Do you approach dancers?
JamesSD
California
I've been hitting the strip clubs a lot lately, but I'm fairly new to the game. I've found that the least attractive girls in a club are usually the first to try to talk to me, which is fine, but I also sometimes feel like after politely shooting down 4 or 5 girls, I get approached less, and sometimes no amount of eye contact can lure the cutie I actually want to come talk to me over to my table.
Should I even be interested in girls that aren't willing to come chat to try to earn my money? I'm not the biggest spender. I haven't popped my VIP cherry yet nor dabbled in extras... yet. I just always end up slightly disappointed if I don't end up getting a dance to the girl I find the hottest in the club, but I'm slowly realizing the hottest girl probably won't be the girl who works the hardest to make it a good time for me. I'll also admit I tend to like the younger girls, who may not necessarily have the best sales skills or be the most skilled on a lap.
Thoughts from the salty veterans?
Should I even be interested in girls that aren't willing to come chat to try to earn my money? I'm not the biggest spender. I haven't popped my VIP cherry yet nor dabbled in extras... yet. I just always end up slightly disappointed if I don't end up getting a dance to the girl I find the hottest in the club, but I'm slowly realizing the hottest girl probably won't be the girl who works the hardest to make it a good time for me. I'll also admit I tend to like the younger girls, who may not necessarily have the best sales skills or be the most skilled on a lap.
Thoughts from the salty veterans?
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67 comments
On the other hand, as the customer I feel entitled to be approached, dammit!
Here's my tip: There's a very easy way to show you're just picky. Stay away from the stage until a girl you like takes her turn up there. Then go up, take a seat and tip her. I personally prefer to make sure she at least gets two or three dollars, including one towards the end of her show, whether or not she has my attention, to kind of send the message that I'm interested. Then, when the next girl comes up, or just before, I leave the stage and put myself in line with wherever the girl I'm interested in is probably headed.
I don't like approaching girls, either. No fun for me. I love being approached, though. While this isn't foolproof — these aren't the brightest women in the world, and sometimes they don't take the hint or get picked right off the stage by someone more aggressive — I've found this is the best strategy for the way I operate. Might be for you, too.
What is worse?.........sitting idly by in frustration in a club waiting for your chosen hot dancer to approach you?...........or be rejected by that same hot dancer when you approach her?
In the first case you will never get that hot dancer in your clutches. In the second case you have a 50-50 shot at a 'Yes' answer for dances from the hottie.
Seems to be a no-brainer to me.
1. Wait around and try to make eye contact, I like to watch the stage when I go to clubs.
2. Tip at the stage, maybe give her a 5 or 10 and she will most likely swing by after if you go sit down at a table after she is done (hopefully)
3. Go find her and ask for a dance, as said before whats the worst that can happen,.. probably the same result you would have gotten in option 1.
But suppose you enter the butcher shop and the butcher isn't around? He hears the bell ring when you walk in, but he stays in the back room on the phone. I go to his competitor across the street.
One other thing to remember is that the cutie you want is also someone everyone else probably wants as well.
But if all you're looking for is a LD or two, then you might as well just approach the girl that you want. After all, what do you have to lose? It's not like you're trying to work anything more serious from her anyway.
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In my experience, girls who don't approach customers tend to be one or a combination of too busy already, shy, new and/or burned out. Also in my experience, none of these types are high probability OTC candidates.
Strippers are not mind readers. They don't know if you like them or not, and the main reason they don't approach customers is that they're tired of being rejected.
I used to be just like you, sitting at my table waiting for the girls to approach me. And like you, I'd have my eye on a few really cute ones that I wanted but invariably they never stopped at my table. So, like you, I ended many might nights with frustration and blue balls. It's time to step up your game.
Things changed greatly for me when I started going after what I want. There is absolutely no reason to be shy in a strip club. It is the one place on earth where you can stop to talk to gorgeous young women and unless they are busy with someone else you are almost guaranteed to get their attention.
These girls don't have ESP. They can't read your mind. They don't necessarily know that you want to spend money on them just because you are staring at them. Every guy in the damn place is probably staring at them. If you want them, you have to let them know that in no uncertain terms.
There are lots of different techniques for doing this. I think it's best if you explore the options and find out what works best for your personality. Try it a few times and then let us know how it goes and we can give you further suggestions. The key right now is to get off your ass and go after what you want.
I'm not saying that this is always going to get the girl. There will be lots of times when she is busy, or you can't afford her price, or she turns out to be a ROB. But you won't know unless you go get her. Keep sitting on your ass in your chair, and you'll just be left wondering and frustrated. If you start pursuing them, you will catch at least some of them.
I hate to think what could have happened if I had just sat in my chair and waited for my dream stripper to come to me. I could've lost her for all time. Instead, I went after what I wanted, and I got it. Now I'm having the greatest sex of my life with an adorably cute girl who is not even half my age. It was worth dealing with a 1000 ROBs to get her. I know what I'm talking about, and the guys who say otherwise are wrong. Go after what you want.
Your lack of funds does present somewhat of an obstacle as you obviously recognize. I suggest saving up your funds and going to clubs less frequently, so that you have more money when you do go. Even better, given the economic boom, you should be able to find a 350 K job pretty easily to pay these hot women that you're after.
And I never ask her for a dance. I just ask if she'd like to join me at my table. Then it's up to her to sell me on the idea. By that time, we've usually broken the ice and done some preliminary fondling. I doubt if the mileage I get is any less than if she did the asking. It's hard to imagine it being better.
Thinking back, I can hardly recall a single favorite dancer who initially approached me. Many of them in fact never ask. They get asked by more customers than they need. The theory that they aren't motivated to put out or aren't as good in the sack is ludicrous.
I get approached plenty by dancers. Mostly I'm weighing the value of the 7 who has her hands all over me while talking vs. the 9 sitting at the bar on her phone, presumably texting her regulars or boyfriend.
I really am just looking for a few lap dances, but because San Diego laws are restrictive I'd rather not pay for a lackluster air dance, no matter how hot the girl is. I suppose one strategy is to try to more aggressively lure the hottest girls into conversation and see how they come across.
Try to bring a friend or make friends with other patrons in the club who have had good experiences with a girl.
Have them spend the money first to see if the girl is worth it or not.
Obviously, the reviews on sites like these are very important too, if the reviewer lists stage names, make note of the ones who are spoken highly of at your club. And in reverse, use the info to avoid the ROBs.
This preference does not change when they become dancers.
Yes at most clubs there is at least one girl who is the most aggressive. She should be respected.
But I still prefer to select my girl and approach her myself.
SJG
If she approaches me, great. If not, I do the approaching.
SJG
I generally like the dancers to approach me, but at the same time I don't want to be cock blocked. I just pray that the ones who approach me are the good looking ones lol. If I see a dancer I like, and she doesn't approach me, then I will approach her.
SJG
strippers love feel like they earned their cash but still like all girls need to feel pretty (their livelihood depends on it)
SJG
In most all clubs, I rarely see a dancer I HAVE to have dance for me. If that special creature happens to appear, I'll ask. Only way I met my ATF, as she never did the "wanna dance" thing.
Other than stage-side, I've never tried to approach a dancer out on the floor (well, except for one time, but that was with a dancer I already knew). Not only are they usually faster than me, they usually pick up speed when they see me coming. Not only that, but I'd also lose my table!
By default; I’m the type to prefer to be approached b/c I feel a dancer that approaches me really wants my business and will thus give me better service – but SCs and dancers are def a crapshoot and a dancer that approaches you does not mean she will give good service and a dancer you approach does not mean she’ll give crappy service.
So if I’m going to be intellectually honest; I’d say it’s best to approach – one can’t hit a homerun if one does not get a chance to swing the bat.
I was @ Follies this past Saturday & Sunday – on my 2nd Follies visit of the weekend (Su eve); I got dances from several ebonies, which are my preference – but for two hours I had on and off seen this one ebony with one of the most amazing pair of tits I’ve seen in 44 years on this earth – I never got dances from her b/c either I was busy getting dances from other dancers or I just let her walk by when I was not busy and I didn’t grab her. As much fun as I had on my 2 visits to Follies on back-to-back days; all I kept thinking about is how I missed on that one particular ebony with the incredible tits.
One thing not touched upon in this thread is the practice of having a club employee (waitress, or "host") send a dancer over. Unless I'm at least somewhat familiar with dancer, this is not generally a good idea. I made this mistake once several years ago, and got the upsell routine, Ultimately, the dance was rather lame. This approach makes one appear eager, and thus in a weaker negotiating position.
So yes. See one you like and approach, it's not a commitment it's a beginning of something either awesome or the next lame thing you'll quickly forget while you approach the next to hottest stripper. They want your money, and a little playfulness while getting it goes a long way as far as miles.
I guess Rick and I kind of see eye to eye: If she doesn't want to come up to me, if she doesn't catch on when I make eye contact or she sees me looking at her, if she doesn't pick up on the fact that I tipped her and only her on stage ... then she doesn't deserve my hard-earned money. She has to at least show some level of interest in me by approaching, otherwise, there's a good chance she won't show any level of interest in me with her dance and/or isn't attentive enough to make a dance with me worthwhile.
So.....ya just never know.
Approaching a dancer takes a little confidence but make sure to smile, and be friendly not a creep as they get all sorts or people in and out of these clubs. Some will come to you but unless it's the day shift or not very crowded the best way of getting the girl you want a dance from is to be proactive and not a passive coward.
I learned much of this from my first visit and also from my CF who has been very good to me as I talk to her and got to know her to the point whenever I come now she is happy to chat, discount a dance, and/or does "extras" without me ever asking.
"Approaching a dancer takes a little confidence but make sure to smile, and be friendly not a creep as they get all sorts or people in and out of these clubs. Some will come to you but unless it's the day shift or not very crowded the best way of getting the girl you want a dance from is to be proactive and not a passive coward.
"
YES!
SJG
Just bring the money so that when you found the right girl to take to the backroom you won't make any excuses like "payday is going to be three days from now."
Things will go south really fast if your wallet is not stuffed with play money.
I'm thinking I'm more of the expert in this area now, no other non-stripper-certified opinions needed from any TUCLERs for this thread :p
And in AMPs I invent ways to accomplish the same thing.
In strip clubs the easiest way to approach them is to sit at their stage and start tipping. But approaching them when they are seated or standing, or even with other girls, is fine with me.
I would never interrupt them if they are with a male customer.
If they approach me first, that is okay, but if the interaction is to continue I'll find someway to take the lead and let her know that I am actually selecting her.
SJG
The Colorado Chamber Orchestra playing Markus Reuter's Todmorden 513
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mffn1EfR…
SJG
I am much better at stage tipping and making it clear a dancer should come see me.
That said, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, and fuck yes, if there's a girl I know I want, and it's slim-pickings, I'm going to go get her. Usually, I'll either catch her on stage, and when she comes to pick up her tips, I'll tell her "I'm sitting over there, if you're not already with a customer, come by!". Or, if she's standing at the bar, I'll stand right next to her when I order my drink... nearly 100% of the time, she'll look over at me and if I look back, we'll start talking.
In the end, it's about getting the experience I want, end to end. In my current clubs, I can almost always do that without approaching strippers. Sometimes, though, I have to. If I were going to different kinds of clubs, I assume I might have to approach the strippers more often.
IME overall it seems to me that clubs with high custy #s often lead to dancers not doing as much approaching or often bypassing certain custies and looking for specific ones.
I prefer to be approached b/c it makes me feel/think the dancer is interested in making $$$ and will thus give me good-service; and think if she does not care enough to approach then she’s not really that interested and thus bad service – but strippers are a crapshoot and hard to judge how they will actually behave once they are giving you dances – these days if I’m really in the mood to SC vs just kill some time I will often make the first move and found myself having a better time and getting w/ the dancers I wanna get w/ rather than just the ones that decide to approach me.
I think you worded that exactly the right way. It makes me FEEL like she's not interested. In reality, I think there's a zillion other reasons why a dancer might not approach, but even as a grizzled veteran, it can feel personal or whatever
Recently, I've found a new fave who really showed no interest in me from the start. I had to initiate contact with her after she went and sat alone after me tipping her during her stage set. She's since come over to my house half a dozen times and been very appreciative and eager to earn. I've also had the opposite experience many times, where the girl who doesn't approach customers is lazy and unmotivated/conceited.
Again, I think there's room for both approaches. I've been wrong enough when being the aggressor to know there's merit to sitting back, but I've also been right enough to know sitting back isn't always the way forward. Sometimes you gotta just trust your gut and do what feels right.