Truth or Stripper Shit?
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
The DS and I have passed a new, inevitable line in a stripper customer relationship. No, she doesn't want anal sex. But she has for the first time asked me for extra money.
We are smoking in the hot box. She says that she needs to talk to me about something. Whatever she has to say is clearly hard for her because it takes a while for her to tell me. From the way she approached the subject and how hesitant she was, I really thought it was going to be something serious. Turns out she says that she has a medical issue and doesn't have insurance to cover the cost. She wants to know if we can work something out so I could help her. She mentions that maybe I could see her more often for a while.
The way she made this request was the nicest way that I can imagine a dancer making such a request. She acknowledged many of the things I was thinking. For example, she acknowledged that many strippers regularly try to guilt their regulars into paying them extra money, that such requests have never been a part of our relationship, and she was very hesitant to ask because she knows that I value a relationship with a minimum of stripped shit. I have told her many times that one of the most awesome things about her is that she doesn't act like a stripper (except for taking off her clothes and having sex with me for money). So because she knows this about me, she is hesitant to make such a typical stripper move. And she apologized for asking over and over. It really was a very humble way of asking for money. In her words and actions, there was none of the stripper entitlement that we see so often among dancers.
She described the background of her medical issue which made her cry. And it's not an std, so get your mind out of the gutter. This is my dream stripper that we are taking about here. Obviously I know that women use tears and sex to manipulate men, but if this was manipulation it really was amazingly masterful. I've never seen her cry before, and it didn't seem in the slightest to be an act.
If I had never been to tuscl, I don't know that it would've crossed my mind that she might be lying. She really came across as very genuine. Plus I do know her very well, and I'm a pretty good judge of character and truthfulness. And I think she really does have this medical issue. And summer has been very slow, so it makes sense that she might have trouble covering such an expense.
But I have been to tuscl, and I have heard all of your stories about strippers' manipulative schemes. Hell, while she's talking I swear I can hear some of you warning me -- its stripper shit John, they all do this, you know it can't be true, run John run, etc etc. Given everyone's collective experience, I am forced to admit that this could all be manipulation and lies to get me to pay her even more. I don't think it is a lie, but I am not so pathetic that I don't acknowledge that possibility.
My question is how do I respond. I'm going to do something for her. She's never asked before, and she's the most amazing dancer imaginable. But I don't want to become an ATM that dispenses cash upon demand. Here are my current thoughts.
First, I plan to make clear that while I'm helping out this time, I do greatly value the fact that she isn't always trying to get extra money out of me and I expect this to be an exception and not the rule. I pay her above market rates already, and while she is totally worth it, this can't become a regular thing.
Second, I thought I'd suggest no (or minimal) shopping for the next few months and I'll just give her the cash that I wound usually use buying her things. This won't meet her entire need but it'll be significant.
Third, I'd like to find a way to see her more often. Then I just pay our agreed upon rate for those dates. The problem is that it's hard for me to travel to her town to see her more. I considered a trip but we already have our standard once every two month trip coming up soon. So I'm not sure how to work this but I'm going to try to find a way to pay her more without it being a hand out.
Fourth, no I will not give anyone her contact info so you guys can help her out. That's a nice gesture if you thought of it but it ain't gonna happen.
Any other suggestions for how I should handle this?
We are smoking in the hot box. She says that she needs to talk to me about something. Whatever she has to say is clearly hard for her because it takes a while for her to tell me. From the way she approached the subject and how hesitant she was, I really thought it was going to be something serious. Turns out she says that she has a medical issue and doesn't have insurance to cover the cost. She wants to know if we can work something out so I could help her. She mentions that maybe I could see her more often for a while.
The way she made this request was the nicest way that I can imagine a dancer making such a request. She acknowledged many of the things I was thinking. For example, she acknowledged that many strippers regularly try to guilt their regulars into paying them extra money, that such requests have never been a part of our relationship, and she was very hesitant to ask because she knows that I value a relationship with a minimum of stripped shit. I have told her many times that one of the most awesome things about her is that she doesn't act like a stripper (except for taking off her clothes and having sex with me for money). So because she knows this about me, she is hesitant to make such a typical stripper move. And she apologized for asking over and over. It really was a very humble way of asking for money. In her words and actions, there was none of the stripper entitlement that we see so often among dancers.
She described the background of her medical issue which made her cry. And it's not an std, so get your mind out of the gutter. This is my dream stripper that we are taking about here. Obviously I know that women use tears and sex to manipulate men, but if this was manipulation it really was amazingly masterful. I've never seen her cry before, and it didn't seem in the slightest to be an act.
If I had never been to tuscl, I don't know that it would've crossed my mind that she might be lying. She really came across as very genuine. Plus I do know her very well, and I'm a pretty good judge of character and truthfulness. And I think she really does have this medical issue. And summer has been very slow, so it makes sense that she might have trouble covering such an expense.
But I have been to tuscl, and I have heard all of your stories about strippers' manipulative schemes. Hell, while she's talking I swear I can hear some of you warning me -- its stripper shit John, they all do this, you know it can't be true, run John run, etc etc. Given everyone's collective experience, I am forced to admit that this could all be manipulation and lies to get me to pay her even more. I don't think it is a lie, but I am not so pathetic that I don't acknowledge that possibility.
My question is how do I respond. I'm going to do something for her. She's never asked before, and she's the most amazing dancer imaginable. But I don't want to become an ATM that dispenses cash upon demand. Here are my current thoughts.
First, I plan to make clear that while I'm helping out this time, I do greatly value the fact that she isn't always trying to get extra money out of me and I expect this to be an exception and not the rule. I pay her above market rates already, and while she is totally worth it, this can't become a regular thing.
Second, I thought I'd suggest no (or minimal) shopping for the next few months and I'll just give her the cash that I wound usually use buying her things. This won't meet her entire need but it'll be significant.
Third, I'd like to find a way to see her more often. Then I just pay our agreed upon rate for those dates. The problem is that it's hard for me to travel to her town to see her more. I considered a trip but we already have our standard once every two month trip coming up soon. So I'm not sure how to work this but I'm going to try to find a way to pay her more without it being a hand out.
Fourth, no I will not give anyone her contact info so you guys can help her out. That's a nice gesture if you thought of it but it ain't gonna happen.
Any other suggestions for how I should handle this?
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
75 comments
And so it begins....
In my experience (not saying it will be yours) this is just the beginning of the requests for money.
I held on to money pits for way too long at times.
The true test to see if she genuinely likes/cares for you is if you tell her "no" one day and she still wants to keep seeing you.
Or do the texts, sex, OTC, dates, etc.end?
Dang, if she's making half the money you've said she was making it must be a very serious medical condition indeed if she can't cover it. Give it some thought.
Still, the honey sounds like one in a million so if I had the cash, I would try and work something out just to showed my concern. Go in low, this is the first of many requests.
You don't say how much money she wants. If you can afford it and don't mind being played for a chump, give it to her.
I gave my ATF extra cash or "loans" from time to time. Of course, she never paid any of it back. Once she asked me for $5000 and I refused. If I had given her that much, I would have lost both the money and my ATF.
We talk about Stripper Shit. Try using some of your own PL shit. Tell her that you had a past Sugar Baby that financially abused you and you would like to help but are fearful of being taken advantage of and hurt again.
Look sad.
Ask her to bring you a copy of the doctor/hospital bills so far. Tell her you have a friend in the insurance game that might be able to help negotiating a fee reduction a la an HMO- or PPO-reduction and then maybe you could help with the difference. Or, maybe you could help her get insurance coverage -- I thought Obamacare precluded denial of coverage due to pre-existing conditions. Help her get insurance. Rather than throw cash at her, help her solve her "bigger" problem. Your advice and experience can be worth more to her than a few benjamins in the g-string, so to speak.
At least you might learn if the "ailment" is legit. Is its correction vital or elective? Can it wait until she secures coverage?
Is it possible that the "medical condition" is an unwanted pregnancy? If so, helping her pay for an abortion is definitely be in your interest (to avoid having her "perfect pussy" stretched out).
While living and SCing in Dallas in the early and mid 2000s, and prior to getting my Bachelors degree in SCing from TUSCL University; I tried to be a dancer's savior by helping her out.
Some of the lies she told me which sounded completely believable and she too had the saddest puppy face imaginable:
+ her dad; whom lived in a small TX town about 3 hours away had had a car accident and she needed to go see him and needed some $$$ – LIE
+ one of her brothers; one of 6 siblings; had been missing for a couple of years and no one in the family had heard from him and supposedly he turned up dead and was going to be buried in San Antonio and she needed $$$ to get there – True the brother had been missing but he had not been found dead (the family did subsequently make contact w/ him)
+ the doctors had found a lump in her breast (damn that is serous I thought; I was really concerned); and they needed to do a biopsy but she needed a certain amount of $$$ - LIE
It turns out she was living w/ her baby daddy all along whom she said she had left b/c he was abusive – true he was abusive but a lie that she was not with him. I subsequently found out abou tall her lies thru her older sistet that was upset at the shit she was pulling on me and her sister decided to let me know what the deal was.
She (my dancer) was young and not that smart; but the baby-daddy was about 7 years older than her and a street criminal w/ lots of streets smarts whom had NEVER had a job in his entire life and he was close to 30 – most likely he was the one pulling the strings behind the scenes and telling her how she can manipulate a guy (me).
I always had my doubts about all her “emergencies” and I gave her the benefit of the doubt although back then I was pretty sure she was lying with at least 1/2 the things she told me - but I let it slide figuring she was in a tough spot and needed to make up stuff just to get by (she had 2 very young kids) – but I never did suspect she was w/ her baby-daddy all along and I was basically supporting both of them (which was not that huge and issue for me financially at the time b/c I was making very very good $$$ back then).
As others have said – you may feel like a douche for asking – but you should ask her for proof and I get the feeling she would have a hard time coming up w/ it and may even try to play as if you really hurt her feelings by not trusting her (b/c she always thought of you as a great and special guy and she didn't think you would think she would do something like that and you hurt her feelings).
It sucks to not trust people and pretty much tell them to their face you don't trust them (in some many words) – but you deserve to be treated straight-up/with-honesty and not be taken advantage of especially if you are already treating her right/well.
I would say get proof and offer to pay directly instead of giving her the $$$ - do this to avoid being treated like a chump.
Having said all this – her “emergency” could be true – but it sounds too much like my experience and the experience of others – it smells like she is using the “damsel in distress” card which often works w/ men b/c we are wired to take care off and protect women.
Maybe time to bust DS back down to ATF? No way a DS pulls this kind of thing, right?
That said, you have to be honest with yourself. If your true concern is that she's hustling you and it's a precedent for more money than you think the sex is worth, ok. If you're a little bit hurt over the fact that it's a little bit more clear what you are to her -- and I'd bet $1000 that that's part of it -- you need to think more closely about the path you're on
As things currently stand there's no reason for a person not to have insurance other than they were too lazy to go get it.
She's pumping you for cash, maybe she really needs it, maybe she just feels like it's the right time to make the move.
I'm not saying she's telling the complete truth, but it is definitely not a boyfriend. I know her relationship status. It's also not an immediate financial need. She was asking for help over a period of months because the medical treatment would last for several months. So she wasn't asking for or expecting money quickly.
I have talked to her about health insurance. I had also considered offering to pay some medical bills directly.
This may very well bring the truth to the surface?
Or just put her on your insurance. She has what, until she is 25, to be covered as a dependent under a parents policy with Oboma Care?
And she's still a DS. After the sex we had last night,it'd take a lot more than this to downgrade her.
You are in too deep brotha – most of us felt sure what we were doing was right and we were not being played – in my case; the few people I trusted telling what I was doing for this dancer all warned me – but I thought they were wrong; “they just didn't know her and what she had been thru – she really was a good girl who needed help/a-hand-up” - boy – were they right and was I wrong – but maybe your case is different and your DS broke the stripper-shit mold.
Sounds like you treat her very well so the chances anything changing after gently saying "no" is extremely minimal.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them” (Albert Einstein – or maybe it was Juice – can't remember)
Forget what story she tells. Give her whatever you're comfortable giving, write a check or hand an envelope full of cash. If she spends it on medical bills or new jewelry who gives a fuck. Just don't give any more than that.
Are suggesting that JohnSmith69 adopt the dream stripper? I'm not sure if that's brilliant or fucked up! Perhaps a bit of both! ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5HkuhSE…
I like your idea of shifting shopping spending to help her out medically. Technically you don't get the benefit of seeing her in what she wears.
I also think it's fine and fair for you to do more sessions with her at the usual rate.
I'd probably stop there. She can work more, she can cut her expenses, she can finance her procedure. This is what normal people do when they have unexpected medical expenses. You're giving her extra work and that's a good way to give her a hand up, not a hand out.
Sounds like you treat her very well so the chances anything changing after gently saying "no" is extremely minimal."
I'm with this idea! If you're having fun why should you care? Maybe just push her to give you a little more of whatever you enjoy and increase your financial contribution. That way you're both happy and it doesn't matter whether or not she's lying.
I'd say "brilliant!" but this wasn't intended as a joke, so I'll refrain! ;)
It *is* sumer/vacation time – maybe the DS wants to treat her unemployed BF to a nice vacation in the Caribbean
4got, it is definitely not a boob job. She doesn't need one and she she knows it. She also knows that getting fake tits is one of the few things she could ever do that would make me stop seeing her.
I'm the biggest sucker with three legs but I don't understand why she came to you instead of her family
Does anyone have a legitimate story or situation where they helped out?
“Legitimate” and “strippers” rarely coexist :)
Ask yourself just two pointed questions about this whole situation and be absolutely honest with your answers:
#1. Can I comfortably afford the increased expenditure for this girl's new 'ask'? If answer is 'yes', proceed to next question.
#2 Does it really matter to me if this scenario turns out to be typical SS? If answer is 'no' continue along your merry way with this girl for as long as it lasts. However, if answer to #2 is 'yes' you must dump this girl and move on.
See? Dead solid simple.
Tell her you have a small shell company. You'll check to see if your company's insurance might cover it. If so, you could add her to your company policy as a means of supplemental coverage. Worked for Tony Soprano. Then, ask for a copy of the medical bill and her insurance Explanation Of Benefits (EOB) denying her coverage.
I would wager it would never get that far. She won't produce a bill nor will she produce an EOB denying coverage. The problem will miraculously disappear.
If I am wrong, and it is legit, you can then say that your insurance wouldn't cover it and offer to help pay for it, if you feel the need. Or offer to negotiate with the doctor/hospital for a discount using your charm, intelligence and experience -- it happens all the time.
Bottom line -- being somebody's Captain Save-A-Ho never ends well for the PL. Never.
Sounds like a great title for a TV game show
My ATF was divorced with 2 kids when she came down with multiple scleroses and she had no medical insurance. She never asked me for a dime.
I guess you have to decide if the pussy is worth the cost.
My ATF, an avowed drug addict, needed money for a car. She had an awful credit history, had defaulted on loans, utility bills, owed money to the court, etc. I bought her a beater for $2000 with the understanding that I'd only pay half of what I had been paying until she had "repaid" me. It's taking a long time and there have been other "emergencies" along the way, but we're more than half way there.
If she's not about to become a he, you might consider such an arrangement.
But then again even if its the truth now, doesn't mean how you respond now will predict what she may or may not do in the future.
It's nothing embarrassing, and as I said originally, it's not an std (which probably wouldn't cost much if that was it). And it's definitely not pregnancy. But I don't really feel comfortable sharing what it is.
I don't know what kind of money you're spending now but this just sounds strange to me.
Give a woman a fish, feed her for a day. Teach a woman to fish, feed her for a lifetime. If she really needs help she shouldn't be adverse to learning how to get health insurance. Just giving her money doesn't give her financial freedom just keeps herself in a burdened position. That's if you think she really may need help that is
@ Diva...ouch
My ATF used to make shit up all the time as to why she needed what I was giving her (to be fair, she was ok with meeting and fucking for it, not asking for freebies), but at some point, I told her that I didn't give a rat's ass what she used it for. If I could afford it, and I had time to meet, I'd pay her. If she spent it on food for her kid, or weed for her boyfriend, was her business. Once I give her the money, it's hers.
I also like you idea of reapportioning what you're already giving her, without actually giving her much more.
:). hopefully it's not that bad. many 19 year olds used to go without any health insurance without a worry.
I can't even add my 2 cents because everything I could imagine of thinking has already been said!!!
I gotta admit – that was funny
I've been played before by a woman who wasn't even a stripper. But she was a single welfare mother who could well have been a stripper if there was a strip club in the area. She got knocked up by a guy we worked with. For months after the announcement, the asshole continued to claim that he was a virgin. I got sucked in to the "damsel in distress" routine big time; even fell head over heels for her and all three of her kids. Delayed a move to the Twin Cities by a year. A little bit here, a little bit there, even more now, then a ton toward the end. She promised to pay me back (or rather, she promised that her folks would pay me back). Yeah, never happened. I wound up going bankrupt because she never paid me like she promised. And during one long-distance conversation, I suggested she and the kids move in with me in the Twin Cities; she told me she never saw me that way. Course not. I was just a fucking pathetic loser/lap dog with a wallet and good credit rating for her to use. Never again.
A couple years ago, a stripper I did OTC with tried hitting me up for some serious cash. I was driving her back to her house when she laid out the sob story -- again -- emotionally abusive husband who was the son of the sheriff; he's into drugs (yeah, like she wasn't); he cleaned out her bank account; she, her two sons, and her mother were living "off the grid" to avoid him -- and she needed $2,000 to move back to Maine to get out from under him. I told her, "Wow, good luck with that." That was the end of the conversation, and it was just silence until I got her to her front door. Like I said, never again.
If all of this really is on the up and up, take Estafador's advice: Give a woman a fish, she'll eat for a day; teach a woman to fish, she'll eat for a lifetime. Help her check up on her insurance policy, make sure that this procedure is or isn't covered. Help her budget so she'll take the brunt of the bills. Get her off the damn cocaine and other drugs; that'll save her -- and you -- a good chunk of cash. Quit taking her on shopping trips; teach her to save and invest.
Set boundaries, for her and for yourself, because I have a cynical feeling what she's really trying to do is test your boundaries. If you give her that extra $10 this week because she batted her eyes and gave you a sob story, she's pretty certain to get $20 from you next week.
Good luck, John.
You say that now. Entertain yourself and go back over from some of *my* posts from before 2013. The ones that sound a lot like yours do now.