Knowing too much info

larryfisherman
California
Say for awhile you've been enjoying high mileage dances or the kind of dances you like from a fav. You then find out she has a new boyfriend, or you find out she's had a boyfriend the whole time you've been "enjoying" her.

Does that change your desire to do dances with her?

If that happened to me, I don't think I'd be comfortable doing dances with her anymore. I push the boundaries in the lapdance room, and I wouldn't be comfortable doing that with a girl that I know has a man. I'm not interested in doing air dances or low mileage dances, so no more dances for me from her. I would still tip her on stage and whatnot though.

What about you?

47 comments

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Dominic77
8 years ago
No. Not a concern for me. Never was.

I am thinking strip clubs aren't healthy for you, are at least dances / convo aren't.

1. Either stick to stage tipping, a couple drinks, and leave it at that.
2. Or get dances but don't engage in much convo. Like say no more than 20 words to each other, aka the Chili Palmer method.
jackslash
8 years ago
If I only got dances from strippers who don't have a boyfriend, I would save a ton of money because I would never get a dance again. And I would save even more money by not banging strippers with boyfriends.
ATACdawg
8 years ago
It's happened to me a few times. Since it's all fantasy, I don't let it worry me.
Dougster
8 years ago
They all have boyfriends. And still fuck their customers anyway. Sometimes with boyfriends knowledge, sometimes without.
Call.Me.Ishmael
8 years ago
No. No problem at all.

Finding a monogamous/faithful stripper has the same odds as buying a winning lottery ticket while riding a rainbow unicorn. I usually assume that even if a dancer doesn't have a boyfriend, there's typically a few guys out there who think they're her boyfriend.

Strip clubs will never be a wellspring of fidelity (this goes for customers as well as dancers).
shailynn
8 years ago
When you walk into a club what do you see? A bunch of hot women. Are hot women usually single? No. Do they lie to you and say they are? Yes. Do you believe them? Yes, because you are insecure even though deep down you know they are not.

Again, I bust your balls mercilessly because you're an idiot and a horrible rapper but bro, strip clubs are not the place to go hunting for girlfriends. They are a place to gawk at naked women, and drop your load especially if you're a married guy who needs some strange or if you're an old divorced dude who wants to pull prime tail, and realizes the only way they are going to pull this off is at a strip club or with an escort.
houjack
8 years ago
What's the difference whether she has boyfriend or not? It's not like you're the only guy that gets mileage even if she is single, lol.

Chances are very high she's played with another cock that week. What does it matter if one belongs to a boyfriend or customer?
GoVikings
8 years ago
no, it doesn't change my desire to get dances with her

Whether they have a BF doesn't even cross my mind
Hugh_G_Rection
8 years ago
Item A) Its supposed to be a fantasy. PERIOD. Enjoy it.

Item B) When it stops being Item A and interferes with your life, BAIL
or better yet, get some help, you're not dealing with a full deck of cards.

Item C) Trust your gut. If her 'boyfriend' doesn't know and is likely to catch you in the act (OTC) and react hostile (violence, stalking, passive aggressive vengeance like smashing car windows) THEN you have the perfect reason to find another dancer- but that dancer very well could be in unhealthy relationships as well, it goes with the lifestyle.
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
At various times during our relationship, the DS, video girl, and GingerBread all had boyfriends. And free girl was married while we were fucking. I talked to all of them about their boyfriends/husband, sometimes in great detail. In most cases (video girl being the only apparent exception) the guys did not know that their girl was a prostitute. You can't let it bother you, or else you shouldn't play with strippers.
Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx
8 years ago
Nah. Doesn't cross my mind neither. Don't really care neither. Now a notable exception is if she was in a relationship with one of the staff that works at the same club (DJ, manager, bartender, etc). Then I would perhaps have my reservations of getting dances from her under those conditions.
rockstar666
8 years ago
I wouldn't care; in fact the vast majority of dancers have a b/f or husband whom I assume they fuck. The attitude to stay away from the dancer is the start of a slippery slope. What about when she's with another P/L in VIP? Are you jealous about that? I've heard about P/L's getting in to fights when someone shows a dancer "too much" affection. When my ATF went to VIP with a P/L I was always happy for her, because she was making money.

Subraman
8 years ago
They're attractive girls, 95% have boyfriends, if not baby daddies. If it's important to your fantasy that they be single, you need to bend over backwards to not talk to them about it, not look at their social media, etc. Alternatively, do some work on yourself to identify why this is important to you, and address it.
skibum609
8 years ago
I assume every dancer has a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a sugar daddy, does otc and cheats on all of the above. I am purchasing a service and nothing more.
lopaw
8 years ago
Often strippers will tell me their life stories, including current boyfriend (or girlfriend) drama. I don't want to hear it because it does impact the fantasy that I am paying (in part) for. I assume that every stripper has an SO out there somewhere but the ones dumb enough to talk about it with me are usually one-and-done.
GoVikings
8 years ago
my experience is different from lopaw's.

most of the dancers i've interacted with, don't mention whether they have a BF or not. i think the majority of them know that mentioning their BF is not beneficial. in other words, they know its going to hurt their chances of selling dances.
warhawks
8 years ago
Be glad YOU are not the boyfriend.

Could you imagine being the guy who's girl is getting plowed each and everytime she goes to work?

Imagine sitting in a club and seeing your girlfriend disappear into the VIP room with guy after guy of all different shapes and sizes?

Unless you're into voyeurism, i don't see how any guy with any balls at all would put up with something like that.
rockstar666
8 years ago
I take warhawks' point, but for me it depends on the level of emotional attachment. I have an escort g/f and I'm just in it for the sex; she has skills! She becomes annoying in larger doses though, plus I have no desire to support her. I can see how a deep emotional attachment to a sex worker would be more problematic however.
FTS
8 years ago
The only time it bothered me was when I met a girl who approached me in a bar, and within 3 minutes she invited me to leave the bar and fuck her. Unfortunately, I left with her AND her boyfriend, I joined them in their car, we drive to a secluded place, and I almost fucked her in the back seat while her boyfriend was in the front. That was just too weird for me, so I asked them to take me back and they did.
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
GoV, usually I learn about the boyfriend during OTC interactions. It is rare in my experience (although not unheard of) for the subject of the boyfriend to come up itc.
flagooner
8 years ago
I'm confused about why you wouldn't feel comfortable.

Is it because she has another man and therefore isn't exclusive to you? If so, never get another dance because none are exclusive. They are all trying to pleasure as many customers as possible. (Lopaw, notice I didn't say men)

Or is it because you feel bad for the BF? If so, she is a stripper and she is the one putting it out there. You aren't the one being disrespectful to him, she is.
AnonymousJim
8 years ago
Just having a boyfriend isn't too much info for me.

It is possible, though, to get too much info on a dancer, though. Had one I particularly liked once, so I sought her out on social media. Found out we had about two degrees of separation from a group of folks I do some work with. She had worked with them from one side of the business and left right before I got there on another side, so I'm sure we know all the same people. Had even won some awards from them for her work. I never would have known if I didn't look her up. Once I did, though, it freaked me out some.
shailynn
8 years ago
Having a boyfriend is better than having the clap.
larryfisherman
8 years ago
@rockstar- I'm not jealous lol. I just don't want to be the one fucking a girl or doing high mileage dances with a girl who's got a man.

@warhawks- good way to put it

I assume all dancers have boyfriends, but I just don't want to know about it.
MrDeuce
8 years ago
I met my ATF in a club with a VIP room with UHM, i.e. HJs and BJs are de rigeur. In fact, we engaged in 69 on our first VIP and and have continued to do that (or more) on almost every subsequent VIP or OTC date. So it's no surprise to me that she sucks dick for a living. Even when she tells me, as she did after our first VIP, that she does that only "for a select few, because I felt a bond with you", I chalk it up to SS and think no more about it.

OTOH, I don't want it to be rubbed in my face. I have no desire for her to tell me "Well, I need to make $500 today so I'm going to blow five guys!" On dates she will tell me a little about her boyfriends (yes, plural) and their sex lives, but for the most part we pretend, for the duration of a date, that we are lovers.

If you let it bother you that extras girls do extras for guys other than you, then strip clubs are not the place for you. I know what she does for a living; I just choose not to think about it.
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
Larry, yes, if you like the girl and are doing dances with her, that knowledge will change things.

But there is no reason to put yourself in that position. You can usually find out if the girl has a boyfriend, and likely also get her outside and into your own bed, within the first 24 hours of meeting her. Two club visits max, and on successive days. And usually one is enough. If it is not, finish what you started with her by a second visit. And tell her that you will be coming that second day, and at what time. After that, your own bed.

So this kind of stuff will not happen, because you are her boyfriend.

Now yes, whether a girl has a boyfriend is always just whether or not she says so. It is her call. Some massage girls will say, "I have many boyfriends". Usually that is a green light to proceed and start seeing her outside, like immediately walking out the front door with her.

But there is no reason you need to be doing more than a max of about 2 rounds of high mileage dances with a girl, before you know everything about her,

I would say that if you and the girl hit it off, even just one visit to her club with the dances and front room money and fraternizing should usually be enough. And once she is outside the club, she changes completely and opens up.

For a young, well employed, and personable guy Larry, you are spending way too much time and money in strip clubs, and dealing with lots of negative dynamics. No reason for that. See your girls outside. Best is just civilianized over nighters, even if you are giving her money. The money is not payment, it is "looking after her." This was how they described it in that movie about the UK Profumo Affair, when the central girl told a jury that she was not a prostitute.

SJG

The Hermetic Hour - The "Why" of Magick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq5re8EL…
larryfisherman
8 years ago
^^^Good point, I'll be out of the strip clubs for a long time.
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
Find one or more girl(s) you like, and fuck them in your own bed. You decide if "looking after them" with money, is okay with your, and affordable too.

You can first meet them in strip clubs, or anywhere else too. But after that, in your own bed.

Good Luck,
SJG
lopaw
8 years ago
Duly noted, flagooner.
Thank you for being inclusive :)
londonguy
8 years ago
I don't want to hear about their partners but I realize most of them probably have one. I'm buying a fantasy not a reality.

Why does it bother you if she has a man in her life, is it because it is you that wants to be her man, you are 'her man' in that time it takes the song to play and your moneys worth runs out. And then she moves onto the next 'man in her life' and you're history.
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
But londonguy, then you are just getting your wallet sucked dry, in strip club after strip club.

Only way to change that is to be seeing girls outside, and effectively being ~involved~ with them.

SJG
larryfisherman
8 years ago
Once again it doesn't bother me that she has a man, I'm not jealous. I just feel guilt having fun with her lol knowing she has a man. What if I was that guy? Oh well, if she doesn't mind, then why should I mind lol.
K
8 years ago
The only reasons I avoid a woman with a SO is he (or she) may get jealous and cause trouble. Otherwise, it is none of my business.
rickdugan
8 years ago
What jacklash said. They almost all have SOs. They just don't talk about them for this exact reason - because some guys feel weird about it.

I don't feel a shred of guilt and I do a lot more to them than pushing the envelope in a lapdance room. I'll let them worry about how they explain how wet they already are to their SOs or how creamy everything feels. I'm guessing that some % of these fucktards already know what's happening and choose to ignore it. If these guys had any shred or male pride or self respect, they wouldn't be dating girls who crawl all over other guys for a living to begin with.
rickdugan
8 years ago
What jacklash said. They almost all have SOs. They just don't talk about them for this exact reason - because some guys feel weird about it.

I don't feel a shred of guilt and I do a lot more to them than pushing the envelope in a lapdance room. I'll let them worry about how they explain how wet they already are to their SOs or how creamy everything feels. I'm guessing that some % of these fucktards already know what's happening and choose to ignore it. If these guys had any shred or male pride or self respect, they wouldn't be dating girls who crawl all over other guys for a living to begin with.
JimGassagain
8 years ago
^^^ Good points RDugan. I for one don't know how anyone cares to see any of them outside of the club. It's a risk that to me isn't worth the value.
Charles Paisley
8 years ago
@ Dominic77: LOL at the 'Chili Palmer method."

True, I do my best to speak as little as possible (and not at all during a lap dance) with a dancer. "Wanna dance" is all I need if she's got my little brain worked up. There are exceptions to this (my most recent OTC adventure last week), but I honestly don't want to know or need to know about her personal life, especially if it involves children.

If the typical song is 3 minutes long and I'm paying between $10-$25 for that song, the only reason her mouth should be open is for either that "front room GFE" or back room BBBJ.

CP
stripfighter
8 years ago
Just like her saying she doesn't have a bf, there's many reasons why she says she does. Protection from creeper vibes, redirect relationship talks, etc.

On the subject bf. Bf doesn' mean bf. It could mean just some guy she's fucking, a friend she's talking with, or the one she's actually with.

For me, I'm in the don't ask don't tell camp. It's a buzzkill thinking about having to pay for what some likely douche is getting for free and/or if she's got a normal guy treating her well but is servicing guys behind his back. Not so much a moral thing if you want to call it that, but more so an ego one.
wallanon
8 years ago
I'll listen to whatever a dancer wants to talk about. If it's run of the mill stuff, that goes pretty fast. "Hi. Nice weather. I'm an idiot. Wanna dance?" A few seconds of awkward silence and they're wanting to leave and I get my space back. If a stripper really has something to say that she's interested in sharing, why not? She'll remember that you listened and you'll know whether or not you want to invest any more time. If it's someone that isn't new, they already know they've got the ok to chat about anything they want. If it's boyfriend or family stuff, that's all right. Everybody has baggage.
loper
8 years ago
Don't care if she has a boyfriend. Last stripper I spent time with had a husband -- still makes no difference to me. Don't like it if a stripper judges me for having a wife, some of them seem to.
DandyDan
8 years ago
It depends on how far along we are. If it's someone I just met, I generally don't want to think about it. If it's someone I've known for a while, I don't think much of it. And as for my old favorite Angel, when she finally told me she was married, we ended up doing ITC.
larryfisherman
8 years ago
I had a OTC relationship with my ex CF for four or so months. During that time I fucked her countless times. It wasn't until we ended things that I found out that she was in a "committed" relationship with another guy during the whole time I was banging her. It doesn't really bother me now because I had no idea, I don't really feel any guilt. If I would have known beforehand, there's no way I would have fucked her. I would be feeling way too guilty.
rockstar666
8 years ago
larry...I've only fucked 2 girls in the last 10 years that WASN'T banging someone else at the same time...
rockstar666
8 years ago
Oh, make that one. I just forgot my civvi g/f is married! LOL But she's only banging me and him.
larryfisherman
8 years ago
Rockstar....you've only fucked 1 girl in the past 10 years that wasn't fucking someone else on the side?? Are you a swinger? I don't like sharing my hoes lol.
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
Maybe 50% day shift, 80% night shift of the girls in our local clubs do not have SO's.

But if you steer it that way, you'll find out right off what her life is like.

SJG
flagooner
8 years ago
You're a dumbass. If she is exclusive she isn't a ho. Or are you just trying to be cool?
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