Regulars

It may be because you're annoying, and you haven't been around the new girls enough yet to annoy them, so they are still nice to you.

Lol shailynn, I was getting ready to make a similar comment, along with one that referenced possible hygiene issues.

Timex, in addition to whatever personality and/or hygiene issues that you may have, you are also clearly heartless. The poor woman needed money for medicine for her daughter and you callously blew her off. I, being of a much more charitable nature than you, probably would have offered her the opportunity to earn that money. After all, I believe the children are our future. ;)

I was about to make the exact same comment! This pattern isn't human nature, the pattern for me is always that I reap big benefits as I become more and more of a regular. That's the benefit of being a regular

I think it can go either way. As far as I can tell, the main problem is when a customer thinks more money necessarily brings a better experience. That's backwards, though. If you're rewarding what you don't want in hopes that it will encourage what you do want... well, I guess you have figured that part out. ;)

I agree with the others. Maybe take a shower, toss on some fresh cologne, brush your teeth, purchase some gum, put on clothing that just got out of the laundry not off the floor from 3 work shifts ago.

Being a regular has a ton of benefits such as higher mileage and even extras in or outside the club. New girls are to worried if your a undiscovered cop or worse a black operative with diplomat impunity on orders to Kill

shailynn, rickdugan, and Subraman all beat me to the punch. Being a regular of a hot, sensual, and relatively reliable stripper has lots of benefits. It would seem that we're piling on, but subtlety is lost on you.

It could be that they see you as a whimp they can push around - you need to assert yourself and your rights as the one w/ the $$$ - being that you seemingly resort to just complaining on TUSCL vs addressing the problem directly makes me think that you may be acting like a pushover w/ these girls.

Ricky is a faggot

that was not nice Joe

Nice guys finish last. :)

I'm not so sure about the being annoying thing. I remember at 4 or 5 years old being mystified at hearing a woman complain for a solid 30 minutes about her man being annoying, then as soon as he arrived, transform into a perfect princess for him. That's a pattern I haven't seen let up since then.

It sounds like they come to Timex how he wants them, but then he trains them to do the opposite of what he wants e.g., by gritting his teeth and buying dances when he would rather talk first. Another guy here recently posted about how it annoys him when dancers want to sit and talk and not go straight to dances, so it's not a foregone conclusion that any given guy wants to talk.

Why spend the money on an undesirable result instead of telling her "not right now, I like to hang out and talk first before getting dances" and give her a chance to either have a seat or come by when she has time for that. Or, if it's too busy of a night, to just say that, freeing up your time and money for someone who does have the time and energy for what you're looking for.

I get the feeling that @Timex is an extremely talented troll. He's probably a psychology Ph.D. student studying the traits that make any man pathetic, weak, clingy, and unattractive to the opposite sex. Under the surface he's trolling us with a character who's a composite of what makes a strip-club addict truly pathetic.

In reality he's getting the last laugh when we take his posts seriously.

I concur in the training process to gain the favourable situation that you seek. Note that this will take up to a month's of visiting but in due time and a little patience you will reap a bountiful harvest.

At one of my favorite watering hole I first find a place to relax away from the VIP room and near the stage while ordering myself refreshments. This singleness that I have just arrived and am not looking for dances but rather stimulating conversation over a few appetisers. Once I'm ready to commence my party in a more private setting I will take a rest near the VIP lounge thus giving the go to all the girls I buy services and Good's from to now engage.

^^^ or he's a 42 year old virgin PL - that's really not that different from a psychology student, only difference is the age.

Well I do declare

I concur with the rest of the group. Sounds like you just need be more straight forward about your expectations. If they aren't willing to meet those expectations, find one will.

I actually want the benefits of being a (club) regular. Most important being I can have a few go to gals on any given visit that I know won't dissapoint.

I've experienced being taken for granted by a dancer I was regular with... but generally, at least where I live, being a regular improves the menu and reduces the uncertainty in follow through. Of curse... there are other locations where the question of results is less of a problem.

Hey, if they treat me like dogmeat, I just smile and pick another dancer. Plenty of fish in the sea.

-->" I get the feeling that @Timex is an extremely talented troll."

I have felt for quite a while that the small group of butthurt PLs (new term, thanks m!) we have, Timex and a couple of others, are all trolls; I just don't think any real person would keep at it this long and consistently. At first I thought I'd stop responding, but the fact is, if we follow the general rule that there's 10x or 100x as many lurkers as there are posters in any group, I think our responses could be widely useful. I do think many newbie SC patrons fall into these types of patterns as Timex describes, and our responses often generate interesting side discussion among the non-trolls

Some(not all) dancers take advantage of their regulars. The dancer thinks the PL is in love with them and will tolerate all of her SS.
I admit, I will tolerate some SS from a favorite, but am always ready to move on to the next girl.
If being a regular does not add more, shall we say "benefits"...then why be her regular?

As Vince said, "plenty of fish in the sea".

lol

Having mostly regulars does have disadvantages. You loose some of the variety, they can get complacent and take you for granted, and yes they ask you for money for their kids and other shit. Nevertheless, the many advantages of having a good regular far outweigh the disadvantages. You just need the experience to know how to handle them effectively.

I agree completely John

Vince John is just high

My regulars treat me like a king. If they don't, they don't become or remain regulars. It's my money after all.

I treat all my regulars very nice down at the supermarket

^^

Yes'sur

He always double bags my mom's melons

Lol

w.r.t. Timex being a troll - who knows - many on here thought Bavarain and his fave-blindness was him being a troll but AFIAK a few TUSCLers have already met him in person.

I've met Bavarian. He's a nice guy. Yes he has a different approach than most of us, but he seems happy with it so let him do his thing. He'll gain experience and evolve in the pleasures of strippers just as we all do. Has anyone met Timex?

I had a timex watch or two over the years.

Seems like Timex takes a licking but keeps on ticking

"I get the feeling that @Timex is an extremely talented troll. He's probably a psychology Ph.D. student studying the traits that make any man pathetic, weak, clingy, and unattractive to the opposite sex. Under the surface he's trolling us with a character who's a composite of what makes a strip-club addict truly pathetic.

In reality he's getting the last laugh when we take his posts seriously."

Brilliant hypothesis!

Of course, the simplest explanation for anything is probably the correct one. The simplest hypothesis for Timex345 is that he really is a socially awkward PL. So that is probably what he is.

But I still say the notion that he is studying us by intentionally creating this loser character is ace! ;)

I'm no troll, but I see some validity in what Timex is saying. I've come to this forum and expressed how I'm very new to the game; first trip was 18 months ago... but went a full year before trip #2, so really I consider this past February the beginning of SC's for me.

I'll also be the first to admit I've got some pu**y tendencies in the club, but I'm working on them and appreciate coming here and reading some of things some veterans post that help me along; in particular in this thread I've read some from Papi_Chulo, Subraman, Chessmaster, and others. Don't take offense if I missed you.

But if I may relate where I'm at, anyone who cares (don't feel obligated) may chime in. I just got back from a trip and spent a huge chunk on my favorite dancer. This is probably the 5th time we've hung out, each time better and more fun, and more money. My concern is that I've hit the law of diminishing returns. I've hit the max I would want to spend on her on one night, and based on this wall of anonymity and assuming I might not ever meet anyone here, I'll admit it was $1,400. Nope, no extras. I'm really not interested so please don't take this post down that direction. This is just a couple different 1 hour very intimate VIP Sessions, and a few other dances here and there. Plus, I think subconsciously I wanted to break what she had once told me was her one-night record total, $1,300. That's total, not from one pathetic dude ;) - Maybe I subconsciously feel like that would solidify as a favorite. Heck, I own businesses, I like the people that give me money.

To her credit she started by joining me at the stage and just sitting with me as I tipped, for probably about 90 minutes. No pushing, no selling, she almost seemed content to just sit there all night. I finally actually brought up getting dances when I got bored with the stage. I think that is a huge part of what turns me on about her. She even gets shy at the VIP, hesitant about the price, acting like she wants to give me a discount. It's endearing. I'm not delusional about dancer's motives, but she probably just sells the illusion really well that she enjoys my company. I certainly enjoy hers. I did also finally get her phone number, solely for the purpose of seeing if she'll be working. I don't want to waste a trip if she won't be there. So I later texted just a "hello" type text, really so she could then have my number, but I haven't heard back.

Anyway, any ideas on how to handle the inevitable fallout for if/when I taper back and start to do just one hour VIP, or even 30 minutes like we used to do? I suppose I'll just have to wait and see how the treatment changes.

I feel like I'm answering my own question... I need a girlfriend, not a stripper! :) -- 33 y/o and have been single for a number of years now. Hoping for helpful tips; you can refrain from casting me to the lot of PL's, I already know that!

Timothy, you should post a separate discussion with your questions. This post is kinda old, and people are more likely to see it and respond if you post a new discussion.

w.r.t. tj55's comment:

Well - as a TUSCL PL I'm always at the ready w/ an opinion - but an opinion is not gospel and anything anyone posts is more "FYI" or food-for-thought vs tbe indisputable thruth.

In my PL career; particualrly after becoming a TUSCLer and reading the experiences of many; I think where most PLs go astray is in trying to somewhat make a sex-worker a love--interest (yeah - I don't like the term sex-worker but I think it should be used in the context of this discussion).

IMO - money does not buy love - it can just buy pussy which can see like love - I don't think giving $$$ to a woman will make her like you more - she either likes you or she doesn't and many will say, and I agree; that giving her more $$$ and in a sense trying to buy her and/or her affections; will usually have the opposite effect of her if not liking you less at the leat kinda losing respect for you as a man that you/me has to pay a woman for her attention/affections - if you have to give her $$$ for her to like you then it should be obvious she doesn't if one really looks at themselves in the mirror.

Trying to make a stripper a genuine love-interest is trying to fit a round-peg in a sqaure-hole, IMO - it is trying to fill a genuine need in the wrong-way - kinda either trying to force-it or making a hail-mary hope - i.e. the basic "throwing money at the problem" which often happens whether it's dealing w/ strippers or not

IMO one needs to take strip-clubs for what they are and def not take them for what they are not - a lot of PLs are very lonely and go looking for love or unknowingly think it's love when a stripper treats then like the greatest thing since sliced bread - for almost every stripper; when it comes to the strip-club it is all about the $$$ and that is usually solely what's on their mind - IMO the stripper/custy "relationship" is no doubt one of mismatched desires - our desire may be for them - but IMO their desire is solely for our $$$ - I don't think you are ever going "to get her" by throwing $$$ at the problem - at best you'll just get a kept-woman/trophy-GF, if that - usually the way it goes is a smart experienced dancer will string along a PL until she has bled him dry or he's more trouble than he's money is worth (he gets clingy, demanding, entitled, etc).

Can one get a dancer to fall in-love w/ them - anytbing is possible - so I nor anyone else can say it can't happen - but IME it is the rare-exception and IMO spending more $$$ on her is not the way to make her fall for you.

When dealing w/ dancers; IMO it's best to expect that you are being played and it's not real and just go w/ the flow - and if it turns into somethinig esle; then you go from there - but at the same time "dating" a stripper IMO comes w/ it's own set of problems of being ok w/ her workng as a stripper - and if not then you may have to maintain/support her - and in the end - we also gotta be honest w/ ourselves and whether we are really just in lust and we just want her b/c of how she looks, or if we genuenly care about her - if it's just lust then can't ask of her to like us genuenly.


Anyway - I rambled a lot and perhaps didin't really make a clear-argument - I guess my point is that seeing what a dancer does for us when we are paying her $$$ as anything more than her taking care of a good customer often leads to a rude awakening for the PL - i.e. most people are not going to bite the hand that feeds them and thus why the smart dancers treat us the way they do (as if we are the greatest thing slnce sliced-bread) - enjoy the strip-club for what it is - a nice escape in the company of attractive women - not a dating app.

And one final thing (yeah I can't shut-up).

We are all a work in progress - in the context of being an SCer many of us have been where you are - i.e. we learn and progress as we have more information and gain more knowledge - at least your are asking questions and you found a place (TUSCL) w/ a lot of experienced SCers that have been there done that in terms of the good and the bad - you will learn at your own pace and will adjust your SCing at your own pace and as you are ready - learning often takes time - but the story of PLs spending tens of thousands on dancers just to realize it was all smoke and mirrors IME is far more common than the stories of dancers falling for PLs - again not that it can't happen - just seems to be what the statistics are.

hmmm. if timothyjames goal is to make her fall for him(not sure that is his goal as he admitted he needs a gf), it probably doesnt matter how much he spends on her or doesnt spend. as for her not texting you back, typical stripper behavior. the fact you spent $1400 on her and didnt get any extras is fine if youre ok with that and have that kind of money. i personally wouldnt though, i rather spend that on a few different dancers spread out evenly but w/e floats your boat. i dont particualry seek extras either so as long as you feel what you got was worth the money you spent who cares what we think?

@ Timothy

Your post is worthy of it's own discussion.

Just a couple of thoughts:

* I am surprised the stripper did not respond to your text given how much you spent on her.
* I think you went too quick in spending that kind of money. It should have been a gradual process.

Post your own thread and let us know her age (you don't have to be specific), nude club or topless, and if you want to hang out with her OTC (it does not have to be for sex)

In the end a dancer does what she does b/c it's her job as a dancer & a salesperson - it's her job to pretend to like us, that's what most custies go to the SC for, what else are they supposed to do & still get our $$$.

Great comments guys. Quickly to Chessmaster's points, both about spending $1,400 and about feeling (or not) that it's worth the money, I'm with you. I don't mind spending $1,400 at the club, I'm not a weekly frequenter, so it's just from time to time, but the variety of spending on different girls is exactly why I was mentioning that I want to tone it back down from two 1-hour VIP sessions to either one hour, or maybe even a half-hour, so I can spread it out. It will help satisfy my carnal desire for variety, but probably also help in avoiding any kind of falling in fake stripper love, that Papi_Chulo mentions...

which brings me to Papi_Chulo's comment that really punched me in the gut (in a good way). I tried to squeeze myself into a female stripper's size 6 stilletos real quick, and see things from her point of view, and I think you're right. Even if a stripper enjoys the company of one customer over another, they must still see the dude that drops $1,400 on her as pretty pathetic. I think I probably would. I'm all the sudden imagining, and trying to get a laugh out of and not take personal, the stories that this girl might share later with friends or other strippers. These stories are probably nothing like "what I great guy, we had a great time", like they are in the dating world... and much more like, "what a chump, I can't believe he dropped $1,400. I hope he comes back soon because I sure could use the cash." Ouch! But serious, I try to see some humor in the stupid stuff I do.

Needless to say, this really is a great learning forum and I appreciate the advice. I chalk it all up to experiences and will follow my plan. I will go back, and yes, being a pu**y I will see this same girl, because I did enjoy the time. But I'll spend way less and gauge to see if the treatment drops significantly or if expectations are too high, and if so, I will just enjoy more of a variety of dancers. Looking back, that's what I loved about clubbing from the very beginning. My earliest trips were just tons of $20 dances from like 10+ dancers, and then maybe a 3-song-set with two of my favorites for the night. Oddly enough, emotions didn't start to take over when I wasn't in the VIP room for two hours with a naked chick, getting all intimate and talking about all kinds of fun and interesting topics.

Some of us have had the opportunity to overhear what dancers say when they are being themselves & "not in character" - I'm perfectly fluent in Spanish but most Hispanics think I'm Anglo, does I've been in a few situations when the Cuban dancers have been speaking in Spanish among themselves near me thinking I would not understand what they were saying, it can be an eye-opener.

If you never have, when you have time read some threads on StripperWeb.com , although many on here feel the dancers on SW are just posing, I think there is a decent amount of authenticity to what they say - it is rare for there to be topics there about having genuine feelings for custies unrelated to them banking off of them - in fact many of the SW dancers main complaints is custies wanting to date them & them having to play them in a way as not to lose a well paying regular.

timothyjames55, FWIW, I have experienced increasing levels of rapport/effort/etc with a dancer even when my spending on later visits might have been half of its early peak.

It seems to mostly come down to her level of comfort with you and what her income looks like with/without the level of spending you're willing to sustain. You could actually be hurting her comfort level when you spend $1400 in a night because she might be waiting for some unstated expectation to suddenly come into play. My gut feeling says that her company would be just as good at $200 in an evening, and maybe even better.

Looks like I misinterpreted TJ55's original post - I took it mostly as him being in RIL territory and trying to win this girl, and/or her affections, over, when it seems that maybe he wants to know how to not have to keep up the precedent he has set w/ this dancer.

For some guys is easy and natural to say no; for many is not easy particularly to a woman.

It's often tough to say no to a dancer that has treated us well in the past and has not done anything for us to wanna not be w/ her anymore/currently or at least not as much.

Often times when a dancer sees a fave custy she'll turn-on the charm and approach us as we were the love of their lives and it can def be hard to say "not tonight babe (in so many words)".

But - what's the alternative - for some it is to stop going to the club where the fave works at or at least go when they know she's not there; and for others is to keep spending $$$ on them - but most would say those are not the correct steps to take - the choices are to come clean sorta speak or keep doing something you don't wanna do and the latter just exasperates the problem.

A dancer will usually not be happy about losing a good regular just like most salespeople are not happy about losing good clients - just like dancers use SS tactics to get custies to buy dances or VIPs; they use SS tactics to keep regulars (pouting, looking hurt/disappointed; etc) - but dancers know there is competition in strip-clubs from other dancers and that many custies like variety and like to sample - they know this but of course they prefer one spend all their $$$ on just them.

The reality is if for w/e reason we don't have any $$$ then dancers will cut us loose pretty-much immediately and we as custies understand that - i.e. dancers are there to do what's best for them and so should custies - they don't owe us anything and vise-versa (except perhaps in some rare cases).

I'd say just be honest w/ her - she's not your wife or GF so it's not as if you're "cheating on her" - I imagine she will still treat you well if you are paying a fair amount for her time b/c she'd rather keep a fair payment than no payment by treating you wrong.

There's nothing wrong w/ a custy doing what they like to do in a club w/o having to be concerned about how a dancer(s) will feel about it - 99% of the times their only "attachment" to us is the $$$ - it is counterproductive to keep doing the same thing one is not happy with.

Papi_Chulo - I would not say you misinterpreted my original post. I would say it's both.

Yes, I am hoping I can tone the spending down while still having a good time with her, because undoubtedly she is my favorite, but in true PL fashion I do admit an interest in wanting to "win this girl, and/or her affections", as you put it.

I know for many it's about the OTC (and more power to you, no judgement here), so my reasons might be different, but for me it largely has to do with the fact that I find myself in Las Vegas one or two times a month, and often times alone. It's nice to be able to spend time in a club with a good looking, fun girl instead of flying solo at the craps table like I've done for the past 12 years of Vegas trips. I've mentioned in another post that my new found clubbing has entirely replaced my desire to gamble. This way at the end of a losing night, I have better memories and a dress shirt that smells like vagina to show for it. :)

But where your (Papi_Chulo's) original assessment comes in to play as not being wrong is the fact that my ultimate goal would be to actually see this girl outside of the club some time, socially, not sex. I'm sometimes there on business, sometimes for fun, but I can't spend every minute in the club. I go to shows, I eat dinner, I might resume a little gambling on a toned-down basis one day, and anything else that takes place in this cursed city.

It would be fun to do some things with a cute girl that I've built some rapport with in the club. I'm not interested in an escort, for my own reasons. I wouldn't say it's the be all, end all. I can keep it in the club if I must, but I guess my ideal clubbing experience would be hanging out with a favorite in the club for multiple hours, mix between doing some private dances and hangin at the stage or bar, all while spending a reasonable amount of money.

I think it's fair to expect to leave a dancer with a good chunk of change if she spends hours with you hanging outside of private dance rooms... just not $1,400. My concern is that I've ruined it by building some high expectations.

My gameplan, feel free to critique: I'm going to return to this club, and try my best to get my inner-gitty schoolboy to play it cool around the CF. From there, I will do maybe a 30 minute VIP instead of 2 hours like last time, and then when we are done see if she comes to hang with me for a while, or blows me off with an attitude of "well, that must be all he has for me tonight". Meanwhile, I'll scout out other possibles for $20 lapdances and see who I can make a quick connection with to possibly climb the ladder to 15/30 minutes private dances for some more fun, in case it no longer works out with CF.

*** Boy am I going to laugh at myself when I come back here to report that I did 4 hours in the VIP with the CF, instead of just 2. What a pu&*y.

As I mentioned earlier, my opinions are just opinions and not to be taken as gospel (more as FYI/food-for-thought).

You seem to have been paying attention to TUSCL and thus learned about the potential pitfalls of SCing and dealing w/ strippers - I'd say OTC can be like ITC "in the context" that just as a custy should know what to do ITC in order not to get ripped-off; a custy should know what-to-do/possible-pitfalls w.r.t. OTC so he won't get burned - so "in a sense" just as one could potentially get-burned ITC does not mean one should not step foot in a SC; same can apply to OTC although there are def differences.

I'm def no OTC expert or regular OTCer but have partaken in the distant past and have read many a thread here on TUSCL w.r.t. others' experiences.

Some OTC points/food-for-thought:

a) not every dancer is up for OTC (obvious point but one we need to remember - often times we custies think that every dancer should/will jump at OTC just b/c we are willing to pay)

b) some custies come to an agreement w/ the dancer in that they don't feel like keeping spending the same amount ITC but are willing to sorta supplement their spending on them (dancer) via OTC - thus you can offer her a reasonable amount for her time OTC and try to choose the OTC dates on her off time from dancing so she is not losing out on shifts (you can emphasize the OTC $$$ as it being additional $$$ "on top" of what she already makes when she dances, not as a substitute for what she already makes dancing/ITC) - but if paying for her time OTC is not something that you are comfortable w/ then this option is not for you

c) you can ask her if she wants to hangout in her off-time and let her know it's just hanging-out and not sex - she may enjoy being taken to shows and nice dinners w/o wanting payment for her time, etc - and she may be up to it to make sure she keeps you as a good paying ITC custy


In the end ITC is similar to OTC in some respects - IMO best to assume that just like they fake being interested in us ITC in order to get us to spend on them; the same often applies to OTC (i.e. fake interest) - but if one knows this and still enjoys them ITC then presumably one can know this and still enjoy them OTC - i.e. take the situation FWIW and enjoy it if you find enjoyment in it - not to say a dancer can absolutely never genuenly become interested in a custy; just that IMO it's usually not the case perhaps even more so the more one spends on them and thus the more the "relationship" becomes morphed by the $$$ - and finally - it should def being taken into account that the more one gets involved w/ a dancer; often times the more they may get involved w/ their problems too - i.e. it's not rare for the OTC dancer to start relying on the OTC custy whenever a financial emergency arises (or even fake emergencies when they just want $$$ w/o doing anything on the their part).

So OTC is doable but not guaranteed and IMO one should have a plan for how to go about-it and "how deep" they want to get-in or not get-in - and never get too fixated on any one dancer b/c that is where many PLs get in trouble (best to know/understand when it's not working) and remember there are plenty of fish in the SC which may end up being a better fit.