Text messages with CF

I almost spit out my coffee when I read her text after the 3 day break.

Lol.

I keep waiting for mine to ask for money. Instead she wants to hang out, and go on dates.

Awesome! Hahahahaa

Too funny! They say the truth is stranger than fiction - but in the case of stripper shit - it's way fucking stranger than fiction!

It's good that you have an informed way of looking at this SS. Sometimes these girls can really work every angle to get $$$ - and someguys fall for it!

JeffLebowski is possibly the best TUSCL username ever.

Love it!!

I am surprised the 3 day text did not come after 3hrs, knowing SS lol

She couldn't earn 400 in three days at work?!

I didn't ask; and I won't. It wouldn't surprise me if she found the "emergency" money somehow. This doesn't preclude her from wanting my money, as well.

Damn lol I feel like such a pussy after reading this haha. I try to be nicer about saying no to these requests but your method sure keeps the conversation short.

Ah, yes. I've had similar experiences, I'm sure a lot of us have, and been called an asshole, too. lol

The Dude is in the house!

LOL, yep, this sounds familiar. I have a nearly identical text exchange with one stripper or another at least once a year. Almost word for word. There's always at least one of them that desperately needs money at the last minute for some reason, but doesn't want to 'work' for it. Of course I always say no. Except this one time: a girl I always wanted to see OTC kept turning me down, but then she texted me one day and asked to borrow money. I can't remember the amount she wanted but I told her I can only come up with $200 and that she could meet me at a diner to get the cash. She agreed, we met, I gave it to her, and after that she was totally willing to meet at hotels and do whatever I wanted for an agreed upon rate. It was a rational gamble, I think. I gave her no more upfront than I was willing to lose.

Sometimes they just need to see you once outside the club to be willing to see you outside the club, if that makes sense. So usually I say no to lending money to strippers, but once in a great while it can be like an investment. If she had wanted to meet in the club to get the money I would have said no to her just like all the others.

The dude abides.

I've been a lurker for awhile. This is almost a self help forum. Which in itself is probably not a good thing, but I can't stop. Maybe one day I'll post a thread about my situation...

When I used to text with my ex-ATF almost daily, we had some funny exchanges too, except she never asked for money. Just pot.

She had a VERY annoying habit of not ending conversations though. Like she'd ask me to stop by her apt. to smoke (etc.) and I'd say sure, when should I come by? Then I wouldn't hear for her for a day and she'd forget she even asked.

I haven't explored OTC or even done "VIP" sessions which probably keeps me insulated from these requests.

When they do ask for $$ is it really because they need a certain amount? I always assumed it was an entrepreneurial stripper that tries to figure what she might be able to get, sometimes having it backfire like this.

I did have my CF come up to me a few months ago apologetically saying she needed $40 before leaving and asked if I would give it to her. I asked when she needed to leave. When she said 1/2 hour I told her that was plenty of time to earn it. Off we went to the lapper area for 4 songs.

I did tip her $40 on top of the $40 for dances. We were both happy.

I must be too business like. If one of my otc girls asks me for money - I always ask what she can do for me (to earn the money). They know that I have the money - but they also know that I always make sure I get something in return (at the time of the exchange).

I think they probably move my number to the bottom of the list after a few emergencies - and after my "what's in it for me?" Reply.

Flagooner asked: "When they do ask for $$ is it really because they need a certain amount?"

I suspect the answer to that is all over the map. I'm sure that sometimes it's a specific amount to address a specific problem or bill. A lot of dancers careen from one crisis to the next. Other times, it's just as likely that a dancer feels like shopping or partying, and concocts an "emergency" and dollar amount to cover the cost.

I don't spend a lot of time trying to figure it out. And I spend zero money on stripper "lines of credit". That's the actual chump's game (in my opinion).

@Cashman... I'm okay with being at the bottom of those lists.

Nice having the dude here. Now we just need a Walter and change Fuck you Jackie to Shut up Jackie.

I once got a call 30 minutes after an OTC. She started by asking me if I actually paid her. When I assured her that I did and reminded her where she placed the donation, she then stated that her neighbor, who visited her shortly after I left, must have stolen it. She was crying and shit and asked if I could come back and give her some more cash. I said I didn't think so. Then she asked if I could come back and have another party.

I told her I was already 30 miles away heading to an appointment.

Complete SS!

Imagining returning, I was picturing her "neighbor" (aka bf, pimp, drug dealer, whatever) rolling me upon my return.

That was my last visit. See ya!!!!!

I agree Ishmael. Being at the bottom of those lists is a good thing. You handle those requests nicely, but its good to not need to handle more of them.

I've found that it's helpful to have a clarifying conversation about "loans" preemptively before the first request rolls in.

It's all about setting expectations.

I agree. I also agree that stripper loans and lines of credit have a high likelihood of default - and that makes it a chumps game (in my opinion).

That's a classic exchange of texts, Ishmael - well done! I must admit that I've fallen for such lines a few times. I absolutely agree that lending money to strippers is the true chump's game. Once it's in their hands, it's a gift! Never give money to a stripper and expect to get it back.

That's how you do it!

Agree also with my un-esteemed colleagues above: if you give it to them, it's a gift. If you don't feel like giving them a gift, don't give it to them.

Of course Ishmael you now have me wondering who it is as I am going to Desires and Dolls tonight.

Hah! Sorry, Skibum609. I play those cards close to the vest, on or offline.

Gotta love the understated "really don't give a shit about the underlying problem" vibe in that text conversation!

Yeah, well, I'm sure I'll find out what the issue was eventually.

Wonder what the response would have been if you texted her, "Sorry, but I had already starting making other arrangements for next week."

Cool. I was always wondering what I had to look forward to with strippers (as I get more success and money).

@CMI: I agree with your approach completely. Been on the receiving end of those conversations a few times myself. Depending on who it is, I often don't even answer.

I don't give strippers anything that I expect to get back... ever. And if I give a stripper money, I expect something back immediately.

I guess that there can be exceptions, but I regard a stripper loan to be as much as fictional as "Little Red Riding Hood."

Haha this is excellent! Thing is, you seem to have a strong sense of self control. It's easy to get caught up in feelings and make a bad choice.

We should link this thread as how to properly handle a 'front me some money' situation. And then link the millions of other threads that show what happens when a PL routinely fronts the dancer money. It always ends in the PL complaining that he didn't get anything in return for the money. Well duh!

Ya, if we made a "top 10 things newbies should read" list, this should be on it.

TFP, it's a weird thing -- I remember back when I used to think "it's easy to get caught up in feelings and make a bad choice" in this scenario. I remember feeling that way, but it's completely alien to me now, it's like the switch turned off. If anything, I am suspicious and irritated, and put the stripper (or sugarbaby -- SA is just as bad for this behavior, as strippers) on "one more fuckup and you're gone" classification. She does it more than once, she's gone. And I'm not remotely ever tempted to give her the $, beyond "I can meet you OTC tomorrow" type things.

That's why I think it's so good for beginners to read this. They get confused because it feels so personal -- not only might she not like me anymore if I don't give her the money, but how touching that when she's in trouble I'm the white knight she comes to. They don't realize that it's exactly the opposite, she not looking for her personal hero, she is trying to figure out how weak of a little bitch you are. It's not touching, it's the first step in a hustle. It should get you angry, not tug at your heartstrings

TFP, this is a great old thread you resurrected. I’ve had two experiences almost verbatim to what CMI posted and responded pretty much the same way. That includes the follow up a little later. There should also be a link to this thread on all the RIL threads. Somewhat different issue but it’s good to be reminded that it’s best to keep these “relationships” transactional and quid pro quo.

Thanks for the kudos. I appreciate it.

TFP said: "Thing is, you seem to have a strong sense of self control."

I'm not sure that's entirely true. I still spend quite a bit of money, and I'm not sure it's all spent well. That said, I'm completely unafraid to look for the NF (next favorite?) once the CF becomes greedy or troublesome. If anything, it can be fun to go prospecting.

Caveat... I live in a target-rich environment. Rhode Island's worst clubs are better than the best clubs in many parts of the country (well... perhaps not true for Club Fantasies).

Even so, I strongly suspect (hope) that my reply above would not change if I lived in a strip club wasteland. I don't do stripper drama or stripper debt. Both are dreadful.

I know I’ve talked about customer drama at me before, but it’s definitely a two way street lol.

I had loaned $350 to a stripper on the belief it was payment for future ITC or OTC action. What actually happened is she quit the biz and got married. Won’t even answer me on social media. Lesson learned.

Don’t bother with strippers.

I have a wonderful group of hoes for you

Omg 400 is 4 hk arribas im about ready to move!

And here I am wishing my ATF will send me a text.. :(

Vantablack... go back to the original thread and re-read all the good advice you got. And then read it again (for your own good).

It's great to have a friendly / fun relationship with your CF. You should like your CF. Honestly, I don't fully understand guys on here who talk about their CFs like a mindless fuck doll that breathes and poops. But hey, that's how they have fun.

But... beyond that point of friendly fun there be monsters. Because it is a transactional relationship at its core. If you don't believe that now, then it will almost certainly be proven to you in due time and at your detriment.

Also, something to keep in mind is that you may not be built for this sort of thing. That's not an insult. Really, it might be flattery. Some guys can't be intimate with a woman and not develop feelings. I've heard rumors that this is how it's supposed to work. Anyway, if it turns out that you're like that, then go another way.

But that's a future consideration. For right now, see if just having some friendly fun with your CF doesn't float your boat. It's okay to just have fun.

Also, you might consider going to another club having fun with other dancers. Once you've had a few dancers run the same or similar hustles on you, it becomes a lot harder to convince yourself that you're her special fella.

“...it’s the first step in a hustle. It should get you angry, not tug at your heartstrings. “

Really good point Subraman.

CMI also had a great point. If you get the opportunity, go to another club and witness another damcer try to run the same type of game. Let's you know this is really scripted way of extracting money from you.