In the last few months I've had at least 10 different dates with different people and after finding out about my job they all bail. One was honest and said he couldn't handle my job which is fine but the others just stopped talking to me all together. I mean I understand that no one wants their son bringing home a dancer daughter in law but damn. I cook I clean I put out and I'm fun to be with. i'm not looking for a marriage just a relationship. Whats up with the damn stigma of dating a dancer. Showing your body is not the same as sleeping around. Sorry just venting I suppose. Dating a stripper should make every person I meet run away.
i'm not surprised that you've had trouble holding a date once they find out. i think most guys would have a hard time pondering what could be going on at work with their girl
what I AM surprised about is that they stopped talking to you all together......that's taking it too far.
I'm afraid that the double standard lives, poledancer. Or maybe it's because guys can't stand to think that other guys are doing to their girl what they do or try to do with strippers.
Possibly they don't want to be saddled with the stereotype of a dancer's bf being a lazy, shiftless drug user.
None of the above is intended as humor. Good luck PD. There are a few guys out there who will be able to get past your career and be productive members of society, but they will be hard to find.
Before I ever dated a stripper, I already knew I couldn't have handled it -- maybe if we were casually dating, but not once I started developing real feelings. Plus, "showing your body is not the same as sleeping around", in most areas, we know extras and OTC are available, so I could understand that the uncertainty around it all is a problem. Like GoVikings, I definitely don't understand ceasing all communication with you. I totally understand the venting, totally sucks for you, and sucks to be judged by your occupation.
Alas, having had experience dating a few strippers and establishing close friendships with a few more, everything I said above goes triple. I realize everyone is an individual, and you might be one of those women who breaks the mold, but my experiences have been very consistent (emotional damage, alcohol abuse, inability to plan ahead, total unreliability in following through on commitments). I still love hanging out with strippers, but would not let myself slip into anything deeper, it's just been too horrible of an experience, and I have to protect myself, too.
PD, I know a dancer in Charlotte who is married to a guy she met while dancing for him. She told me that he pursued it not her. They have been married for 3 years and he wants her to quit, but she has not. Anyway, seems like a guy with a decent job, so it can happen, just not too often.
I think you will find somebody! Everybody deserves respect and the guy who told you where he's coming from at least respected you enough to tell you how he felt, so brilliant! The other guys are d-bags! :(
Just keep trying but keep it honest like you have been doing! Don't hide yourself from others! Nothing to be ashamed of! :)
I suggest not being so quick to blame it on dancing and consider digging deeper into other personality traits which would drive these dudes away. You could just be nuts.
As for seasoned guys that go to strip clubs (like most on this board) we assume most strippers are having sex with customers inside or outside of the club for extra money. Yes I personally realize not all strippers are like that but it's a stigma that comes with the territory.
If we think that, and we know more about the ins and outs of strip clubs imagine what a guy who doesn't go to strip clubs thinks what goes on? When guys and girls get older they tend to remove as many risks as they can from their lives and to many, dating a stripper is much too risky.
As for me every stripper I had any sort of relationship with I would not consider dating seriously. Although most were gorgeous, almost all of them had multiple kids by multiple guys, and several had been divorced more than once, some had issues in the past with the law, and lastly some were just bat shit crazy. I stuck around somewhat because they all were attractive to me, fun to be around and almost always treated me well and respectfully. But for these girls there was just too much drama in their personal lives that I would ever be willing to deal with on a daily basis.
Your going for weak ass simp bitches. It always boggles my mind that dancers don't date customers when in fact they are guys with money who are at least somewhat aware of what you do for a living and would be at least a little more understanding of it.
Yet another example of females making their lives harder than it needs to be.
I didn't know there was a stigma of dating a dancer. Well among certain relatives I understand. Other than that no problem. I don't usually tell anyone who I'm seeing anyway so it doesn't matter much to me. There was a time that I promised myself that I would never go out with another dancer. I think I stereotyped all dancers as being unreliable in setting times to do things and a bit frustrating at other times. My memory isn't that great. I passed up going out with one nice dancer because of that promise. Another dancer got me to break it especially since I couldn't remember why.
I could handle the fact the dancer is getting naked and strangers are pawing her every day since as swingers I've seen my wife do a hell of a lot more than dancers do. The reason I would never date a dancer is simple; 1) It would violate the current agreement I have with my wife, which could b changed, except for reason 2) which is after doing this for close to 40 years I have met a sum total of zero dancers I have enough in common with to hang out together in real life. If a woman doesn't ski like an expert; like hiking and the outdoors; occasionally, legally break 100 on the golf course and WALK; love long drives in the car; get high, but not other drugs; play poker; enjoy casinos on her own money and isn't fucking hysterically funny and can crack me up, then all I am doing is missing out, because my wife is all of that. What my wife isn't is 22 and a different woman,t I haven't been with for over 25 years, which my dick appreciates.The only reason I go, because the sex as far as technical skill and quality is never as good..
I think all dancers face this issue. At least the ones I know closely all have a similar struggle. This is one of the main reasons that strippers have such looser boyfriends.
One solution that I know a few dancers have followed is to get a girlfriend who is also a dancer. But of course that only works if you're into women.
Most in the general public think strippers are doing the customers and are on drugs, that is just the stereo type that seems to be out there. For too many performers the stereo type is true, I hope you are not one of the stereotypical ones.
But then again It might not be what you do for a living so much as other habits or traits or who you are meeting. So far I have only met a few strippers I would consider dating. Most of the rest could not make it in the real world and have very little between their ears that dose not directly relate to stripping. It is "easy money" but it comes at a cost.
It may be small consolation for you to know people ghost all the time in the dating world. I went on my share of good first dates where the girl disappeared after. In some cases the chemistry was limited, buy others involved making out or sex on the first or second date.
I'm not sure if you are a 5 day a week dancer or a 1 or 2 night moonlighter with a day job. Either schedule can be tough for 9 to 5 day job guys to deal with. Most of my dates happened on Friday or Saturday night, which a lot of dancer work.
I think GACA makes a good point about being open to dating customers. Feel free to avoid us old married perverts. But there are young guys who go to the club partially out of loneliness. Sure, they are horny too, but literally every guy on the planet jerks off to porn. You don't have to date every customer. By all means be picky. But if you are genuinely attracted to a guy you meet at a club, why not give him a shot?
Well OP the way you describe teh dudes, my guess is it isn't your job is the problem, but the kind of guys you are dating. You may be attracted to asshole men, its pretty common especially among strippers, unfortunately.
JS99, the dancer girlfriend thing can create drama and fuck with a girl's money. I'm aware of a situation where two dancers were together and one ended up having to quit the club when it went sour.
Everyone has different expectations and yes there is a double standard especially in the USA.
I would rather date a dancer than a lawyer or politician. At least dancers are human and many earn an honest living...lawyers, bureaucrats and politicians are diseased subhuman vermin that should be treated accordingly.
Most guys are not comfortable with their woman being naked in front of strangers and at the very least quite possibly being groped – I would venture to say most decent guys would not like it and most of the ones that would not care may not be the types a woman would want as a BF.
And I would think the opposite applies also – I don't think most women would want to date a guy in the sex biz.
Hell – it has been posted here plenty of times about dancers stating they would/do not date guys that go to strip clubs as custies.
PD I would say your odds are improved if pursuing and older, divorced men, He should be more mature, more rational. He should know more of what he wants and what he can handle. You can be his DS!!
pensionking - I strongly disagree. I'm 73, divorced, mature and rational and I have no desire to get into a serious relationship with a stripper or any other female for that matter.
LOL OK Shadow! I guess I mean more like late 30s or 40s. Yeah, I could see why at 73 I wouldn't want a serious relationship with anyone either. I would wanna do what I wanna do!!
PD..... Try not to get frustrated. It takes a lot for many men to see their girl just get flirted with, with out going off the deep end. Let alone let be accepting of their GF taking off their clothes for a living. You need to find that man that is confident enough that he knows it is a job and trusts you. One that knows you are only going to go home to him and not some guy with a wad of cash. You need a guy who is secure enough in his own actions and beliefs that he doesn't care what others think and just as long and he and you are happy. You will find that guy someday. Keep your head up and shoot me a pm if you don't want to discuss stuff here in the open.
In all honesty; based on your own experience and that of many other dancers; you probably either have to quit dancing to find a decent guy to be in a relationship with or you would have to keep him in the dark – the latter is feasible if only casually dating but harder if in a relationship.
It's a catch 22 situation. You want to be independent and work yet the majority of people just aren't secure enough to have their SO to be naked and get groped by numerous other people every night while they're sitting at home knowing you're naked at work. They might like the idea of dating a stripper but once they do start the majority will want you to quit. Then you'll no longer be an independent working woman making the kind of money you're used too which obviously won't work for you. It'd be like you dating a cop or fireman and telling them you want them to quit because you don't like their hours or the fact that you worry about them getting killed. It's what they do and you have to get used to it. Just like hopefully you'll eventually find someone who can get used to what you do.
Im the mean time I like GACA's suggestion and more strippers should do it. Date customers because they already know what you do. I know mrs sea wouldn't have any issues with us dating a stripper.
I need to clarify that. I'm not talking about an actual dating relationship so I guess it's not really the point PD was asking about. We would get together with a stripper from time to time but it wouldn't be what you'd call a relationship. Damn, we need an edit button...lol
maybe they don't want to bring home a stripper to mama. Maybe they can't handle the "stressful" lifestyle and personal problems of strippers. They probably aren't used to living on the edge and have been raised in comfortable homes unaccustomed to drug use or baby mama drama surrounding them. Probably would explain why many strippers date "deadbeats" because the deadbeat can relate better than that whale in the club. I have the best of both worlds, clean cut but grew up around drugs and bums so a stripper lifestyle is nothing more than another day in the life.
On one hand, I have had the exact opposite problem. I desperately wanted to date (actual real date, not P4P) two strippers I've met in the past. Obviously, the first problem was I was kind of a desperate smuck at the time. Both were adamant that they would not date a customer while working in this club. I fumbled the ball so to speak with dancer #1 when she left the biz.
Maybe I'm a bit weird, but dating a playboy model or high end stripper would make me fell like such a stud. Although, to be honest, I'm probably not secure enough in myself for something like that to work long term.
On the other hand... boy am I glad I didn't get what I thought I wanted. As time pasted I found out more about the baggage these girls had in their lives. Getting involved with one of them would have really f-ed up my life. For those of us who have being in the hobby long enough, we know what the odds are for a stripper with a sane life outside of work. (not saying you aren't... just want the odds are.)
Over time, I have come to the conclusion that one of the biggest hurdles to dating a stripper isn't herself, but the people she associates with. Would a guy really want 2-3 of her co-workers in the wedding party?
As for the comments by RTP, that would f-ing piss me off. I can see dating a stripper so long as she has a exit plan. IMO, stripping can make sense to work your way through college. But once you starting get to be 25-30 and don't have employment that you can put on a mortgage application... that's a problem.
@mjx i dont see the problem of having your stripper girlfriend inviting 2-3 of her coworkers. Their people too. Could you explain that to me. Perhaps im too young to understand without a proper explanation.
"@mjx i dont see the problem of having your stripper girlfriend inviting 2-3 of her coworkers. Their people too. Could you explain that to me. Perhaps im too young to understand without a proper explanation."
Brilliant point Estafador! If the specific co-workers are likely to behave inappropriately then don't invite! But there are folks that might have a "respectable" job that will act like idiots at a wedding too!
If I had a stripper fiancé that would mean I trusted her judgement to behave within the boundaries of our relationship! I wouldn't move forward with a wedding if we weren't both happy with where we're going in a relationship! :(
First off, I disagree with the notion that most strip club customers think that strippers are fucking the customers. Based on my observations, *most* customers don't realize that any fucking goes on at all; they've bought into the whole fantasy and honestly believe Chris Rock's "there is no sex in the champagne room."
The regular posters here are not typical of strip club goers in general.
So I don't think it's because they think you're a slut or a whore. I suspect it has more to do with their view of women's "proper" role, i.e. that of a companion for a man. They're not really comfortable with a women who, *gasp*, lives her life for herself. Many men are also not comfortable with a woman who is comfortable enough with herself to be able to display her body to anyone with the money to pony up. "That's just not right!"
It's not the stripping per se, it's what the stripping says about your independence and self sufficiency that scares them away.
Hey Poledancer, it's like dating a porn star for most men, even if you don't do extras. It's an occupational hazard. The one advantage a dancer has in dating a hobbiest is that at least they know the score. We often post, "Never date a dancer" because of the large % of flakes...I've posted that too. But if you're not a flake, meaning you're dependable, punctual, and not using sex for money with someone you actually like, you'll find someone you can live with. I have news for you: civi girls have to deal with a lot of ignorant men too.
Will also add that the work hours of a stripper really suck. Most clubs close at 2am or 4am. Throw in a commute and many dancer don't get home until 5-6am. If the average guy was at home waiting for his dancer girl to come home, he'd have to be very comfortable with her deciding to fuck anyone she pleased. Otherwise, he'd go nuts wondering every night whether she's fucking someone after work.
In general, strippers' lives are filled with massive drama. Fun playmates, but wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship with one.
Without TUSCL I never would have known how much goes on ITC. Although I've had strippers offer me extras while on the floor...
I don't think "most" strippers fuck for cash, at least in the "upscale " clubs in my market. In fact, one of the clubs I'd be fine with a SO dancing at... the girls are hot but the mileage is awful. But at my favorite club a truly clean dancer who isn't a 9 struggles.
@Estafador... many of the comments in this thread clearly allude to a high % of dancers being flakes and/or nuts and/or having various live problems. You manage to find the 1/100 that has her life together and an exit plan. Any friends she has from the club would statistically fall in the other 99/100 that are messed up. Working in a strip club surrounds you with bad influences (drugs, alcohol, etc). Maybe it doesn't rub off on you gf directly, but she's probably tolerant of her friends habits (otherwise they probably would not become friends). Does a level headed guy really want extraneous strip club nonsense orbiting around his gf?
Take my dancer#1 for example. Nice girl. College graduate with a degree in a field that I'd guess averages $40-50k/year, with decent/good benefits. (Better than that if tied in with an effective union.) Basically working full time, and stripping weekends for some extra money because she started living on her own since she didn't have roommate/bf to split rent. Realized somewhat after the fact... her friends (club and civies) were not really people I wanted to be around.
Is this true with civies too? Absolutely. Lots of civies have shit friends to. The point is, you odds are way worse when there is a strip club involved, and, IMO, higher odds the stripper baggage is worse than average civies baggage.
There are some pretty messed up civies out there too. I heard stories (unconfirmed) about this civie girl I used to work with. She's well educated, had a good job then and moved onto a better opportunity. For the few years she worked for my employer, I though she'd be pretty ideal GF material, if she was single (they never are). (and the whole fishing off the company pier thing didn't bother me.) Eventually, started hearing that she was a basket case with her then BF, her cheating, lots of drama outside work. Never would have guessed it.
One reason guys are afraid to date dancers is that dancers can be the target of a lot of harassment. Guys are afraid of having to get into a lot confrontations with harassers. One stripper I knew was married to a guy with a martial arts black belt. If anyone hassled his wife, he didn't think twice about getting right up in the harasser's face. You just have to be a little careful, because sometime guys get into martial arts, boxing or UF cause they are bad tempered and fascinated by violence.
You maybe might want to do a little soul searching about how YOU feel about dancing. Do you yourself see any good reason to feel like it's nasty? If you don't, you probably wouldn't be very compatible with someone who felt it was anyway. Like ATAC says, the double standard lives, and ahead of the curve can be a lonely place. If you do have a lot of doubts about dancing, it's probably dragging you down towards depression. You should look at making a plan for a new career.
@Poledancer83, you cook, clean, put out and are fun to hang out with. Hell, I'll pick you up at 7:00
Seriously, though, most guys are wimps and just not able to deal with reality or anything outside their comfort zones. And when confronted with a strong, independent girl, well, they freak out. Dating a dancer is certainly outside the comfort zone of most young guys.
I had a couple of lap dances last night from a very attractive dancer who I've known for awhile. She might let a customer rush up against her tits or ass but nothing else. Her husband works in the trades, they have 3 kids and according to her a good marriage. She works a couple of nights per week while he stays home with the kids.
Then I sat for awhile with another dancer with well established boundaries who just bought a small home on the ocean and she and her boyfriend paid cash for the house.
My point is that we all tend to generalize and there are many good girl dancers and real men shouldn't be intimidated by their work.
I see a lot of points about “... can't handle a strong woman …” “... can't handle an independent woman ...” - and IMHO this is not really the crux of the problem
Sure – there are some men that may be intimidated by a “strong independent” woman whom may even make more $$$ than them – but I don't think this is the issue w.r.t. dancers.
If a guy meets a “strong independent” woman that is CEO of her own company – let's say for example she is a CPA and owns her own firm; I don't think most men would not date the CPA CEO for the same reasons they would not date the dancer – i.e. b/c they are both “strong independent” women.
Have to agree with Papi. I saw a study in the WSJ journal that men want to their daughters to be "strong, independent" women (their wives, we'll less so). So while I'm sure every father would be proud to have daughter who demonstrated they were strong, independent women, how many fathers would be proud if their daughters ended up as strippers?
Lots of dancers have relationships despite the stereotype. Either the guys can't handle it and nothing you do can change it (good you weeded out the insecure) or it has to do w you and how you presented it. Can't control them but you can control you. The question is are you presenting yourself as a dancer who's fun, cooks, clean etc? Or a woman who's fun, cooks, cleans, etc that happens to be a dancer? Big difference. One identifies/labels you the other is a slice of you.
PD hang in there. If they can't handle you being a dancer then none of them was the right guy for you. Consider yourself lucky that you found out early.
Poledancer: This kind of picks up where your other thread left off. I know lots of dancers don't want to date people they meet as customers because of the same thing: a guy that frequents clubs isn't their idea of a reliable man. But that's the same prejudice guys have who don't go to clubs about dancers. I'm afraid it's just one of the prices you pay for having the job you have. It doesn't forgive the rude behavior of the guys who just cut you off, but it's not shocking either.
If you're looking for a steady relationship, I would advise you that customers are a better pool to draw from than civis because at least they know the ropes. The only reason I don't take my dancer friends too seriously isn't because they dance, but because they are ill equipped to shoulder the responsibility of everyday life. I do hold out the notion that I might some day meet a dancer who won't be a complete flake and I can call her an actual girlfriend; even my ATF is currently flaking out on me even when there's money coming her way.
Without throwing stones, if you can keep dates, be responsible with money, stay away from chemical addictions, and have the willingness to give of yourself as much as you want your guy to give of himself, you'll eventually find a good match. As I said in your other thread, even civis have issues finding compatible dates/relationships, so it's just a numbers game in the end.
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what I AM surprised about is that they stopped talking to you all together......that's taking it too far.
Possibly they don't want to be saddled with the stereotype of a dancer's bf being a lazy, shiftless drug user.
None of the above is intended as humor. Good luck PD. There are a few guys out there who will be able to get past your career and be productive members of society, but they will be hard to find.
Alas, having had experience dating a few strippers and establishing close friendships with a few more, everything I said above goes triple. I realize everyone is an individual, and you might be one of those women who breaks the mold, but my experiences have been very consistent (emotional damage, alcohol abuse, inability to plan ahead, total unreliability in following through on commitments). I still love hanging out with strippers, but would not let myself slip into anything deeper, it's just been too horrible of an experience, and I have to protect myself, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_MVaeaA…
Just keep trying but keep it honest like you have been doing! Don't hide yourself from others! Nothing to be ashamed of! :)
If we think that, and we know more about the ins and outs of strip clubs imagine what a guy who doesn't go to strip clubs thinks what goes on? When guys and girls get older they tend to remove as many risks as they can from their lives and to many, dating a stripper is much too risky.
As for me every stripper I had any sort of relationship with I would not consider dating seriously. Although most were gorgeous, almost all of them had multiple kids by multiple guys, and several had been divorced more than once, some had issues in the past with the law, and lastly some were just bat shit crazy. I stuck around somewhat because they all were attractive to me, fun to be around and almost always treated me well and respectfully. But for these girls there was just too much drama in their personal lives that I would ever be willing to deal with on a daily basis.
It takes a mature person, and one who is not insecure to date a dancer/have a relationship with one.
There are just too many things for a guy to think about if he isn't secure in his own masculinity to be able to handle it.
Of course, that's if you can find someone like that. It's not easy to find someone like that.
Good luck.
Yet another example of females making their lives harder than it needs to be.
One solution that I know a few dancers have followed is to get a girlfriend who is also a dancer. But of course that only works if you're into women.
But then again It might not be what you do for a living so much as other habits or traits or who you are meeting. So far I have only met a few strippers I would consider dating. Most of the rest could not make it in the real world and have very little between their ears that dose not directly relate to stripping. It is "easy money" but it comes at a cost.
Brilliant!
I'm not sure if you are a 5 day a week dancer or a 1 or 2 night moonlighter with a day job. Either schedule can be tough for 9 to 5 day job guys to deal with. Most of my dates happened on Friday or Saturday night, which a lot of dancer work.
I think GACA makes a good point about being open to dating customers. Feel free to avoid us old married perverts. But there are young guys who go to the club partially out of loneliness. Sure, they are horny too, but literally every guy on the planet jerks off to porn. You don't have to date every customer. By all means be picky. But if you are genuinely attracted to a guy you meet at a club, why not give him a shot?
I would rather date a dancer than a lawyer or politician. At least dancers are human and many earn an honest living...lawyers, bureaucrats and politicians are diseased subhuman vermin that should be treated accordingly.
And I would think the opposite applies also – I don't think most women would want to date a guy in the sex biz.
Hell – it has been posted here plenty of times about dancers stating they would/do not date guys that go to strip clubs as custies.
Im the mean time I like GACA's suggestion and more strippers should do it. Date customers because they already know what you do. I know mrs sea wouldn't have any issues with us dating a stripper.
Maybe I'm a bit weird, but dating a playboy model or high end stripper would make me fell like such a stud. Although, to be honest, I'm probably not secure enough in myself for something like that to work long term.
On the other hand... boy am I glad I didn't get what I thought I wanted. As time pasted I found out more about the baggage these girls had in their lives. Getting involved with one of them would have really f-ed up my life. For those of us who have being in the hobby long enough, we know what the odds are for a stripper with a sane life outside of work. (not saying you aren't... just want the odds are.)
Over time, I have come to the conclusion that one of the biggest hurdles to dating a stripper isn't herself, but the people she associates with. Would a guy really want 2-3 of her co-workers in the wedding party?
As for the comments by RTP, that would f-ing piss me off. I can see dating a stripper so long as she has a exit plan. IMO, stripping can make sense to work your way through college. But once you starting get to be 25-30 and don't have employment that you can put on a mortgage application... that's a problem.
Brilliant point Estafador! If the specific co-workers are likely to behave inappropriately then don't invite! But there are folks that might have a "respectable" job that will act like idiots at a wedding too!
If I had a stripper fiancé that would mean I trusted her judgement to behave within the boundaries of our relationship! I wouldn't move forward with a wedding if we weren't both happy with where we're going in a relationship! :(
The regular posters here are not typical of strip club goers in general.
So I don't think it's because they think you're a slut or a whore. I suspect it has more to do with their view of women's "proper" role, i.e. that of a companion for a man. They're not really comfortable with a women who, *gasp*, lives her life for herself. Many men are also not comfortable with a woman who is comfortable enough with herself to be able to display her body to anyone with the money to pony up. "That's just not right!"
It's not the stripping per se, it's what the stripping says about your independence and self sufficiency that scares them away.
Will also add that the work hours of a stripper really suck. Most clubs close at 2am or 4am. Throw in a commute and many dancer don't get home until 5-6am. If the average guy was at home waiting for his dancer girl to come home, he'd have to be very comfortable with her deciding to fuck anyone she pleased. Otherwise, he'd go nuts wondering every night whether she's fucking someone after work.
In general, strippers' lives are filled with massive drama. Fun playmates, but wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship with one.
I don't think "most" strippers fuck for cash, at least in the "upscale " clubs in my market. In fact, one of the clubs I'd be fine with a SO dancing at... the girls are hot but the mileage is awful. But at my favorite club a truly clean dancer who isn't a 9 struggles.
Take my dancer#1 for example. Nice girl. College graduate with a degree in a field that I'd guess averages $40-50k/year, with decent/good benefits. (Better than that if tied in with an effective union.) Basically working full time, and stripping weekends for some extra money because she started living on her own since she didn't have roommate/bf to split rent. Realized somewhat after the fact... her friends (club and civies) were not really people I wanted to be around.
Is this true with civies too? Absolutely. Lots of civies have shit friends to. The point is, you odds are way worse when there is a strip club involved, and, IMO, higher odds the stripper baggage is worse than average civies baggage.
There are some pretty messed up civies out there too. I heard stories (unconfirmed) about this civie girl I used to work with. She's well educated, had a good job then and moved onto a better opportunity. For the few years she worked for my employer, I though she'd be pretty ideal GF material, if she was single (they never are). (and the whole fishing off the company pier thing didn't bother me.) Eventually, started hearing that she was a basket case with her then BF, her cheating, lots of drama outside work. Never would have guessed it.
Odds are though, stripper have worse baggage.
One reason guys are afraid to date dancers is that dancers can be the target of a lot of harassment. Guys are afraid of having to get into a lot confrontations with harassers. One stripper I knew was married to a guy with a martial arts black belt. If anyone hassled his wife, he didn't think twice about getting right up in the harasser's face. You just have to be a little careful, because sometime guys get into martial arts, boxing or UF cause they are bad tempered and fascinated by violence.
You maybe might want to do a little soul searching about how YOU feel about dancing. Do you yourself see any good reason to feel like it's nasty? If you don't, you probably wouldn't be very compatible with someone who felt it was anyway. Like ATAC says, the double standard lives, and ahead of the curve can be a lonely place. If you do have a lot of doubts about dancing, it's probably dragging you down towards depression. You should look at making a plan for a new career.
Seriously, though, most guys are wimps and just not able to deal with reality or anything outside their comfort zones. And when confronted with a strong, independent girl, well, they freak out. Dating a dancer is certainly outside the comfort zone of most young guys.
Then I sat for awhile with another dancer with well established boundaries who just bought a small home on the ocean and she and her boyfriend paid cash for the house.
My point is that we all tend to generalize and there are many good girl dancers and real men shouldn't be intimidated by their work.
Sure – there are some men that may be intimidated by a “strong independent” woman whom may even make more $$$ than them – but I don't think this is the issue w.r.t. dancers.
If a guy meets a “strong independent” woman that is CEO of her own company – let's say for example she is a CPA and owns her own firm; I don't think most men would not date the CPA CEO for the same reasons they would not date the dancer – i.e. b/c they are both “strong independent” women.
"be proud to have daughter who demonstrated they were strong, independent women" by becoming CEOs.
If you're looking for a steady relationship, I would advise you that customers are a better pool to draw from than civis because at least they know the ropes. The only reason I don't take my dancer friends too seriously isn't because they dance, but because they are ill equipped to shoulder the responsibility of everyday life. I do hold out the notion that I might some day meet a dancer who won't be a complete flake and I can call her an actual girlfriend; even my ATF is currently flaking out on me even when there's money coming her way.
Without throwing stones, if you can keep dates, be responsible with money, stay away from chemical addictions, and have the willingness to give of yourself as much as you want your guy to give of himself, you'll eventually find a good match. As I said in your other thread, even civis have issues finding compatible dates/relationships, so it's just a numbers game in the end.