OT Depression

64 comments

• clubdude

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  8 years ago

  Or, maybe just take a long break. Re-evaluate and re-energize, then proceed on.
• chessmaster

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  8 years ago

  Well shit, that was a depressing read.
• RTP

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  8 years ago

  I think you need a trip to Follies.
• lopaw

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  8 years ago

  With the money problems it definitely sounds like you have no choice but to give the girlies a break for awhile. it sucks, but in the long run it will save you money and let you decompress from the current stripper drought & aggravation. Of course it's not so easy with your wife's situation. Maybe you will need to focus on doing whatever you need to there before returning to the clubs.
• blockbird

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  8 years ago

  You have a wife that loves you, and great kids and grandkids. Many of us can't say that. Count your blessings. It will improve...
• RandomMember

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  8 years ago

  @Gawker Anyone who stands by his wife when she's most vulnerable is a stud in my book. Also not just any idiot can become a HS principal. Things will get better & you'll meet another dancer.
• shadowcat

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  8 years ago

  Sorry to hear about your down turn. It will pick back up again but in the meantime I'll trade you for the cancer rehab I am going through.
• mmdv26

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  8 years ago

  YMMV applies to both clubbing and life in general.
• RandomMember

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  8 years ago

  Does reverse mortgage make any sense?
• bubba267

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  8 years ago

  Hang in there Gawker. I don't recommend it for the tender hearted, but if you ever need grounding I life, wait in the emergency room or ICU at a children's hospital. It puts everything in perspective for me.
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Ecclesiastical 3 NIV There is a time for everything, 3 and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, 2 a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, 3 a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, 4 a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 5 a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, 6 a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, 7 a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, 8 a time for war and a time for peace.
• ime

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  8 years ago

  First thing that came to mind before i read the post was Depression by the mighty Black Flag. Gawker go out and buy or download Damaged by Black Flag. play it fucking loud and break something and repeat until the depression goes away.
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Later on in the same chapter it says . I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  Yeah - sometimes when it rains it pours - unfortunately it's part of life that many of us have to go thru so you are not alone - and as Bubba posted above; unfortunately there are worse things that can happen. Sometimes one can't change their circumstances and all one can do is roll with the punches and have faith somehow someway things will get better - sometimes time is the only remedy although being an older person one is often cognizant time is not on their side but nevertheless none of us have a crytal ball to say that thngs will not get better in due time and when. Perhaps you may need to get away from SCing for a bit to focus on what you need to focus on - in reality SCing is not the healthiest thing for on'e psyche, *IMO*. Life has its peaks and valleys - that's just life - feeling down is understandable but sooner or later we need to recognize feeling down wil not make the situation go away thus might as well go thru it w/ a potitive atitutde since we have to go thru it anyway - as some will say "change what you can and if you can't change it then don't worry about it (and just do your best)". Try to find other things that can keep you occupied and entertained - and also a support group may be of help. "It is always darkest before the dawn" - i.e. there is always hope, even in the worst of circumstances
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  I believe God would want you to do what brings satisfaction to your soul from all the hard work you have accomplished from your life. Life is full up ups and downs. Trust in the One True God. The one you have always felt near you in your spirit. Enjoy all you can in this life...as scripture says " eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you die" Grab life for all it's worth, drink strong drink, make love and feast at a banquet. Praise the Holy One for all your blessing and Trust in Him alone
• sharkhunter

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  8 years ago

  I was thinking check to make sure you have proper insurance and go out and exercise more to get your heart pumping a bit. Exercise or enough of it creates endorphins that makes you feel better. Maybe the missing sex exercise is creating a lack of endorphins, thus you feel a bit depressed. If you exercise enough, either you'll feel better from the endorphins or you'll keel over and die and have a 100 virgins making you happy.
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Lol ^
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Last week poker chart makes me depressed lol [view link]
• gawker

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  8 years ago

  I never in a million years thought I'd be reading scripture on TUSCL quoted by Juicebox69. Is this the second coming? Or the apocalypse? Whatever. Most posters recommend a break from clubbing. Done! Being a 24/7 caregiver only allowed visits or OTC when I had a relative or paid aide available and until I get insurance straight, those are few & far between. Part of my frustration/depression/disgust has come from dealing with bureaucracy- insurance - banks - credit card companies, etc. All while being interrupted every 5 minutes by a confused, uncomprehending woman. And yes, S-cat, I wouldn't trade places. Thoughts & prayers.
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  Just take it one day at a time, when we are at our darkest days, better days will come tomorrow. As for your favorite stripper, she comes back, always has and always will.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  Yeah - dealing w/ other people (bank, cc, etc) when needing to get something done is often extremely frustrating & a major PITA but one has to keep working it till they get what they need. w.r.t. being a caregiver - yeah - that may be one of the toughest jobs of all & burnout & frustration is unfortunately par of the course - best one can do is try to get as much help as possible if that is doable.
• Corvus

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  8 years ago

  Gawker, yea, life's a bitch and right now it's shitting all over you. Things will get better, maybe soon, maybe not soon, but they will get better. Being a caregiver to an Alzheimer's patient is tough. It is among the nastiest diseases we deal with and you are a saint to handle it yourself for your wife. All my best to you.
• JamesSD

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  8 years ago

  Sorry for what you're going through. Alzheimer s is an awful disease. The cared for often do not appreciate their care, and can be downright mean. Minimally, they become different people. Can you lean on your kids for support? Or are they all busy caring for small children?
• rh48hr

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  8 years ago

  Hang in there gawker. Things will pick up shortly, but a break looks to be in order.
• Bavarian

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  8 years ago

  Hang in there bud. All the strippers ignoring you is a blessing in disguise. You don't need them sucking money at this moment and dealing with even more drama.
• PastaWithLink

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  8 years ago

  The Preacher (attributed to Solomon, probably why this dark but oh so necessary book made it into the canon) also taught about the joys of being with the wife of your youth. You've known what fewer and fewer of us will ever know. The Alzheimer's care must be a real bitter pill. Don't know if respite care for caregivers is at all available for you. Is hospice care a part of the situation? You will likely be at your wife's funeral someday and everyone will be there to lift you up through it. So sad how folks wait until then to step up. Any groups for "boring old men" in your area? A friend of mine travelled around with a group of 70's age musicians for a bit. He was the one with health problems at the time. Any friends of your wife who are understanding and skilled at care? Don't mean to be a fixer and solver. Hope tomorrow brings a better day.
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Damn good point pink Gawker you always keep a smile on my face...it might be the apocalypse lol I will pray for you and your situations Just remember what God said to Paul when he asked for his thorn in the side to be removed He was denied but was told God's Grace is sufficient to hold you through this time of desert wondering Just as God feed Israel in the wilderness the Lord will provide for you in your wilderness Let's not forget those blessed words of hope from psalms 23 Tho I walk through the valley of death God is with me and protects me. God is with you my friend
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Good point pasta lol I called you pink sorry..got it right on second glance
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Matthew 6:25-34 New International Version (NIV) Do Not Worry “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  This is a beautiful passage that basically teaches us not to worry because the sovereign Lord that made the bugs, animals and us, the God of the universe will provide for you Remember our true source of finances, material, love, etc aka you fill in the blank...all things is GOD God will provide for you God told the children of Israel not to forget their past so they could reflect on all the times God did provide Look to your past Gawker God provided that education, steady job, wife of 47 years kids and grand kids...Look to the rough patches in your past and find the spots when God pulled you through that God provided. As God allowed the devil to test job by removing his kids, wealth and health. The holy one will allow this to happen to each one of us. Why ? Sin ? That's what job's friends said to him, but later in the book God shows it wasn't punishment for sin or any other thoughts like this. I believe it was to pull job close to God.. see in our wealth and health we tend to ignore the Almighty. Monuments like these are tender one's...Your heavenly father wants to hold and nurture you...like job gained a first hand experience of God by these trauma in his life so will you my friend. Listen to the inner voice inside you...the inner path leads to God, love, peace, healing and so on
• TheeOSU

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  8 years ago

  It's always darkest before the dawn, just keep going, hang in there and things will eventually work out. A reverse mortgage could be the way to generate the cash you need. And a guy with your experience should know that there's always going to be other strippers available.
• Daybreaker

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  8 years ago

  Gawker, check your pm's.
• Daybreaker

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  8 years ago

  I agree with others, the lack of strippers and drama is a blessing in disguise. You don't need to be dealing with unstable girls who snap and insult you, it's going to make you feel worse. Sometimes being alone for much of my time has been the absolute best thing for me while shit hits the fan and I'm figuring out how to handle it. Be your own refuge.
• snowtime

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  8 years ago

  Sorry to hear about all of your misfortunes. My 94 yr. old mother died 4 yrs. ago after a long bout of Alzheimers. I watched my father deal with her care for many years. It is much worse than other diseases where you can still communicate with the sick person. I finally convinced my father that he had to put my mother in a nursing home. If your wife is still at home I would strongly suggest that you admit her to a facility to save your sanity. As for the depression, I feel for you. I had a close friend steal most of my valuables about 16 years ago. He spent the money and committed suicide shortly after that. I became very depressed and finally sought psychiatric help. It ( and many different antidepressants) did not do much good. However, I soon realized that money problems are bad, but there are a lot of people who are blind, paralized, etc. That made my problems seem not so bad. It sounds like you still have good health. Hell, you must be in pretty good shape to keep up with all those young strippers. Maybe a break from the strippers will do you good. You can go back when you are ready. Perhaps the best advice I can give you is to get more involved with your friends and make some new ones. They will give you support and help keep your mind off all your problems. As evidenced by all of the comments above, you have a lot of friends on TUSCL. Good luck.
• jackslash

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  8 years ago

  I'm sorry to hear your wife is getting worse. It must be very hard to deal with. You're a good person for taking care of her. I think there must be support groups for caregivers like yourself. Maybe your wife's doctor could recommend a group. It would help to talk with people in a similar situation. I would not recommend giving up strip clubs. You need some time for your own enjoyment and relaxation. Take an Uber to your favorite club and drink as much as you like and hang out with the girls. You can have fun without costly OTC sessions. God bless you.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  Gawker I'm so sorry to hear of your many hardships. But my experience so far in my 58 years in life (I'm not really 58 but I have to say that for Nina's sake) is that pretty much everything goes in cycles. You're up, then you're down, then you're back up. Sometimes you go from one to the other in an instant, and other times you move slowly, but you always move. So things in your life will improve, maybe dramatically, it's just a matter of when. You are my strip club mentor, the only person I know with so many incredible stripper adventures, and on top of that you're being a selfless and caring husband. I think that's pretty incredible. Hang in there. It'll get better. And do whatever you think best, but in my opinion I think you should keep playing with strippers as best you can. I met the DS at one of my lowest points in this hobby. Your DS is out there too. Maybe it's a renewed ATF, or maybe it's a new one, but shes out there and is just waiting for you to find her one night.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  This is not nearly as inspirational as Juice quoting scripture that is actually relevant and on point. But this is a reminder of what to do when the going gets tough. [view link]
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  : ) Enjoyed the video Mr.Smith
• skibum609

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  8 years ago

  I'm sorry but anyone who has financial troubles and is spending money in a strip club gets zero sympathy from me. You do have my sympathy regarding your wife's alzheimers because one despicable aspect of American society is our ignorance of the stress being a caretaker causes.
• rockie

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  8 years ago

  We are only "the world's most interesting men" when the greenback's are actively moving in their direction or you are providing a service that they are unable to provide themselves in the moment. Alex is one of the greatest actresses of our time! In your home life, you are a champion for your steadfast support!
• ATACdawg

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  8 years ago

  Gawker, I really feel your pain. I watched my father-in-law, a man who was one of the smartest, most vital men I have ever known, descend to the point where he would read the same page of a magazine twenty times - when he read at all. It was heartbreaking, and I wasn't even a primary caregiver. God bless you, man. You deserve it. I'll be praying for you.
• sharkhunter

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  8 years ago

  If it makes you feel better I'll share I'm a primary caregiver as well for an older relative, thus why my time has been limited and I haven't traveled to any meetups. I know many people don't understand all the extra time involved and how doing that can tie you up. Fortunately my relative does not have Alzheimer's. Just very forgetful which I hope is not an early indicator. My relatives on my fathers side have all died in their 60's and my relative in the 80's is the oldest surviving of siblings. Best wishes.
• san_jose_guy

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  8 years ago

  Gawker, I'm sorry to hear that things have turned so tough for you. The most important thing to do in such situations is just to feel your own feelings and not try to hide from them. Out of this they best way forward from here will emerge. SJG
• rickdugan

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  8 years ago

  Sounds like it is time to retrench and focus on priorities. Sorry that this is happening gawker and good luck.
• warhawks

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  8 years ago

  If it's any consolation, I can say from experience, that after tough times, it does get better, as long as you don't give up and hang in there, it will turn around and things will get better.
• Daybreaker

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  8 years ago

  The thing about the strip club hobby is the kind of people you'll often end up dealing with. I can agree with jackslash and JS69 that entirely giving up something that provides you an escape and a little happiness may not be the best idea. Keeping it ITC, maybe meeting some new dancers who don't have such involved and serious problems right now, would probably be a good alternative. Or if they have problems but you stay removed enough to never find out ;) However, a new hobby is also a good idea. I second a support group. I had a serious health problem a few years ago that came out of nowhere and nearly killed me. People my age had zero understanding. I lost friends. I spent time in infusion centers with people fifty/sixty years older than me who were wonderful. I sought out online support groups. That helped me a LOT to speak with people who completely understood. Also, when I was strong enough, I started yoga which I now can't live without. ( Just an example). But support groups, a new hobby, and something that provides release&escape. I truly wish you the best of luck.
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  I understand the pain Gawker and I lift you up bro My parent's owned and operated a resthome that took care of 60 residents. I also saw my parents care for my grandmother that suffered from this illness. My prayers are with you. I was born in a old family. Mom and dad was 40 when they had me and my aunt's and uncles wear 40-50s with grandparents being at 70s when I popped out. Our family usually live in their mid to late 90s even if we live like hell. Both my parent's died young at 55 and 60 when I was just arriving at 21. My daughter is a genius but our baby boy was born with autism..high functioning at least. We all have our crosses to bear in life. We all have our share in blessings as well. Let us praise God that gives us good and bad times For in the good we relish and enjoy For in the bad we grow and become stronger ppl Let's keep sharing and lifting each other up
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Would like to also toss out that I have a hard time keeping employment for some reason or another and have lived in shelters, tents and vans just to get by in life My sexy wife from my youth divorce me after 12 years of marriage due to me not seeking counseling over the death of my parent's But I have always been blessed to enjoy life, eat good food, make love to wemon and have some kind of shelter Thank the holy one for always providing...I have never true ly been without even in my suffering Stay positive my friend
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  As for now currently I'm making the most money I ever have about $36,000 per year...usually $15,000per year I've started college, have savings and a 401k I have a mortgage but I rent out enough rooms that I live rent free basically..and others are paying off my debt making it a great investment
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  Good job Juicey - it's not how you start but how you finish - keep it up & the best is ahead of you - never look back - always look forward !!!
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Bingo ^ and thanks Papi As long as you keep waking up in life you must never give up
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Life is alot like poker You can win even when dealt a bad hand
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  "You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them"
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  This is a wonderful community on tuscl This has been the best thread on true fellowship in this brotherhood Let's all share our blessing and suffering that we have experienced in this life Why share ? Because it will strengthen and encourage each member to stay positive, praise their God and strive to live harder in life I've enjoyed this and have been blessed by this thread Thank you Gwaker for being so open and honest and putting faith in your brother's to respond with encouraging words and stories from the chapters in their lives
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Love the quart Papi Poker has alot of beautiful metifours that relate to life Poker is luck and skill and so is life It's not about the cards your delt but it's how you play them and so is life In poker we will all get our fair share of flushes, straights, full houses with the fair share of our AA, KK, and QQ not holding up and so is life Poker is not about the one single game but the big picture of thousands of hands played and so is life On and in I could go
• Cashman1234

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  8 years ago

  Gawker - you are a good man. You are going through a very rough patch. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to care for your wife daily. It might be time to just take a few days off from dealing with the credit card companies, etc. (if you can). Leave the strippers - and their issues - for a few days too. Possibly spend these days with your wife - and just be "there" - I'm not one to offer insight - but sometimes the simplicity of being there can be therapeutic. The outside world might be shitting on you right now - but you are a great guy - and you aren't boring - and your age is simply a number. These things will pass, and you will be stronger for having weathered another storm.
• JuiceBox69

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  8 years ago

  Amen ^
• 4got2wipe

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  8 years ago

  Sorry to hear this. I don't think there is anything to add beyond the standard "I hope things turn around for you soon."
• gawker

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  8 years ago

  I had mentioned my "#3" stripper who moved away and is now working in a no contact club. Last night she texted me asking how I was doing. I wrote her a lengthy message describing every irritating issue in my life. Within 5 minutes she returned the most complimentary text. I couldn't have written a better accolade. For those who have offered advice, I thank you. My wife is being followed at The Memory Disorders clinic at Mass. General Hospital, by several measures the best hospital in the world ( for instance: one of her doctors is board certified in both neurology and urology - gets you coming & going). I attend a support group for care-givers locally and another monthly group for caregivers of those patients with fronto-temporal degeneration, which is a condition with many similar symptoms and outcomes but with separate research protocols. I frequently return feeling that I've got it better than many others - other times realizing I'm not the only guy cleaning shit off the bathroom floor at midnight. The financial crap is my own fault and is resolvable. I've got a court judgement against me from Amex for $20,000, and an upcoming court date where they're trying to seize assets but have just negotiated settlements on 3 other cards. Then I need to scrape together $50,000 to settle the rest and get out from under absurd interest payments. I've got a couple of hundred thousand in equity in my home but my low credit score is an impediment to accessing it in a reasonable way.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  Just keep working it !
• pensionking

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  8 years ago

  Every day is a gift. But why did today have to be a pair of socks??
• pensionking

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  8 years ago

  Seriously -- sell the house and use the equity to settle your debts. Get out from under compounding interest expenses, real estate taxes, maintenance costs, heating/cooling costs, etc. Also, think of the time savings with your life having a smaller footprint! Rent somewhere for awhile (maybe forever) and rebuild your chip stacks. Start spending your time and money on things that make you happy -- even in the moment. With the other burdens you are managing, relief from financial burden and homeownership will be a blessing. Kind of like George Clooney in "Up In The Air" -- to the extent possible, empty your backpack!!
• PhantomGeek

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  8 years ago

  Good luck, Gawker, and I hope everything works out for the best. I've suffered from depression most of my life, and the past year and half, with Mom's passing and Dad's diagnosis of mild-moderate dementia (in the same month), it's really been hitting hard, and it's especially hard when I see Dad slipping just that little bit more. So, yeah, you're not alone out there, in no way, shape, or form. All I can recommend is try to take it one bout at a time, one day at a time. If you have a list of things you need to be done, particularly things that you don't really need to prioritize, start knocking them off with the smallest, most easily accomplished thing and work your way up the list. That feeling of accomplishment can do wonders. Also, when you can make the time for yourself, take time for yourself. Drive, catch a movie, hang out with some friends, maybe get involved in a social hobby, like playing board games -- take time to just breathe and forget the rest of the world. That breath of mental fresh air will also do wonders. Good luck, take it easy, and take it all in stride.
• Cashman1234

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  8 years ago

  I hope you are holding up a bit better as the week has passed. There are some low lows sometimes, and it's important to hold strong through those tough times. I wish you the best - and I hope you are able to stay strong.