Do you approach dancers?

You're overthinking it. Just let things flow...

^That's probably good advice to me for a lot of life decisions. I obsess over value to the point I can't enjoy things like cars, furniture or vacations unless I feel like I got a good deal or picked the best value.

On the other hand, as the customer I feel entitled to be approached, dammit!

Even as a "veteran" clubber, I sometimes wonder about this, too. Seems as though the first girl or two that comes up to me often isn't up to my standards, so I turn them down. But then you wonder if you've been labeled as a "non-spender" when you don't get any attention for the next 30 minutes. It's not that you're not willing to spend, though. You're just ... picky.

Here's my tip: There's a very easy way to show you're just picky. Stay away from the stage until a girl you like takes her turn up there. Then go up, take a seat and tip her. I personally prefer to make sure she at least gets two or three dollars, including one towards the end of her show, whether or not she has my attention, to kind of send the message that I'm interested. Then, when the next girl comes up, or just before, I leave the stage and put myself in line with wherever the girl I'm interested in is probably headed.

I don't like approaching girls, either. No fun for me. I love being approached, though. While this isn't foolproof — these aren't the brightest women in the world, and sometimes they don't take the hint or get picked right off the stage by someone more aggressive — I've found this is the best strategy for the way I operate. Might be for you, too.

This is a never ending debate here on tuscl. My advice is always: 'Go For The Gusto!'

What is worse?.........sitting idly by in frustration in a club waiting for your chosen hot dancer to approach you?...........or be rejected by that same hot dancer when you approach her?

In the first case you will never get that hot dancer in your clutches. In the second case you have a 50-50 shot at a 'Yes' answer for dances from the hottie.

Seems to be a no-brainer to me.

I take pussy like a cave mane

This is a subject that I disagree with farmerart. I feel it's their job, not mine.

I like analogies. Suppose you go to a meat market wanting a steak. All the butcher has in the display case is hamburger but you see steak sitting on a counter in the back. Do you take the hamburger or leave or do you ask the butcher for a steak?

I agree with everyone so far, basically you have 3 choices.

1. Wait around and try to make eye contact, I like to watch the stage when I go to clubs.
2. Tip at the stage, maybe give her a 5 or 10 and she will most likely swing by after if you go sit down at a table after she is done (hopefully)
3. Go find her and ask for a dance, as said before whats the worst that can happen,.. probably the same result you would have gotten in option 1.

I just rape them in the parking lot after i snipe the bouncers then upload the video to youporn.com

Asking for a dance, especially from a young beauty, seems like more often than not leads to lackluster dances for me. Maybe they know there will be a line of guys waiting to be next up when they're done. I like to get my dances from dancers who are "hungry" for some action and feel they have something to prove. The closest I now come to asking for a dance is tipping well at the stage and often asking if I can see her after she gets off stage. But, in my opinion, there needs to be some motivation on the dancer's part to have the best odds of getting a satisfying lap dance.

Shadow,

But suppose you enter the butcher shop and the butcher isn't around? He hears the bell ring when you walk in, but he stays in the back room on the phone. I go to his competitor across the street.

I used to approach them. But then steve229 said they were "civies" even though they have sex for money and I got scared.

Just approach and ask.

It also depends on which club you happen to go to. Some clubs, they all seem to come up to you to try to sell dances and some other clubs, your only shot is to tip them while they are onstage and ask them then, or if you're lucky, they might be sitting at the bar talking to the bartender. My advice is to sit back and observe whether they come around or whether guys have to approach the girls. It's not like they can say no.

One other thing to remember is that the cutie you want is also someone everyone else probably wants as well.

Truth be told, I never, and I mean ever, approach them. It's not because I am even remotely shy, but rather that I want to be dealing with the girls who are hungry and forward enough to make the approach. Yes, this means that I must tolerate the aggressive first wave of bad to mediocre talent in order to get to the cream and, yes, I may have to wait a bit longer for the good ones, but to me it is worth it. And if I leave empty-handed, then so what? If the only girl that I wanted had a line of 3 guys waiting for her, the odds are good that my ROI with her was not going to be high anyway.

But if all you're looking for is a LD or two, then you might as well just approach the girl that you want. After all, what do you have to lose? It's not like you're trying to work anything more serious from her anyway.

^^^ Sounds like a really good System, RickyBoy.

Because if she does have sex for money, she'll only do it for those who didn't approach her. Doesn't need the money in that case. Makes total sense!

@JamesSD - I'm sure this doesn't apply to you, but some dancers tend to avoid approaching guys giving off that creepy loner "I like to eat my lunch alone at the bar" vibe

Send a waitress or bouncer to her letting her know you are interested in a dance. I've never had this not work and ss or not they always say they like it or it made them feel special or some other nonsense

Dougster posted: "Because if she does have sex for money, she'll only do it for those who didn't approach her. Doesn't need the money in that case. Makes total sense!"
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In my experience, girls who don't approach customers tend to be one or a combination of too busy already, shy, new and/or burned out. Also in my experience, none of these types are high probability OTC candidates.

If I see a hot dancer on stage I tip her. If I see a hot dancer sitting alone I ask if she would like a drink. I don't see any downside to approaching the dancers I want.

Strippers are not mind readers. They don't know if you like them or not, and the main reason they don't approach customers is that they're tired of being rejected.

James, apparently you found one of those very rare subjects upon the members of this board have a disagreement. However, there is only one guy on the site presently who is actively involved with a dream stripper. Therefore, take my advice.

I used to be just like you, sitting at my table waiting for the girls to approach me. And like you, I'd have my eye on a few really cute ones that I wanted but invariably they never stopped at my table. So, like you, I ended many might nights with frustration and blue balls. It's time to step up your game.

Things changed greatly for me when I started going after what I want. There is absolutely no reason to be shy in a strip club. It is the one place on earth where you can stop to talk to gorgeous young women and unless they are busy with someone else you are almost guaranteed to get their attention.

These girls don't have ESP. They can't read your mind. They don't necessarily know that you want to spend money on them just because you are staring at them. Every guy in the damn place is probably staring at them. If you want them, you have to let them know that in no uncertain terms.

There are lots of different techniques for doing this. I think it's best if you explore the options and find out what works best for your personality. Try it a few times and then let us know how it goes and we can give you further suggestions. The key right now is to get off your ass and go after what you want.

I'm not saying that this is always going to get the girl. There will be lots of times when she is busy, or you can't afford her price, or she turns out to be a ROB. But you won't know unless you go get her. Keep sitting on your ass in your chair, and you'll just be left wondering and frustrated. If you start pursuing them, you will catch at least some of them.

I hate to think what could have happened if I had just sat in my chair and waited for my dream stripper to come to me. I could've lost her for all time. Instead, I went after what I wanted, and I got it. Now I'm having the greatest sex of my life with an adorably cute girl who is not even half my age. It was worth dealing with a 1000 ROBs to get her. I know what I'm talking about, and the guys who say otherwise are wrong. Go after what you want.

Your lack of funds does present somewhat of an obstacle as you obviously recognize. I suggest saving up your funds and going to clubs less frequently, so that you have more money when you do go. Even better, given the economic boom, you should be able to find a 350 K job pretty easily to pay these hot women that you're after.

Good God..... this isn't rocket surgery.....if a girl you like approaches you; say yes. If you don't like her politely send her on her way. If you see a girl you like; approach her; either on the stage with a tip or just walk up to her and say "are you with someone right now?". It's a business....

I rarely approach anymore, because like others here have mentioned the dances sucked. Either she didn't feel like dancing but wanted the easy $$$, or was just a lousy dancer. Nowadays unless she shows an interest and approaches me I'll pass on her no matter how hot she is.

I turn down virtually ALL girls who approach me first. I'm only interested in the hottest girls in the club, not the "hungry" ones. When I see what I want, I go take it. I approach her while she's on stage, snag her while she's passing by, or I'll get up and go over to wherever I spot her, if that's what it takes. Usually, she joins me right away. Sometimes, she'll say she's too busy, and then wind up joining me anyway a bit later.

And I never ask her for a dance. I just ask if she'd like to join me at my table. Then it's up to her to sell me on the idea. By that time, we've usually broken the ice and done some preliminary fondling. I doubt if the mileage I get is any less than if she did the asking. It's hard to imagine it being better.

Thinking back, I can hardly recall a single favorite dancer who initially approached me. Many of them in fact never ask. They get asked by more customers than they need. The theory that they aren't motivated to put out or aren't as good in the sack is ludicrous.

I am in agreement with Rick D. I wait for them to approach me. I do try to make eye contact and make certain to tip when they are on stage. Usually say something like, "Come see me when you get a chance." The ones who don't come by are off my list. I don't chase them. In spite of Farmer Art's cogent explanation, I'm not willing to chase them down.

Chandler is absolutely right. If you don't pursue them, you're likely missing out on some of the best dancers at the club. They aren't walking around the tables soliciting dances because they don't have to. If they are hot and they are good, they stay busy with the guys seeking them out and they avoid the hassle of dealing with a bunch of no money losers that are just going to turn them down.

I do not approach them. I jest watch the on stage and go to the bathroom to jerk of. If you pay to approach them your a retard.

I do not approach them. I jest watch the on stage and go to the bathroom to jerk of. If you pay to approach them your a retard.

Thanks for the great discussion, guys!

I get approached plenty by dancers. Mostly I'm weighing the value of the 7 who has her hands all over me while talking vs. the 9 sitting at the bar on her phone, presumably texting her regulars or boyfriend.

I really am just looking for a few lap dances, but because San Diego laws are restrictive I'd rather not pay for a lackluster air dance, no matter how hot the girl is. I suppose one strategy is to try to more aggressively lure the hottest girls into conversation and see how they come across.

Yeeeeeep

Intel is important.

Try to bring a friend or make friends with other patrons in the club who have had good experiences with a girl.
Have them spend the money first to see if the girl is worth it or not.
Obviously, the reviews on sites like these are very important too, if the reviewer lists stage names, make note of the ones who are spoken highly of at your club. And in reverse, use the info to avoid the ROBs.

Women like it when a guy approaches them. It shows that he is not fearful of rejection. But more than that, it means that there is something about them which he really likes.

This preference does not change when they become dancers.

Yes at most clubs there is at least one girl who is the most aggressive. She should be respected.

But I still prefer to select my girl and approach her myself.

SJG

I've said the before, life is too short to wait for a possibly busy, possibly tired, possibly flaky, possibly pissed at her BF, possibly popular dancer to get around to noticing me when I have legs to walk to her and lips to talk to her.

If she approaches me, great. If not, I do the approaching.

You will get one chance to be the one who does the selecting. She will remember it forever. So I don't waste that chance.

SJG

If you see a dancer that you want to get dances from, but you don't approach her, and you end up not being able to get dances from her, then that's your fault.

I generally like the dancers to approach me, but at the same time I don't want to be cock blocked. I just pray that the ones who approach me are the good looking ones lol. If I see a dancer I like, and she doesn't approach me, then I will approach her.

I prefer to orchestrate it so that she can see that I am deliberately selecting and approaching her.

SJG

Wow. The strip club is the one place on earth where men are pretty much allowed to be men. When I see a stripper I like I definitely approach and say, "Hi you're fun hot but I'm still deciding on whether I want a dance or not" Let's them know that you are interested but not trying to throw cash at them. And I am shy. Would never be that up front outside the club (even though lately that has started to change a little too)
strippers love feel like they earned their cash but still like all girls need to feel pretty (their livelihood depends on it)

^^^^^^^^^^^^ Very True!

SJG

Simple question to answer.

In most all clubs, I rarely see a dancer I HAVE to have dance for me. If that special creature happens to appear, I'll ask. Only way I met my ATF, as she never did the "wanna dance" thing.

I usually sit back and have a Coke. If I'm not approached after that first drink, then I'll start tipping stage-side. If that dancer really doesn't hold my eye when I'm there at the stage, I won't ask her about some dances; if she does, I'll try not to mumble and drool too much. And I figure when dancers see a guy spending some money on them, they might consider him a possible customer.

Other than stage-side, I've never tried to approach a dancer out on the floor (well, except for one time, but that was with a dancer I already knew). Not only are they usually faster than me, they usually pick up speed when they see me coming. Not only that, but I'd also lose my table!

Some clubs have that certain personality where many dancers don’t do any approaching even when one is eye-fucking them – in my limited PL experience; this is more common in the more upscalish clubs where the dancers may not be as pushy or many of those dancers are just looking for a whale to score rather than saying yes to every LD request.

By default; I’m the type to prefer to be approached b/c I feel a dancer that approaches me really wants my business and will thus give me better service – but SCs and dancers are def a crapshoot and a dancer that approaches you does not mean she will give good service and a dancer you approach does not mean she’ll give crappy service.

So if I’m going to be intellectually honest; I’d say it’s best to approach – one can’t hit a homerun if one does not get a chance to swing the bat.

I was @ Follies this past Saturday & Sunday – on my 2nd Follies visit of the weekend (Su eve); I got dances from several ebonies, which are my preference – but for two hours I had on and off seen this one ebony with one of the most amazing pair of tits I’ve seen in 44 years on this earth – I never got dances from her b/c either I was busy getting dances from other dancers or I just let her walk by when I was not busy and I didn’t grab her. As much fun as I had on my 2 visits to Follies on back-to-back days; all I kept thinking about is how I missed on that one particular ebony with the incredible tits.

James, if you are in San Diego, you should either be going to Tijuana or trying to set up OTC dates with a local girl. I would never pay money for what passes as a lap dance in SD.

gmd said it best, yet I can see Rick Dugan's pov, too. Something about getting the best deal from a "motivated seller." Yet it seems to be one of those laws of nature that the less attractive dancers seem to be the ones doing the most approaching. Sometimes, one needs to be proactive to get the desired dancer(s).
One thing not touched upon in this thread is the practice of having a club employee (waitress, or "host") send a dancer over. Unless I'm at least somewhat familiar with dancer, this is not generally a good idea. I made this mistake once several years ago, and got the upsell routine, Ultimately, the dance was rather lame. This approach makes one appear eager, and thus in a weaker negotiating position.

^^^ I'll quote a very wise woman who once poetically said "Girls just want to have fun, oh whoa, girls just want to have fuh-un. That's all they really want is some fun." Negotiations are fckn boring and all business. Yes that's how you end up with the pitifully air dances. Use the strip clubs as practice for the real world. Approach strippers, laugh, have fun, they are a Simi captive audience anyway. Fuchs around, the biggest loss you'll have is some money for another fckn stripper.

So yes. See one you like and approach, it's not a commitment it's a beginning of something either awesome or the next lame thing you'll quickly forget while you approach the next to hottest stripper. They want your money, and a little playfulness while getting it goes a long way as far as miles.

...and JS69 is absolutely right about SD clubs. Drive the 30 mins to TJ. Don't believe the hype You'll leave with all your body part, and you might even get lucky and bang the SDSU students that still party there

One of the things about where I live is there is a mandatory "tip walk," i.e. when a girl gets done on stage, she has to walk around the bar and ask everyone for a tip, at most of the places local to me. I don't think it's a law, but it is the clubs in this area. So there's a good chance, if you position yourself right in the club such that you're on her tip walk path, you'll get to see the girl you want.

I guess Rick and I kind of see eye to eye: If she doesn't want to come up to me, if she doesn't catch on when I make eye contact or she sees me looking at her, if she doesn't pick up on the fact that I tipped her and only her on stage ... then she doesn't deserve my hard-earned money. She has to at least show some level of interest in me by approaching, otherwise, there's a good chance she won't show any level of interest in me with her dance and/or isn't attentive enough to make a dance with me worthwhile.

I rarely approach dancers because I know that if a dancer approaches me, then she's more inclined to give me a better dance. But interestingly tonight I was intrigued by a brunette beauty sitting at the bar all by herself at my fave club. I decided to try and strike up a conversation with her, assuming that she wasn't into girls because she just seemed to have that kind of vibe. To my surprise & delight she turned out to be VERY girl friendly and gave me one of the best HE dances that I have had in a while.

So.....ya just never know.

I am new to going to the club as well but I found out that theres a few easy ways to get what you want with a large or small spending amount. If you see that rare gem or just a lady you like you can wait until she is dancing and keep her company, tipping while you chat with her. If she is sitting alone see if she would like a drink or some company(do not approach a dancer on her cell phone excessively as she probably is not in the mood for a customer).

Approaching a dancer takes a little confidence but make sure to smile, and be friendly not a creep as they get all sorts or people in and out of these clubs. Some will come to you but unless it's the day shift or not very crowded the best way of getting the girl you want a dance from is to be proactive and not a passive coward.

I learned much of this from my first visit and also from my CF who has been very good to me as I talk to her and got to know her to the point whenever I come now she is happy to chat, discount a dance, and/or does "extras" without me ever asking.

"Use the strip clubs as practice for the real world. Approach strippers, laugh, have fun, they are a Simi captive audience anyway."

"Approaching a dancer takes a little confidence but make sure to smile, and be friendly not a creep as they get all sorts or people in and out of these clubs. Some will come to you but unless it's the day shift or not very crowded the best way of getting the girl you want a dance from is to be proactive and not a passive coward.
"

YES!

SJG

I agree with GACAclub,you seem to be just my favourite type of customer,the guy who comes to a club to enjoy himself,not taking anything too seriously or overthinks things,happy to try everything once,ends up sticking to what works best for him! :) Very good of you hon.

^^^@LenaSmirnova Thans for the cosign and the compliment sweetness :)

In strip clubs, girls are always approachable.

Just bring the money so that when you found the right girl to take to the backroom you won't make any excuses like "payday is going to be three days from now."

Things will go south really fast if your wallet is not stuffed with play money.

Bring at least $100 and approach the prettiest girl in the club, once she decides to stay you have to play your game by being the cool guy who wants to have fun.

@Alabegonz ... were your theories stripper validated?

I'm thinking I'm more of the expert in this area now, no other non-stripper-certified opinions needed from any TUCLERs for this thread :p

No really. .. I think I've got this market cornered

@JamesSD...so what your style now: Approach or Wait to be Approached?

I always like to approach girls in strip clubs. I like to pick the girl and let her see that I am picking her, and that I am not afraid to assert myself, and not afraid of being rejected. I want her to know that I approached her.

And in AMPs I invent ways to accomplish the same thing.

In strip clubs the easiest way to approach them is to sit at their stage and start tipping. But approaching them when they are seated or standing, or even with other girls, is fine with me.

I would never interrupt them if they are with a male customer.

If they approach me first, that is okay, but if the interaction is to continue I'll find someway to take the lead and let her know that I am actually selecting her.

SJG

The Colorado Chamber Orchestra playing Markus Reuter's Todmorden 513
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mffn1EfR…

N nothing ventured, nothing gained. Don't be a pussy.

^^^^^^^ I agree with flagooner, and I will also add that it carries a great deal of weight with women, even in P4P venues, when they see that you indeed are not a pussy.

SJG

I still don't approach. My main issue is I like to feel out a dancer before committing to dances. I feel like if I approach but am not feeling it it's awkward.

I am much better at stage tipping and making it clear a dancer should come see me.

What did I do wrong? SJG agrees with me.

I tend to like dancers to approach me. A beautiful girl approaching me, and requesting MY company, is one of the experiences I really enjoy at the strip club. I'm unapologetic about it, I dig it, even though some of you guys look down on it. If it's a decent shift (that is, relatively target-rich environment), I tend not to fall in love with a girl I haven't met yet, so I'm fine sitting tight, and sometimes another better girl comes by first -- win/win. So as a general rule, I wait to be approached, although I do things to make myself approachable, rather than just sitting at the table steaming, as so many guys seem to do (based on tuscl threads).

That said, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, and fuck yes, if there's a girl I know I want, and it's slim-pickings, I'm going to go get her. Usually, I'll either catch her on stage, and when she comes to pick up her tips, I'll tell her "I'm sitting over there, if you're not already with a customer, come by!". Or, if she's standing at the bar, I'll stand right next to her when I order my drink... nearly 100% of the time, she'll look over at me and if I look back, we'll start talking.

In the end, it's about getting the experience I want, end to end. In my current clubs, I can almost always do that without approaching strippers. Sometimes, though, I have to. If I were going to different kinds of clubs, I assume I might have to approach the strippers more often.

As I posted back in 2014; there are some clubs that for w/e reason the dancers don’t do too much approaching – two such examples seem to be St James in Houston and Tootsies in Miami – both these clubs are very popular thus lots of custies and a good custy/dancer ratio (in the dancer’s favor) thus I assume leading to dancers seemingly not having to hustle much and seemingly able to take their time and pick out whom they want since there are often a good # of well-heeled custies.

IME overall it seems to me that clubs with high custy #s often lead to dancers not doing as much approaching or often bypassing certain custies and looking for specific ones.

I prefer to be approached b/c it makes me feel/think the dancer is interested in making $$$ and will thus give me good-service; and think if she does not care enough to approach then she’s not really that interested and thus bad service – but strippers are a crapshoot and hard to judge how they will actually behave once they are giving you dances – these days if I’m really in the mood to SC vs just kill some time I will often make the first move and found myself having a better time and getting w/ the dancers I wanna get w/ rather than just the ones that decide to approach me.

-->"I prefer to be approached b/c it makes me feel/think the dancer is interested in making $$$ and will thus give me good-service; and think if she does not care enough to approach then she’s not really that interested and thus bad service"

I think you worded that exactly the right way. It makes me FEEL like she's not interested. In reality, I think there's a zillion other reasons why a dancer might not approach, but even as a grizzled veteran, it can feel personal or whatever

I still don't have time to sit on my ass waiting for someone to notice me. :)

old thread, but I think there's room for both approaches. In situations where I feel like I'm the prize (meaning, I know I'm one of few good customers) I'll sit back and let them come to me. In other situations, where there's more customers competing for dancers, I've got no problem approaching. There's certainly other reasons, as GMD mentioned where I'll do the approaching, sometimes I just don't have time to sit around and wait for the girl I'm interested in to come over. Other times I'm indifferent towards a girl and I'll take Papi's approach to see if she's motivated to earn my money.

Recently, I've found a new fave who really showed no interest in me from the start. I had to initiate contact with her after she went and sat alone after me tipping her during her stage set. She's since come over to my house half a dozen times and been very appreciative and eager to earn. I've also had the opposite experience many times, where the girl who doesn't approach customers is lazy and unmotivated/conceited.

Again, I think there's room for both approaches. I've been wrong enough when being the aggressor to know there's merit to sitting back, but I've also been right enough to know sitting back isn't always the way forward. Sometimes you gotta just trust your gut and do what feels right.