Knowing too much info
larryfisherman
California
Does that change your desire to do dances with her?
If that happened to me, I don't think I'd be comfortable doing dances with her anymore. I push the boundaries in the lapdance room, and I wouldn't be comfortable doing that with a girl that I know has a man. I'm not interested in doing air dances or low mileage dances, so no more dances for me from her. I would still tip her on stage and whatnot though.
What about you?
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I am thinking strip clubs aren't healthy for you, are at least dances / convo aren't.
1. Either stick to stage tipping, a couple drinks, and leave it at that.
2. Or get dances but don't engage in much convo. Like say no more than 20 words to each other, aka the Chili Palmer method.
Finding a monogamous/faithful stripper has the same odds as buying a winning lottery ticket while riding a rainbow unicorn. I usually assume that even if a dancer doesn't have a boyfriend, there's typically a few guys out there who think they're her boyfriend.
Strip clubs will never be a wellspring of fidelity (this goes for customers as well as dancers).
Again, I bust your balls mercilessly because you're an idiot and a horrible rapper but bro, strip clubs are not the place to go hunting for girlfriends. They are a place to gawk at naked women, and drop your load especially if you're a married guy who needs some strange or if you're an old divorced dude who wants to pull prime tail, and realizes the only way they are going to pull this off is at a strip club or with an escort.
Chances are very high she's played with another cock that week. What does it matter if one belongs to a boyfriend or customer?
Whether they have a BF doesn't even cross my mind
Item B) When it stops being Item A and interferes with your life, BAIL
or better yet, get some help, you're not dealing with a full deck of cards.
Item C) Trust your gut. If her 'boyfriend' doesn't know and is likely to catch you in the act (OTC) and react hostile (violence, stalking, passive aggressive vengeance like smashing car windows) THEN you have the perfect reason to find another dancer- but that dancer very well could be in unhealthy relationships as well, it goes with the lifestyle.
most of the dancers i've interacted with, don't mention whether they have a BF or not. i think the majority of them know that mentioning their BF is not beneficial. in other words, they know its going to hurt their chances of selling dances.
Could you imagine being the guy who's girl is getting plowed each and everytime she goes to work?
Imagine sitting in a club and seeing your girlfriend disappear into the VIP room with guy after guy of all different shapes and sizes?
Unless you're into voyeurism, i don't see how any guy with any balls at all would put up with something like that.
Is it because she has another man and therefore isn't exclusive to you? If so, never get another dance because none are exclusive. They are all trying to pleasure as many customers as possible. (Lopaw, notice I didn't say men)
Or is it because you feel bad for the BF? If so, she is a stripper and she is the one putting it out there. You aren't the one being disrespectful to him, she is.
It is possible, though, to get too much info on a dancer, though. Had one I particularly liked once, so I sought her out on social media. Found out we had about two degrees of separation from a group of folks I do some work with. She had worked with them from one side of the business and left right before I got there on another side, so I'm sure we know all the same people. Had even won some awards from them for her work. I never would have known if I didn't look her up. Once I did, though, it freaked me out some.
@warhawks- good way to put it
I assume all dancers have boyfriends, but I just don't want to know about it.
OTOH, I don't want it to be rubbed in my face. I have no desire for her to tell me "Well, I need to make $500 today so I'm going to blow five guys!" On dates she will tell me a little about her boyfriends (yes, plural) and their sex lives, but for the most part we pretend, for the duration of a date, that we are lovers.
If you let it bother you that extras girls do extras for guys other than you, then strip clubs are not the place for you. I know what she does for a living; I just choose not to think about it.
But there is no reason to put yourself in that position. You can usually find out if the girl has a boyfriend, and likely also get her outside and into your own bed, within the first 24 hours of meeting her. Two club visits max, and on successive days. And usually one is enough. If it is not, finish what you started with her by a second visit. And tell her that you will be coming that second day, and at what time. After that, your own bed.
So this kind of stuff will not happen, because you are her boyfriend.
Now yes, whether a girl has a boyfriend is always just whether or not she says so. It is her call. Some massage girls will say, "I have many boyfriends". Usually that is a green light to proceed and start seeing her outside, like immediately walking out the front door with her.
But there is no reason you need to be doing more than a max of about 2 rounds of high mileage dances with a girl, before you know everything about her,
I would say that if you and the girl hit it off, even just one visit to her club with the dances and front room money and fraternizing should usually be enough. And once she is outside the club, she changes completely and opens up.
For a young, well employed, and personable guy Larry, you are spending way too much time and money in strip clubs, and dealing with lots of negative dynamics. No reason for that. See your girls outside. Best is just civilianized over nighters, even if you are giving her money. The money is not payment, it is "looking after her." This was how they described it in that movie about the UK Profumo Affair, when the central girl told a jury that she was not a prostitute.
SJG
The Hermetic Hour - The "Why" of Magick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq5re8EL…
You can first meet them in strip clubs, or anywhere else too. But after that, in your own bed.
Good Luck,
SJG
Thank you for being inclusive :)
Why does it bother you if she has a man in her life, is it because it is you that wants to be her man, you are 'her man' in that time it takes the song to play and your moneys worth runs out. And then she moves onto the next 'man in her life' and you're history.
Only way to change that is to be seeing girls outside, and effectively being ~involved~ with them.
SJG
I don't feel a shred of guilt and I do a lot more to them than pushing the envelope in a lapdance room. I'll let them worry about how they explain how wet they already are to their SOs or how creamy everything feels. I'm guessing that some % of these fucktards already know what's happening and choose to ignore it. If these guys had any shred or male pride or self respect, they wouldn't be dating girls who crawl all over other guys for a living to begin with.
I don't feel a shred of guilt and I do a lot more to them than pushing the envelope in a lapdance room. I'll let them worry about how they explain how wet they already are to their SOs or how creamy everything feels. I'm guessing that some % of these fucktards already know what's happening and choose to ignore it. If these guys had any shred or male pride or self respect, they wouldn't be dating girls who crawl all over other guys for a living to begin with.
True, I do my best to speak as little as possible (and not at all during a lap dance) with a dancer. "Wanna dance" is all I need if she's got my little brain worked up. There are exceptions to this (my most recent OTC adventure last week), but I honestly don't want to know or need to know about her personal life, especially if it involves children.
If the typical song is 3 minutes long and I'm paying between $10-$25 for that song, the only reason her mouth should be open is for either that "front room GFE" or back room BBBJ.
CP
On the subject bf. Bf doesn' mean bf. It could mean just some guy she's fucking, a friend she's talking with, or the one she's actually with.
For me, I'm in the don't ask don't tell camp. It's a buzzkill thinking about having to pay for what some likely douche is getting for free and/or if she's got a normal guy treating her well but is servicing guys behind his back. Not so much a moral thing if you want to call it that, but more so an ego one.
But if you steer it that way, you'll find out right off what her life is like.
SJG