Tipping Culture (outside the club)

You’re leaving out the most egregiously abusive factor about the increase of tipping requests, tipping is added revenue for the credit and debit card providers, and very often the businesses are helping themselves to a portion even all of the revenue from this money grabbing scheme.

I think I posted this before, but I had the same reaction at a local liquor store I don’t usually patronize. I was looking for some cold seltzers. I go in, browse the refrigerators, don’t see what I’m looking for and circle back. I decide on a reasonable substitute, grab a 12 pack and take it to the register and the cashier rings it up on an iPad credit card reader. Cashier is a middle aged woman who I take to be an owner or manager. She turns the iPad around and asks if I want to add a tip. This is my first interaction with a store employee and they want a tip for what? Me paying for the product I found myself? NFW

I consider myself otherwise to be a pretty generous tipper but there was literally zero service provided.

I have just told people I don't tip or donate at cash registers. It's never even gotten a protest. "No" is a complete sentence.

At restaurants I tip 20-25% of full price (which is a lot more than that if they're having specials, like Restaurant Week) unless service was mega shit. If it's a regular place (restaurant or strip club) where I know people, I slide a little extra.

And wherever I can, I tip cash. I hope they pocket it rather than give their bosses a cut.

One thing I'll say as a positive of all the dumbass requests for tips is that I've started paying more attention to how much I tip & why. I used to tip basically the same amount unless the service was really shitty or really great and even then it's wasn't really all that different. Nowadays, my tip is much more commensurate with the level of service.

Seeing kiosk order & counter serve joints setting default tips at 25% was what pushed me over the edge to start thinking about it.

re: Not tipping at cash registers:

There's a gray area where I sometimes do - the coffee shop server. They swing that little machine around with it teed up for a tip. For some reason, the machine's harder to resist than skipping the tip jar.

I guess the the people behind the counter do provide a service, beyond just ringing up my purchase like at a convenience mart, but it still feels like overreach. As the machines become more prevalent, I'm now leaning toward stiffing the coffee dude.

I will tip Waitstaff; Housekeeping at the Hotel; bartenders; baggage handler and Valets. If I am at a restaurant and see a table with a water view that I want I will tip/buy the table.

@twentyfive do you mean added revenue because of the 3% or so credit card fees they charge to businesses on all the credit card transactions?

^yes

@motorhead - Thanks for bringing this up. I'm curious about the following two places where I tip, and whether the amount is consistent with what others give:

1. Barber. There's like 8-10 barbers at this place and I just go to whichever one is available first. They're all nice guys but I don't have any real barber/customer relationship with any of them. My haircut is just a buzz cut, takes about 10 minutes, and they really can't screw it up. They charge $25 and I give an even $30. Is 5 bucks enough? I usually go once every two weeks.

2. Car wash - the guys who dry off your car. I used to go rarely, not even once a month, and I'd tip like $5 on a $16 wash. Happy to tip because those guys work hard, sometimes in the sweltering heat or freezing cold. Got a new car and signed up for a monthly deal, so now I go about three times a week. No way I'm paying $15 a week in tips, especially since this is a super-express place with cars rolling out at about 3 a minute. The wash is okay, but they don't do a very good job drying it off due to the rapid pace of cars going through. Still, I feel like it's a hard job and they do the best they can. I've been giving $2 each wash. Kind of seems cheap, but hell, that's $24 a month which is about what I pay for the monthly pass. I think a lot of people don't give anything.

As for a liquor store, hell no.

^ I generally tip similar amounts, the barbers have raised their prices a lot recently, and I know that they usually 60/40 their chair with the 60 going to the barber they’re making more money than ever.

It's gotten out of hand. I recently had a new water heater installed, and there was a tip request on the tablet when I signed for the credit card.

I'd rather see minimum wage increased so servers don't depend on tips, and an overall decrease in the prevalence of tip culture.

This happened to me the other day. I was at a restaurant that was very up front about a service charge of 18%. When it came time to pay the waitress (who was excellent) she reminded me that the service charge was not her tip. On a roughly $250 bill (upscale place) I’m already paying $45 in a service charge. I added $20 making my “tip” and “service charge” up to a little over 25%.

I get it, but her hovering over me while I was entering my choice on the mobile credit card machine rubbed me the wrong way. I tried to explain to my wife “I’m not tipping another 20% on top of the 18% I’m already required to do so, but she didn’t totally understand the concept, which I bet a lot people don’t. It’s a risky bet on the restaurant, some people will tip full amount, most probably won’t tip anything additional. The restaurant doesn’t care, because the only one hurt is the server who essentially has to split their tip (the 18%) with the rest of the staff.

The restaurant prices seemed great compared to competing nearby restaurants and now I understand why, they’re essentially 18% less “on paper.”

^I have heard thats a common scam. She might have gotten paid from both your tip and the service charge. Maybe some restaurants are keeping the service charge or splitting it among staff. Idk, several people in both NY and DC have told me the service charge is actually the same as a tip, to only tip more if you want to tip above the 18%

I have tipped 10% to barbers… i dont think its as necessary as tipping servers because they arent reliant on tips like servers are… the other thing is the barber i go to is the owner of the shop itself so i know she gets to keep everything plus gets a cut of all the barbers working for her

I dont mind the tip requests on tablets at starbucks or other places… its something the business itself added as an option, not the cashier or low level worker expecting a tip

A dancer at one point insisted tipping is customary for all dances

@shailynn - I don't understand what she meant by "the service charge was not her tip". If 18% added to your bill isn't a fucking tip, then what is it? She expects people to believe the restaurant is just soaking its customers with an extra 18% for the privilege of dining at their fine establishment? That sounds something like a dancer giving three dances and saying it was five.

My own habits is to tip 20% but I don’t tip if there is a service charge, @shailynn you should have asked for the manager, and asked if the service charge was in lieu of a tip, I wouldn’t have given her anything additional she was scamming you.

@misterorange - I'm the same with my barber. Usually I cut my own hair, but I'll get them to clean up my sloppy job every few months. Simple cut, I tip $5.

I don't tip bellhops because I handle my own bag. I don't like other people touching my stuff.

I don't tip for pity hustles, and I'd call that waitress saying "I don't get any of this" a pity hustle and probably a lie. I got Uber Eats with a note saying she depends on this for her kids. Just miss me with that transparent and unverifiable attempt at manipulation. Africans run the pity hustle constantly, often with a religious appeal in there.

For delivery, I tip a flat $10 whether it's a $20 order or a $100 order, because they're doing the same amount of work. I give very clear instructions of when to call me and where to wait. But if someone just drops it off and sends me a picture, I tip $0 and report unprofessional behavior and failure to follow instructions. Fucking lazy people.

@shailynn Man, I would that grind my gears. I tend towards being a generous tipper. And, tipping should be a pleasure, an expression of gratitude and not an obligation. Like, hey, I'm tossing you these bones because I'm truly grateful, not because you asked or I was forced to pay a service fee.

Me, I probably just would not patronize that restaurant again.

"you should have asked for the manager, and asked if the service charge was in lieu of a tip"

If she lied I'd tell the manager to fire her lying ass and post it all over social media.

Someone i know got hustled by that exact move… service charge of 18% or maybe even more and the server told them they get none of it so they gave the server another 20% cash tip

@ gammanu95
A plumbing company asking for a tip for installing a new water heater?? Ridiculous. I'm sure they charged plenty for the install.

@puddy you mean foreign Africans?

@motorhead Good topic, and yeah, I think seeing a tip jar in a liquor store might just drive me to start drinking... :)

@gammanu95 That water heater tip request was pretty crazy as well. Next thing you know we'll all be expected to tip for surgeries and colonoscopies...lol

If a restaurant server is really nice, I will frequently tip in the 30% to 50% range, or sometimes more, especially if they work at a place where the tips might often be modest at best. I've seen people work very hard, sometimes for very modest pay, and yet they go about their jobs cheerfully. As RonJax2 put it, I'm quite happy to tip those folks nicely as a show of gratitude...

However, like so many others, I'm also growing tired of the "here a jar, there a jar, everywhere a tip jar" shit. Like gamma said, pay your people a respectable wage and stop asking me to tip for anything and everything...

On another note, I wonder if anyone has ever yet told a panhandler that they had no cash, only to have them whip out an expensive smartphone and declare that they could accept electronic payments??? 😂

It’s fucking out of hand. The CEO’s of these corporations ( Starbucks) make multi millions and I supposed to tip their underpaid workers- - fuck that

@chunky - Yes, Africans. Nigerians in particular. You can tell Nigerian scammers because they write overly formally and always invoke God for why they need your money.

@clubfan - I've seen that. I don't pull out my wallet or phone for any panhandler. In addition to most of them being liars, a lot of them have an accomplice standing right there to grab your wallet or phone.

@shai - Echoing others, if I thought about it fast enough I’d ask for a manager to find out what the deal was. Either she was lying or the restaurant was keeping the 18% service charge. Neither of those situations is acceptable.

@dickdecker - so your response to your anger against the CEO is to take it out on the underpaid worker?

@Puddy Tat Yep, I also won't get out my phone or my wallet, and I usually make it quite clear that I'm not interested in talking to them or being approached. I had a panhandler walk up to my car one time as I was getting ready to leave a club, and the volume of my voice and the scowl on my face made it quite clear that I wasn't interested in hearing his BS...

The solution isnt raising the minimum wage- these servers take up these $2 an hour serving jobs because theyre netting $20, even $25 an hour.
Who knows what the ones at really high end restaurants can net… ive heard some servers are in the 6 figures

They could pay them all $20 an hour, and raise prices at the restaurant to cover it

But in that scenario the workers wont have as much motivation to provide good service.

The other problem is, will tipping culture stop just because server wages are increased. I dont think tipping culture will go away.
Then the customer is paying higher restaurant prices and still expected to tip on top

@clubfan - Maybe it's a residue of times I've lived in bad urban areas, but anyone walks toward me with intent, I angle myself in a fighting stance and if need be, yell "GET BACK!" while holding up a palm. I'd rather be rude than mugged.

Might be a personal pet peeve but the ones I hate are the ones who try to start a friendly, time-wasting conversation as lead-in to an ask. One wanted to fist-bump me before getting cab fare to see his child at Boston Children's. A bunch start with "Can I ask you a question?" (you just did, jerkass, and now I can tell you're running a script on me). "No" is a complete sentence.

@chunky - I'd rather do away with tipping culture altogether. Tipping is actually considered an insult in Japan, a way of asserting economic dominance over them.

@chunkychicano I can't speak for everyone else, but when I suggest that a more respectable wage might sometimes be in order, I'm suggesting that for all those NON-SERVING jobs that now seem to be constantly requesting tips. As you said, a server might be able to do quite well just on tips alone. But for many non-serving positions, I'd rather see the wages be respectable enough that tipping isn't constantly being requested...

@Puddy Tat Oh, I totally understand. Even if I'm usually assuming that someone is harmless and just trying to scam me, that alone is annoying enough. And just in case they aren't harmless, I also prefer to keep my distance from them for added safety. It really pisses me off when they approach me at gas stations, where I have no choice but to get out of my car for a few minutes...

I even had one guy, after I cut him off mid sentence to tell him that I didn't have any cash, try to SCOLD me by saying that he wasn't about to ask me for money! But that same douche had approached me before and asked for money, and it's not like it wasn't totally obvious what his intentions were...lol

^ LOL Clubfan. Just that one time he wasn't going to ask you for cash.

Lots of times guys at gas stations ask you "you good?" as in do you want to buy drugs.

@Puddy Right?!? He probably just needed a good recipe for meatloaf on that day, and I just happened to be right there... 😁

I actually had a random dude ask me about buying drugs in a club parking lot one time, which really caught me off guard. I mentioned it to the manager on duty, and she seemed to think he was an undercover cop... I think that's the only time I've had that happen to me, at least so far!

I go to a chain haircut place. When the kiosk asks me to pay, it gives 4 buttons for suggested dollar amounts. They work out to 25%, 36%, 53% and 71%!! The button to enter an amount is labelled "MORE"

It annoys the shit out of me. I usually tip around 15-18%.