Experiencing a Tragedy.
GACA
Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.
This is the solemn follow up the the previous discussion I started over a month ago:
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=4…
That girl is now dead. She died possible overdose on God knows what, she was 28 years old.
I spent a lot of time with her and she had to be the best at hiding her problems. Never seemed like she was fidgety or high any of the time we were together. No signs that I could see, granted I'm no expert on drug use.
She got up in the morning alive and well, took an Uber to the drug testing for probation, called me at lunch time. Said she would be done with by 1:30pm.
At 2pm when I didn't get another call, I texted her asking where she was, no answer. I followed up with a few phone calls every 40 minutes or so. By 5pm I thought she had been taken into custody for some reason. But just to be sure I went to the strip club she worked at. When I got there the girls looked very solemn. Minutes went by finally one asked me if it was true the "She" had died of a drug overdose. Shocked I texted her mom. Her mom told me to go to the Hospital no explanation just come. Long story short, the girl I went to the movies with the night before slept with and woke up with in the morning, and talked to at lunch was on a gurney stiff and purple. My heart did sink a little. Never had I been so close to death before. Never to someone so young.
You all have said it over and over, but I have learned a morbid lesson. Go to the club have fun but leave it at the club. Still my heart hurts for this. She was a mother daughter sister. She wasn't a malicious person in the least. Cool to hang out with. Now.... well the club business just went on like nothing happened. Of course business has to go on, and she was just another replaceable part.
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=4…
That girl is now dead. She died possible overdose on God knows what, she was 28 years old.
I spent a lot of time with her and she had to be the best at hiding her problems. Never seemed like she was fidgety or high any of the time we were together. No signs that I could see, granted I'm no expert on drug use.
She got up in the morning alive and well, took an Uber to the drug testing for probation, called me at lunch time. Said she would be done with by 1:30pm.
At 2pm when I didn't get another call, I texted her asking where she was, no answer. I followed up with a few phone calls every 40 minutes or so. By 5pm I thought she had been taken into custody for some reason. But just to be sure I went to the strip club she worked at. When I got there the girls looked very solemn. Minutes went by finally one asked me if it was true the "She" had died of a drug overdose. Shocked I texted her mom. Her mom told me to go to the Hospital no explanation just come. Long story short, the girl I went to the movies with the night before slept with and woke up with in the morning, and talked to at lunch was on a gurney stiff and purple. My heart did sink a little. Never had I been so close to death before. Never to someone so young.
You all have said it over and over, but I have learned a morbid lesson. Go to the club have fun but leave it at the club. Still my heart hurts for this. She was a mother daughter sister. She wasn't a malicious person in the least. Cool to hang out with. Now.... well the club business just went on like nothing happened. Of course business has to go on, and she was just another replaceable part.
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39 comments
I'm sorry to hear this. Condolescences to you and especially her family.
The effects that drugs can have on an otherwise great person are truly devastating. About 6 months ago we lost one of our coworkers to a heroin overdose and it shocked our entire office. No one would have ever expected him of being a drug user. He was a 27 year old father of 3 and seemed to be in great shape. Outside of work he was an assistant peewee football coach and very active in a local chapter of the American Cancer Society.
It turns out he got addicted to pain pills after a motorcycle accident left him with 3 fused vertibrae and a skull fracture about 4 years ago. After the doctors stop his prescription pain pills he turned to buying them on the street and eventually moved to heroin to treat the pain when his body built up a tolerance to the pain pills.
One Thursday evening he took a dose that was too strong for him and he was gone. He had been at work with us less than two hours before his death and he seemed perfectly happy and healthy. He was talking about trying to leave early on Friday so he could be on time for his son's game. Until the news of his death spread that evening no one around him knew that he was using drugs to mask the pain. We knew that he still had some residual pain from time to time but we didn't know what he was doing about it.
That said I just can't put myself in another position like this one. Getting high rules addicts life, nothing else matters. The night before she said she was the happiest she'd ever been. Now she's dead.
I do know that addicts live a roller coaster life like bi-polar people.
The highest high followed by the lowest of the low.
I have trouble seeing why anyone would even try crack or heroin, do they think everyone is lying to them that it will eventually kill you, period.
It is sad but I have no idea how to fix it, I agree with Charles Barkley that dope dealers should be publicly hung in the town square and left to rot! This is what concerns me about legal pot, if the first step is easy(pot) then the next step to something stronger is then to easy. Also pot is many times more potent than is was when I was in college and people around me were "toke'n up"
Hell I do not understand smoking pot either, Never Have Never Will - Has no appeal to me: it stinks, burns you lungs and takes days to clear you system! I'll stick to the occasional beer!
Getting into relationships is much easier than getting out. With strippers, it can be ridiculously easy, and that's why I tend to ignore the fools who think it's a good idea to go chasing after strippers. The problem with chasing after strippers is that you might actually catch one, and then God help you if you don't have your own shit together. I'm sorry for your loss.
I was chatting with me ATF recently who has been out of the stripper scene for 5 or 6 years now. She actually did go back to school and got her degree and is now in grad school. To me she seemed to be one who really had her shit together. We drank a lot together and she would do the pain pills, on a regular basis I assume. During the chat she told me there were many days at the club that she didn't care of she lived or died, which surprised the hell out of me. We never know what is really going on in these womens lives, not can we really do anything about it.
Go ahead and grieve and hopefully learn from the experience. It is a sobering thought for us not connected...I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you.
SJG
Back in the 80s my mom had a good-friend whose son that was in his early-20s used to like street racing - he had a suped-up Mustang-GT and one-day had a very bad accident - he ended up w/ head trauma - he kinda recovered but he felt when he used to look in the mirror that he looked disfigured - about a year later after the accident he committed suicide b/c he felt he was scarred for life due to his injuries.
The corollary here is if one plays w/ fire it can def catch up w/ you at some point - this young guy had been street-racing for a few-years and unfortunately it caught up to him.
Take care...
No one ever knows where life will take us and those we care about. But hopefully you have some good memories of your time together, even if those memories are limited to mind blowing sex, although it sounds like there were other good times. The hurt will pass and all those good memories would never be there had you not had a relationship with her. The pain is the cost of loving and living. Life would be far less satisfying without it. Easier maybe, but not as satisfying.
Anyway sorry for your loss. I've been wondering how long a close relative of mine has to live but none of us knows when Death or change will suddenly strike.
If it makes you feel better, I read a book last year about someone who died getting struck by lightning and came back and described a marvelous city in heaven. It was a major pain coming back alive but apparently he wanted to share his story that there is an afterlife. It is not the end.
I've been the ultimate white knight/enabler for years and she and I have agreed that whichever of us dies first the other will attend services. One day at a time.
Sorry you had this experience GACA
The school had either 2 or 3 stories/floors; can't remember now - they were taking pictures for the yearbook and apparently they thought it was a good-idea to go to the roof of the school to take a group pic w/ some students - a couple of people stood on a skylight that was a couple of feet above the roof; as they were standing to take a pic the skylight gave way and the girl fell thru and landed on the metal bars of the stair-case in the floor below and died from her injuries; I think she was only 15 or 16 - she almost took a guy student w/ her as she fell but he managed to not fall in.
I did not know her but it def hit very close to home knowing it was from my school that I went to for 3-years and knowing it was a girl w/ a similar background to mine - and me being young about 20 or 21 at the time it def impacted me.
It's shocking when you go into a place where you know a lot of the people and you ask "how so and so doing?" Or you ask if they are working, and you the blank stare and the "oh, you haven't heard?" line from someone.
i have concern for some of these girls and the way they abuse themselves. such as one 19yr old girl in las chaveles. beautiful, sweet, and fun... but drinks nonstop, smoking and doing cocaine. i expressed my concern to her... i hope she makes better choices before it's too late.