Have you ever lost a stripper/GF?

Corvus
Arizona
I lost a girl friend last week. Killed in a single car rollover accident. Driving drunk and maybe high. I found out about her death on the TV news. What a shock it was to wake up to that.

This was a girl I would see when I traveled to her city. A casual relationship, just fun, and no emotional attachment (I thought). But damn, what a waste of a beautiful life, a beautiful girl, only 30 years old and lots of fun to be around.

I'm still not sure how I feel. Sometimes I'm just pissed off that she basically killed herself by driving when she shouldn't have. A passenger in the car with her was hurt badly and is probably still in the hospital? The news video showed a car that rolled multiple times. And without wearing a seat belt she was ejected and died at the scene. Surely an unpleasant scene for those responding or witnesses.

Sometimes I'm sad she is gone. I've had girls disappear before. Others just quit dancing, or stop responding to texts. But never had one die that I know of.

She wasn't a dancer. She was a friend. She's gone to early and days later I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I'll never see her again and we had plans for more fun next week, never to be realized. Damn. Sometimes I feel selfish that she's gone forever.

Sad, pissed off, in mourning, depressed at times. I can only imagine what her family is going through. And I just keep thinking of her, the fun we had, the fun we were planning on having. Maybe writing about it here will help? I would have gone to the funeral if I could have traveled the 250 miles that day. And I don't often attend funerals. Guess there was more emotional attachment than I realized. Or I'm still somewhat in shock.

Thanks for reading, I just felt I needed to write about it. Stay safe out there.

25 comments

Latest

PhantomGeek
10 years ago
My deepest condolences, man. Sometimes it is the people who do the smallest things for us who make the biggest impact.
DandyDan
10 years ago
I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

I didn't lose a favorite stripper in a sudden way like you did, but one of my old faves did commit suicide by gunshot. I didn't learn about it til weeks after the fact, but I did know beforehand she had a meth problem and I suspect the meth got to her in the end.
jackslash
10 years ago
Sorry to hear about your loss.
tobala
10 years ago
I think we become more attached than we realize and most of these girls are very self destructive. My condolences.
ATACdawg
10 years ago
I lost two civvie friends in high school in car accidents; neither was driving, one was t-boned by a drunk running a stop sign at high speed - he walked away from it. One was an ex-gf for which I still had a lot of regard and affection, the other had been a close friend for years. Both were killed within a few months of each other my senior year. The senseless waste of it all was the hardest for me to accept.

I understand what you are going through and I hope that writing about it has helped. PM me if you need to vent any more.
Clackport
10 years ago
Never for me. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Stay strong brother.
caskel
10 years ago
"Guess there was more emotional attachment than I realized. Or I'm still somewhat in shock. "

Most likely both. For the record, I'm not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one on TV. You are likely hit with the realization that you cared for her more than you admitted to yourself along with a sudden sense of mortality that you weren't thinking about in the days prior to the accident. Although not your exact scenario, I have been through some sudden losses.

Hopefully, writing your post has given you an outlet, given you some comfort. If you're willing to post something so personal to the bozos on this list, I suggest going one step further. Write a letter to your friend. Not typing into a computer, I'm talking old school, pen and notepad. Be honest with yourself, tell her how you really felt about her, how happy she made you, how much you'll miss her. Tell her all the things you would say if you knew you would never see her again. Put her name on an envelope and seal it up.

The next step is up to you. Place it on her grave, put it in a lock box, or burn it on your back deck while toasting her with her (or your) favorite beverage. Everyone grieves differently, there is no wrong or right way. These are suggestions only, not a blueprint for recovery. Hope this helps.

For the rest of you: Sorry for the deep thoughts posted to a shallow board.
occurious
10 years ago
Sorry to hear about this, so sad.

Regardless if you cared for her or not, you are human. At the very minimum you are react the way a compassionate person would. It's a tragic waste of a life. Going to clubs by definition means we objectify these women but then again they do the same to us with regard to our money. That doesn't mean they aren't humans who make mistakes and outside of the club environment we react in a decent way.
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
About 10 years ago a dancer that I was very fond of suddenly stopped working at her club. She'd had a very hard life but seemed like a genuinely kind person.
We always hung out for a while and ended the night in VIP. Nothing illegal just lots of clean fun with a beautiful young redhead.

I asked around but nobody knew where she was. She kind of kept to herself and didn't have any close friends ITC. This was in the days before I had thought to get a dancers cell no.

Two years later I'm in her club and casually mention her to a dancer. The dancer is noticeably taken aback, and then tells me the news. She had a tragic accident on vacation two years ago and was killed.

I still think about her all these years later, especially when I'm in her club. It is so unfair that someone born into such a hard life to begin with would suffer this fate.

I wish I had some grand thought of wisdom to make this easier. But I don't because I don't think it exists. Life sometimes sucks, and it is certainly not fair. Enjoy what you have because you can loose it at any moment.
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
I worry about my DS when I read stuff like this. I know, everything I say is about her but get over it. You'd feel the same way if you had a DS. She is so young, carefree, and sometimes takes foolish risks. I can't take care of her but I worry just the same.
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
Being that I rotate among clubs and not into the fave-dancer thing; I rarely get to know any particular dancer very well, if at all – so no – I have not been in the OP’s position.

But whether it’s a dancer or not – it is always particularly sad, and particularly sobering, when someone we know dies what we feel is a premature death.

wms1066
10 years ago
Yes I have lost both a close friend and a friend who happened to be a dancer. One in a trafic accident and the other to mental illness, she killed her daughter while suffering a major psychotic break dawn. Both hurt, but given time hopefully you will only have fond memories of thse you loose.....
lopaw
10 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear that, Corvus. I also lost a friend (who was a dancer) last year - she jumped in a pool to save her 2 y.o. son from drowning, and drowned herself. But she did save her son. Some things happen so quickly and horribly we can only question 'why?'. It teaches us to cherish each day because you never know what tomorrow holds.
sharkhunter
10 years ago
It's sad to hear about a sudden loss of someone you cared about.

I remember one of my favorites expressed concern for me a few times.
georgmicrodong
10 years ago
A depressing topic if ever there was one. No one *really* close, like an ATF or anything, but there have been a fair few with whom I'd grown more than passingly friendly who have had tragedy struck. One I'd seen several times OTC OD'ed on heroin about 15 years ago. I never even cottoned to her habit; I pay more attention now. Another one lost her not yet 2 year old daughter to some congenital condition. Several years ago, a girl I'd grown friendly with lost her battle with breast cancer. Another one literally stepped out onto a highway in front of a semi-truck. Completely sober and straight, just couldn't take something anymore. Another was shot and killed while robbing a guy's house.
HungryGiraffe
10 years ago
Very sorry to hear about your loss Corvus. I've lost track of a couple of early favs, but haven't experienced what you have. Only thing close is learning that a dancer I had danced with once died in a freak accident where she fell off the second floor balcony of a club.

My sincere condolences.
rogertex
10 years ago
Stay strong bro.

It's a sad day when a cheerleader (a.k.a. stripper) is taken away untimely. May she rest in bliss in heaven.
Sobering reminder to take care of my favorites. Life is short - death is long and forever.
crazyjoe
10 years ago
Sorry to hear that Corvus.

I had met a dancer one time in a club and she seemed really genuinely nice. A couple months later there was a bilboard on the same street as the club with her picture saying she was missing. A few years later I saw one of those crime shows on TV that had her story. She had been murdered and burried in the Rocky Mountains. I knew the area where she was burried. I had been camping in that area a lot. When they showed the killers face I recognized him. I did not know him, but one day when I was in the mountains not to far from where she was burried I saw a group of guys on quads and dirt bikes. He was in that group. I never forgot his face because I made eye contact with him and had a very bad feeling about him that was very intense. From the TV show I gound out he had killed other women before and gotten away with it. He got caught on the one I met and convicted. Then the other murders got solved and pinned on him. He will never see the free world again.
crazyjoe
10 years ago
From what everyone at the club said about her she was a great person. I wished I could have known her better.
Clubber
10 years ago
I had a fave that got cancer and traveled back home to NY for treatment. Quite some time later, my favorite barmaid called me and said she was back working. She had no hair but wore a wig. She wasn't healthy and didn't work long. I called her a couple of time and she wasn't doing well. Then her phone was no longer in service. My guess is she lost her battle.
mikeya02
10 years ago
I had a one night stand with a girl when i was younger, and three months later I read in the paper she was killed by a speeding motorcyclist while crossing a street late at night. I hardly knew her but it was a sad feeling
magicrat
10 years ago
I have never lost a favorite dancer that I know of, but an escort I had seen a couple times was killed in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. She was probably the best looking/body of any escort I have ever seen although her service wasn't that great. Still, it takes you aback when you learn of someone losing their life at such an early age. It's also interesting how many of us mongers have experienced this.
jestrite50
10 years ago
@Hungry Giraffe was that the girl in Cleveland Ohio ? I never knew her because I didn't go to that club but I knew several that had known her.
jestrite50
10 years ago
I have never lost one due to death or accident but I lost one due to Irate Mother. I dated a dancer for 2 1/2 years until she introduced me to her mother on Christmas a year ago. She was 22 and me well I'm not quite 3 times her age. Her mother put the skids to it and she wouldn't talk to me or respond to my texts for about a year. She is just now starting to answer my texts but now I don't care I have someone else I'm dating (fucking; sorry just ring to be nice)
alabegonz
10 years ago
Nope, never had that experience, sorry man I know it must hard.
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