Sugar Daddies

I'm not fully understanding you. Why is it time to move on?

Will he give you more money? Does he want to continue some sort of a relationship with you?

Is it understood between you that sex and time and attention always cost money? Or does it not have to be this way?

What is it that you want?

SJG

That depends on how good a fuck he is!

Diva, unless you are emotionally attached to him, it is probably time to cut the cord. It's nice that you don't want to hurt him. Another possibility is that he wants to end it but doesn't want to hurt you and is hoping that by spending nothing on you (actually, costing you money!) he will get you disgusted enough that you will break it off. In any event, I don't see a future in this relationship.

Breaking up is hard to do (I think that was a song?) – anyway it is what it is – if you were not putting out anymore I imagine he’d cut you loose.

If it’s not working out for both parties then the “relationship” will likely get worse – but I’m no Dr. Phil.

In your experience as a dancer; how common is it for dancers to get cash on the side OTC either from fulltime sugar daddies or just part-time “admirers” – or is that kinda hard to know?

There's no such thing as a free lunch

i'd leave my DS if she suddenly turned ugly or had breast reduction surgery. Isn't your situation the reverse side of that same coin.

Diva, What is it that you want?

I try to see how other people are reading your original post. Do you want a Sugar Daddy who keeps you supplied with money without you needing to ask? Is that the issue? Do you feel that him letting your run out means that he is cutting you off?

Does he know that you have run out? Is he able to supply you regularly with that kind of money?

I think we are all interested in understanding this.

SJG

Maybe Diva’s SD bought that dude’s book about never paying for a lap dance and now she is SOL.

The way I see it, maybe he's broke, or he wishes you were in love with him without him being a sugar daddy. A relationship. Guess you'll have to talk eventually.

Just keep giving him the pussy and don't charge him for it.

Mikey I think you nailed it on the head

Sounds like this sugar daddy is low-cal/no-cal artificial sweetener

He'll move on once you show him that since he can't or won't take care of you (ie come correct with the provisions) you are more than willing to take care of yourself (read - find someone else how can spend).

Through the natural process of you having to take care of yourself you will have less time to spend with him, and deal with him in general. He won't like how it feels and he'll either find a new income or just go away.

Not in any universe ITC or OTC is it OK for a man not to attempt to play provider. You shouldn't feel bad because he won't get up off his ass to make more money. You have to take care of you, and a loser boyfriend too I'm sure. No way you can afford to have two men not providing :)

So, Diva, let me understand this...

The guy has been paying you to spend time with him, and maybe even have sex with him. And apparently, though I find this hard to believe, during that time he's come to feel like you have something more than a business relationship, while you, on the other hand, are only in it for the cash.

And now that the cash is gone, your business relationship is over from your perspective, but he, the pathetic loser, still thinks you care for him and want him. Which, of course, you never really did.

Hmmm....that's a strange one. Maybe Mr. Dugan can help you work your way out of this one.

Maybe its time to kick him to the curb and find yourself a new benefactor.

Diva,

Ever hear of 2AM?

@Diva. You know what you need to do with losers who think there is or ever could be anything more than a cash up front business relationship and won’t face reality.

These broke ass losers expect this, they want it, they NEED it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0r4uUQBL…

So be a good girl and give him the boot. And be sure you use your heel to crush not only his heart but also his nuts and any last delusions of manhood he may still have. I’m rooting for you.

Thanks for all the good advice guys!

Emotional Intelligence not usually a stripper strong suit. But it's not cool when a guy tries to pull the bait and switch on a female. Sounds like that's what this PL is attempting...

It's time to move on.

What I find interesting is the way she worded her predicament. I've spent all his money, is it time to move on? I don't want to hurt his feelings...

Not even a mention or explanation of why she might move on. Why? Well, it's obvious, right? I don't give a fuck for the guy. Everyone knows that, right? Strippers don't really care for the customers, they just want the money. Obvious, right?

Well, apparently not....

As I've read this I realize I'm like her SD. I've been with my ATF for more than 5 years and have gone from paying by the hour to "helping" with the bills, to being emotionally involved. I've bought her a car, paid for court fees &fines, paid rent, paid and paid and paid. Meanwhile her dependence on me (and my wallet) has increased and the opportunity for sex has decreased.
I've told her repeatedly that I'm not paying more, but she keeps pleading and I keep caving in. She's currently 1/2 way through a badly needed 6 month drug rehab program and I'm paying for her storage locker (furniture, etc.) and keeping her in cigarettes and spending money. I'm approved to take her from the locked facility to court and medical appointments, and that allows for some alone time, but I just can't go back to spending a grand a week as I've been doing for years. At this point I think I'll just wait until she's out and then part ways. There's way too many years difference in our ages to contemplate any other outcome.
Diva - could your SD be pulling away from you?

"Good advice?" You needed 8 PLs to tell you that your sugardaddy is broke? You couldn't figure it out on your own?

Stupid strippers!

No gawker he's not. Apparently when we met he had just won $150,000 in some kind of settlement and since he declared bankruptcy shortly before he was advised not to invest so he just spent his money until it dwindled down to nothing. Pretty damn stupid if you ask me, but I have made some stupid mistakes as well. I lost my DL so he gives me rides and helps me to run errands. So there's a codependency here but it was much more enjoyable when he had money.

@Diva is it really hard to find a new PL that willing to do the same thing thus guy was doing. Seems to me there's a lot of lonely guys around. Especially in a state as populated a NJ

And if you are a thick white girl stripper...

Wait I don't live anywhere near there. Damn, too bad ;)

Time to move on to greener pastures, Diva.

"He's emotionally attached and I don't want to hurt his feelings."

Do you have to mention that here?

What a wh...

You know you are going to hurt his feelings when you walk away.

What about the moments you shared? Was it all just pretend?

Man, you are going to break the frigging dude's heart/dick into pieces.

Now that he is broke, he'll have to learn the easy way to pull strippers out of the club.

+ Broke
+ Greasy hair
+ No job

Perfect!

Ass, grass, or gas, no one rides for free.

alabegonz sez: What about the moments you shared? Was it all just pretend?"

Al, baby, you need to start growing up and facing reality. Well, maybe you don't NEED to, but it sure would be the best for you. And yeah, a lot of guys here will never face reality, but you don't have to be a loser too dude. You're young enough to snap out of it.

Yes, Al, it's all pretend. All the strippers, and all the ATF's and CF's and whatever else you guys call them.....it's all pretend, just to get your money.

Sorry dude. That's how life is. Don't blame me, blame the chicks.

Dude, she can't orgasm, that is real.

Man, she is just soooooo heartless, just like my CF1.

Al, find a real woman. I keep telling you guys, find a real woman, and leave the strippers for a little fun at the club when the real women aren't available. Don't make them your life. They're just employees lookin' to make a buck.

Diva, I was going to ask if he was broke, too, but if he blew through $150,000 in what sounds like no time flat, the answer must be a resounding yes. The best thing to do -- for both of you -- would probably be to let him go. It could be his wake-up call to grow up, shrug off the fantasy world he's come to live with you in, and start making a life for himself in reality.

Time to fire him

He ain't no sugar daddy if he ain't got no sugar. It sounds like you've hit the disengagement phase of the relationship.

You could also find an exit strategy from being a floozie type bimbo hustling money from honest (yet willing) men's pockets, and enter into a career that requires a different skill set. No sarcasm here because Pandora's box once opened is hard to leave. Seen many a stripper go down that rabbit hole, but of course they don't have the courage to better their lives and make a long term commitment to responsibility and stability. The rewards are often too far away for them to see it and give up as soon as the challenges are too great.

Trust me, there's no shame in being a ditch digger if that's where you have to start.

Diva, I'm curious, did you end up with a substantial portion of that $150K and if so, good for you. And if so, I hope you stashed most of it for future use and did not drop it on miscellaneous crap.

@Meat: Nice sermon dude, but there are no victims here. Yes she was dealing with him because she was getting paid, but I'm sure he knew that and he was happy to use the cash as a lever while he could. It is not her responsibility to tell a fucking grown man not to spend all of his savings on a sex worker. That's like blaming the casino because some moron spends all of his money at its blackjack table.

He blew through 150K? I hope he has other income and savings. That is just sad if true.

I don't see any reason that you owe him anything. It's never bad to be nice to people, but don't do it out of guilt. Seems like your need for rides gives him the opportunity to continue to enjoy your company.

Not that it's your concern Diva, but I don't see any clear reason to say he was stupid to be your Sugar Daddy. There's always more money, but we only have so many years in our lives. How much "sugar" was involved here, maybe $30K worth? If he had spent $30K on a trip around the world, people would not be so quick to call that stupid or a waste. I bet he will savor his memories of you more sweetly than most people do their memories of big expensive vacations. You gave something that was worth what you got, you have no reason to feel like you used anybody.

IIRC Diva said he was and older fellow. Probably depressed maybe senile or off his rocker. I'm with meat on this one. I think it steps past grey ethically on this one if preying on vulnerable old people who won't time to rebuild us what is required to make money. Ok, now that I've gored that sacred cow let the flaming on me ensue...

Rickyboy Dugan showing us once again how much of a true faggot he really is pandering to a stripper on TUSCL just like he does on Stripper Web. Nobody stated it was her responsibility to stop this sugar daddy of her's spending, but did u read the fucking original poster's question? She asked for suggestions and I was the only one who gave her proper guidance for the betterment of her life. You're one total piece of work Rickyboy trying to be a hero to a TUSCL member who happens to be a stripper. Only a stereotypical PL would jump to conclusions in true Jerkoffson40 style like you do, especially when running your system for such a self absorbed overcompensating whore lover like yourself. You should go spend another $3,000 on a miserable OTC encounter an tell us how you saved that stripper from being homeless for another month. I guess critical thinking only comes when exploiting women via "the system" by Rickyboy. Saving one stripper at a time with overpriced OTC!!

451°F
Flamed...

Diva, you (bleep) stop this shit.

What if the guy is shit testing you? It's going to be your loss.

I did shit test my CF and she failed miserably and I think you will act the same like my CF. But that's just me.

Al, baby, let me understand this....

IF, as you say, some customer is trying to test a stripper to see if she really is only concerned about his money, or really will stay with him even if he has nothing.....and your response is she should fake the guy and make believe she'll stay with him, hoping he really does have money.

So you're telling a stripper to lie to a customer, and fuck with him even more.

Really?

You ever hear of "bro's before ho's?". Un-fucking-believable some guy would fuck around with another guy like that.

Dude, these chicks have you by the balls, and they're leading you around like a puppy on a leash. Sad dude. You've been around Dugan too long.

Meat, she was asking what to do about the guy, not for some ridiculous and nasty potshots at her life choices. My comments are consistent on both websites not because I'm any type of "hero" or "whorelover", but because I believe in personal responsibility. Just like I am the only one responsible for spending $3k over 18 months talking to a stripper, the SD is the only one responsible for blowing $150k on his SB. And the reason I don't judge how most strippers earn is because, unlike you, I am not nearly arrogant enough to assume a holier than thou position with anybody.

You clearly have some pent up anger. If I had to guess, I'd say that strippers both intimidate you and have taken you for a few rides on the pay-me-go-round. But Meat, if you disagree with my theory of personal responsibility and need strippers to also be your Mommy and your accountant, then maybe you should just keep your bitch ass home as strip clubs are probably not a good choice for you. ;)

rickdugan: " I am the only one responsible for spending $3k over 18 months talking to a stripper"

Really good System you got there, RickyBoy. Really good System.

RickyBoy: "I'd say that strippers both intimidate you and have taken you for a few rides on the pay-me-go-round"

Actually all one has to do is read The System once to see it's you who are the one intimidate by strippers. Hence your whole feeling that you need to where at suit to be able pay them for sex. Oh wait, not only wear a suit but make sure it's in a seedy enough club that you are the only one doing it to.

Then a whole theme of The System is how easy it is to get played by hookers on your quest for OTC. I'm willing to be you learned that by experience a time or two. Like the time you came on here all giddy with delight because a stripper had agreed to OTC with you then. Then a couple of days later you posted you didn't actually get anything. Just drove her around from dealer to dealer that night and even held her purse while she shot up in the bathroom.

The clencher of how intimating you feel around strippers is your whole paying them just to talk to you. $3000 over 18 months on this one, but it looks like it is pretty normal part of The System to pay for conversation. Maybe a hundred or two every night often when it leads nowhere/

Really good System you got there, RickyBoy. Really good System.

Is it really that entertaining to hide behind multiple screen names and troll other members while posting nothing about your own experiences? I've always been curious about how one becomes a troll. ;)

Anyway, I lay it all out, the good, the bad and the ugly. I spend my strip club dollars how I see fit and the only time money leaves my pocket is when I believe that a girl has earned it. By way of the previous example, if a girl earned $160 per month from me, it was because I found my time with her to be entertaining. Over half of my stripper-related spending actually goes towards direct OTC payments, but the remainder is spent on bar tabs and tipping ITC. Others may prefer to spend their cash differently and that is their prerogative, but after almost 20 years of frequenting strip clubs I have a pretty solid handle on what I value and what I'm willing to pay for it.

Like I said, personal responsibility. Nobody forces anyone to spend their cash on strippers. If we spend for silly things, it is on us. :)

Maybe RickyBoy has a point. A girl willing to talk to RickyBoy is certainly going to have to put up with alot and play into the act he wants them too. "Oooooh.... RickyBoy. That is such a fine suit you are wearing. Only the best polyester that money can buy? Ooooohhhh.... RickyBoy. Tell more about that snake oil order you secured recently. You sure a sly shyster to have offloaded that crap aren't you?" Almost like her word are providing him with a drug that he needs. A kind of supply of some sort. Think there is a technical name for it. LOL! Maybe she does earn it for an hour or two of actressing.

Dugan the dumbfuck! Anger is my issue when dealing with stupid no-talent ass clowns like yourself who couldn't get laid without throwing around some cash.

Personal responsibility was the suggestion made to Diva, but you would actually advise her to find another sugar daddy, like yourself maybe! Then all is well right? Stupid fuck.. then she eventually will be right back in the same predicament as before but years older with her sliding looks doing more desperate things for OTC. That's when u come in to swoop her up like a hero for an evening exploiting her for your selfish needs.

Words will never be able to describe how pathetic you are because of the denial you live in will not allow them to sink in. If I ever see you at the club again running your system stroking managers and dj's, I will personally come up to you an make sure everyone knows how to clean you out of your cash. That way you can meet a real man, instead of being a version of your father with a little money in his pocket.

Meathead, the reason that she's in her current predicament is not because she took this guy for a lot of money. Indeed, there are plenty of girls who use SD money to pad their long-term nests, such as building savings, paying for school, buying property, etc. My only issue with her is that she's squandering it by doing dumb things herself, like losing her DL.

As far as all the rest of that, spare us the emotional morality play. I'm sure it feels nice to spew something out of your ass for a change rather than having things stuffed in it, but it is indeed nothing but load of crap.

Diva, if you want to fleece SDs then go ye forth and all that, but if you don't come out of the back-end with something to show for it, then you've basically done it all for nothing. I've known girls who have paid for school, purchased property (here and abroad) and/or built up savings from these types of arrangements. However, I've also known many more girls who, like you, pissed it away as fast as it came in. Only you can decide whether you want all of this to ultimately mean something or not.

In any event, good luck.

Dugan sez: "I am not nearly arrogant enough to assume a holier than thou position with anybody."

And then he sez, in the next sentence (certainly not in a holier-than-thou manner though): "You clearly have some pent up anger. If I had to guess, I'd say that strippers both intimidate you and have taken you for a few rides on the pay-me-go-round".

And then he says (certainly not in a holier-than-thou manner though): "As far as all the rest of that, spare us the emotional morality play. I'm sure it feels nice to spew something out of your ass for a change rather than having things stuffed in it, but it is indeed nothing but load of crap."

Dugan, not only are you a world class arrogant prick, you are possibly the most hypocritical, holier-than-thou, world class arrogant prick I've encountered in a very long time.

http://www.amazon.com/Stripper-Lessons-J…

Stripper Lessons, written by the same John O'Brien who wrote Leaving Las Vegas.

The girl is used to always having a rich Sugar Daddy. She says, "I usually haven't had to work". She has such a Sugar Daddy now. He puts her up in a luxury town house, and he owns the building. He also supplies her with a Ferrari. He is a local Mafia boss.

But for some reason now he never has time to see her anymore. It has been a couple of months. The last time he took her to dinner at a restaurant he owns. But to do this he had to have them delay the opening by a couple of hours because he can't have people seeing where he is.

Now he is sending maintenance people and all to the town house, letting her feel that he wants her out.

She lives well enough in certain respects, but in others it is not a pleasant life.

She also works in a Los Angeles strip club. There she meets the leading man, the manager in a office full of lawyers. The use him like a door mat, and he drives a Ford Pinto which isn't going to keep going much longer.

How might it be that these two get together?

SJG

Lots of input going on here... In reality it's pretty simple. Do you want a relationship with him that is not based on money?

If the answer is no, then you know what to do. You said you don't want to hurt him, so find a way to cleanly disengage while minimizing the hurt. If he really is attached, you're gonna hurt him at least a little and there's no way around that. It's a cold hard reality.

If you want a relationship with him, then you also know what to do.

Either way it sounds like you two have some conversations where things are really real in your near future.

Jerkoff40 posted: "Dugan, not only are you a world class arrogant prick, you are possibly the most hypocritical, holier-than-thou, world class arrogant prick I've encountered in a very long time."
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Hey now, words hurt. ;)

But last time I checked, *I'M* not the one going around this board giving other guys shit for how they spend their money, you are. Also last I checked, *I'M* not calling a female member of this board a "floozie type bimbo" simply because she was a SB, Meathead was. I believe that makes you two (assuming you are even different people) the arrogant, hypocritical pricks. You claim to enjoy dancers and strip clubs, yet you constantly bitch about how dancers choose to earn and how other guys choose to pay them. In short, you both seem to believe that you know better than others how they are supposed to behave and even live their lives.

I think LeeH said it best in another thread. "I'll start observing your "rules" and log into TUSCL hourly just to see if you've posted any more wisdom...just as soon as you start fully bankrolling my SC trips."

For that matter, I'm sure most dancers would be happy to behave how you and Meathead would prefer just as soon as you start paying their bills. ;)

like most strippers, your there for the money. You rely on your looks and charm. When one falters all your money falters. Be kind about it, but let him know you have to earn a living too. And it will only be so long before your looks go no matter how high your self-esteem is. In simplistic terms, it's realistically about charm AND looks. Not either or.

unless your in love with him or something but I doubt that since you said no. BUT if you are, keep him as a lover and hit another sucker on the side.

Jerikson,

We are talking bout Diva who seems to about to drop this guy who may or may not any money left.

That sounds to me like a shit test.

I did shit test my CF like that and she became weird after that.

You know what she did?

Can't tell ya, I'm sure I did enjoy it. Awesome unforgettable experience

Problem solved.

So Diva,

Go head, drop the dude.

You gonna lose.

@Diva don't listen to Al he's a little bit bitter.

I respect your game. You keep on doing you :)

Dugan, here's the difference....

I never claimed that I'm not arrogant. I'm arrogant as all fuck, especially when I'm right. I never claimed I'm not arrogant. And yeah, I come off as holier than thou when thou is acting like an arrogant prick.

The reason why so many people rag on you Dugan is because you're an arrogant, hypocritical prick. And you're so arrogant that you'll never admit it. And you'll never ever, in 10 million years, ever admit you're wrong.

I have no problem, on the other hand, admitting when I'm wrong. I've done it before here. Because I have balls. And I don't give a fuck what others think of me. You, on the other hand, have a fragile ego that will not allow you to admit anything that might make you look bad.

Amen.

Jerkoff40, if getting trolled is the price of laying it all out there then so be it. What I am seeing and doing in clubs and with dancers is the real world of clubbing for many guys and I don't mind mixing it up on here. If I cared as much as you seem to believe about "looking bad" then I wouldn't post half of what I do.

And don't try run the "you're even more arrogant than me" BS dude. You're all by yourself on that one, giving people crap for the way that they pay dancers. What makes what you do any more noble? I have a very fuckable wife and beautiful children dude. Do you? If not, then what makes you an authority on how much time and money guys should be spending in strip clubs and exactly how they should be interacting with dancers?

Sorry dude, but the only arrogant hypocrite here is you. I accept clubs for what they are and take an open tent view on how guys and dancers interact. You are the guy who comes on here pretending to be a club enthusiast, but who holds such rigid views that he really can't enjoy clubs much at all, or at least not for more time than it takes to get 9 minutes of LDs. ;)

Oh there is no doubt that RickyBoy easily has the biggest ego on the board. One aspects of his self-confessed personality damage. Jerkoffson's is pretty inflated as well, but we are not talking same league as RickyBoy (jerkoffson have his own different type of "personality damage").

Okay, well I'm officially done criticizing Dugan. Too tiring, and this forum becomes a real chore and no fun.

So I'm sorry Rick. I apologize for criticizing you all the time. Enjoy your life, do what you do, and I wish you the best.

RickyBoy: "I accept clubs for what they are and take an open tent view on how guys and dancers interact. "

I don't know about that. RickyBoy is in here calling other guys pathetic "non-real men" all the time, when he thinks he sees anyone weak enough to not fight him back. All projection of course and just how guys with self-confessed "personality operate". Interesting he thinks he can get away with the statement above like nobody ever noticed this about him.

jerikson posted: "Okay, well I'm officially done criticizing Dugan. Too tiring, and this forum becomes a real chore and no fun."
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I hear you jerikson. It must be exhausting to have to tell everyone else, over and over, how they are supposed to behave in strip clubs, especially when they just won't listen. ;)

Diva
It sounds like you were just there for the cash and what you could get from him. Most Sugar Babies are like that. That's why I never get involved in that kind of relationship. It's a one way deal and I don't like being used. If the girl helps me I will help her. But it can never be one sided to the point when he needs help now your out of there. So do what you normally do " drop the broke ass mother fucker" and move on !

Diva1975 I don't know your spending expense, or how expensive it is to keep up your life style, but if you work anywhere near where I live. I wouldn't say I am rich but I just inherted some property and land from my grand parent, and the government wants to buy out the land, so I may end up being rich after all since I am the only kid. I could take care of you and spoil you for a long time, although maybe not forever....