I want to talk to a stripper I initiate it. The only strippers who don't ignore me are really young Latinas and Black ones. Light skinned Black girls are always all over me like crazy. If there's some kind of exotic girl working like an Armenian or something, they always gravitate towards me. But those are the types of women who tend to be attracted to be normally. Older women and white girls tend to ignore me a lot at strip clubs. I also hate it when bouncers and security keep staring at me.
• IceyLoco

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  6 years ago

  If I go to a club where a side bitch or my main bitch are at, I get treated like shit. None of the strippers will come near me.
• IceyLoco

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  6 years ago

  Except for one really hot light skinned girl, I think she's underage though but she slipped me her number last night. I donno if Ill call. Didnt get dances or anything.
• lopaw

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  6 years ago

  GoVikings, I have no idea who pinksugardoll and eve hartley are, so I guess I put them on ignore. Whoever they are, they can bitch and complain all they want about female customers, it don't matter to me. I know the type of customer I am and it's a shame that other women customers are rude or disrespectful. But does it surprise you that some of these broads stereotype customers? How many times have generous and respectful AA guys been ignored because of stereotyping? I think we've all been on the receiving end of that in clubs at one time or other. And as far as those who don't approach us - fuck 'em. They ain't worthy of our time or money anyway.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @lopaw do you think her sexual orientation influences whether or not she approaches you?
• chessmaster

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  6 years ago

  Yeah, strippers do stereotype and sometimes it backfires for them. I actually think from real life and sw Indians/middle easterners and women are worse than black guys. I hear the most complaints about indians but of course i wouldn't hear the complaints about blacks in real life unless i was ear hustling.
• lopaw

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  6 years ago

  SirLapdancealot, You'd think so, but no. Nine out of ten times the reason they don't approach me is due to shyness and their fear & uncertainty of how to approach a woman. I've had some dancers finally approach me on my 3rd or 4th visit to a club, and when I ask why it took them so long to come over they tell me that they were shy and intimidated. Go figure, lol.
• jackslash

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  6 years ago

  The only thing worse than strippers who ignore you is strippers who won't let you alone. It's always strippers who are not your type who keep sitting down on your lap and pestering you. Meanwhile, that busty blonde walks past without even a glance.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @lopaw understood but also that shyness and fear and uncertainty *may* be partially from her lack of sexual preference for women IRL. She doesn't know how to approach a woman because it is not a natural thing for her as it is with men.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  And yes when I am in the club with my wife we never get approached. If we want dances or to sit with strippers we go to the stage and tip them for the attention (which always goes more to my wife than me).
• lopaw

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  6 years ago

  SirLapdancealot maybe but like I said that reason seems to be in the minority, at least based on what I've been told by dancers. At the end of the day it's all about the mighty dollar, so most dancers approach customers that they aren't sexually attracted to, male or female. Hell, if they only approached people that they found sexually attractive we would all be sitting there alone, lol.
• GoVikings

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  6 years ago

  lopaw, you may or may not care, but this is the thread I was referring to about female customers [view link] And yeah lopaw, like you said, you can’t let the dancers who ignore customers get you down Although that Cuban girl ignored me, I still got dances from two other gorgeous Latinas that day and one of them gave me a wonderful BJ :-)
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  Yeah lopaw I am just speculating because I just don't understand why a woman looks like a less of a sale than a man. Maybe they don't relate to a woman customer because they would never be one. With a man they just take him for a typical man horn dog but with a woman they give her some mutual respect. LOL I still say you would be a fine mark if you mongered in Portland.
• lopaw

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  6 years ago

  Thanks GoVikings, but I have no interest in reading hate so I'll pass on reading that thread :) Good for you for finding dancers that got you what you wanted! I love it when a dancer walks by me and then I am approached by someone hotter who KMSO in VIP. Karma, baby! I
• Bbybunny

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  6 years ago

  If a guy doesn’t tip me on stage or if I smile and they look at me like I ate their cat then I assume they aren’t interested and keep it moving. I’ve had two guys come up to me and tell me they felt ignored but they didn’t tip me and avoided eye contact. We aren't mind readers.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  Also sexual orientation is tied to attraction. If I (a hetero male) was a dancer I would still rather give a dance to the ugliest woman in the club than a man no matter how good looking he was. I would never be gay for pay so I can't relate to those that would.
• lopaw

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  6 years ago

  @SirLapdancealot, I think most of us have given up a long time ago trying to figure out how dancers think. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure them out. I don't try anymore....I just take them to the back and enjoy their bodies, not caring too much about anything more than that.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @lopaw Agreed I just speculate on the boards and like to share thoughts. ITC I don't care what her motivation is as long as she is trying to sustainin my boner and she's hot as fuck. That said, once Mr. Happy is being taken care of, I do like to get in a strippers head and learn her motivations and methods to her madness. Information like that never hurt my mongering. But in the end, yes, it's all about sexual stimulation with me.
• georgmicrodong

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  6 years ago

  I’ve been ignored as well. There’s two girls at one of my favorite club who ignore me because I’m not black. They’ll approach virtually every black guy in the club, but none of the white guys. Even white guys who tip at the stage get short shrift. They’ll come over, take your money, and move on. But if you’re black, you’ll get all kinds of attention. It’s sometimes amusing the lengths to which they’ll go to avoid us honkies. :)
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  I have a somewhat different take on this, thinking that dancers ignore you is probably a result of a lot of guys thinking that strip clubs are like singles bars and they indicate by their body language, cues that keep some dancers a bit unwilling to approach. I have seen guys staring at strippers and when the girl finally notices them, they look away, I have seen guys reject girls too quickly because they didn’t know what to say, not saying that some guys don’t get ignored, but if you are too reticent to approach the girl you want she’ll likely get snapped up by someone like me as I’ll approach the ones that give me a good feeling, even if they’re busy with someone else. My current CF was sitting with someone else when I met her and I just asked her if she was ready to have a good time, three minutes later she was sitting with me and in the 4-5 visits to this club since she will stay with me from when I get there till I leave, and yes I have had a few great ones over the years, but I’d say that most of my most fun girls were approached by me and I like it that way.
• IceyLoco

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  6 years ago

  It doesn't matter though, just approach anyone you want. Its their work, she's not gona say no to your money.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^ palms forehead, oh gee an originalist!
• IceyLoco

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  6 years ago

  its not original its common sense lol
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^You’d be fucking surprised something I have said over and again how the fuck is a supposedly grown man intimidated by a chick in her underwear.
• IceyLoco

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  6 years ago

  yeah, there's nothing intimidating there. and especially in a strip club, you have the spending power, you dictate what goes on.
• rane1234

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  6 years ago

  Blanco don't get ignored in black clubs stop the madness micro
• stripfighter

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  6 years ago

  The best looking ones usually don't need to approach, it's always me approaching them. I don't even remember the last time I got a dance off a dancer approaching me. Never had an issue with this approach d/t race, age, etc.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  I started SCing somewhat regularly at age 30 when I moved to a new city - I first started going to somewhat upscale-ish clubs there were often fairly well-dressed middle-age men that looked like they had some $$$ to spend - in my 30s I did noticed I'd get passed-up more often for older guys particularly at the more upscale-ish clubs where there were more older well-dressed guys that gave off the vibe they had $$$ to spend (although I was making very-good $$$ at the time and also dressed nice I still got bypassed for the older silver-foxes). So there are various factors such as age, race, or the particular club - some clubs are more of a seller's market where dancers can afford to either not hustle much or be more picky - and sometimes dancers are not happy w/ current management and this affects their attitude at the club and their treatment of custies. Some guys also tend to be more serious and may give off an unfriendly vibe or may just look like the type that may not be easy to work with
• rickdugan

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  6 years ago

  I'm truly amazed that the girl avoided you after you yelled "God is good" at her. Truly. ;) As to the broader question, the number of reasons why any particular girl may ignore any particular guy are infinite, so worrying about it is pointless. If you have money in your pocket and show a willingness to spend it, you'll eventually get more than enough attention.
• georgmicrodong

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  6 years ago

  When they ignore me, it’s usually because they know how huge my cock is.
• GoVikings

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  6 years ago

  George lol
• orionsmith

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  6 years ago

  I've been ignored before too. Usually though it's very difficult. I have to sit still like a rock. Don't tip anyone. Don't make any sudden movements while dancers are watching. Stay in the shadows. If dancers are busy, it's easy to get ignored. Avoid eye contact. The effect is totally ruined if a dancer walks up and says hi cccc, my name that is.
• April9424

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  6 years ago

  I agree w being proactive you’d be surprised. I have bad eyesight and am shy plus it’s loud so I frequently get accused of being “bitchy” and “ignoring” guys when I didn’t mean to and guys tell me they’re surprised by how nice I am once they talk to me. I’ve had customers say they were waving and pointing across the room and I had no idea.. last weekend I even met a celebrity and didn’t realize until they were gone and my friend mentioned it. I just don’t notice shit, it’s nothing personal, strippers tend to be aloof naturally or cuz they’re drunk/high
• Ch3ll

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  6 years ago

  I must say it is funny to imagine you said God is good. For a second I wonder if you had a typo as I'm typing this and it wanted to auto to Good is ... Anyway, I'm black and from the south where is quite common for religious people to say God is good, all the time, all the time! That's how you should have said it! Beyond if you did say that, I wouldn't worry that one ignores you. I don't know why some ignore me, especially the ones I've tipped and asked to come by, but in the end it's money saved and opportunity for another one to come by and pleasantly surprise. As others have mentioned race, age, looks, etc. play a role, but I could believe too that sometimes they aren't in the mood or some other personal feeling that has nothing to do with you they decide to ignore you.
• OraCLE1

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  6 years ago

  Ch3ll, I'm from the South as well. I am in Ohio right now which is still pretry much Bible Belt ( you see Billboards with slogans such as "Jesus Saves") Just for Fyi, I didn't yell at her as some are confused about. I said it within ear shot as she was walking by in hopes of getting her attention. Ole girl just didn't bite.
• OraCLE1

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  6 years ago

  Ch3ll, I'm from the South as well. I am in Ohio right now which is still pretry much Bible Belt ( you see Billboards with slogans such as "Jesus Saves") Just for Fyi, I didn't yell at her as some are confused about. I said it within ear shot as she was walking by in hopes of getting her attention. Ole girl just didn't bite.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  Doesn't matter if you said it or yelled it, it's fucking creepy man. I wasn't there so maybe you found a way to say it in a charming way, I suppose. But I wouldn't rule out that her pegging you as an unbalanced religious weirdo who is all conflicted and nevertheless at the strip club, is what led directly to the subsequent ignoring. Or maybe not, who knows. You should just take the outsiders' view, she can't read your mind as to your motive for saying such an odd thing; maybe it's worth re-thinking how to get their attention. Not a slam, it sounds like you just blurted out something weird without realizing it's weird; I do that too, sometimes.
• chessmaster

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  6 years ago

  Maybe she is an atheist. :)
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  Maybe she's a scientologist; try praising Tom Cruise next time? She walks by, and a quick "All hail Tom Cruise and Xenu!"